loollllll

Riff-Raff:

Hi Nairalander,
A friend of mine is getting married. So i decided 2 do a reasearch on how to have a sucessful married life based on people's experience & opinion.
I'd appreciate it if u can provide tips on how 2 make one's marriage a sucess.

First of all, tell your friend NOT to take advice from blogging sites and 'other peoples experiences'.
No two people in this life have the same path to take and so on something like marriage, you can only open you ears but not take in all you hear.

tpia.:

women: be submissive and feminine. Always smell nice and never question your husband.
men: bring home the bacon and be manly.

I dont know who taught you that thing youre saying, but if you think thats how to have a 'happy marriage' then youre sooo wrong. Men need to be challenged and being 'submissive' to your husband means youre simply laying your bed for future unhappiness and eventually a lousy marriage.
As a married couple, you are to encourage eachother to grow, and men need a strong hand from when theyre children until they die.

It is a womans job to encourage her man to be the best he can be. When you 'submit' and not question his actions and rubbish behaviour, youre simply allowing his bad sides flourish and you raise a tyrant thats wrong. The man wont be happy with the person he becomes and he will later resent you for not challenging him enough. Ive seen many marriages where women 'submit ' to their men and it always ends with the man hating the woman for not being strong . Men need to be checked constantly and it is the wifes place to do that.
You must  respect your husband, but that submission talk is just wack!

tpia.:

very important
respect your in laws especially on the husband's side.
To a Nigerian man, disrespecting his people is a capital crime.

And so is it alright for the man not to respect his inlaws? or what do you mean by 'especially on your husbands side'? The man also has the duty to respect his wifes family. Marriage is a two way street. The woman is not the only one who has rules to follow.

SeanT21:

WOW~~He probably gives his girlfriend reasons to do that.
Why is she still with him if she knows of his cheating ways?

Well each man and their own. She knows he cheats and she accepts it and goes with it. For me, thats rubbish and unacceptable, but if the lady is fine with it, which one is your own? lol
Abi you want to take panadol for another womans headache?
I admire women like that when I meet them, cos its something I find to be madness and I wonder what makes them accept it. But we're all cut different.

finemocha:

clearly your friend is new to dating. y do chicks go to the toilet in pairs. who knows these things just learn to deal with it. or ignore it like most men

Im sorry but going for a date with your friends  has nothing to do with girls going to the bathroom in pairs.
If a girl is going to meet a guy for the first time, its highly rediculous and childish to take two friends along and expect the guy to take you seriously. How would she feel if he brought two of his friends along to check her out?
If its a security issue, then they should go along, but stay hidden

And this is how we women look for trouble. What if she gets there with her two friends and the guy starts to like one of them nko? lol

Yep. I think it works for some people.

r231:

4 a guy to go rent a flat cus of her dey must have said more than HI to each other so u probably right

I dont even believe that story of him getting a flat. I mean, what amount of sence does it make if he's never met her? Knowing how some guys think, he'd definitely want to have met her before making such a huge commitment. I mean, . . . .

No2Atheism:

@topic
The truth is that most people are suffering from western brainwashing and crowd mentality, hence most ladies and a few guys get so hung up on a so called "church wedding" merely based on the fact that others have done it and are doing it, and not really on any sound biblical or cultural or historical basis.
1. You do not need to go to church before you are considered married as far as the Creator is concerned.
2. You do not need the Pastor's blessing before you are married.
3. Being married has nothing to do with your Pastor.
4. Seeking Pastor's blessing is a sideeffect and symptom of the heresy brought into the church via the heretic church known as the Catholic Church.
5. Joseph and Mary did not go to church to get married.
6. I do not know of any passage in the bible that sanctions going to church for a so called wedding.
7. Being free and redeemed is not just a slogan, its a way of life, and hence it would do a lot of people a lot of good to actually question their actions and see whether it is biblical or not.
8. As far as I know, I have not seen anywhere in the bible that says people should get married in the church.
9. As far as I know, I have not seen anywhere in the bible that says people should seek Pastor's blessing during marriage.

All i know from the bible is that both families (parents to be exact) need to sanction the marriage otherwise as far as the bible precedents is concerned, the marriage is not really valid.

Oh yessir!

Kenny_G:

after all the advice i bet u guys my wages dat the girl will still pay her way up and get wat she deserves a gd **** and a broken heart

Dude, i was just thinking the same thing

You guys looll

Listen to the wurooo wuroo story: He has paid rent for a bigger house because of a girl he hasnt met and he wont go visit?
I mean. Girl if youre important enough for him to get a new house, then you should be important enough to him for him to come visit.
Sit down in Lagos and let him come visit you.

