₦airaland Forum

morpheus24:
THe SA's have been getting a ton of negative press from the British especially ever since Mbeki's stance on the Zimbabwean issue I have come to realize. Prior to that their coverage of the area was not so intense.

I suspect foul play and a growing recentment by this western power maybe because the Sourthen Africans have been turning their trade attentions eastward to the Asians.

I think the western world is pisssed at South Africa because they can't bully us,I mean SA has voted against America and it's ally on more 2 occassion when we where part of the security council.
And SA has also realised the power shift in the world,I mean India and China are the future world powers and South Africa together with Brasil has strong bonds,I mean they call themself BASIC or IBSAC


http://ideas.repec.org/p/ess/wpaper/id958.html

IBSAC (INDIA, BRAZIL, SOUTH AFRICA, CHINA): A Potential Developing Country Coalition in WTO Negotiations

And he doesn't critizise Nigeria only,he is also very hard on SA,he is also a regular guest on one of the top sports programe on radio in SA,and the things he say pissses lots of people but they're true.Like he will tell the host that SA does not have a team nor talent.

Mamadou is my hero,he's like my Chuch Norris of football.

Psss.I was so happy when CIV was beaten could not wait to hear his defence,and he ended up blaming the referee,I could not stop laughing cause I could see that he was hurting inside,he was so sure that CIV will go all the way.

'the assasin of Abijan"

Yes Two million tickets for the world cup has been sold,at this moment,79% by South Africans and the rest to the outside world,Fifa secretary on Kick off website this morning said England and Germany's press are on the mission of badmouthing South Africa,and it's funny that the Nazi's own half of hot properties in Cape Town and we all know the influence of the Poms in South Africa,Now I wonder if they're doing this to distract other people to see the beauty of SA and its investment opportunities or they're just Jealous?
I mean this two countries are the most racist in the world,they've colonised,commited holocoust,slavery,sponsored civil wars,you name it,if you don't know how Satan look like look at the Germans and British face you'll see the replica of Satan.

If there is a Nazi and those fish smelling British here,we don't give a shiiiit wether you come or not,you racist mudafucker where sponsoring the aapartheid goverment and you continuing with that culture.Go bleep yourself and you silly queen

Now after that little therapy,I would like to say that South Africa is 100% behind the world cup,we are not quiters and will never will,as long as we have the best 32 teams in our shore we will support the championship.

The biggest number of people who bought tickets behinnd SA are Americans 50 000.For now that's all I'm going to say.


http://www.independent.co.uk/sport/football/internationals/england-under-fire-from-fifa-over-world-cup-negativity-1881011.html

Jordaan added a forthright defence of his country's preparations. "First they said, 'The stadiums will never be ready' – that was your perception. The reality is that all the stadiums are done," he said. "Then they said, 'You're going to run out of money before everything is done' – it has not happened. That was the perception and it was wrong. Then they said, 'No one is going to buy the tickets' – now we saying we sold over two million and there are just 900,000 left. So we are happy."

franko!:
I am Nigerian. I lived in Jo'burg for 5 years. In this time, I frequented Alex a lot, for the simple reason there were loadsa beauties there at the time! All this time, I also frequented Berea, Hillbrow, CBD and Soweto.

The only time I faced significant crime, was in Hillbrow, when a large rock was thrown on top my car roof, one particular 24th December nite, must have been a few doggone years ago. Other than that, I cant really say I have been done by criminals. Mind you, there was always an almost invincible undercurrent of crime whenever I went to Hillbrow, it always spooked me - Hillbrow.

Also, once in Alex, on a particular saturday morning round about 11am, I was following a car driven by a black guy, he parked middle of the road, and started talking to a mate, i beeped angrily and made to overtake him, then he moved off in a screech!  Suddenly, he stopped again very abruptly, then, got out spoke to a fella on the roadside, I was getting exasperated by this time. Then, he suddenly went round the back of his car, faced me, while leaning on his boot, he raised his t-shirt, to reveal a gun tucked in, for my attention.

He then pulled his T-shirt back, got in his car, and drove off!  Phew!!!

That was that! And, that was as far as crime came close to me, all my lovely time in RSA. I do miss it. I lived mostly in Wendywood, Sandton by the way!

