Outstrip:

There is nothing abnormal about it. Do you want to marry him and make his life and yours miserable? I have read interviews of two nigerian women in there 50's and 60's when asked why their marriage did not work out they said they were not ready to be anybody's wife. In my opinion it would have been better if they never married those men.
The other aspect of it depends on the kind of man you marry. Some men just cannot support their women. There are men that don't need their wives to be babysitters of them or a cook for them to feel like they are married. Please listen to yourself and even if it turns out to be a mistake you made the mistake by yourself not because someone pressured you to do it

Tell them

Agnesqueen:

My boyfriend and i had a discussion about this topic today while getting brunch after church and he seemed really cool about how i felt until he asked me" Whether i would still feel the same way about a family if i were engaged but waited until i was ready to get married.
I guess he didnt understand what i was trying to tell him so i just left the topic alone. I have a feeling that he is into getting married now than ever.

LOOOLLLLL Some guys could be pretty dense. lol thats soo funny

macfarland:

@ROSALLE
I believe that family is important and one top incomparable achievement people can make in life. Make no pretence about it girl! Things really do happen at d time they are destined to happen in our lives, your own time may not be mine time!

Well Im happy we're all able to share our opinions frankly. Family is a wonderful wonderful thing I agree there without a doubt, but the individual human being should be allowed to decide for himself what his or her 'incomparable achievement' in life is to be.
And if a girl chooses to be married at 20 or if she chooses to be married at 40, I think the smurkers and know-it-all's should leave her in peace.
Like you stated our 'times' are different and to me, even at 50, a persons time is their own time and not to be judged by others.

Its so interesting how the internet helps the shy and 'lacking in confidence' get a word out.
Half the men here siding with the poster, if you meet them in real life, they cant open their mouths to talk oh.
But its NL now, so they run off at the keyboard cos no one who knows them can cry fowl. Its soo funny

gadogado:

1) stable naira against the dollar, through out his 5 year reign, the naira did not drop in value by even a single kobo against the US dollar
2) vision 2010, many may not know the work that committee did but it was extremely progressive but he didnt live to implement the vision 2010 report.
3) security, you hardly heard of nonsense religious riots in any part of the country let alone militancy and boko haram rubbish
4) the economy was stable, there was no hyper inflation unlike the IBB regime.
5) nigeria cannot function in a democracy, we're too corrupt we need a benovelent dictator like abacha
6) Nigeria's territorial integrity was maintained, no ceding of land to cameroun or allowing foreign bodies to dictate the pace and direction of the country. abacha was an individual and a strong leader who could not be arm twisted by greedy westerners

And what about the common man who could not speak? What about the individuals that make up Nigeria. Cos all the things youve named here are the big picture. You're naming the economic factors. What about the simple man on the street who complained and got locked up? How about him?

oberon:

, Only in our Naija, and we like to call ourselves the gaint of africa,when we are infact the joke of africa

Such a huge joke, honestly. Its shameful.

Princek12:

Poster:
You are suffering from "not being appreciative of having it good and not counting God's blessings for giving you someone that wants to marry you." Maybe when you leave him and date a string of losers who only want to chop you without commitment, and you are growing old and lonely and can't find a comparable man to your current man who wants to wife you, and another woman has taken over your current man and bore his kids, then you will be appreciative if you ever find another good man again. And YOU MAY NEVER find another one as good as him.

Which one are you almost threatening the poor girl. You dont even know the person she's talking about and youre already almost assuring her she might never find someone like him again. Slow down. In life, there is not just one person for one person. There are at least 20 partners for one person out there and your marrying someone all depends on where you are in life and where they are. So dont make it seem like a girl must jump at every suitor she has.

agabaI23:

All these everybody must not have a family stuff girls are preaching with example are ridiculous. Go into the lives of those who do not have kids and they do not have any partners when they are above 40 and then come back tell us. Culture might affect some minds but it does not change nature forget about the society!

