Bamz555:
Zonal chairman of friendzone.

Did you read the part about me rejecting her first? do you even know what friendzone means?

chocolateme:
Bros for a start, do you know that you don't know exactly what you want in the relationship department?
Do you mind giving yourself, the lady in question and other parties a BREAK?
Sometimes, it's always there in our front but we keep looking for it elsewhere.
You are not been fair to her because it's obvious you don't want to date her but you want to colonize and keep her around you enjoying the emotional torture you are making her go through for your sake oblivious of that.
Now that you feel her slipping away from you, you allowed infatuation to overwhelm you thinking you are now seriously in love with her.
She has become over saturated with loving you and has moved on, that force of energy to love YOU the same has faded from her.
Even if you manipulate or seduce her into coming back to you, bet me it would never remain the same.
Do you know that coming out of a relationship and diving into another one without healing from the former will ruin the later?
So I think you should humbly give yourself a break and and do other things with your life aside relationship palaver.
Sometimes, being free from all those relationship issues can be MIND BLOWING.
Op.. All these things I'm listing here, I hope it is entering? Not going in from one ear and disappearing through the other.
Be strong. But mind you, it may take a long time but if you guys are made for each other then fate will have a way of connecting you two back.

Spot on. Thanks for this advice. I want to talk to her and let her know things are fine. She's one of the best things a man could ask for and I dont want to lose her because shes a very good friend too.

obiorathesubtle:
the bolded, to me, does insinuate that you had sex with her, which is of course very wrong since she's just your friend. If you did that! Shame on you!


However, you have emotions swimming up and down around you. You need to calm down, you had your chance, you blew it.


Get over yourself okay? You know what you want, you want to retain her friendship, you don't want a "relationship", you can do that by talking to her, but respect her new relationship as a good friend.

Sex? I never even kiss am. I tried to keep it as platonic as possible. When we are walking she would put my arms on her waist, I would remove it and place it on her shoulders.

I guess I took her for granted and its too late to make up for that. Based on what people have been saying, I can just be there for her as a good friend.

osesology:
You won't like what I'm going to say but I'll say it anyway. Kindly, respectably and gentlemanly leave her alone and go look for someone else because she's already moved on after you rejected her.
By the way, where did all this if-I-don't-have-her-I'll-die love suddenly come out from anyway?

lool. bros, no be so. The matter is a very complex matter. I really dont want to make a meal out of this matter and quiclly forget about it in a week or so.

JumpingChicken:


What do you want?

tbh, I dont know. thats why I'm not even angry she is with the guy.

I'm just afraid things will be strenuous especially after the huge fight we just had.

hertz9te:
friendzoned

How can I be friendzoned if I didnt plan in dating her in the first place? smh

There's this girl who has been my very close friend for the past two years (I spoke about her in one other thread I opened up sometime ago). While I've been in other relationships, she's stuck around with me and vice versa. I make her happy in many ways and so does she.

I never had any intention of dating her. Sometime in February (while I was In my last relationship) she told me she loved me and I told her never to speak of it again because obviously I didnt feel the same way about her and I didnt want to tell her that outrightly.

Now to the bane of this tale. Ive been single for the past 4 months and so has she. We've been there for each other but not dating though. Last month she went for a beach party and met this other guy who happens to be friends with my close friends too.

Unfortunately I started having feelings for this girl this past month too (I didnt know about this new guy). I told her how I felt about her and she asked me why I was just telling her, that "its too late. Im sorry". Now I have put that thought out of my mind.

This weekend me and her had a huge fight (for other reasons) and out of anger she told me she was already "dating this guy", "I can go and die" etc etc. We made up yesterday and I asked her why she didnt tell me sooner, she said it was because she didnt want to hurt me.

Now I'm sad and heartbroken, not because she's dating this guy but because I found out during a fight.

I dont want to be in a relationship with her or anyone for that matter. But I still need her in my life because talking to her makes me happy and vice versa too.

Can the great and ever lenient minds of Nairaland tell me what to do? You fit yab me oo. Its still one love.

