₦airaland Forum

are u asking IBB or me?

IBB:
name 99 peeps and i'll believe you.

1. Osewa.

can you name the remaining 98?

Do you have to bring osewa into this?
so its true that u are a wierdo

cant u see that u didnt take corrections?
look at ur last post. did the last question end with a question mark?

aint u supposed to phrase that reply as a question ? Eh kendra?

thot u were talking to me. are u new?

Kendra:
why do you alwayz have to ask me that??

Are u talking to me?
Was i asking u?
have i seen u before?

Why does IBB think i am an illitrate _{like him?}

Hmmmmmmm. things are easier said than done!

GERMAN LESSONS


Dog: Barkenpantensniffer

Dog Catcher: Barkenpantensniffersnatcher

Dog Catcher’s Truck: Barkenpantensniffersnatcherwagen

Garage for Truck: Barkenpantensniffensnatcherwagenhaus

Truck Repairman:
Barkenpantensniffensnatcherwagenmechanikerwerker

Mechanic’s Union:
Barkenpantensniffensnatcherwagenmechanikerwerkerfeatherbeddengefixengruppe

Doctor: Chestergethumpenpulsentooker

Nurse: Chestergethumpenpulsentookerhelper

Hypodermic Needle:
Chestergethumpenpulsentookerhelperhurtensticker

Backside: Chestergethumpenpulsentookerhelperhurtenstickerstabbenplatz

Piano: Plinkenplankenplunkenbox

Pianist: Plinkenplankenplunkenboxgepounder

Piano Stool: Plinkenplankenplunkenboxgepounderspinnenseat

Piano Recital:
Plinkenplankenplunkenboxgepounderoffengeshowenspelle

Fathers at the Recital:
Plinkenplankenplunkenboxgepounderoffengeshowenspellensnoozengruppe

Mothers at the Recital:
Plinkenplankenplunkenboxgepounderoffengeshowenspellensnoozengruppenuppenwakers

Automobile: Honkenbrakenscreecher

Gasoline: Honkenbrakenscreecherzoomerjuicen

Driver: Honkenbrakenscreecherguidenschtunker

Auto Mechanic: Honkenbrakenscreecherknockengepingersputtergefixer

Repair Bill: Bankenrollergebustenuptottenliste





CHINESE LESSONS

Are you harboring a fugitive - Hu Yu Hai Ding

See me A.S.A.P. - Kum Hia Nao

Small Horse - Tai Ni Po Ni

Your price is too high - No Bai Dam Thing

Did you go to the beach - Wai Yu So Tan

I bumped into a coffee table - Ai Bang Mai Ni

I think you need a facelift - Chin Tu Fat

It’s very dark in here - Wai So Dim?

Has your flight been delayed? - Hao Long Wei Ting?

That was an unauthorized execution.- Lin Ching

I thought you were on a diet - Wai Yu Mun Ching?

This is a tow away zone. - No Pah King


You are not very bright - Yu So Dum

I got this for free - Ai No Pei

I am not guilty - Wai Hang Mi?

Please, stay a while longer - Wai Go Nao?

Our meeting was scheduled for next week - Wai Yu Kum Nao

They have arrived - Hia Dei Kum

Stay out of sight - Lei Lo

He’s cleaning his automobile - Wa Shing Ka

Does this bathroom stink! Hu Flung Dung?

mistake

Accountant - Someone who knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing.

Auditor - Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded.

Banker - The fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain. (Mark Twain)

Economist - An expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today.

Statistician - Someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality to be an accountant.

Actuary - Someone who brings a fake bomb on a plane, because that decreases the chances that there will be another bomb on the plane.

Programmer - Someone who solves a problem you didn’t know you had in a way you don’t understand.

Mathematician - A blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn’t there.

Lawyer - A person who writes a 10,000 word document and calls it a “brief.”

Psychologist - A man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room.

Schoolteacher - A disillusioned woman who used to think she liked children.

Consultant - Someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the time.

Diplomat - Someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

i was about to post this topic. didnt someone read my mind

poland

^{this game is kinda boring}





w

Cant y'all read english?

wembley



o

Panya






R

yes i tried it i started with history but cldnt write more that 300 pages. aint that poor?

c'mmon just give it a try
why not start with medicine, history and astronomy

he sure did not find it funny but he didnt reply. It just mae the students laugh

Zamfara






C

Do u think u are ready to have kids? Take this test

- Mess Test

Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer.

- Toy Test

Obtain a 55 gallon box of Legos (you may substitute roofing tacks if you wish). Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a blindfold and take off shoes. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream because this would wake a child at night.