Well lets not forget loneliness is a pure human feeling and even married people get lonely. Theres nothing worse than being married and being lonely, so dont make it sound like those people who are unmarried and lonely at 40 have made false decisions in their lives. Children are a blessing but that doesnt mean those who dont have children are cursed. Its either not the time, or children are not for them. Simple. Sometimes, its not right until its right.

damola1:

It's very interesting to note a pattern, a girl can choose to live her life, and the man cannot do the same. If what you wrong up there were to come from a man, critism will arise, ha, you have used and dump her, ha, you are a bad man, so why go near her, when you know you don't want to marry her,
Anyways. I believe in one simple thing, life is all about choice, but never use fear to guide your decision, rather bravery, and hope to achieve your desires. Be yourself, that's the point, we are all wired differently, so I see no reason why anyone should be compared to any other person.

Theres no comparism being made. I gave the poster examples. And you said it, we're all wired differently so a person shouldnt feel pressured into doing things simply because theyre 'the norm'.
And about the pattern you say you noticed, Im not too sure it really applies.

macfarland:

@poster,
I guess you are a female between the ages of 18 and 23, have lived or mingled in a culture that is not yours, things going well with you and it likely you are also a pretty girl. You will agree with that 85% of other girls in your category feels same way too. Otherwise, when you will have reached like 27, 28, or 30years and probably have had good times and bad times of the intricacies invovled in jumping around with different men in the course of a relationship and tasting all the waters, you will definitely appreciate the fact that a man you love so much and have enjoyed good relationship with finally have asked for your hand in marriage! You are not ready for now marriage simple! Wondering what you are waiting for. All the same best of luck, a little wait you mght hit it off with a bigger boy, u never know!

Well Im 27 and I feel the exact same way as the poster. In fact at 23 I so felt like I was ready to do the whole marriage thing, but it left me after a while and right now, I want to travel the world and see places and people. I feel some people are just not cut out for the whole family-scene thing even if as a woman, she might love children.
My folks always say the most important thing for any human being is to have genuine friends and strive to be happy. So getting married shouldnt be the ultimate goal for anyone. Theres more to life.
Each person has their path to follow and its never the same as the other person's path.
@Poster, Ive got a friend who's 32 and she's a pediatrician too. She loves her job and as of today is not in any mood to talk about getting married. So its not abnormal. You might even wake up in 4 yrs and decide you are ready. Or you may never want to. Theres nothing abnormal about it.
In the meantime though, dont lead a man on. Let him off.

Same here. I mean minus 10 in wool?? No no. Id so freeze. Even with my beloved thermal wear, I still get to feel the cool on my hands and back. Its insulated daun/feather for me.

Ah I see. I did wonder about '10degrees' (didnt see the minus at all) cos I heard Chicago is quite cold.

lol, thats what I mean. If your winter is 11 or 7 degrees, a wool coat will keep you warm. But here in Switzerland, 11degrees is Autumn. And winter is minus 14degrees. So see why a wool coat wont do?

Ah I see. Most of the ladies who chose those trench coats must live in England. They all look soo Brit in colour and form
Im all for military style trenches cos theyre georgous and real ladylike for a night at the Opera or something - Ive got a red beauty , but thats all they are, trenches. The cold still gets to you.

oyinda.:

lol. those wool coats are what you call winter jackets? you guys must live in florida or miami. lol
I will prefer a very well insulated down jacket that's also very fashionable like the first pic. but usually those two factors don't go together. the fashionable ones won't keep u warm enough and the really insulated ones look plain. like those columbia jackets. very warm but blah looking.

LOL. Well thats why I kept quiet, cos they must have some 11degrees for winter to wear those. Theyre all real pretty, but theyre very Autumn.
For winter here in my part of Europe, you need the first Jacket, its Abercrombie and Fitch and the insulation is WOW - WARM. Its got a cape for my ears and forehead and so I'd be soo good to go.
To get through winter here, you cant always do fashionable and warm. So nr 1. is still the jacket for me. Though I'd rather have it as a coat, cos that jacket wont warm my knees

deezah:

[If you read my post well, which i doubt u did, you'll notice i wrote that we should cut out ethnic and religious bias and stand united against our oppressors, because they are using our adversity against us. These politicians in different parties still come together to think up ways to further impoverish us, most of them anyways, and we are the ones who ultimately suffer for it. I'm not against complaining on NL, hell no. All I want is for us not to turn against ourselves in the name of tribe, geo-political zones and religion. That's all, dear.

