aisha2:

Lucky you oh my sister. What cleared my eye was when someone i know was caught commiting fraud because her husband wanted a new car and she had collected so much loan from her office in thie1 yr courtship and 3 months marriage. i just saw myself because i was almost withdrawing my trustees money to give this guy oh

You wont kill me true LOOOOLLLLLLL. Oh my goodness. Ive never heard this type.
Her husband wanted to buy a car? He didnt know how to work with his hands? Some men are useless oh and once they see a woman who loves them, instead of being honest and saying they dont feel the same, they use you. Its sad.

stillwater:

Haven't you heard continuously how a man changes after putting a ring on your finger? They do heaven and earth while dating, after marriage. . .

LOL. My mum says a mans respect for you drops 80% after he has seen you naked and 20% after he has married you. So you had better have a reserve to who you are (when he talks, you talk back if you were not doing it before to show him if he has changed, so have you) after marriage, otherwise your man is out the house. lol

Princek12:

You are right that people do change after they get married, which is very unfortunate for the suffering spouse; but there are lots of times when you know that your spouse is a jerk but go ahead and marry him out of desperation.

Men I almost made that mistake oh walahi let me not lie. The guy was a jerk and I knew it, but I thought he just had tryign times and needed me to stand  by him. Chei, I was foolish oh. But thanks to The Lord,I was also praying and my prayer was heard. So life split us

aisha2:

a guy i refused to marry because he asked me to resign my job and take a post as a primary school teacher and also gave me a condition to get pregnant before the wedding,because he wanted a wman he could control according to him. i sent him parking. Another was almost always taking money from me, he always had something he needed to do and always had business that was not clicking. At both times i had to sit and tell myself the truth that those men would make lousy husbands.
Like someone says life is about finding happiness, if being married will not make me happy, why bother.
I know its hard being alone sometimes but it harder being with someone and being alone at the same time.

LOL. Youre crackign me up I swear. My dear, I thought I was the only one oh. After this experience which I related to my mum later on (I dindt tell her I was giving him money when we were dating), she yelled at me oh. Telling me that whatever happens, I must never give a man money because initially you feel youre helping your man, but men dont know how to appreciate women who give. You must demand he be a man, otherwise he will use you to wipe the floor. Until today, the monkey never paid me back oh lol. Kai, the thigns we do in the name of love. Chei. LOL

Im happy a few people women are begining to think of this marriage thing like I am. I thank God for the kind of family I have. They are my friends and my father will rather see his daughters with Phd's than useless husbands, because he always said as long as you can feed yourself and you have real friends, life is good and you will be happy. Which is why he sent us to school, so we can eventually feed ourselves and not depend on men to do it.
And at the end of the day, isnt the pursuit of happiness the highest a human being can aim for?

semid4lyfe:

Obama hasn't done anything to deserve the award but Congrats to him anyway.

I concur!

fishaboi:

@Mzumbo: going by your illogic, contributing to peace in a part of the world (i.e within a country) is not the same as contributing to world peace abi?

Ase help me ask the man oh!

MUZBO:

Well Miss informed lady (pun intended), its one thing to be informed and another to understand how things work. Isn't it apparent that your list of domestic troubleshooters don't have that international appeal to earn a Nobel? Your actions must have world wide implications on peace to be noticed! Who cares if Columbians are at war with themselves so long as it is within their borders. School me now!

Well Mr-Im-uninformed (no pun intended) read the papers and come back. Then you'l be ready to talk with my kind ok?
Ive said all I have to say and jumping into a conversation with an uninformed character isnt worth it. Sorry.

aisha2:

It starts from little things. We train our boys not to take responsibility, the girl is always made over responsible in the house hold. The man grows not to value the female and goes further to blame her for his woes, women in society dont help as they join in blaming women for everything under the sun. A man cheats we find a way to blame his wife, its either she is not giving him sex or she is is scruffy, yet if a woman cheats we crucify her and an never blame the wife, then it graduates, when man makes stupid choices without listening to his wife, we blame her, a man beats his wife we blame her, we say she was nagging, a man steals public funds we balme the wife, it goes on and on