- Grocery Store Test

Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them with you as you shop. Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage.

- Dressing Test

Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into a small net bag making sure that all the arms stay inside.

- Feeding Test

Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill halfway with water. Suspend from the ceiling with a cord. Start the jug swinging. Try to insert spoonfuls of soggy cereal into the mouth of the jug, while pretending to be an airplane. Now dump the contents of the jug on the floor.

- Night Test

Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with 8-12 pounds of sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. At 3:00pm, begin to waltz and hum with the bag until 9:00pm. Lay down your bag and set your alarm for 10:00pm. Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you have ever heard. Make up about a dozen more and sing these too until 4:00am. Set alarm for 5:00am. Get up and make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful.

- Ingenuity Test

Take an egg carton. Using a pair of scissors and pot of paint, turn it into an alligator. Now take a toilet paper tube and turn it into an attractive Christmas candle. Use only scotch tape and a piece of foil. Last, take a milk carton, a ping-pong ball, and an empty box of Cocoa Puffs. Make an exact replica of the Eiffel Tower.

- Automobile Test

Forget the BMW and buy a station wagon. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there. Get a dime. Stick it into the CD player. Take a family-size package of chocolate chip cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Run a rake along both side of the car. There, perfect!

- Physical Test (Women)

Obtain a large bean bag chair and attach it to the front of your clothes. Leave it there for 9 months. Then remove the beans. And try not to notice your closet full of clothes. You won’t be wearing them for a while.

- Physical Test (Men)

Go to the nearest drug store. Set your wallet on the counter. Ask the clerk to help himself. Now proceed to the nearest food store. Go to the head office and arrange for your paycheck to be directly deposited to the store. Purchase a newspaper. Go home and read it quietly for the last time.

- Final Assignment

Find a couple who already has a small child. Lecture them on how they can improve their discipline, patience, tolerance, and toilet training and child’s table manners. Suggest many ways they can improve. Emphasize to them that they should never allow their children to run wild. Enjoy this experience. It will be the last time you will have all the answers.

What if this were ur final college exams?




Instructions
Read each question carefully. Answer all questions. Time limit: 4 hours. Begin immediately.

History
Descrive the history of the papacy from its origins to the present day, concentrating especially but not exclusively, on it social, political, economic, religious, and philosophical impact on Europe, Asia, America and Africa. Be brief, concise, and specific.

Medicine
You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and a bottle of Scotch. Remove your appendix. Do not suture until your work has been inspected. You have fifteen minutes.

Public Speaking
2500 riot-crazed aboriginies are storming the classroom. Calm them. You may use any ancient language except Latin or Greek.

Biology
Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human culture if the form of life had developed 50 million years earlier, with special attention to its probable effect on the English parliamentary system. Prove your thesis.

Music
Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate and perform it with flute and drum. You will find a piano under your seat.

Psychology
Based on your knowledge of their works evaluate the emotional stability, degree of adjustment and repressed frustrations of each of the following: Alexander of Aphrodites, Ramses II, Gregory of Nicea, Hammurabi. Support your evaluation with quotations from each man’s work, making appropriate references. It is not necessary to translate.

Sociology
Estimate the sociological problems which might accompany the end of the world. Construct an experiment to test your theory.

Engineering
The dissassembled parts of a high-powered rifle have been placed on your desk. You will also find an instruction manual, printed in Swahili. In ten minutes a hungry Bengal tiger will be admitted to the room. Take whatever action you feel appropriate. Be prepared to justify your decision.

Economics
Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt. Trace the possible effects of your plan in the following areas. Cubism, the Donatist controversy, the wave theory of light. Outline a method for preventing these effects. Criticize this method from all possible points of view. Point out the deficiencies in your point of view, as demonstrated in you answer to the last question.

Political Science
There is a red telephone on the desk beside you. Start World War III. Report at length on it socio-political effects if any.

Epistemology
Take a postion for or against truth. Prove the validity of your postion.

Physics
Explain the nature of matter. Include in your answer an evaluation of the impact of the development of mathematics on science.

Astronomy
Define the universe. Give three examples.

General Knowledge
Describe in detail. Be objective and specific.

On the first day in my college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules.

“The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $25 the first time.”

He continued, “Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $50. Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $100. Are there any questions?”

At this point, i inquired:

“How much for a season pass?”

i am open to suggestions. do u have any?

are u willing to help me make it intresting?

Enugu





F

Now what has been going on since i left?

tanzania





Q

can all the aboneemarias raise their hands?

abeg help me ask am wetin that thing they do 4 my thread

this aboneema girl are u talking to me?