Well well well. Married life isnt just about having 'cute little kids'. If its that one, then my nephews are enough for me. Cos all five are super cute.
But am I looking forward to it? Not at the moment. I guess for each woman it depends on where she is in life, and Im at that place where I want to travel the world .  . . .see Equador and Sao Paolo . . . . . . . . . . maybe even get to Australia  and New Zealand (ask me what Im doing there oh lol).
I wasnt able to have all these dreams in my last relationship cos he was hurrying me through school so we could go back to naija and get married. With the relationship over, that stress (and my horrible ex-to-be-inlaws . . . . . . .kai, The Lord saved me oh ) are no longer any part of my daily routine. Im soo happy
Im fine at the moment, so no, Im not looking forward to getting married . . . . anytime soon!

vislabraye:

But if you decide to marry a man, i would advice that you don't carry that mindset of suspision into your matrimonial home.

True that!

looolll

r231:

yes we can be trusted.
at least wen men cheat you women always find out but on d other side if its women dat cheats dey take it to their grave men will neva find out

LOL. And can you see how youve almost opened a new topic?
Ask yourself, how come we women always find out when men cheat and when we cheat you guys dont?
Well its because the woman always ALWAYS takes out time to study her man if she loves him. And so she notices immediately when theres a shift in character, and she can pinpoint what caused this shift.
But you men, as long as the woman is good in bed, beautiful (somtimes), hot body for your friends to envy you over and as long as she can cook and bear children, you people dont look out for otherthings.
It happened to my friend and I told him that if he married a girl he claimed to love and was sleeping in the same bed with her for 14months and didnt know she was cheating on him, then he is to blame!
So that one is not an argument sir!

Pray and wait.
In cases like these tough, its better not to choose any of them. Many times, life brings you a stumbling block before the real deal. And if youre confused over six abi seven men, its not right, period!

LOOOLLL. . . .

sweetcoint:

read my lips MEN ARE NOT TO BE TRUSTED EXCEPT THE GOD FEARING ONCE

Thats like one of the most rediculous things Ive ever read on this Nairaland!

Druss:

Women scare me sometimes walahi!! Honestly no wonder some men are insecure.
This woman had a long term boyfriend who was in the uk. They had been dating long time.
Now another guy comes into the picture - and the lady who already had a boyfriend wants to date this one!! Because he wants to marry her?
JISOS - WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS WOMAN? She put herself in this mess - She should get herself out of this! Shebi it was sweet when she was playing two men!

HM! Did you read the post at all? lol
She wasnt dating the guy in london. Theyve been talking. Its not yet a relationship. And theres no way anyone will me the guy in london isnt seeing someone there!

bluntpis:

How do we rise wen these old brains refuse 2 step down.

Well if you think theyre going to 'step down' for you to 'rise', then you dont get the concept of 'claiming nigeria back'.
Thats the point. They wont step down, so you have to make them do the right thing whilst theyre in place.

Depends. On the spot, most people might say the mother knows her son best, but depending on the people involved and the various situations you see that it might be a 50 / 50 thing.
A mother might think she knows her son, but because she's a mother, she might not be objective enough about his good sides and his faults. And so I think theres no clear-cut line.

kemisuga:

@ POSAKOSA - U are really hurt, Sorry. But why wish death for a fellow humanbeing. When God even said we should pray for our enemies and wish them long life.
@ Poster - Memories can never be erased/forgotten.

Im sorry, but I disagree. Lots of memories can be erased and forgotten. Sometimes somethings might trigger a memory long "lost" and then one see's the miracle of the human brain, but somethings,a person actually "gets rid of" and nothign can bring them back. Because the human brain is powered by the human spirit and so it all lies with
what kidn of person you are inside.

Im talking from experience, cos I had an experience I thought would kill me and I thought I'd never forget.
A year ago, I met him -   the ex now 5yrs after and I stood beside him for a good 22minutes on the queue at an airport
and didnt know. YES. It is possible. He was soo shocked, he didnt say anything, cos he slowly realised I didnt recognise him.
When eventually he spoke to me, I didnt know who he was. Cos he had changed and I was completely thrown off.
We talked from there until we got where we were going  - about life etc. And even after we had parted, non of the old memories could be refreshed by me. Of all the things he asked me if I remembered about us I could only remember his dog's name (seriously) because it was a beautiful dog.
It made me myself wonder how I could forget soo easily, but I realised that I have been through soooo much more since the time he hurt me.
Ive been happy and Ive cried, my house caught fire, my nephews were born and Ive been to places and Ive met soo many people. My feet have expanded and contracted through the years (I used to be size 40, Im now size 38). . . . .Basically, I had moved on.
Other things have taken up that space.
So please, dont think youre a prisoner to your experiences. Experiences are there to teach us lessons, not to mare us for the rest of our lives.
If you say you cant forget, then its a thing with you and you not being able to let go, but its not general.