Well actually I DID read your post, and so I started by telling you I got the gist of it, and if you went back to read it, you'd understand my reply better.

nuzo:

The dude I was addressing knows exactly what am talking about.
But if you must understand what is happening around here, then pay more attention by reading through posts carefully and with an open mind.

Well actually you inserted a comment I made and then inserted his, thats why I asked!

deezah:

Why are we all at each other's throats over this issue? We all know that the PDP always gets what it wants, as long as we Nigerians don't speak up about injustices meted out to us. If we can't speak up, then we should shut up, or at least stop insulting each other here while they continue to enrich and empower themselves at the expense of our diversity. Why do we have to turn everything into an ethnic, tribal or religious issue? Don't we know that our so-called leaders feed off all of that? We're so not united and so can't speak up with one voice to fight these people out of power and claim what is rightfully ours. Just reading all these hate-messages make me sick.

If Mohammed wants to be the Gov. of Kano state, our complaints on NL won't stop him from achieving it, as long as he's still in the good books of the PDP and he has enough money to throw away to the impoverished ordinary man in Kano state, who are just looking for where their next meal will come from, because they know that they don't have any say at determining who leads them, whether it's a goat (as some people earlier adduced to) or a human being. PLEASE!

While I clearly see your point, please I beg, tell me where one is to speak up? Cos if you mean to protest, well then tell me if youve ever seen or participated in a protest march? Did you call people to join and they didnt?
I have. And so I find I have the right to blog on the rubbish going on in my country.
If you find theres something wrong with people complaining and doing nothing, then what are you doing on NL??

abhosts:

Mohammad Abacha's Political Fantasy will never see the light of day. Everyone seems to have forgotten that his father was behind the demise of The President's late brother.
Guess who's running the show in the party now? Remember the selection of Soludo?

Kai, in fact Nigerian politics has HISTORY. I completely forgot that you know? That is soo true.

nuzo:

Story don change because you just noticed he was in the hit squad that tortured one of your own.
Oh naija. . . we may never get it.

Im not quite sure your point is clear?

skfa1:

I know what this people are trying to do
Either
1 To help to turn back his dads name and image to be positive.
Even if he does this successfuly, i believe his dad is different from him and his dad still remains a BAD man.
or
2 To come back and steal more money.
I beleive babangida and co is behind all this, they need more stolen money this days.
May God help us.

There is no name to be cleared. That name stands for a lot, and it can never be anythign good.
It is number 2.
And by the way, Babangida doesnt have to be behind this. Those people have enough evil individually to go round for all.

fekwenugo2:

I don`t join issues with such people rather i join issues with the system dat gave him dat right.We as Nigerians heard how he had a torture room and all sorts of tools.We also heard how he had machines for printing cash which was delivered from the CBN.Bt did we speak up against Obasanjo during d plea deal ? Capital NO, We will still be here and worse tins will stil happen.Dats d agony Democracy or dem go krase can bring to d table.We need to strenghten our institutions 4 such tins nt 2 happen.But if rake from nairaland 2 Kano.Notin can change.

And thats where I dont agree. First youre talking in past-tense and I am speaking of NOW.
Nigerians are waking up to more awareness everyday. You sound like youve lived abroad for a WHILE, if not, you wont say people didnt shout when obasanjo gave him that pardon.
Second, your opinion whether online on NL or in your home should be same. You cant tell me youre being "objective" only online and if in real life you were presented with a situation were you ought to "rake", you would.
Thats talking out of both sides of your mouth.

fekwenugo2:

We have to careful to remember that Nigeria is operating a democracy.Emotions tend 2 stir up.
Reme Obasanjo in his wisdom granted the young man pardon 4 wat we knw as a plea deal.
The young man has not been convicted over any crime by any court, the system made it possible for him.
the INDIGENES of Kano have the right to vote for whom dey choose.Lets stop making comments out of wat waz said he was.`
I`m nt a supporter of wat evil that was done by his family. But lets be objective in our analysis. He ramains innocent and has the right to any office he so desires until convicted by a court of law not a court of public opinion which % is really nt coming from Kano state.