When a couples children mess up in life, they are "her children", when they are successful they are the man's children.
For me oh, and I know some of you may disagree, it is the womans fault. Because we cry where we should talk and talk when we should be quiet.
The poster spoke of the woman who took her man back after al the nonsence he had done. As a wife, fine there are somethings you do etc. And one of them is being there for your husband etc. But these days, men of today are no longer being raised as men. And again, unfortunately this is womans fault. Boys are raised to believe they are worth more than their sisters and so on.
Women bring up their male children to be useless. Thats the truth.
We need to take care of our corners and do out bits. You who are mothers today, break the trend and make your boy children more responsible, otherwise you are planting the seed in him that'l tomorrow be another womans headache.

MUZBO:

Lemme make it easy 4 u; name one half a person that deserves the prize apart from Obama.
Ever heard of Mohammed El badei or something? - of course you haven't! He won it last year or 2 years ago. Even I deserve the prize for not letting my friend beat up his in-laws but who saw that? Only people in influential positions would easily get nominations.

Yes my friend, we all recieved the Prize with El-Baradei. He's the head of the IAEA and because of his exceptional efforts in talks with Iran and the inspections carried out by the Organisation he headed, he contributed in making sure the tension between Iran and the US never escalated.
Bush the war monger was more than ready to attack Iran and without the efforts of the IAEA and its director general, he would have suceeded. But due to their hard work, he never got reason to.
Dont think your being an illeterate makes everyone one.

I should name a few people who deserved it more? :
Colombian senator Piedad Cordoba who has campaigned for a peaceful solution to the almost 50-year-old conflict in her country, and Afghan doctor and women's rights activist Sima Samar are people who's hard work for peace cannot be over-looked.
Ghandi till today has never recieved the Prize and everyone wanders why.
Dont come at me with world affairs my friend, cos Im more than informed!

xtremeidea:

e no make sense on what grounds? how has he promoted peace? this aint rite o!!!!!!!

He has promoted peace if you look at it. I mean since he came into office (just 9months now) the tension in the world towards the US has reduced drastically, which is really commendable.

But again, on the other hand, thats his job as president so I dont know why that should be such a special thing. And no one wins that prize for making the world like your country. Its just not enough

TEE ZERO:

Rosa: you are actually complaining.
You may take some time to read the citation on Obama by the Peace Prize committee.
He is definitely a man who wants everyone in the world to live respecting others' right to live. For that alone, he deserves the plume.
Even, an Hamas spokesman has just spoken on CNN that Obama deserves the award.
Rejoice with him, and wish him well.

I dont refute these things. Im just scared the world is looking for a kind of Messiah in that guy and he's just 1 man who can only achieve so much.
Obama is a wonderful character and has dreams and nobel visions the world hasnt heard a leader speak of in a while, and so there is this "bug" that bites everyone who looks at him or hears him speak.
But he hasnt "performed" yet. He's a wonderful talker and I think and believe he will achive a lot, but he hasnt "performed" yet. The world should allow the man breath. Give him space to work and stop heaping prizes on him he hasnt deserved.

There are many human-rights activists all over the world. There are people performing unbelieveable feats out there. Everyone wants to clap for Obama because he is the first black president.  Wanderful for him, but SO WHAT. After that, SO WHAT.
Theres much more to being a winner of this Peace Prize than being a half-cast who's father wasnt there when he was growing up. I have half-casts friends who had abscentee fathers too.
I like him as a person, but as a politician he is yet to achieve anything. Chicago is just another State in the US so I really cant be bothered about his achievements there.

The world should slow down on the guy. And thats why I said it seems the "Obama-bug" has gotten to Norway too.
I used to have a lot of respect for this Prize and the committee that does the selections, but I see right now any celebrity can win it.
I'd better go lobby!

