₦airaland Forum

YeribanzavsAfon:
All what you are saying here is new to me because i have not made attempt to mingle outside Imo so i wouldn't speak about that maybe you people that have been discriminated against will tell me, as for me and most Imolites we do not marry outside our state that's all. . But to play the devil's advocate though i think it is a matter of choice that someone may decide to marry from his state like me and i wont be surprised if someone says Imolites discriminate too. When you get to [Plateau state the Igbos getting married to Jos women at an officially alarming rate are all Anambra men, you can hardly see a man from Imo who is not married to an Imo woman.
So if Amanbra can marry Plateau in droves this "our mother said" of a thing does not count when a man or woman is in love that's it unless he or she never intended to marry you period.

Who told you imolites don't marry outside imo state.. Imo ladies and men can marry from any state and tribe .. I have imo friends that married yoruba.. Imolites hardly discriminate. But anambarians discriminate among their fellow igbos simply because they are not from their place.

Giwoni:
My Love Experience

Good day NLanders

I'm a medical student, and gf ( not sure what to call her now) is in MLS. We are both in same level (500l).

It all started in 2015, when we gained admission into the University. We began to read together and subsequently I started teaching her. Later on, she made me to read and susummarize her course topics (which I did for up to her 300 level) for her as she usually found it difficult to read with textbooks and understand the contents.

Months before my 2nd MBBS examinations, I began to notice changes in her attitude and behaviour towards me, up to the point that she told me that if I did not pass that examinations that, she will forget about me. But as God may have it, I passed successfully.

Financially, it started right in year one as I celebrated her and her mummy's Christmas from my own pocket. It got to a point that I usually give her her money almost every day (for up to 5yrs) Whenever, I'm traveling in any of our vacations, I usually give money for upkeep until I'm back.

In 300l, I bought her gift worth almost 30k and also celebrated her birthday which she demanded I get her 'point and kill cat fish' that cost 9k.

I usually pay for her textbooks and seminar work as we are all in medical school, I really do a lot for her, as she always told me she would never leave me right from yr 1 to 500l after which she started telling me, their people from Anambra will not let her marry people from Ebonyi State.

She's has known this for all her life, but decided to bring it up just now, when I'm beginning my marriage plans with her, She's started giving me unnecessary excuses in one form or the other.

In 400L, my elder brother told me that I should leave my medical school here to go and study the same medicine abroad. Because of her, I told him that I want to finish my school here since I am already in 400 level. That after my MBBS degree, I can then go abroad for my Masters degree...

This January, my elder brother told me that since I would be graduating in 2022 (which supposed to be 2021 but due to strike before the 2019 election) which is two years time, that I should be planning to get married before I leave this country.

This made me to ask her again if we are ending up together and she told me that she has to seek for her mother's consent, and would give me a feedback.

Before, she travelled (this is just before the lock down) as she was complaining that she does not have any money on her to eat and she want to go and learn how to plait hair which will cost her #8,000, I gave her #16,000. The next day after collecting the money, she told me that she received a call from her mother that she must come back to her State and she travelled with that money without learning anything.

Yesterday by 8:24pm, I called her to tell me the outcome of her mother's discussion with her. She told me that her mother insisted that she cannot marry an Ebonyi man, and she cannot go outside her mother's decision.

In conclusion, she told me that she cannot marry me.

Well, as expected, I'm bracing myself up for insults, (I really don't mind this right now) but amidst the insults, pls advice a brother who's fighting emotionally.

thanks

That's anambra people for you. Is either she was just with you because of the financial gain or the mother actually influenced her decision cos their mothers usually do. Brace up yourself, forget about her and move on, you will surely find someone that will accept you same with the family.

YeribanzavsAfon:
No one gives the bolded a second thought in Imo except maybe you guys from Abia.

All i am saying is that the Anambra people i have seen always wish to marry Imo ladies yet Imo guys dont marry outside Imo state, so the issue of Anamabra discriminating other Igbos does not apply to Imo state indigenes. If one or two Anambraians decline marrying from Imo or vice versa it shouldn't be used as a yardstick to judge the entire people of of the state, same goes to Abians, Ebonyi etc.. Its all about preference and like i said earlier an uncle of mine never wanted to get married to a certain lady from Anambra until she used pregnancy to kind of "blackmail" him into settling down with her.
Me i dont have problem marring from Abia, as a matter of fact i hear Abia women make good wives and many of them are married in Imo so it is not a matter of discrimination but choice and preference, even some homes in Imo do not want an Mbaise daughter in law but people from Anambra come and marry them and they do just fine in their marriages.

