bebrief:

I wonder what the world has turned into. No guidance, no values, They even have no reverence for the Bible.

Bro, this is not the religion section. But I'l answer you.
Im tired of people using their books of faith to shut people up, especially when they misquote (I didnt say you did) from them.

If the Bible is Holy to you, fine, but I doubt anyone's values or guidance can be judged by YOUR book of faith.
After all if it were so, Nigeria would be paradise, considering how many churches we have and how many of them call the Bible 'Holy' and dont go by a SINGLE word of it.
All those thieves in Senate and in government should be saints since they too read the Bible and Quaran.

Everytime a Nigerian runs out of arguments, he tries to shut his competitor up with words from the Bible or Quaran, quoting them as Holy word. But he only remembers these 'Holy words' when he pleases, and doesnt use these words to check his own behaviour!
Please lets leave faith and books of faith out of this.

stillwater:

I know your type. The type that use the bible to soothe your ingrained evil ways. You better change.

Se you know.

Wait oh Poster. . . . please tell me your grief. What is wrong with a woman deciding to bear her father's name into marriage? As long as her children bear only their father's (her husband's) name, where is the problem?

We live in times where women no longer marry at 20. And so a girl is known for 25 yrs of her life as Nike Sola, if she married Tunji Debo and bore Nike Debo, non of her friends or people who used to know her as Nike S[b][/b]ola  would know just from seeing her name.
However, Nike Sola-Debo would make more sense.
Women are now achievers and we recognise that we 'come from somewhere'.

You men need to stop this whole 'wanting to own a woman completely'. Thats what makes women go on this whole 'independent woman' trip.
If a woman says she loves you and agrees to marry you, please, what and where is the problem with her carrying her father's name along.
Slow down now

mohawkchic:

[size=13pt]~You & a million chics out there  
~I dont think it will be the same in any other movie/Series he stars in. . The Scofield character is wrapped in all our heads i suppose. . begs the question is he on any other series/movie out this year/next? [/size]

No he wont be the same. And thats what really makes me sad . . . . Micheal Scofield has gone from us for good lol

But he stared in Law and Order SVU on the 23rd of September,  . . .the premier for the 11th season . . . He was super cool. A snob cop. Look it up.

@upuphim. . . . .that thing youre advising her to do, you should only advice if you know the situation and you see it as harmless. This situation cant be harmless.
Did you read what wrote? Its more serious than a few words of peace oh my friend. The woman constantly invades her privacy and wont let the young lady into her own house proper (kitchen for example) and youre advicing her to sit the woman down and talk to her? ? ? Im sorry, but I dont dig it. The woman doesnt wish her well, finish. Theres somethign fishy going on, and this is the life of a child at stake . . . .she needs to flee. Not out of fear, but out of caution. The world is dark!!!

My dear you cant be confused oh. No body has a right walking into your bedroom. Thats your inner sanctum. You and your husband sleep there, plus your baby. Youre the woman, you should protect your home. From the sound of this woman, she's up to no good if she always wants to know whats happening with you and doesnt allow you go past her living room . . . . She's up to no good.

If you openely confront her, it might get ugly. Pray and move out. Inbetween, avoid her at all costs. LOCK YOUR DOOR!
Pray oh my dear. The Lord Almighty has given you a child and you are to see to his wellbeing, spiritually and physically. This woman is up to no good. Dont explain anything to her. Keep her quiet and avoid her, cos if she's diabolical and you confront her, you are at risk. If on the other hand, you pray and work in silence (please move out), she wont know what youre up to , and thats what you need right now.
I wish you well

POSAKOSA1:

[/color]
Nigerian men should also not go around promising women marriage, when they darn know that they aint ready to get married.
Proposing, introducing the girl to your family members then <waking up one morning and saying "sorry btich" I found someone else------ now that to me is pure wickedness.
[color=#990000]If u're NOT SURE, don't lead her on.

Ehen. Doh. Welcome sir.
Please sir, dont change the thread koh? Your point is good and well recieved, but the thread is titled : 'what you hate most about naija ladies', not :'should I tell her its over'.
The poster is seeking help; if you read previous comments on the thread, you'l see he's from a broken home and obviously has problems with the opposite sex. Now I dont know if he'l come out and let us know he has decided to date men or be homosexual . . . we're all waiting to hear.
As it is on this NL, by page 6 or 8, the truth will reveal itself. So please lets stay on track aight?