RSA is a hard place, especially Jo'burg, if you keep your head down and get on with it, you should be fine.

However, without your research BEFORE you head up, you are likely to roast to death in RSA.

My brother I am impressed,first you lived in Sandton,but frequently visited Soweto and Alex and sometime Hillbrow.Based on all the places you've been to,I trust your judgement on SA,GOOD OR BAD,and  have said it before,that most people judge SA only on Hillbrow more especially Nigerians,Hillbrow is a hell(although the goverment is busy trying to clean it up),it is a red light district,only the scum of the world live there.

People forget that there are other provinces and cities in SA,where people are welcoming,there are lot of  places in SA where if people realised that you're not a local then they'll all want to invite you to their houses,it's in our culture as South Africans and Africans,we call it Ubuntu in Zulu and Botho in Tswana/Sotho,humanity.

My point is South Africa is a big country,diverse society and culture,when you're there try to move around see other places not just Joburg,Cape town and Durban.The official stastistic says that we have a population of around 50 million,but independent statistians estimate the number to be around 70 million.
Just because there are kidnapers in Delta it does not mean the whole of Naija is Kidnapper friendly.

1,2:
Yes, teachers are in demand. Why there is a shortage of teachers, in the 90's there used to be what we called teaching collages. Then we produced a lot of teachers in such a way that some of these guys struggle to find teaching jobs. Then the government decided to do away with the Teaching collage, they were shut down. Only if you wanted to do teaching you could do it in the University. We spent almost 10 years without producing any teachers, now it is backfiring, there are no teachers. We depend mostly from Zimbabwean, DRC, Kenya, Zambian teachers. If you have an experience in teaching, more specially Maths and Science, you will get a VISA tomorrow i am telling you.

1,2 you've hit it in the nail,I remember those Teaching Colleges in most of the township.I grew up in Tlhabane,Rustenburg and we had a Nursing,Teaching and Police College in our township.It was cool back then cause our house was close to the Police College and every morning when we go to school they'll be doing their routine jogging/running in their tracksuits and we will run with them. .We even had clothing factories,where our mothers and aunts used to work,and now they're all closed.

1,2 where you from?

Nurudeena:
Yoruba,
A friend is telling me their is alot of teaching job presently in south africa,how true is this?

Yes there are openings for teachers,esspecially maths and sience in township and rural schools.I know about five Nigerian teachers who are currently teaching in the school that I used to attend.

Maybe Yoruba could give you more info and some links.

yoruba:
Sorry for the delay, I was quite busy at my office. @RSA, ever heard of a town called Virgina(next to Welkom in the Free State) thats the town were I was born and bred. They mined the gold that was used to manufactured the ring in the movie lord of the rings written by J.R Tolkien(Born in Bloemfontein)

Hao bathong! Khele! Monna yo ke Mosotho banna! Mosotho oo mosehlaana! Banna? ngwana wa Ntate Moshoeshoe banna? Moja pere!! Hae ye teng

It's good to know my brother,we both from small mining towns,and look at us now ,well I mean I look at me now .just joking,

I think he should try the mines in Rustenburg(my birth town ),70% of the world platinium come from this town.So try this sites

www.implats.co.za

www.angloplatinum.com

This town is one of the safest and the fastest growing town in SA,soon it will be a city.I mean it could be a capital in other  neighbouring countries.And it is close to Sun City,Africas Las Vegas.And also it will host 2010 World cup this June.

Wife goes to supermarket, sees man's briefs on sale. She buys a dozen of
the same colour. Goes home and gives hubby. Hubby protests, “Why buy me
same colour? People will think I do not change underwear!! Wife asks,
"Which people?"

malaika:
Maybe Vuyo can prove himself and assist with this one

I hear the new home affairs minister is cleaning up the department, audits etc, and a lot of such cases are being uncovered - work permits for which no files exist on the system i.e. illegal work permits. That is where the issue of bogus immigration practitioners comes in.

justwise:
Thank you very much, this is the thing, when some silly fools here tells u they can get u SA visa, work permit, bla bla bla, its all bogus, yes the permit may look real, but its not official and not in the system. That is the type of permit Vuyo /hadex-scam will get u

Yes,things have changes a bit now,I mean we are hosting the world cup in five months and all our systems have to be wolrd class,I mean world cup will even draw the attentions of al-queda to South Africa,so if you can't have a decent control entry then you might as well alow everyone to come in and blow us all at the stadiums.