I forgot to add earlier on. its should also be noted that my friends told me the guy said he just wants to shag her and has no "real" intentions of dating her. I didnt tell her because I dont interfere in anyway

sorry for leaving that part out

Dragonking:
[size=15pt]Nigeria, a country that celebrates criminals and dictators. Smh[/size]

Come on. are you going to keep punishing them for the sins of their father? stop this pragmatic victimization. we wont go anywhere with this kind of thinking.

nickkylawve:
Lol

your dp looks nice. b bs

nickkylawve:
Lol

your dp looks nice. b b's

Nina4u:
I want to say something bout the anti gay laws in Naija ...... 14 years in jail not for murder ...not for rape ...not for parading people naked on the streets ...not for jungle justice but for love another person with same sex ...
I believe it is the role of the Nigerian president to protect the interest of the citizens of the state ( Minority included).
I mean this is one of the core reasons beeing a president...
So i don't understand why he would pass such law and endanger the lives of the citizens to whom he pledge to protect.
I read an article about a week ago that praised a so called experiment which "proves gay is wrong" this made me laugh till dawn as this man appears to be comparing the fact that north and south poles of two magnets were attracted to each other while the same poles repel.
I mean what has this got to do with living creatures.
This is stupidity and retardness at work.
This was also referred to in the article as a ground breaking finding. I think you will find that this "ground breaking experiment" is one that a secondary school student would have taken part in at a very basic level of their science or biology course. This is a shame to the university of Lagos who appeared to endorse this writing.
In regards to those ignorant fools tending to justify their hatred of gay people by using the bible, maybe you guys should look into your own act before you judge.
Is it not the bible that says judge not so that you may not be judged?.Prostitution is forbidden in the bible and when people were throwing stones at a prostitute, did Jesus join in on throwing the stones? No he didn't. So why are we all joining and hailing on people who are physically assaulting gay people? if u got to pay u gfriend or go shopping with her or else no sex shes a prostitute ... Love don't cost a thing ... Give her air time ..pay rent ..by hair or clothes ..shes a prostitute ... Tell her to get a freakin job??
Why are we taking laws into our own hands? Are we as human so barbaric?
...

I agree with everything you just said except the president"s part. The president doesnt pass the law, the Senate does. I cant say Im homophobic but I dont just get the idea behind it because my sister, toto sweet gaan. Even the smell dey peperi me.

Moving on, using the bible to speak against homosexuality is Wrong because the bible contradicts itself in so many ways (book of Leviticus for example).

A more reasonable argument would be that its against Nature and I would totally agree with you becuase even two bulls cant be seen sleeping with each other. Its unethical.

All in all, I dont hate homosexuals but my own be say make Gaybriel no carry him own come my side.

He's probably cheating on you because of your bad grammar.

I would too if you type this horribly. Reading what you wrote up there gave me headache

Werrin be this? Jisos!!!!!!!

WebSurfer:
this is actually a sort of test, ive been over this for long, im trying to deal with it once and for all

Op, you are not a serious person. I had a situation similar to yours, my ex thought I had an affair with this close female friend of mine. we broke up (for apparent reasons other than this), I decided to stick with this friend to help me.

We have been close friends for almost 2 years and I finally told her how I felt about her last night. her response was "why are you just telling me this?"

a guy cant be a best friends with a girl or vice versa. emotions will take over sooner or later.

if you love your gf, cut the strings with your best friend

jonhemma11:
He is into estate and also owns a music label

looool. If i hear. How much houses him dey sell for him "estate"? How many people dey buy the albums of him label mates? We all know what he's pushing. All these ones na just camouflage

Why you sef go give the number of your babe to another guy? At that first instance when the guy ask, you suppose clear am. Na you give your guy greenlight.

Ramos16:
Hi guys,

I recently decided to ask out my friend who I have had a crush since university days, that is about 6 years now. We have been in touch, and just a few days back I decided to ask her out. We do not stay close to each other, and we normally communicate over the phone.

For the past two months we have been communicating on a daily basis, we talk for about 4-5 times a day, each spanning at least 30 minutes, and it was always beautiful talking to her, I could tell she also enjoys talking to me from the way she responds. So last week I asked her out, on phone. I am one of those people who hate distance relationship as I perceive that they never work out, but in this case I could not let her slip away again.

On the day I asked her out, she was quiet almost throughout my sermon and professing of my love to her, I tried to get her to tell me how she feels about everything I had said to her, she only said she was not angry with me, I tried to push harder to get more specific and possibly positive response, but nothing came, she said I just told her about it, and she cannot make any decision at the time, so I should give her more time to think about it. Its about 4 days since that day, and we still talk on phone, only that this time, we talk like 1-2 times per day for just about 4-5 minutes, its almost like we now have nothing to talk about.