@Post:
1. I hate that they give birth to mad men . . . . . e.g the poster!

iice:

LOL!

_{BTW Wenty is so totally hot!}

LOL, oh I have him on my wall lol

iice:

Gone are the days of the silent man controlled type.
We are in the age of man gossip and lost of control

I tire. Ive never seen where men and women will be haggling when theyre not int he market place

okeyz:

na wa o nairalanders !!!just a simple advice on how to collect transport fare from the bobo,na im don reach 7 pages and still counting!! i hail o group of advicers, if i get any problem involving woman i no go near here at all !!!! una go use advice finish the problem so tay the advice sef go come become problem,
I am sure the lady in question has nicodemously gone to see this guy and the advice are still pouring in, anyway @ the poster if u still havent gone to c the guy dont bother, me too i don pay 4 house , i will give u flight ticket to and fro to come see me no long thing, _{but dont post it here on nairaland o, if u r interested drop your phone number}

LOOOLL . Me ma, I wonder lol

Boboribo:

If the President can tackle AIT with such bravado and gusto and get results, why not apply same tactics to solve the power problem, roads and the other ills that beset this countr

I tire oh. So he is alive at all?
I dont understand anymore oh. These people called government. Hm!
And I thought we had turned "democratic". Even if AIT was in fact spreading malicious stories, you cant call the owner of the TV station to Aso Rock. Doesnt that man have work? He should file a law suite. So all that his education nko?
Im tired oh.

POSAKOSA1:

Uju, no bring your waka come here abeg.

looolll
market place this NL lol

ezinne1212:

I'm more curious as to what has them so worked up, it's funny really.  
Even funnier when it's usually said to be women that get worked up unnecessarily.

Im telling you. Im getting a completely different picture of Nigeria on this Nairaland than I had before. The men here are always fighting and abusing. They cant just say what they want to say.
Its so strange. Always haggling like people say women do.

1. Abusive men.
African men cant use their mouths to formulate normal arguments, they must first abuse you before they start.
Ive never seen soo much complex in one continent. Macho macho everywhere.
Say what you have to say without abusing a woman ohhhh you these men! Haba!

!amebo no1:

are you kidding me? seriously are you kidding me? imagine a man that has been married for 35 years living abroad or even in nigeria with his wife and you are telling me,the mum knows berra? this must be the biggest joke, i have ever come across on this forum

Does a mother know what the son loves eating on monday tuesday wednesday, thursday. . . . ? does a mother know what colour of boxers her son puts on? does a mother know how many clothes the sons got? does the mother know his favourite weekend spots(like where he loves going to on weekends)? does a mother know where her son spends his every minute? does she know how much money he spends on his family?

They didnt ask who knows more. . . . they asked who knows better. Meaning him. His personality. His character and not characteristics.


PS. - I dont think the mother knows him better either.

POSAKOSA1:

Let aisha keep yarning dust---- no wonder she's still single.

This dude ehn lol  . Wont you just ask Aisha2 for her email so you can hook up, cos this one youre stalking her, looks to me liek youre looking for attention.
What on earth does her "yarning dust" (in your opinion) have to do with her still being single biko kwanu this nigerian man eh? lol
This place is like. . . . I dont know

ezinne1212:

I could see you were a ranter, but pointless ranting is a disease. I've already defined what being and independent lady is to me, go back, it's still there. Thats taken care of your first paragraph, as to the second paragraph, i need to ask, How old are you? I'd be worried if you are over 25yrs! If i see a man jump up to join your cause about controlling women, then i know that this world has really hit the pits. As far as independence is concerned, it is not a crusade, people are or are not independent beings/minds, it's not really THAT hard to grasp is it?

My dear did you notice when I dropped my pen (in this case, stayed off my keyboard) ?
Theres no agument anymore, but the dude wants to go on.