And I find we all tend to be very "objective" when we are not the one's suffering.
That bull about "innocent until proven guilty", Im sorry, I dont believe in it. It is intellectual gibberish and what really matters is: what a man soweth, that shall he reap.

Im not talking about the "evils his family perpertuated", Im talking about Him the M. Abacha. The people he tortured dont have voices because they dont have the money to fight and so he thinks he's untouchable and people like you are objective and advocate we all be objective because you sit on the side. You dont know how many families were destroyed by this mans actions.
If a man's actions are evil, then he too must be evil. You cant tell me otherwise.

Im sorry I cant be objective. Nigeria was covered in darkness the entire time he and his father ruled. And he will bring that darkness back, that is my point.
I dont care about what the people of kano want or not, cos theyre northerners and a good 70% of them will vote for a goat if they were given one. But Nigeria is my concern. The insult to nigerians. It is a slap on our faces cos no one could breath during the Abacha's' regime.
This is no democracy. It is a continuation of military rule.

Playboy*:

Is there any thing wrong in Abacha junior becoming the governor of kano state or even the president of nigeria,  the guy is  a good citizen of Nigeria who's father contributed tremendously to the growth and development of our country. 
The guy is young, dynamic, humble, visionary  and passionate about our nation, even after all that was done to the Abachas, he still had the courage to contribute politicaly to our nation, it is a highly welcomed development.

I dont ususally abuse people oh, but SIR, watch it. Be careful.
Because this nonsence youre saying, in any normal country can land you in jail.

Nigeria we hail thee.
With the amount of mad people rulling that country, its a huge surprise our neighbours havent closed their borders to us out of fear.  HOW is it possible??
Wasnt this the Abacha's son who tortured them Diya and co. Please remind me somebody??
They had a name for him now. He was his fathers right-hand-jailer.
What is going on. Is there no one anymore in our society whom we can call an elder??
Is no one shouting FOWL openely??
I wonder where we're headed. Ive soo tried to believe in a Nigeria of the future, but things like this make it hard.
Anyhow sha, sebi they say the hours before dawn are the darkest. All the abachas and babaginda's of that country will have to come out to expose themselves, otherwise we'd never have a "new tomorrow".
So they can carry on. I think they'l end up judging themselves and eventually sweeping themselves out.

KnowAll:

When a wise man engages an idiot in a tussle, innocent by-standers will not know who the wiser one is and who the idiot is, so in order avoid tainting both parties with the same brush one should avoid using vile and atrocious languages.

POSAKOSA1:

The saying goes "never argue with a fool in public because people passing by are unlikely to know the difference."

Actuall "the saying" is in soo many languages, if you translated it literarily eachtime, it'l sound different. The yoruba's says "one shouldnt not be caught quarelling with a mad man, cos passersby wont be able to tell the difference.
Theyre all the same at  the end of the day, just said differently.

@Mamagee: that IS the Jacket oh. Get the coat of it and youre soo good to go for winter. Especially this one we're having in the middle of october.

vislabraye:

The root of these argument is " who is the superio gender", war of the sexes. I hope there are no lesbians in our midst . When you start hearing arguments against men, i suspect lesbianism is breeding.
If you are a lady who will not marry a nigerian man, raise up your hands,

Ehen. Theyve come again. Some of you seem to walk around and drop comments without checking the title of the thread.

No one can be better, because no one has the capacity to stand alone. Its a 'partner affair'.
But leave here sha if youre not contributing to the thread, 'ON' the thread.

martinosi:

Oh well on the average out of the three groups sp to speak
African Ameerican, West Indian (black Caribbean) & Nigerian
The Nigerians are more likely to marry and not cheat on their wives.
Marry and stay married
Marry and raise their kids
Get a degree , then a job or business and marry
Marry have kids and even be a parent to their brothers kids
So i guess the flirters are in the Minority among Nigerians!!!