The world should slow down. He's just one man. All these expectations on one persons shoulders?
I dont know what people do to earn the Nobel Peace Prize, but I think there were other known individuals who have done way more than him. Seems the "Obama bug" has gotten to Norway too. Not that Im complaining.

whitelexi:

Dont take it seriously, girls like to brag with their friends when they gossip. . . She probably feels the direct opposite but wouldn't want her friend to know she's lost so much control of her affections - She will wanna be seen as the one in control and not otherwise, in reality though, she probably worships u.
You can bring it up in a wry manner when she's screaming from the throes of ecstasy. . . and listen closely to her response, trust me she cant tell a lie at such a time.

Ehem. Oga I think youre misplacing something there. The poster is a man complaining of a woman, not a woman complaining about a man.
Women dont hide their feelings from their girlfriends and if we brag, we brag about the guys feelings for us, not about us not feeling anything for the man.
That thing youre talking about is the reaction of a man, not a woman!

Your question is a little contradictory.

eina:

guys how would you react when you hear these words come out from your girlfriends mouth? Do you think you can use money to change the fact that you are a crap and empty headed? Don't get me wrong, I have got my money but I wouldn't use it to get a girl. NO!!

You obviously DID use money to get the girl otherwise she wont be talking about you like that. Or at least if you didnt do it on purpose, she's with you for your doe

lol Well then stay tuned. Looks like the others have gone to bed. Thats the wack thing about this time zone business. Well, in a few hours, they'l be back up and cursing lol  since its what Nigerians do best

Somehow you men cant seem to fall for nice good simple girls. Im sure in your life somewhere theres one fine good girl who likes you, but you probably think she's not hard enough and so you go chasing this one who will eventually kill you. You sound confused, doh oh. lol. Better run

HIO4:

Another brouhaha breaking out on NL

I just thought the samething myself , its getting heated here man lol

yeancah007:

I think you are getting unecessarily sentimental here. .  .How can a woman 'allow' her man to cheat? Pleas don' get me wrong. . . .I'l never tolerate infidelity,but why would I avoid mariage becos Im scared my future husband will cheat. . . don't boyfriends cheat? The men dat cheat on their wives don't have in written on their faces before marriage,and from other posts here ,one can see there's very little a wife can do about it. . .so either I remain single for the rest of my life or I pray to have a faithful husband. . . but either way its outside my control. . . so get your facts right.

And you are refusing to read before replying. WHEN did I say I would avoid marriage madame? And WHEN did I advice anyone to?
I dont remember saying it at any point in any of my postings. I simply said I wont stay with a man who cheats on me. And I believe it is in my hands. So dont come and sound like all women are helpless if they date or marry men who cheat, just because you feel you would be helpless.

I asked that lady what the advantages of marriage were because she made it sound like being married was the ultimate and after marriage you as a woman sieze to exist and must take a mans bull simply because theres a ring on your finger. It is NOT the ultimate.
Let those who want to marry marry and those who feel they dont want to to be free. Its not like marriage gives you a pass to heaven, so theres nothing special about it. THAT my dear is my point.
So YOU get your facts straight.

Vavavoom:

^^^^^^Rosabelle and The blessed:
I am a man and while I agree that we live in a world where man has garnered all the undue advantages to himslef it still remains in the power of the other single woman to zip up and keep adultery in check.
Yes men are evil is a common creed amongst women but the solution isn't in shouting about a bad and evil sex it's in being proactive by zipping up and working for what one desires while keeping their self-esteem simultaneously!

And this is why I think people need to read before they write. If you read what I wrote, you wont write what you wrote, cos its written already!

Ive read a lot on NL and watched the news. Worldwide, there is this call for the empowerment of women.
I dont support this call, because in the first place, woman is not to be empowered. She is TO BE.
A palm tree for instance can never be an Iroko, though we know that doesnt make it worth less. Because the Iroko is only there for its beauty, we all know however what many blessings the palm tree carries.
If a woman stands tall and proud like God made her to, she wont need to be empowered by the same men she claims she is being surpressed by. Because in reality, man needs woman more that woman needs man! Yes, I said it.

Read around this NL for instance and see the things these men write about women. I cringe when I see them because I wonder. If a man is brought up by a woman, how is it possible for him to look at other women and disrespect them so. I think the answer lies in how many women carry themselves and carry on .