Oh yes girl. . .
Drool on this: hehe

@Pharoh . . . . and again about what we're bringing to the table, Im flipping the script, cos its what I asked you in the first place when you people didnt have anymore arguments and you started tot alk about paying bride price etc. I said you people always bring in the money aspect to make girls shut up and that aside from that, you'd have nothign to offer.

The man I eventually choose (if at all) will know what I have to offer. I dont owe you any explanations. So you and your friends can be waiting for a list or a 500page dosier, its not going to come from me.

ezinne1212:

I keep wondering what exactly men bring to marriage apart from sperm. Anything else i can provide for myself sufficiently without the drama and insolence. If it weren't for illegitimacy and boredom/companionship most women wouldn't waste their time with marriage. Men couldn't care less about having bastard kids spread around and having a living hole to 'dip it in' at their convenience is an added advantage.

Heywoh. In fact, this thread has just been adjusted another notch. lol.
Before, I was pouring kerosine everywhere, but with this conment, you just set the house on fire proper lol. People wont sleep this night oh. All them Mr Pharoh and co will go and bring re-enforcement. NL will be upon us shortly  

@Pharoh sorry oh, but as I said, we're runnig round in circles. Ive made my point and you cant get me to think otherwise. I dont have to prove anything to you.
I maintain. A young girl should not be crucified because she chooses not to get married, or chooses to have children two years after getting married and not immediately. A woman should be allowed to breath and have the choice of making decisions that make her happy, even whilst being a wife and mother who most times has to put everyone before herself. And men should mind their business when they hear a woman say: Im not getting married until Ive seen Australia and Equador. It is the girls business and she shoudnt be bullied into thinking menopause is the reason why she should go marry anything that runs accross her path and calls itself a man.
Fullstop!

In fact, I cant believe your arguments Mr. Marfarland.
Do you think our forefathers drove cars? Or did they spend their saturdays in front of the TV watching formular 1 or football? 
When it suits you people, you come and be preaching what it means to be 'an african woman'. When it suits you, you use your african man status to shut us up.
Do you think watching formular 1 or football is african? This is oyinbo rubbish and it only makes our children bad. Blah blah blah.
Our forefathers played in the moonlight and went to farm with thier hoes and axes, and we MUST do the same otherwise we would have lost our values as africans.
I cant even believe you.
Is it not education that made you have money to buy your TV set at home. Is it not the same you people who will save to buy flat screen TV's.
We are africans, and africans are from the bush. As a result, we dont move with the times we're in. Se you hear.
Since we want to stick with our values, we should wear wraper to the farm and buy no Italian Armani suits to work in a building, sen gbo?

@marcfarland . . .
What you call african and what I call african are two different things.
1. What if a woman had fibroid (as african women are prone to due to our diets), . .in extreme cases, a womans womb might have to be removed, or it is infected and she becomes baren. If this woman gets married and cant have children (as is the case sometimes), are you telling me she's not an african?? Giving birth or not should be a persons personal opinion based on their experiences. And this is where you and I will not agree, cos you feel a woman shouldnt even think such simply because she's an african.

I never said I didnt want to have children if I eventually got married, so theres no switzerland to it.
And a girl choosing whether or not she wants to have children has NOTHING to do with our values. You men have a way of mudling everythign up and calling it tradition.
What if a woman feels she is emotionally unable to carry a pregnancy through?
And these are the things that have been swept under the carpet that women of today no longer want to keep quiet to.
We are also human beings, and just as a man decides : oh, we should have only 4 children so we can educate them well, so also should the woman beable to decide, oh, when we get married, I think I'd like to wait two years before we start having children.
Women should be allowed to have a CHOICE.
Im tired of the excuse of : we are african being used to blackmail women into not realising themselves

For those girls who think they have arrived and as a result can talk to their husbands anyhow, I dont subscribe to it. And in non of my comments have I said an educated womans role is to be disrespectful to her husband. Being educated doesnt mean loosing manners as a person.
My argument is, that this respect a woman gives her husband should not be taken for granted , simply because we are africans. There should be a balance. He should respect her as his partner, not his maid!

cvibe:

Someone once said that Naija married women are the luckiest in the world. Free food, no house rent, free shopping money, free car, free clothes, etc. etc. to mention but a few, cos they contribute nothing.

The person who said that should be jailed for lying and you should be questioned for further diseminating false information. But I'l come back to that later.