I really love this lady, my love for her is genuine, I love so much that if she eventually says "No" to me, I probably would not be able to be her friend again, not because I will hate her (that can never happen), but because my eyes will tear up and heart bleed every time I realise I might never be able to be with her, certainly being her friend will never make me heal.

I wish to know what y'all think of this situation, was it a bad move from me in the first place to tell her how I felt about her? and what is all the weirdness going on between us now?

PS: I am still waiting for her reply

Wetin happen?

And a very good friend of mine complain i dont call her for like 2-3 days. I had better make that move.

Thanks everyone for your replies. New thoughts are also welcomed.

Estharfabian:
You Obviously Sent Her Bad Vibes...
I'd probably Ignore Your Ass till Ah graduate iffa Was in Her shoes...Buh Anyways..if You want her...Get Her.! Else, you'd be miserable....

ManUp And tell her What You feel...A little Roses, Love Poems, Recharge Cards(500naira upwards pls) , Brilliant smile, Jokes, constant Begging And Incessant Gifts should do the Trick...I'd say Go for it!

Ps--just do all those Trickery things U Guys do To Get A girl..Bring Your A-Game..from Your story, she's Not That Tough...she's a girly girl..She'd forgive yah...


......... We are considerate Fellas...""

I guess I'll just have to tell her then. What Have i got to lose?

naijaboiy:
What is wrong with some people these days?

How? wetin people these days dey do?

Cutehector:


First off, u knw its easty for a gurl to open up to a guy dat she likes him a lot. Ah mean it takes a lot of courage. For a guy, it may just be a normal thing, buh its so hard for a gurl to confess her love for him, so after she has said it, and u turned her down, she must hav felt hurt or smth... U were busy living in ur past whrby she ws offering u a future together and u wr so daft to acknowledge it....

I get what youre saying and your making a valid point but ypure mixing things up. she told me she loved me when I was IN a relationship and NOT when I was recovering from my ex.

Dojupyo:
Love triangle... You've really missed your chances.. She asked you early this year if you loved her and you asked her never to speak of the matter again..
Case closed, now it seems she loves another...


Although guys feel hurt too but that shouldn't make you not to love another..
When a door of happiness closes, another opens only when you give it a chance..

Besides if you know dating would be a distraction to you, keep off for a while until you are successful No say I no tell you.. This applies to all

I'm beginning to accept that fact and i'm giving her space. She thinks I'm treating her like shit anytime she sees me starts frowning and looks away. I dont want her to hate me.

SHould I tell her whats happening? WHat do you think?

Dojupyo:
Love triangle... You've really missed your chances.. She asked you early this year if you loved her and you asked her never to speak of the matter again..
Case closed, now it seems she loves another...


Although guys feel hurt too but that shouldn't make you not to love another..
When a door of happiness closes, another opens only when you give it a chance..

Besides if you know dating would be a distraction to you, keep off for a while until you are successful No say I no tell you.. This applies to all

I'm beginning to accept that fact and i'm giving her space. She thinks I'm treating her like shit anytime she sees me starts frowning and looks away. I dont want her to hate me.

SHould I tell her whats happning? WHat do you think?

Cutehector:
Mcheew... R u even a man? Why would u be heartbroken cux of an ex? I thought its only d ladies dat feel hurt...




Well I woild say u blew ur chance...

Bros, if you do everything for one girl and she carry you like a oich of salt while youre still hoping she will change. If she doesnt believe me you will be scarred.

Back to the matter it may seem like I have blown my chance with this current girl but she doesnt know the reason why I'm treating her like shit. This is tough. I dont want her to hate me.

First of all (dont go down low), I must say any comment/reply will be welcomed but still try to keep it civil (abeg). This may be a bit looong. Sorry.

I start here - There is this babe whom ive been close friends for about 22 months now (We became friends when i was in my last relationship). She's in 300L while I'm in my finals. When i was having issues with the drama my ex was giving me, I fell into depression. This babe helped me get out of this. She gave me advices, stuck with me and made me know that my ex was just bad pick in a basket of many good fruits

Over time, me and this babe have grown into being close friends to the extent that everyone in the faculty thinks we are dating (even her bestfriend and roomies too). I had to clear anyone who asked me that she wasnt my girlfriend (she didnt really like that fact).

To the crux of the matter- In February this year, she asked me if I loved her because she did (N.B i was still in a relationship), I didnt tell her "NO" out-rightly; i played it cool and i told her never to let us speak of that matter again.