Ver nicely said. And very true when looked at from that angle.
But sha, I have to say oh, the flirters are not the minority among nigerian men oh. More like 60%

The Sly:

Shud up!. . . . .
Your 15mins fame is over.
Bloody moronic cum bucket!!
Useless product of a deformed, leprous hag!

Did you just read a dictionary titled : "How best to embarrass and expose myself online"? Or why are you howling like a woman on crack?
Ive said it before, you can "out" here. You sound like a transversite or a crossdresser.

archangel1:

there is no yard stick to measure the worst and the best posters.everything contributed here is very important in its capacity and objective.

Oh but OFFCOURSE.
Come back after youve met wale.star, and the rest of them, se you hear?

netotse:

ok, now i see why u said most naija men weren't raised well

Yes. I own up to my mistakes!

The Sly:


I have met dumb peops on this forum but your imbecilic retarded attitude is unequalled. . .
Where the fhuck did i mention anything related to Eve or some B.S snakes here?
I guess your problem stems from your ability to think with your butt-hole.
If you have nothing to say. . . .

Oh Im sorry that was na2day? He said that about eve and cheating. But you both talk the same kind of rubbish, so I figured I had the name typed in right.

All the same anyhow, you DO sound like a woman on crack, and you just prooved it. Or maybe a transversite? Or a crossdresser? You sha are more in-tune with your female side than masculine. You talk A LOT. And most of it is rubbish

pc guru:

Poster how old are you.Sound like 14year old cousin.As for true love there's no such.Grow up and smell the coffee.Life is not fantasy like in your mills and booms stuff.

What is Mills and booms? Is that a new word or slang Im missing?

saintneo:

why dont every girl be like Ex-Gov Palin?
she is super mom, intelligent woman, a presidential material, a free woman,
still lookin 4 more qualities,
will be back soon,

Auh, what do you know a super mom is?

lawisong:

Now enough of this madness. Lets face the fact so that we all can see what the originator of this funny thread actually wants. What you are actually crazy over is his wealth. Unfortunately your name is not in the guy's will so nothing for you. Michael Schuma ko Michael Jackson ni.

Come oh. See beef. Haba allow a woman fantasize joh. Abi you havnt heard wealth makes a man look sexy?
Im not a Schummi fan cos I think he looks local, but wealth always ( 90%) makes a normalo look hot.
Better go and make money and stop beefing the babe jare.

Ebonyeyes:

UhUHuH Not my cup of tea. I will take Tyrese anyday

Hear hear babes. I'l prefer me some smooth chocolate anyday.

@Ms. Poster. Doh oh. But Schumancher and cute?? I dont know oh. He's just another white guy and for his looks, you wont even know he earns as much as he does. What a waste!

Ebonyeyes:

UhUhUhUh girl you done open a can of worms here. I predict "gold-digging and materialistic" accusations in a few minutes time

In fact Im waiting for the barrage lol. They'l soon start with her lol

Agnesqueen:

Seriously you guys are talking about something else entirely

LOOLL. Looks like youre new here. Thats what people do once a thread goes past page 3. They flirt and then take over like a whole page on basically no-talk. Relax. We might be online, but these are still nigerians!

In fact ehn. I dont know where this matter will be tackled from because african women work too hard. Its only in africa you hear a woman was deserted by her husband with 6 children and she will educate all of them.
It is something to be proud of, but it is WRONG. Its is worrying that with us, the woman is the bread winner and still the slave.
Its like that even with the best marriages. The man may loose his job and wont feel pressured - intentionally or not, because he knows he has a hard working wife. He knows she will never sit at home whilst her childrens school fees is pending.
Tomorrow she will be blamed if a car hit him when he crossed the road without looking.

Meanwhile these men, when they have expensive, demanding wives, they always make money. Check it. Men with gold-digger wives always have money because they know the minute they run dry, the woman will find another man. And theres nothgin men fear more than that. Its strange oh.
Ladies we have work oh. Bring up your male children well oh. This trend has to stop.

sweetpie23:

go to sexuality

LOOOOLLLLL    Looks like everyone has come across this dude and we all know what his interests are lol