@Pharoh . . . . What we bring to the table. I can speak for myself. Nothing less than I'd expect . . . . . and thats A LOT
This conversation is going round in circles. No one is changing terms without you people's input. You men cant be reasoned with, so we're running ahead and asking you to catch up.
The status quo has changed brother. So instead of being scared, catch up!

ceysaga:

Hey! You guyz shld nt crucify me o. I havnt gone yet. But am curious, u knw guys can lie 2 gt wat dey want. What if he is hiding a lady & cms 2 lag 2 c me. I wldnt knw d koko. I dnt wnt 2 waste my precious time wt a 2 timer, am thinkn i shd go cos he calld me last nyte 2 say he'll repay me.

LOL. So youre still there ehn.
Well since you think you should go, I think you should. Nothing clears foolishness from our eyes like experience, and so Im all for people expeiencing.
Doh oh. When you come back, report here for clossing remarks, cos many of us have grown close ove this your case lol

joshymere:

i will advise u to pay your fare but u have to be careful cos the guy sound very selfish to me hope he is not lookin for a one night stand.

Oh boy, are'nt you hearing all we're saying. For two days now, this thread has been running and we havnt heard from the poster.
No more advice for her till she returns and tells us where she's been. We suspect she has bailed and run to the guy inspite of all the advice and english we've been speaking. Two days long, we bought over this case.
Very rude oh poster!

redsky1:

you men make me laugh - why does it always have to be about money when equality or treating a woman with respect is discussed.
the reason "our mothers" endured is cos they and their children would be living a life of acute poverty if they were to ask for basic respect.
its not about education - my late father made sure he drummed it into my head that education is key as a woman and that i should never have to depend on a man.

what i have found is alot of our men have a complex and the only way they feel like men is to marry a woman that they can control and walk all over and in a way is very dependent on them - so that they can feel free to do anything they want.
so back to our resident virgin sweetpie - marriage is sweet if its with the right person and you have God in the marriage. The foundation of the happiness and peace in a marraige is love and God

O jare better person. Where have you been. Tell 'em

Ebonyeyes:

I will slap the pastor into hell fire for his false prophecy.

Ben-10:

What do you mean by a reliable pastor? No pastor is reliable, poster.

LOOLL. You people wont kill me

Ujujoan:

Meanwhile where is she sef? She should come and tell us what happened jor!

Ah toh. This one we've bought over another womans case and are fighting it. Typical nigerians we all are lol 
Meanwhile the owner of the story has left us to be arguing. For all you know, she's there with him now
All this good advice, gone to naught lol

Ebonyeyes:

I totally agree with you. Thats why our fathers sent us to school so that no useless goon will flash money in our faces and expect us to shut up. These men will eventually have daughters lets hope men like them treat their daughters how they are treating girls.

My dear, I tire. Its like chatting with people from the mid 16th century when you hear some nigerian men and their opinions.

LOL. On a lighter note, its funny to see how some people just walk into the thread, answer the question and leave. Not like us, staying back to fight the fight of something completely different ) lol

erico2k2:

@Paroh,
I tire oh, now Ladies, could you help me out here, No who isthe uneducated or the not to educated girl/woman got to depend on? and the not too educated man as wel got to depend on?
btw, as far as you are saying women should have equal role and obligation fine,I would love to have one of yah for a bride, but the wedding arangements has to be %50/%50, IF we plan to spend 2milion on our wedding/marriage,you will bring 1m and me 1M, deal?

And as usual when arguing with men, you people have watered down the argument to a monetary one. Of allll the things spoken of, no woman mentioned money, but you people seem to be holding on by a string and so you throw in the money argument to see if that'l shut us up. WRONG.

Thats why my father sent me to school. So that no man will come one day and say: shut up, Im paying the bills.
If I got married to a man and the wedding arrangments cos 2m, we'l split it. Im not a beggar and I am also getting married. I dont think its just the mans responsibility.
And face it, you people have accepted to take on this monetary role so that you can talk. Cos otherwise, you know the woman will defeat you,.
At least this way you can continue to shout at her that you alone paid the 2m (money that would have expired since oh) so she should not argue when you talk.