A nation who's men cannot look up to their women can never move forward. Yes I said NEVER.

Because the woman builds the nation. It is woman who carrys in her womb the child that will tomorrow be president and so if she doesnt bring that child up properly, woe betide her.

It is a woman who teaches her male child that he being a man is to protect the women around him, to see them as his partners and not servants. Why dont our women do this?
No woman is born for the pleasure of a man. She is born to testify to the Greatness of God.
Woman is in this so-called mans world to bring man closer to his Creator. She is the Light God sends to man, without which man is doomed.
If you doubt my words, ask your married male friends. A man who's wife doesnt support the work of his hands will never progress. Ask your friends. If a husband plans something and his wife is not in support, 90% of the time, that thign wont work. And the 2% that it works, it means his sisters are praying for him. That should tell us the power a woman has over man and creation. But woman has misused this power and instead of being what the Lord made her for, she has reduced herself to so much less, men look at her in disgust and talk the rubbish you read here and hear on the streets. Due to vanity and lack of selfdiscipline. It is wrong and it is sad.

We as women have to start to sit up and work harder. There are some of us who feel we are doing our part  already, good, but many havnt started. Many women dont even know who they are, and as a result, run from man to man in search of what she'l never find.
We must start to bring up our children different, because like it or not, the future, as did the past, lies in the hand of woman.

And for you men who find it so easy to beat down on women, caution. If you feel a woman has degraded herself, and as a result deserves no respect from you, you are wrong. For no man can be called a man if he cant respect woman!

And by the way: it IS a mans world. Dont get things twisted. This world is a mans world, but no man can live without a woman.
I mean, going back to this empowerment issue, who brings up the men who eventually try to surpress us? Isnt it women like us? How can a mother have four boys at home, and she alone does the house work? what kind of upbringing is that? Tomorrow now, those men will grow up and expect their pregnant wives to still sweep the floor because their mother did it. Do you se ewhat I mean?
WHo brings up a boy to think its alright to hit a woman? Where is a boys mother when he hits a girl? Isnt she supposed to throw firewood at his big stupid head? But mothers allow and condone such rubbish behaviour. Your boy child has finished eating and doens wash his plate. He will grow up to think it is a job only a woman should do.
WE WOMEN have it our hands. After all it is us who give birth , not men.

Theblessed:

Yes, yes, yes and yes my dear sister! Because African women are DISSEMPOWERED - to be independent women they should be coupled with, societal stigmatisation and name calling of women (both married/unmarried) when they go against what is considered 'societal norms'. For example, when a girl of certain age is not yet married, she is perceived in our culture as a failure thus lorry-loads of negative vocal/verbal abuses are rendered on her thus, demoralising her and damaging her confidence, self esteem etc as a result, anything with a privates that approaches her for a relationship would get her jump in with her head first without thoroughly investigations, only to regret later hence, the miserable circumstances most women find themselves in. Again, if you are married and happens to be unhappy to the extent of challenging the unfairness in your marriage, the same culture will perceive you as OKENWANYI, AKATA, NWANYI KA DI YA (Derogatory terms in Igbo please bear with me - I am really, really angry with this our unjust, unfair, evil and double standard of a culture!)

As you can see, these are strategies our men and society use in keeping women under their thumbs and thus, getting away with murder. It's about time we women should understand that these are weapon men use to undermine us and thus, focus on "SELF" for a change, instead of trying to please and please and please family and society to our own detriment and unhappiness. I understand, women are nurturing by nature but we are being used and abused because of our good hearts and we should wake up and act as selfishly as men. Why not?

If you are not happy in a relationship and wants to leave it but family objects, DO IT anyway, irrespective of what anyone else thinks because at the end of the day, it's you Human Rights to be happy. You deserve to be happy and are entitled to happiness just as the man chasing anything in skirt feels happy doing it. Why shouldn't you go and find your own happiness at the end of the day, whose life is it anyway?? Yours!!! And you are the one ACCOUNTABLE for it in the presence of God, no one else! People say its a man's world and women should do as they're told, I say it's a woman's world too and without us, it's damn miserable place for guys to live in and our God knew it when he pitied Adam's miserable loneliness, abi! What a loner he was without his woman!! Let me hear them again talk about a man's world and satan would have their ears one by one!lol!!!!!?

