₦airaland Forum

Zahymaka:
To know how much of a Jackie fan I am, I converted everyone in my house to Jackie.

you nare not more of a fan than me zahymaka. i actually changed my first name to "jakie-chan", and u dont know half of what i know of him. i have 90 out of his 97 movies both the ones in english and those in his language {i.e, those he started his career with} (i am not kidding pls ). rigth now he has two movies in production (kung-fu panda and 90 mins); one movie undrgoing finalization (rob-b-hood) ; and the one they are still planing (rush hour 3) to be frleased in 2008. i am just waiting for them to be released so i can grab them for my collection. Whatch out y'all. i will be in the guiness world record for the best collection of jakie chan movies

I managed to get some pics with my digital camera. they were the best i could get.
i used a smoked transparent glass (included in the pics) to view it it served as a protection for my eye and for a better

what do ya think?

-can anyone please give me the price estimate of mother boards depending on there quality like pentium 3, p4, p6 etc
-i am serching for a nigerian ".biz" site. they sell computer parts and accesories and but i forgot the name of the site. need help pls

just want to save a movie clip and nice pictures from the web into my sd card

A man walks into a bank, and after waiting for 20
minutes in line, he goes straight to a customer
service representative and says, "hey, lady, I
got this here check for deposit and I'll be
goddamned if I am going to wait my ass on line
anymore."

"Please", says the woman. "I won't have that kind
of language in this bank." "Well excuse me, but
this fuckin' check ain't drawing any goddamned
interest with you yappin' away about my
language." "Sir, I don't have to take this abuse"
she says. "Well then let's get the fuckin'
manager okay? I mean what kind of shit is this
I have to take from you?"

The manager is summoned, and says "What seems to
be the problem?" The woman says, "This man is
using vulgar language and I won't stand for it."
The man says "Hey alls I'm trying to do in this
goddamned bank, for Christ's sake is deposit this
fuckin' check for 15 million dollars."

The manager looks at the check and then at the
man and says, "And this fuckin' bitch won't help
you?"

I don't know if its possible to download pictures into a digital camera from a computer. Must i have to buy a card reader?

A construction worker on the 3rd floor of a
building needs a handsaw so he sees another man
on the 1st floor. He yells down to him, but he
can't hear, so he does sign language. The man on
the 3rd floor does sign language. He points at
his eye meaning "I", points at his knee meaning
"need", and moves his hand back and forth in a
handsaw motion. The man on the 1st floor knods
his head, pulls down his pants, and starts
masturbating. The man on the 3rd floor gets so
angry he runs down to the 1st floor and says,
"What the Bleep is wrong with you dumbass? I said
I need handsaw!!"

The other guy says," I knew that, I was just
trying to tell you I'm coming."

If that the message, than this is the dumbest joke in this world

pls someone should explain the joke. i dont understand

Thanks badman for ur answer. these guys dont just know about how expensive a new pc costs. i think i can install xp on my pc. thanks

A couple was invited to a masked Halloween Party.
She got a terrible headache and told her husband
to go to the party alone. So he took his costume
and away he went. The wife, after sleeping for an
hour, awakened feeling much better so she decided
to go to the party. Since her husband didn't know
what her costume was, she thought she would have
some fun by watching him to see how he acted when
she was not with him. So she got to the party and
spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance
floor, dancing with every nice chick he could.
His wife sidled up to him and being a rather
seductive babe herself, he left his partner and
devoted his time to the new stuff that had just
arrived. She let him go as far as he wished;
naturally, since he was her husband. Finally he
whispered a little proposition in her ear and she
agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and
had a little bang. Just before unmasking at
midnight, she slipped away and went home and put
the costume away and got into bed, wondering what
kind of explanation he would make for his
behavior. She was sitting up reading when he came
home and asked what kind of a time he had. He
said, "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never
have a good time when you're not there." Then she
asked, "Did you dance much?" He replied, "I'll
tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I
got there, I met Pete, Don and Bill and some
other guys, so we went into the den and played
poker all evening. But I'll tell you, the guy I
loaned my costume to, sure had a real good time!"

ha autmn i think u shld just trust ur boy friend and enjoy the privillages of a nigerian man because they really know how to make a woman feel good. actually i picked intrest in jamicans recently (i like their way of life) so if you can hook me with some [both male and female. (but if u find females only, i dont mind)]. i wll really appreciate it.

i dont know weather its possible to erase a vcd or dvd disc. any ideas to help me?

Please fellas, i rhink iove got the slowest computer in the world. can anyone help me on what to the to enhance its speed? it is always crashing. do i need to buy any new hard ware? its a desk top ,pentium(2 or three i am not sure but i suspect 2) i need help, desperately

At a local circus under the bridge in lagos, a guy was entertaining a crowd with his monkey, then he asks that anyone who makes the monkey laugh recieves a price. if u can make it cry, another price awaits you and if you can make it run into its cage, u have a better price waiting.