The fact still remains that Anambarians discriminate alot. They have this idea instilled in them which make them feel they are better than others. An anambra man might wish to marry from Abia or imo but this their 'our mother said' syndrome won't let them. Their parents always influences their marriage and still decide who they marry. This is not about one or two scenarios, do a research and you will find out for yourself.

luminouz:
I.still dont get...what makes them so haughty and selective?

They are unnecessarily tribalistic, there guys hardly marry outside there state worst scenario enugu cos they share boundary. There parents influences there marriage alot.

Chi59:
Anambra people hardly marry other ibo people, except enugu. They're very selective and no matter the love, they must first of all get their parents approval. I once loved an anambra man. The rest is history
Infact if i ever come across an anambra guy toasting me again, I jump and pass. Let them marry themselves.

You are so right my sister...

What are they coming back for? They should remain there till the whole pandemic is over.

Ussycool:
This is a type of Government we pray for.


He is not like those stubborn Governors we have in Northern part of the country.

Be careful what you wish for, that man is nothing but a heartless being .

Ussycool:
This is a type of Government we pray for.


He is not like those stubborn Governors we have in Northern part of the country.

Be careful what you wish for, that man is nothing but a heartless being.

Randy100:
You managed them, are you one. I was opportune to take PEP for Hiv for 1 month. The side effect from those drug made me wish I was death. Headache, nausea and vomiting, diarrhea. Take a look at their gluteal muscle. It is always flat. It is a death sentence to me.

I'm not one. I'm a health worker and was trained to do so. PEP has side effects no doubt. Are you saying people living with the virus should go and commit suicide? It's not a death sentence, what will you say about people living with dreaded diseases like kidney failure and cancer?
In the case of HIV,
proper counselling and drug adherence matters.

klenton:
oga, what exactly is the moral of this your story, that once someone texts positive they should just marry their partner and procreate HIV free kids and everything will be okay??

if you don't want to tell a story and let people learn from your experience then dont
leaving out completely how u got the virus, handled the stigma and healed defeats what ever lesson your trying to put out there.

prevention as always is better than cure, from your story is obvious your family is rich and that explains why you have to get married immediately with the financial implications involved in not just the marriage but raising a family, yours might be an exception and that is not a lesson.

That is not what he insinuated. He was trying to encourage people living with the virus to brace up, take their drugs and they will be just fine. It is also a wake up call to go get tested because alot of people are living with the virus unknowing to them. Early detection is also of paramount importance.

Randy100:
You didn't tell us the side effect of all those antiretroviral drugs that you have been popping since five years. My brother HIV is a dead sentence.

HIV isn't a death sentence. I have managed cases of people living with HIV. Stigmatisation Is usually the problem they face but once one accepts his or her status and adhere to their drugs they can live a normal life.

What kind of diobu pictures are these ones.. @op you didn't see the nice areas in ph to snap...

mumumugu:
can an emotional being stop being emotional

It can be controlled..

One secret ladies don't know is that they can develop feelings for any guy who truly desires them and treats them like a queen even if that guy is totally opposite of what they want in terms of physical looks...it is a mystery so put your feelings on hold and observe keenly then give your feelings to a guy that is deserving of it.

@ the bolded is not true cos ive tried severally to develop feelings for one or two good guys I felt would make a perfect spouse but it just didn't click. And it took me years trying to see if there's a way I can build the love for these guys, or feel something for them but same same.
You can't really force this feelings or develop it yourself, it won't work. This things happen naturally and if it not there, it not there. That is why most marriages are having problems today because you have people advising you saying, " you can build love, love grows in marriage, just marry the man first and love will come later" jaggons. If it actually works like that, then it would have happened for me when I tried forcing it for those guys I talked about earlier.

Feeling is something you can't control. That is why when you feel something for someone, you can't control how fast it grows until it reaches a peak where it becomes a threat. Likewise you dont have the power to control your feelings and make it grow for someone it doesn't click with. It's a natural phenomenon beyond every living being.

Please let not be misguided.
I believe in true love with genuine feelings and that is what covers all sins. As in no matter what the person does to you, you still want to be with them.