If you are on your way to SA for the world cup?make sure you apply through the right channels.You don't want suprises at the airport,cause I don't want to hear you scream xenophobia here on nairaland.

nice-guy10:
Are you kiding me? That 95% of jo'burg cities are peaceful? Are you a South African?

I think he is right,only the places he has mentioned are no go area in the CBD and you will aggree with me that thats where you find most residential areas.The rest of the CBD is commercial area,that is where you'll find Provincial Goverment offices,Major Banks and some classy Hotels.The whole of Marshaltown in CBD is very very safe and Braamfontein is also safe.

And I am a South African by the way.

justwise:
I known a couple of Zambian ladies here for 6yrs now, they are pretty fun to be around but dam! they can DRINK, they love their beer to hell.

Ok I wasn't warned about their drinking habits I guess I wanted to hear only what I wanted
No, it won't be nice to have a woman who drinks a lot.

After the 9th baby, Woman says to
priest "I don't know why I get pregnant so often, there must be something in
the air!!!!"

Priest- "Yes my child your
legs!

malaika:
hefty lobola paid up and no vat n sit

Hubby did everything right, like I said he's from Zambia, you won't find Zambians clogging up Home Affairs with fake documents and fake marriages, classy people those BTW if its illegal to keep home affairs forms at your house, how come they are freely available for download from the home affairs website http://www.dha.gov.za/documents.asp

So your uncle's clapped him neh
You're right about Zambians,esspecialy their woman,I am told if I get a womn there that I won't even look at a SA woman again ,They say the woman there are taught how to please their men by their mothers,grandmother and aunts.One girl was explaining that they teach a woman how to move her body while her fat aunt sit on top of her and underneath her they put some sharp objects.So jah neh!!

What is your hubby's name,is it Jeffrey Mwale? Cause that is my friends name from Zambia and he married a Azanian angel

Thanks again for the info regarding the home affairs documnts thing,I guess you're right I have given wrong info.

Plateau State governor Jonah Jang said the violence was not provoked by a lack of opportunity in this rural farming community. He claimed many of the attackers were from Muslim-dominant northern Nigeria and from the nearby, predominantly Muslim nations of Niger and Chad.

"There are people masterminding this for their own selfish reasons," said Jang, who is Christian.

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2010/01/20/ap/africa/main6118561.shtml



So just like South Africans,Nigeria blames their neighbour for their crisis,the above statement if was made by a South African Minister,all hell would have broke loose,This is xenophobic at its worst.

A Burgler broke into a house one night.

He shined his flashlight around,

looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said,

'Jesus knows you're here.'

He nearly jumped out of his skin,

clicked his flashlight off, and froze.

When he heard nothing more ,

after a bit, he shook his head and continued.

Just as he pulled the stereo out so he

could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard

'Jesus is watching you.'

Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically,

looking for the source of the voice.

Finally, in the corner of the room,

his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.

'Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot.

'Yep', the parrot confessed, then squawked,

'I'm just trying to warn you that he is watching you.'

The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh?

Who in the world are you?'

'Moses,' replied the bird.

'Moses?' the burglar laughed. 'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?'

'The kind of people that would name their Rottweiler Jesus.'

How about sending all this to Jos?
Jos is burning,the air is filled with rotting bodies and you're all here trying to look good to the outside world?

Sad,you're all like a very dirty woman who smear vaseline on her face forgeting that her hands, feet and clothes are also dirty,and she think people think she is clean.

JOS IS BURNING!!!

Another one bite the dust

^^The reality is in life you must plan and do your research before doing anything,even whn migrating to another country or city.
Most Nigerians I've realised that they don't do the above,aslong as they have the right documents and a ticket they will fly to unknown countries hoping for the best when they get there,and we all know that the green is not always greener on the other side.