Recently (over the past month) I have been acting strange towards her because I'm starting to develop feelings for her. I was emotionally scarred in my last relationship which made me vow to myself not to fall for any woman again (and i thought I was serious about this). I stopped calling/texting her and when she calls to ask whats wrong, I keep giving excuses about family isssues, school issues etc.

It should also be noted that there's this guy that has been flirting with her (found out from my friends who are in his dept) of which she hasnt told me about which is weird because she tells me everything and it seems she likes this guy too.

I really really really like this girl, I know she feels the same way about me.. I need you people to advice me on what to do; Should i tell her how I've been feeling about her recently feel or should I keep feeling bad/poignant and lose her to this guy because I've missed my chance with her already?

Please folks, Help a brother out. Thinking wan kill me.

ENIGMA24:

For example op, this one is jubilating in his house, to him he has just made perfect sense.....
I suggest u ignore....just as I would after this because I know he would quote me.

And why wont i quote you after you quote me first? So its your own comment that makes sense. I am telling him the truth.

The only reason his friends called him a fool first was because maybe the girl wasnt showing signs of a virgin. If she was showing signs that she was a virgin (dressing, talking etc) then believe me that convo wouldnt have come up between him and his Friends

[size=20pt]Guy, if you no get any better thing say abeg go self-service with your hands instead of using them to quote me.[/size]

LOOL @op[size=16pt] You are a FOOOL [/size]

Another man (men) is shining her Congo and you're doing perfect gentleman. I wont be surprised if she decides to hand Invitation card to her wedding tomorrow.

Nnemuka:

silly wizard..... Na yansh go kill you like your DP and not me. Onukwu

hahaha come gimme your yansh na make i chop am. e big reach the one way dey my dp?

Nnemuka:

amen... the prayer of everybody is to grow old in good health. From 32 to 35 to 40 and 50.....
I pray you die soonest so you wont live to see a 32 year old single lady since being 32 is a taboo in your world.

Say amen to my prayers.

BTW if you think am pained or think am 32 then bro the joke is on you.
even next year i wont be 30. 30 yrs is a long time from now.
just replying a mad man's post.

Loool I say amen to your prayers and If I'm not dead by the time I'm 40 abeg come and kill me.

stupid witch.

Nnemuka:

mumu, what is wrong being 32 and single? is it a curse
kids everywhere

loool somebody is pained. Biological clock is ticking tick-tock.

From 32 to 35. from 35 to 39 just like the story of the assistant choir-mistress in my church, nobody wan marry am again because her age-group are married with kids.

Keep denying reality/truth. Being 32 and single as a woman is bad.

greatiyk4u:


Wot do u mean by typing?..........I accept corrections when necessary.......so ur input will be highly appreciated

*sigh* na work you wan gimme. Note the bolded words from your text.

Non academic students in dis content re d "self acclaimed n self admitted" students of a tertiary institution.....they re simply dos who claim 2 be undergraduates of an institution wtout actually securing any admission in d institution.....[b]dey [/b]re usually dia own VC,dean of faculty,HOD, lecturers......lolz

Non academic students comprises of both male n female gender but experience has shown dat dey re more among d female folks....dis kind of situation can be caused by rustication,frustration,low self esteem n bogus ego resulting 4rm lack of patience 2 wait 4 God's time......

Dey re mostly found in public skuls n incase u ve never had d experience of d existence of dez group of students; dis thread will be a guild 2 easily spotting dem @ a look

Dow dis write-up may be exaggerated,u shld by dis thread learn dat not all d students who wile away dia time in skul re not serious as most of dem re actually NON ACaDEMIC STUDENTS

Now let's get down 2 business.............

LookmanTalk:
My sister I can confidently tell you that she is mature hence the reason for even considering him.. God fearing man no easy to come by o! if you agree with me. Thanks

why do people in this country especially on this forum through the word "mature" around loosely?

Maturity doesn't come with age. Just because shes in her late 20s/early 30s doesn't mean shes matured. She has a baby brain. SHE IS IN NO WAY MATURED BASED ON WHAT YOU'VE JUST TOLD US.

Why did she choose to marry/date him at first if she wasn't physically attracted to him? if she cant brand him off as her partner why did she choose to go into a relationship with him in the first place, eh?

Please stop calling every old person "mature". Those words are not relatable i.e Old =/= Mature.

If she's having second thoughts, my advice to her would be to just call it off. Its better to be safe than sorry so she wont live the rest of her life being miserable.