It took me 4 years after my ex to fall in love again. And this new guy is a Nairalander. Yes! And this happened within a few weeks. But we had a little misunderstanding and I was heartbroken to which I confided in a guy here about how I felt. So he asked me, how long have I dated this new guy that the love hurts so badly. I told him just a few weeks and he went wow! Like is it not too early to love so deeply?
Now I didn't realized that my feelings had grown so fast and so deep for this guy until he mentioned it and I paused to think but realized its not my fault! Its how nature works and we can't control these things.

Now the part you said 'feelings can make u be with someone no matter what they do' caught my attention. My dear I don't believe in that school of thought, that's the reason why most women end up in abusive marriages and some are murdered in their matrimonial homes reason been that they love the man and can't leave. Their are signs you will see in a relationship that needs a rethink, I mean damn whatever you feel for him and run as fast as your legs can carry you. The worst thing that can happen is heartbreak which heals with time but if you put your feelings first before your wellbeing you will realize your mistakes when it's too late. We should not only love with our heart but allow our heads to accompany us in so doing one doesn't end up in wrong hands.

ThinkB4mention:
I doubt if these kids actually came Tru this man ...no striking resemblance at all.... They look more like an half cast

They look like their mum. Lola is biracial.. Half yoruba, half German so that's how the half caste resemblance came about.. Whites have a dorminant gene.

Teejazy:
Audio money

Not audio. Don jazzy is a giver.

He should complete the centre table in the name of flyover he's been constructing for years now, fix the roads, pay workers and pensioners before talking about airport.. Senseless governor.

platido:
Lovely night out there...with best dressed to Ebuka male, Best dressed Mercy female...the rest are Marlian's.

Mike won best dressed not Ebuka... Mercy too..

cooljuman:
So what did mercy and tasha win?

Mercy and Mike won best dressed..

Fashion indeed

Nice outfits...

SavageMaster:
Set up a meeting with him in a public place, say a restaurant. Thank him for the attention, care and for providing for you.

Then tell him you need him to define what both of you are doing, and what he is up to. Tell him you need him to define his relationship with you. Go ahead to tell him you have suitors coming for your hand in marriage, and you don't want him to receive your wedding invitation unexpectedly.

I think you should be bit soft on him, since you really like him. If he is sensible, after your saying these, he'll take the hint and do the needful.

If he intends to marry you, he should give you a timeframe, and then you go back, think about it, and reply him later.

If he's not yet ready to settle down, I think you should move on.

@op, go with this advice.

Mercy is dope

The list is long sha but his husband material should look this way:
He should be God fearing, preferably a Catholic Christian.
Tall, ambitious and hardworking.
He should be from the South East.
Age range should be between 34 and 38..
A good sense of humour and chatty, I hate borites jare..

St Jude's Catholic Church

Eggshells:
Hello my fellow nairalanders...
Ive been an ardent follower of this forum for quite some time now and only joined yesterday to share something that has been bothering me for some time now.

My fiance and I were in the same state Enugu, nmaku precisely before I relocated to Lagos to work with my uncle. This was in September last year.
Initially we were communicating like everyday but as time went on, work became very tedious that I reduced to like once in three days.to which he saw reasons and understood.

Problem now is, he called early Feb to tell me to either quit my uncles job or forget about our relationship... I was shocked and didn't know what to say. so I told him to give me some time to give him feedback. But now, I don't know what to tell him cos I need the job and we have come a long way and he called me last week saying this first week of March is the dead line...
Please what should I do? I'm in a fix now.

Thanks in advance for your responses.
Insults are not welcomed please.

Don't quit your job for a relationship, what if he jilts you tomorrow, what will be your fate? I can only advice you to try and communicate daily, I believe you don't work all day and night, so you can always make out time to call or chat. If he still decides to quit then let him go.

I'm here to read comments

Kenneth10110:
Nawa o some people no send their looks even with money

I swear

Obiohai:
I hope this is the end of the saga. Now its complete. Congrats to them


Next .....

This is a music video wedding not a real wedding.

Ashawoboi27:
What's this nollywood actor name again

Bob Manuel Udokwu

truthsayer009:
As you dom fall in love na.

With who?

Please someone should throw more light on MBA trading, what's the least amount to invest with and what's the profit and risk Involved.