I mean I want to come to Naija myself for business opportunities,and currently I'm busy with my research,and through that I will know how much capital I will need and also I should have a return ticket,in case things don't work out.

I think people who've made in SA are people who have well researched plans and missions.

edoyad:
That's where you're wrong Mr South Africa, the problem is not the section of the society that has embraced education and modern principles of freedom of religion et al; the problem is with the section of the population that's averse to education, development, female emancipation, child right and freedom of religion.

Ok,how many of you cared to listen when we said xenophobia attacks where commited by poor,uneducated people in SA? Most of you brushed all of us with the same paint.Even today when there is peace between the comunities that where fighting.

Point is in Nigeria is not about education,because most of you are claiming to be educated it's about wisdom that you're lacking and remember that wisdom comes from God.
Wisdom teaches you tolerance,education does not
Wisdom teach patience,your education does not
Wisdom teaches you to think clearly,education teaches you what you've been tought,good or bad

A person who has Wisdom will never be influenced,educated one's are easily influenced and whitewashed because all their references are based on books they've read.

You guys are killing each other because ya'll think your clever,you think you know more than each other,therefor you're better than them.You all have bigman mentality,you all want to Presidents,no one want to be deputy.
I compare Nigerians to having 140 million queen bees,do you think nector or honey will be produced if they all live together?
People Grow up

malaika:
Heitha RSA
Just to answer above question, hubby is from Zambia and he used a private immigration practitioner to process his work permit. Most of them are former Home Affairs employees, their business is legit, they get all your documents and personally submit them at Home Affairs for you, they do all the legwork and even come with you to interviews if necessary. I've seen this - as they say in naija - with my korokoro eyes Of course, you do get scammers but suffice to say there is such a thing as an immigration practitioner.

Thanks Sis,for clearing that one up.I didn't know that it was legal to have official document outside the home affairs.I mean I once lost my ID and asked my wife to go and collect documents for me so that I could fill them at home and drop them the following day and she was told that no forms are allowed to leave the premises,and it's not long time ago.

I even confirmed this with a friend this morning about it and she said it is illegal to keep home affairs form at your house or offices,and there have been several arrests by police where forms,ID'S and Passport where found.

I hope you hubby did it the rightway.Did he pay lobola you know rona we don't want Vat 'n Sit

hadexman:
No Hadexman is Vuyo, wethin be your problem self?

Whoa

Nigerians I don't care whether you're muslims or christians youre'all are bunch of animals,who cannot even live together.I remember all of you where screamer murderers,xenophobics when 52 people died in South Africa.You where all behaving as if Nigerians are decent human being,but look now,1000 lives have been lost,why?because the most educated blacks decided to have a party by killing each others,Now that's education for you,that's intelligence and now I understand why other Africans are so jealous of your succeses,whoa! Clap for yourself the most educated blacks on earth.Now I do know what you mean by having presence and confidence.

Disgrace,Killers,tribalists,morronss,uncivilised bunch of idioots,God have mercy on you people.

There is no place like home

Signboard outside a prostitutte's house:
Married MEN not allowed. We serve the needy, not the greedy,  

New AIDS awareness slogan:
Try different positions with the same woman instead of same position with different women.


Q: Why is $ex like shaving?
A: Well, because no matter how well you do it today,  tomorrow you'll have to do it again,  

Q: What will happen if earth rotates 30 times faster?
A: Men will get their salary everyday and women will bleed to death.

Q: Why do 90% gals have left boob bigger than right?
A: Bcoz 90% boys are right handed.

Q: What is the difference between a PANTY & a STAGE CURTAIN?
A: When you pull down the STAGE CURTAIN, the show is over, but when you pull down the PANTY,  It is SHOWTIME!

Q: What is the similarity between a wife and a chewing gum?
A: Both are sweet in the beginning but become tasteless and shapeless later

Advantages of having an affair with married women.
·        They give like hell.
·        They do not yell.
·        They do not tell.
·        They do not swell and there is no wedding bell!

Did you know that if Adam and Eve were Chinese, we would be still in Paradise? Why? Because they would have eaten the snake instead of the bloody apple!

Signboard outside a prostitute's house:



Married MEN not allowed. We serve the needy, not the greedy,