So different guys came to try there luck but no body suceeded. Then came this akwa-ibom guy. He walked up to the monkey, whispered to it and the monkey began to laugh. He was higly applauded and got his prize. then the entertainer called for the people to make the monkey cry. all tried but the monkey didn't budge so this guy came again, whispered to the monkey and the monkey began to cry.
At this point i began to suspect the guy was using juju(voodoo) but i kept watching. Then the entertainer called for the last one. Once again, everyone that tried failed and once again this guy came out, whispered to the monkey and the monkey not only ran into its cage but shut the door, and the guy got his price.
I swore never to leave that guy till i get the secret, so i confronted him and asked if u used juju but he denied. Then i asked him what he told the monkey that made him laugh. The guy said (in his accent)"well i just tell am where i dey work" i asked where he worked and he said Nigerian Railway Co-operation
Ok what did u tell him that made him cry? "well i just tell am how much them they pay us so im start to cry" . Then what did u tell him to make him run into the cage? "well i no tell am much" he said, laughing. "please tell me"  and he replied, "well i just tell am say we get vacancy for the place , weather im go like to come work?"  

There were three men who were lost in the
forest. They were then captured by
cannibals. The cannibal king then told
the prisoners that they could live if
they pass the trial. First step of the
trial is to go to the forest with the
cannibals and get ten pieces of the same
kind of fruit.

So all three men went separate ways to
gather fruits.

The first one came back and said to the
king, "I brought ten apples."

The king then explains the trial to him.
You have to shove the fruits up your ass
without any expression on your face or
you'll be eaten. The first apple went
in, but on the second one he winced out
in pain, so the savages fell upon him and
devoured him.

The second one arrives and shows the king
his ten fruits were berries.

When the king explained the trial to him
he thought to himself that this should be
easy.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8,
on the ninth berry he suddenly burst out
in laughter. Summarily he was rended limb
from limb and eaten.

The first guy and the second guy met in
heaven. The first one asked, "Why did
you laugh, you almost got away with it?"
The second one replied, "I couldn't help
it, I looked up and saw that the third
guy coming with an armload of watermelons."

There was this little boy who was curious about
sex. So he went to his dad and asked him what a
vagina looked like. The dad says, "Well, son,
before sex, a vagina looks like a pink rose, with
velvety leaves and the aroma of perfume."

The boy asks well what about after sex Daddy?

The father replies, "After sex? Well son, have
you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise?"

Q. If your dog is barking at the back door and
your wife is yelling at the front door, who do
you let in first?

A. The dog of course, at least he'll shut up
after you let him in.

A prostitute walks into H & R Block to do her
taxes and a consultant starts typing her info into
the computer. Name, address, date of birth and so
on then he asks her what her occupation is.

She boldly stated "I'm a LovePeddler". He tells her
"lady, I can't put that in the computer you will
have to come up with something else." Well she
said "I don't know what to tell you I'm a LovePeddler."

"Listen lady you really have to come up with
something else or we can't go on." She thought
for a minute and said "OK, I'm a chicken farmer."

He replies, "Chicken farmer? What makes you think
you're a chicken farmer?" "Well," she says, "last
year I raised over 1,000 cocks"

;Dwhat d'ya think fellas?

A man was driving down the road in the country.
He looked over and saw a baby pig in the field.
He stopped and picked up the pig. He was driving
around town with the pig in the car and a cop
sees him and pulls him over. Cop says "Hey, What
are you doing with that pig in the car?", driver
says "Well, I just found the pig beside the road
in the field." Cop says, "I want you to take that
pig to the zoo!" The driver agrees he will take
the pig to the zoo. So the next day the cop sees
the guy driving around again and pulls him over.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I THOUGHT I TOLD
YOU TO TAKE THAT PIG TO THE ZOO!!" Reply,
"Well I did take the pig to the zoo. We had such
a good time we are going to the ball game now."

Hey guys, please i need help on aviation career opportuniteies (both in and out of nigeria), what are the qualifications, pay , age , please .

any one who tries this site will be thanking me always. i guarantee you will never see anything better on the web
www.arcadepod.com
    there are so many games there, in fact most of them are 3d but u need to dedicate 3 minuites to download macromedia shockwave (thats if u dont have the latest version).
  another great site (i dont know which is better{b/w this site and arcadepod}) is www.shockwave.com. in fact they have men -in- black (3d) .well thats just a tip of the ice berg.
you may mail me after trying them out . i still have many other ones but try these ones first

any one who tries this site will be thanking me always. i guarantee you will never see anything better on the web
www.arcadepod.com

point of correction hot angel its not naira. its dollars

please can u translate this for me>? thanx

"he threw me hard on the bed"[color=#770077][/color]