₦airaland Forum

eeeeeeeeeeeeewww. masturbation? do you,

A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the
weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his
back, and had nothing left but a quarter and
the second half of his round trip ticket -- If
he could just get to the airport he could get
himself home.

He went out to the front of the casino where
there was a cab waiting. He got in and explained
his situation to the cabbie. He promised to send
the driver money from home, he offered him his
credit card numbers, his drivers license number,
his address, etc. but to no avail. The cabbie
said, 'If you don't have fifteen dollars, get
the hell out of my cab!'

So the businessman was forced to hitchhike to the
airport and was barely in time to catch his
flight.

One year later the businessman, having worked
long and hard to regain his financial success,
returned to Vegas and this time he won big.
Feeling pretty good about himself, he went out to
the front of the casino to get a cab ride back to
the airport. Who should he see out there, at the
end of a long line of cabs, but his old buddy who
had refused to give him a ride when he was down
on his luck. The businessman thought for a moment
about how he could make the guy pay for his lack
of charity, and he hit on a plan.

The businessman got in the first cab in the line,
'How much for a ride to the airport?' he asked.
'Fifteen bucks,' came the reply. 'And how much
for you to give me a Mouth Gig on the way?'

'What?! Get the hell out of my cab.'

The businessman got into the back of each cab in
the long line and asked the same questions, with
the same result. When he got to his old friend at
the back of the line, he got in and asked 'How
much for a ride to the airport?'

The cabbie replied, 'fifteen bucks.' The
businessman said 'OK' and off they went.

As they drove slowly past the long line of cabs
the businessman gave a big smile and thumbs up
sign to each of the other drivers.

A farmer wanted to have his hens serviced, so he
went to the market looking for a rooster. He was
hoping he could get a special rooster - one that
could service all of his many hens and when he
told this to the market vendor, the vendor
replied: "I have just the rooster for you".
Randy here is the horniest rooster you will ever
see!"

So the farmer took Randy back to the farm. Before
setting him loose in the henhouse though, he gave
Randy a little pep talk. "Randy", he said,"I'm
counting on you to do your stuff". And without a
word, he strutted into the henhouse.

Randy was as fast as he was furious, mounting each
hen like a thunderbolt. There was much squawking
and many feathers flying, till Randy had finished
having his way with each hen.

But Randy didn't stop there, he went in to the
barn and mounted all the horses, one by one and
still at the same frantic pace.

Then he went to the pighouse, where he did the
same. The farmer, watching all of this with
disbelief, cried out "Stop, Randy, you'll kill
yourself". But Randy continued, seeking out each
farm animal in the same manner.

Well the next morning, the farmer looked out and
saw Randy lying there on his lawn. His legs were
up in the air, his eyes rolled back, and his long
tongue hanging out. A buzzard was already circling
above Randy.

The farmer walked up to Randy saying "Oh you poor
thing, look what you did, you've gone and killed
yourself. I warned you my little buddy". "Shhhhh"
Randy whispered, "The buzzard's getting closer"

Everybody who has a dog calls him "Rover" or
"Boy." I call mine Sex.

Now Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I
went to City Hall to renew his dog license, I
told the clerk I would like to have a license for
Sex. He said, "I'd like to have one, too." Then I
said, "But this is a dog!" He said he didn't care
what she looked like. Then I said, "But you don't
understand. I've had Sex since I was nine years
old." He said I must have been quite a kid.

When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I
took the dog with me. I told the motel clerk that
I wanted a room for my wife and me and a special
room for Sex. He said every room in the place was
for sex. I said, "You don't understand. Sex keeps
me awake at night!" The clerk said, "Me too."

One day I entered Sex in a contest, but before
the competition began, the dog ran away. Another
contestant asked me why I was just standing there
looking around. I told him I had planned to have
Sex in the contest. He told me I should have sold
my own tickets. "But you don't understand," I
said, "I had hoped to have Sex on TV." He called
me a show-off.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to
fight custody of the dog. I said, "Your honor, I
had Sex before I was married." The judge said,
"Me too." Then I told him that after I was
married, Sex left me. He said, "Me too."

Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours
looking around town for him. A cop came over
to me and asked, "What are you doing in this
alley at 4:00 in the morning?" I said, "I'm
looking for Sex."

My case comes up Friday.

shou outs to everyone who didnt shout out to me (cos nobody did)

not at all my sista.but how else will i get buzy with this site if not this?

did you notice that we are the only onwes in this thread?

One day when the teacher walked to the
black board, she noticed someone had
written the word 'penis' in tiny letters.
She turned around, scanned the class
looking for the guilty face. Finding
none, she quickly erased it, and began
her class. The next day she went into
the room, and she saw, in larger letters,
the word 'penis' again on the black
board. Again, she looked around in vain
for the culprit, but found none, so she
proceeded with the day's lesson. Every
morning, for about a week, she went into
the classroom and found the same
disgusting word written on the board,
each day's word, larger than the previous
day's word. Finally, one day, she walked
in, expecting to be greeted by the same
word on the board, but instead, found the
words: "The more you rub it, the bigger
it gets!"

d'you think this applies to you? why?

A man went to visit his friend and sees a strange
machine in the middle of his living room. He
asks, "What is that?" His friend replies, "It is
a sex machine." " Oh, how does it work?" " Just
stick your dick in, insert a quarter, and it will
jerk you off!" So the guy immediately wants to
try it. The friend says ok and tells him he is
going to get a drink of water from the kitchen
while he does his thing.

Suddenly the friend hears a loud shriek. He runs
back and asks, "What's the matter? Did you insert
a quarter?" The guy says, "I didn’t have a
quarter so I inserted a dime!"

"But for a dime, it only sharpens pencils!"
replies the friend.

and what makes someone intresting?

why do i keep thinking that u are intresting?

d'you think you are intresting?

are there still some intesting ppl here?

@j-girl, u aint even sure that blaze is female.
@blaze, wont u update ur profile?

@blaze,
@j-girl, didn't she just say that she is a heamophrodite?

hey blaze, are u male or female?

yes i would love to borrow ur lips how do i do that?

yes and thats why i dont seem to reply soon

@rhoda, do u know there are so many ppl in this thread trying to post?

Why wont some on let me post?

@blaze, why d'you think i am a girl?
!@rhoda, is that tre?, that u are insultive?

@ rhoda.Why do u keep telling ppl to shut up?

@ baby,are u just cumming?

Rhodalyn:
ghana has scored one against usa go ghana go ghana :d :d :d :d :d :d :d

is that supposed to be a question?,

cant you see that she thinks i am confused?

figure it out ur self

Rhodalyn:
don't U realise that guy is Confused??

why do u think i am confused?
@playboy, cant you see my reply?

yo mama so ugly, the orangutans are jealous
yo mama so fat, she wears two wrist watches cos she covers two time zones
yo mama so dumb, she brings 17 friends to a party cos a sign reads "no under 18's"
yo mama so fat,she hid behind mt everest and i still found her.
yo mama so nasty, she has to sneak up on her bath water
yo mama so fat, she got stuck in the bath tub.
yo mama so fat, her photograph says "P.T.O"

didnt someone ask 4 what "what" means?  isnt that what i am trying to anwer?

oh i i get the message

r_o_b_b_y:
isnt he talking to you?

is this what "what" means?