₦airaland Forum

TheGiftedOne:
Greedy snake. Swallowing it's size.

Imagine!

Double wahala for dead body and the owner of Dem body.

micflo28:
Simple reason why white men are fair, there weather is clement. Same in Igbo land. Hausa's at darker because of their harsh sunny weather due to fewer trees and desert encroachment. Yoruba's are as a result of what they eat. They often eat stuffs that reflect and alter their DNA and gene to be dark, pepper, Amala etc

You started well, and you ended it with rubbish

BitmapStudios:
Baba ni baba maa je l'ojokojo. Greatest UI!!!

Great jor

See as she fine

madgoat:
rituals

RIP

Fu*k you

5 predictors of divorce




Have you ever been in the middle of a heated fight with your spouse, only to realize your arms are crossed, your teeth are gritted, and you’re staring at the wall (a full 180 degrees away from your significant other)?

If the answer is yes, and if you find this happening often, you might be in a state of marriage crisis.

This behavior demonstrates a sense of contempt for your spouse and is just one of the “4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse” according to Dr. John Gottman, founder of the Gottman method and a leading expert in the field of marital distress.

In fact, these “4 Horsemen” are among the most well-recognized and accepted signs that all is not well with a married couple. They also top our list of the five key predictors of divorce. What are the rest? Keep reading to find out.

1. “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse”

After 40 years of close observation of married couples across all categories and life stages, Gottman identified the presence of a combination of key factors that resulted in divorce.

The first is criticism, which occurs when one partner brings an issue to the other in a harsh fashion, or with a judgmental or critical tone. Another horsemen is defensiveness. While it can initially seem like a good way to protect yourself, defensiveness is a way to blame your partner and refuse to hear them out.

As previously mentioned, the third horsemen is contempt. Just as it sounds, contempt is present when things get particularly nasty and the volume gets turned up in an argument. One or both partners get belligerent, critical, and sarcastic. They might roll their eyes or display other dismissive body language.

Finally, the fourth horsemen is stonewalling, which happens when one partner shuts down and stops listening or responding to the other. When this behavior is in action, there’s no reaction and the other partner can become frustrated.

These four behaviors are grouped together because they often occur simultaneously and prevent either partner from being objective because their emotions and reactions reach an escalated state.

2. The Harsh Start-Up

When couples argue, the first few minutes of the conversation often determines if it will go well or poorly. About 96 percent of the time, if one spouse initiates a dialogue in a harsh manner, the discussion will escalate into an argument and ultimately fail. Once an argument rises to a certain point, the couple will struggle to resolve the conflict altogether.

3. Flooding

This happens when emotions are so intense that neither spouse can gain perspective or deescalate the argument. Flooding can also reflect other types of physiological distress. It can occur due to hurts and damage caused by the argument itself, or it can be the result of reminders of past negative experiences. Typically, when having a reaction characterized by flooding, people’s heart rates rise, as they enter into a fight, flight, or freeze mode.

4. Failed Repair Attempts

When attempts to repair and improve the relationship have failed, a sense of futility can set in. Research indicates that if the elements of arguing described as the “Four Horsemen” are prevalent, the marriage is 82 percent likely to end in divorce. Combined with a history of failed repair attempts, the chance of the relationship ending rises to more than 90 percent. Learning how to make up and repair hurts in a relationship is critical to marital longevity.

5. Bad Memories

Deeply-entrenched couples often have a negative view of their marriage or spouse and, in turn, rewrite the past. If you find it difficult to recall your early days fondly, and/or if you have rewritten your marital history, chances are the marriage has tipped into what Dr. Gottman calls “Negative Sentiment Override.” This occurs when one or both spouses perceive the marriage as more problematic than good.

If these patterns and behaviors are familiar to you, it can be painful. You might be experiencing feelings of hopefulness or are unsure whether things will ever get better.

However, just as there is research that helps professionals identify and understand the negative patterns couples can develop, there is also research to help us understand how these patterns can be named and healed.

Nmezor:
Really weird... I wonder where they crashed. Either a table or a chair

What a beautiful woman like you

Richy150:
That is your own limit of understanding

Or do you mean you CAN or CAN'T?

oyin44:
Was there any comfortable bed in the toilet? Certainly none.they were there to steal nothing less than that. You can't have sex without resting

That is your own limit of understanding

No wahala we go still read am again say the doctor don bust the shit up

Those people wey dey comment with short shorts words, thire Heart don break into pieces

sholarr12:
I'm sure it was hard for you to take.

Stop forming familiarity sir

computergeek:
Lol... You did not add mental health fees.


I'll keep saying it, everyone living in Lagos should keep a part of their earnings aside to take care of their mental health. Let's remove the inherent anger everybody there seems to foster and focus on the traffic. Traffic takes a new meaning in Lag.

I visited Lagos for two weeks during my NYSC and I've never gone back. How can someone leave her home at 4:30 am for an 8:00am job only to return at 10:00pm when they close at 6:00?

Èko ę ré

trippleKAY:
How can u date a girl for 5 years without sexing her Damn dude

That's what they called love, real love.

trippleKAY:
How can u date a girl for 5 years without sexing her Damn dude

Nah everybody go be like you? Sex addict

stupidity:
Exactly how I stupidly caused a breakup between two love birds.

When I was still in school, I’d plant a female slippers right out the door of my neighbor when I know he’s not around. His girl would come and think he’s inside banging and refused to open the door. (phone was still a rare commodity then) lol


Did it twice, the bae couldn’t take it and broke up with him.

Na only me know waten happen

Wicked soul. SMH

Boringdraw1:
Is sex food? Because the way all the above guys are describing men's bananas as if na food. Sex is overrated, nothing sweet inside.

You talking trash

Labe orun (inside life)

Who no like better thing?

Won jara won ni o

Enimo way lomowé

Oja ti je

NEIGHBOUR:
Happy birthday sir. However the OP should do the calculation again if he was born in 1962 and we are in 2019. Something is wrong somewhere.

Awon monitoring spirit

RichDad1:
So many big men and women are on this table.
EFCC should visit 1004 housing estate and see something.
The truth is those who are waiting to steal are more than those stealing presently.

Bodija, Ibadan?

She's saying rubbish, tell me if poor men can not inspire you? nonsense, ashewo

TheEffective:
Innocent kill you there

You should stop all this abusive words

2RUTHHURTS:
The one wey dey vex me pass Na "PENALITY" instead of Penalty

Which one is "PENALITY" bayi tori olohun?

Omo this Mike cap no be from here o

Aidejay:
Oya na let us kuku start the list from here
All Nigerian celebrities,
Instagrammers
Slay queens and slay Kings
Entire APC inner cacus
Every member of PDP
All former ministers and head of MDA's
All former state governor's
All traditional rulers
All university vice Chancellors
All lecturers
All customs and immigration officers at the airport
All police officers
All top military officers
All GO's and MOG's
All imams and head of Islamic organizations
All students in higher and lower institutions of learning

Wa gbayi jor

princemillla:
There is nothing as sweet as connecting to free wifi
The only thing that comes to ur mind is download download and download. Some will get away yes the OG's while some will mistakenly download their vilage problem via wifi those are the one Ops is talking about

Lol

coolfredo:
if de girl sue davido for damages n davido sue davido for damages too

I'm trying to get what you are saying

What's now the big deal if dem chat? you guys are just too funny at time [color=#770077][/color]

LearnITsmash:
Failed wack artist, you will soon sell that car

Bad Belle

Stevecovey:
Lie. Joro reached 1million in less than 2 days. You can check wizkidnews for the timelines.

And joro is not even a collaboration.

Joro weyrey wo len pariwo gan