Here I disagree with you. It is not the men who do this to us, it is fellow women.
Check it. It is feloow women who gossip and run you down at every given opportunity and it is these same fellow women who are interested in when youre getting married or not.
It lies in the African womans hands (just like in everyother womans hands) to be independent without a man. The problem is, us women dont want it.
Who performs female circumcision? Who pushes a girl to look for husband? Who insults girl children who go to school to Phd level?? Is it not women like us?
Forget it oh. The men have NO ROLE in the disempowerment of the african woman as you called it.
This is OUR problem.

Theblessed:

Imagine, what we are all reading my dear brother!  Again I join you ask 'What the hell happened to faithfulness and the marriage vows'?  I wonder!  Let's just pray that God forgive these evils as the devil is in operation in peoples' lives because, they let him in,   But God can only forgive these evils if those participating in them are unaware of what they are doing however, all in it, knows exactly what they are doing therefore, it would not go unpunished in the eyes of God.  Its up to them, now! You see, that's why most marriages are miserable and in turmoil as well as those in them - very, very unhappy.  
To that may I ask these people, why get married only to be unhappy, why I still need their answers but they are too ashamed or too Hypocritical to give me an answer.  Well, it seems to me that, marriage these days is so unfortunate

I was just thinking the samething. Morality and decency have flown out the window. But, but,.it is not God who has to forgive them, it is a sin against their wives, and it is only their wives and those they hurt in the process who can forgive them.
And so if these cheating  fellows (men and women) dont apologise to those people they wronged, they end up miserable. We see it in Nigerian now.
I was home last christmas and I was shocked at the amount of married men out at joints and clubs without their wives. Im like: WHAT on earth are you doing at a club or party without your partner. Some of those I knew and asked simply smiled at me, and I saw it. A good 90% of the people getting married today get married for VARIOUS reasons. None of them having anything to do with love.
The woman wants to be called "Mrs" because her friends she went to school with have children and the men want people to know they have sperma that works. Finish.
Its sad. This downward progression is really sad.

bidemi12:

@Rosabelle are you trying to tell me that your child is already corrupted and you are not his/her model? what in Gods name are you teaching him/her? Are you getting my point now?

I will be my childrens role model, just as my parents are mine. But that isnt exactly the issue. I mean everyone on NL claims he or she isnt corrupt and yet we have such a government. Do you get my point? I can do my bit, but I am one person. And the youth of today are on a train running south-bound

bidemi12:

@Kaypinchi I submit that nothing can be done for now and the onus for the survival of our country is in the hands of our children. Why? 'cause they have not yet been tainted by the negativity. So teach them to understand what to do to save their future.

Which children? The children who grow up without role-models? The children who have grown up in a society where, to the greater part hard work is a waste of time? Or the children who have joined in internet fraud (so called yahoo yahoo)? Which children do you mean?

Nigeria is breeding a new generation of thieves and bandits, because these poor young intellingent children see no way out of their poverty. We barely have a government. These children see themselves as abandoned and so they carry on the fraudulent practices of those they see around them.
A nation, with 20% being wealthy, 10% middle class and and a good 70% in poverty, the suffering on the streets of nigeria is too much. The negativity and corruption has eaten deep into youngsters already, because they have no role-models. And a youth without role-models is a bleak feature for our country

otukpo:

Most Nigerian men i know cheat on their wives. I think its a societal problem. they think its boosts their ego.
But i have also heard some of them say that cheating on their wives does not mean they dont love their wives or that they are ready to leave their wives for the girl outside. No. They just do it for no reason. And most times, their male friends who are already in it influence them.

Yep. The one's I know who cheat wont discuss it with me or us their friends, but you can tell theres no obvious reason, otherthan a complex. He wants to have all because his selfesteem is low. And the decent guys now, the one's who think its ridiculous to go bed-hopping, people like mrpresident laugh at them. Its sooo strange, this decay.