OvieE:

Who else?

Im wondering why youre asking me this question cos I never said I chose anyone for money. I stated that its where most womens problem comes in. The long-throat factor.
You dont have to preach to me sir. Im fine as I am and I dont need money from anyone, so I wont be getting confused if I had to pick a suitor

OvieE:

Thank you.

If you think of money before commiting, you will never find happiness in life. Don't you see what money done to our belove country Nigeria. Happiness and love comes before money. What happen if you have the money you are looking for but no happiness in you relationship?

Was that question rhetoric? Or are you directing it at me?

LOLLLL.
I dont think the answer is hard. Ive come to learn that in life, no two people have the same path. She's the only one who can answer this question for herself, cos she alone knows both men. She should go and pray and stop saying she's confused.
When it comes to men, we women always know what we want. The confusion usually comes in only when the one we want doesnt have as much money as the other one and we're doing long-throat!

boring!

I generalised. Sure I know there are people who dont go round abusing. But one day in lagos traffic will tell you what I mean

proudly9ja:

aisha2 and rosabelle, Il advice you stop responding to him. (or her). It only brings you down to his level.
Its either of two things,
1. Either he has a bad experience from someone who owned an NGO or
2. He secretly admires you and finds it out to come out straight

will do

proudly9ja:

Prove it by not replying to any of her posts for at least 3 days!

 

Ah. In this life . . . . .their type, ive met them plenty! lol

ochukoccna:

No I believe he's related to Hitler 
On a more serious note, the above rationalization for asunaobi's post i.e. on tithing or not will be better suited for the religious section of Nairaland. Yet one most not be blind to the fact that there are to many charlatans masquerading as 'men of God' in 9ja and that the Christians who worship there do so willingly seeing they have itchy ears that cringe @ sound doctrine and need 'men of God' who will validate their lifestyles which are contrary to God's Word. Do a biblical check and see how many 'men of God' brought revival to Israel before Christ came? Just one John the Baptist. Yet with all the men of God 9ja has, we keep sliding down developmental human indexes. What a shame. Though they are enough true ones who don't call a spade an agricultural implement

Well about taxing the churches. For me, I raised it because Ive noticed Nigerians have developed a very lazy trend and mindset of "God de" and this belief came from economic poverty and has been encouraged and fanned into blossom by the churches . . . , offcourse for their own benefit.
I feel its a different art of 419.

I find the nation cannot move forward if you dont bring the people to understand they deserve better. People must generally be educated into understanding that they have the right to be handled as human beings.
This change we speak of cannot come if the people on the street dont understand what it is they ought to be fighting for. And hunger has soo beaten those people, they really just want to find the next meal.

We cannot be singing "praise the Lord" when NEPA comes. It shows the depth a man has been pushed to , when he doesnt even know a thing as simple as having electricity has nothing to do with whether or not you go to church or mosque.
Thats what I mean. The mass population also has to know it has a right to a voice. Not God de.
And you cant educate these people properly, if on sunday Father of Pastor says we should "pray all will be well with Nigeria"!

aisha2:

You wan kill me with laugh. They have a ready response for you. With a lot of high sounding words, i assure you

Ah lol . . . I know now. Is it not this NL. lol

Goodness knows. In Nigeria and in the world in general, there are two types of people.
1. Those who do the do : They see a problem and start working on how to fix it. They MOVE instead of grumbling and they solve problems as they encounter them. They Move. We have an example here, and her name is aisha2 . . . to name a few

2. Then you have the second group : In very simple terms, chaired on this thread by : Mr Kobojunkie and Mr Posakosa1. These type are multiplying around the world. They are the one's who stand in the way of the doers and tell them :"I say you cannot".
Then they go into looonnnnggggg throries of why you cannot. They exhaust you with their shortsightedness and weary reasoning. They go into theories and counter - theories. They jump to false conclusions and want to force them down your throat at all costs. They tell you, even before you have begun, why you will nto be sucessful.
And then when you the listener are tired and have finaly given into their persuasive arguements of why you should give up even before you start, they pounce on you and call you names for deciding to still hold on to your own logic. . . . .because they see they cant bring you down . . . inspite of their arguments.

It is the logic of a mad man. And there is no explanation for it.

Your high-sounding words and lying comments (oh yes YOU MR KOBOJUNKIE)  . . . . . .watch it.For your sanity and those you will come across in life.
Cos if youre like this on an online thread, then the people in your vicinity in real life have a lot to fear . ,   . . for their lives!