MrPrsdent:

My advice to U:remain single
cos there is hardly a man alive who NEVER or will NEVER cheat on his wife at some point in time.

LOL. You cant advice me mr man, cos you dont have any morals. And your not having morals doesnt mean all men are like that. So I definitely wont be living my life by any book you write. Sorry, but I know many men with more selfworth and esteem than you. I know many men who's lives and time are worth way more than a roll in the hay with every available slut.

yeancah007:

Well if given the option between divorce & my man cheating,I'll definitely opt for the later. . .sad but true. . . .men get over it with time. . .either they get shamed or they can't get it up again. . . .just pray he protects himself, . . . but denying the obvious advantages of marriage cos of the fear of cheating,doesn't make sense to me.

And this is what Im talkign about. Women who blatantly allow their men to cheat because :'they will get tired'. If we dont demand more, we wont get more. And if your partner doesnt respect you enough to be faithful and reserve himself for you only, WHAT madame, is the obvious advantage of marriage. WHAT??
Because a person who isnt faithful is a steady liar. We all lie in one form or other, Im no hypocrite, but a man who cant discipline himself enough to understand marriage isnt kindergarten isnt worth it.
Again it all comes down to the question of how much you think of yourself. I dont care how lonely I may get, Im worth wayyyy too much to be with a man who cheats on me.

LOL. true

seunbballo:

@Johnnny, At least someone sees things from my own point of view. This is due to personal experience, once your own lady dey kampe and she dey do stuffs for and una dey catch youthful trips. Walahi, fear of cheating no go even dey una mind. I tell u after 3 and half yrs of marriage. Its still like we bfs and gfs. I dey bath her, we dey do hot streaming fore play 4 jaccuzi @ 5 star hotel during dec every yr. We dey go sporting, social and so much activities. All these can be achieved with or without children already. Its all about planning and dedication of the couples to enjoy their marital bliss not to diffuse it.
I don't know why some ladies can't seem to see this been possible on this thread rather its the cheating men dey talking abt. Ladies: do these things i have said so far from my postings and u will see the result. Declare who u are before marriage so that there wouldn't be excuses later.

No one is saying it doesnt happen or its not possible. You must however agree that there are men, just like there are women who just have bad characters. They may have all, be married to the 'person of their dreams' and still, for one reason or other, not beable to stay in one place.
There are very many well behaved men out there, I dont doubt it, but I know from experience that they are few. Just like the good women are few.
There was a time I believed there were more good people than bad in the world as a whole. I have changed my mind.
There are many who like to believe themselves to be decent and good, but their actions speak a different language. And a good man will not do bad things.

MrPrsdent:

U wish, tell me why women flock around the players? including U.
BTW,is your man not playing?
Am a confirmed player,so what woman U referring 2?

Oh we met, and you saw me 'flocking' with some players? Where? When? remind me please. duh!!
No my man is not playing, I dont have one

MrPrsdent:

My friend,you are living in dreamland.Let me break it down for you:
Either you play,or you get played

LOL. Kai, the internet is a beautiful thing for men like you isnt it. You be there talking crap cos you can stay anonymous. Its your type who cant talk when their women are near. Oh yes, the word for your type is: 'coward'.
See your mouth like either you play or get played. What in the hell kind of mind set is that.

Johnnny:

Sorry ma, I wont do it again Ma.

Thank you sir, Im grateful sir!

akintun:

The replies by ladies on this thread is hypocritical. It takes two to tangle. During my university education and my one year youth service, i noticed the large number of girls that date married men and this same girls would come and start accusing men of been promiscuous.

Ehn ehn. Oga. A hypocrite is someone who abuses others of doing what he hinself does.
I dont know how many of the girls here you know, but I doubt you and I have met in your married friends house. So please sir, PLEASE talk with caution. Cos you cant call anyone a hypocrite if you dont know how he or she behaves. I dont know how many of the girls from your youth service camp are here, so please. ok