₦airaland Forum

[quote author=blogger1.0]@sagamite I dropped sometin in ur mail. Pls check ASAP[/quote]Got you, mate.

lipsyliscious: as far as they would go thru wat a normal guy in a relationship would just to nyash d girl den dey dated her, saying dey did it just for d nyashing is self deceit because dey had to overlook her stupidity just for d nyashing, n dis could b for quite a period of tym, till dey are satisfied

Trust me, that is quite easy.

I thought the thread was more about taking someone seriously.

Sard: is 5'7" tall? Honestly, 5'7" is just a little below average for male, I think average height for a male is 5'8" / 5'9", though it varies with country/region. BTW, I am only 5'10" myself.

Average height where?

thareta: Alright, I give up.

That is not a transparent response.

Give up why?

Zeebah23: That's very true.
About those giving a specific period,while some are just being careful so they won't be labelled 'cheap',some are trying to see what they can syphoon from within that period. If it's worth it,they let you in ; if not,no sex.
As for the others,i reserve my comments.

I don't care what reason they do it for. It feels artificial, is uninspiring and it is boring.

I would quickly lose the fire in my belly when I have to sign a contract to get a relationship. That is why I like younger girls who are still in their carefree stage.

There is nothing like an electric spark of attraction between both sides, where things happen in spontaneity.

lipsyliscious: All dis long list tho, bt 80% of dis guys would Zap a gud looking girl weda she is a bimbo or not n would even go on to hv a relationship with her tho they myt not hv future plans.

Understand the difference between boning and dating.

Zeebah23: I can easily with relate number 4,most Nigerian ladies (guys too) are poor conversationists and it's worse when you meet one whose IQ is way lower than yours but number 6 -contract-based intimacy- i do not understand you.

"You have to buy me X before you touch/date me."

"You have to be looking for marriage to date me."

"I have to know you for at least 6 weeks before we kiss and 12 months before we have sex"

Basically, the interaction is not about passion nor is it spontaneity. It is about "what is in it for me". Someone looking for someone that can provide a goal/benefit, not someone attracted to you for you. Sign the contract before I do X.

It is business not feelings.

thareta: MR, you are so wrong most naija girls are sexy, classy, intimately wild and terrific conversationalist.how I know? Have read pretty good intelligent comments from ladies on this forum and with a good guess 75% are from naija.Everyone knows communication is key to an happy relationship so a girl inlove with you should learn how to do so..now Ofcourse, there are rude girls however not so many naija. Why, most cultures in naija don't permit rudnes be it to elders or to your man. Infact, I'd like you to define what you mean when you type "rude" . P.S foreign girls are generally rude and when it comes to contract intimacy they are top on the list. My point is most naija girls aren't what you mostly paint them to be.

Sweetie, I admire your attempt at being optimistic about Naija girls but I think some of us have said it before, especially about them being poor conversationalist.

www.nairaland.com/1021440/men-always-been-petty-missing/5#11913579

Take them on a date and have the most boring moment of your life, while she sits their thinking she is entitled to you worshiping her because she is L'Oreal. *Because I'm worth it*

https://www.nairaland.com/1012348/parents-how-teach-daughters-self-esteem/3#11748448

As for being good in bed? Not really:

https://www.nairaland.com/1012348/parents-how-teach-daughters-self-esteem/3#11748112

I am still dilly-dallying with my intention of opening a thread on the life-cycle of dating a Naija girl. Maybe that would reveal more about what we guys experience to you.

https://www.nairaland.com/1012348/parents-how-teach-daughters-self-esteem/3#11748637

Rude = the way Naija girls (and black girls in general) love to disparage men that approach them:

https://www.nairaland.com/1107818/7-reasons-women-lose-respect/1#13039308

Swit up: what da.....? Is 5ft7 short...

Then u must be a G.I.A.N.T

I think he is just speculating and included that height.

To some girls, 5ft7 is short.

There are many girls that want a guy to still be taller than her in their heels. For example if a girl is 5ft4, she might think a 5ft7 guy is short because if she wears a 4 inch heel shoe, she would be taller than him.

That does not mean 5ft7 is short though, it just means he is below her height requirement/desire/fantasy.

Saecula: I cringe at the farrago of inane comments here syptomatic of a place filled by juveniles.
=
@OP, the girl could be the free and playful type that talks a lot without attaching much to it. It would be very ongenuous if you attach more meanings that are required to this apparently innocuous statement.
I guess you should use other avenues to find out who you are to her.

Oga Honourable Patrick Obahiagbon, she could be abi?

He too should make innocu-nocu statement that would offend her too. Then maybe she would learn how to not let her mouth run offensively.

thareta: Hummm interesting. Okay o. Remind me to fear you

Fear me for wetin? Wetin I do?

thareta: You alredy have a negative mindset about nigerian girls. The funy thing is,itz really obvious.

I already have a world of experience with Nigerian girls and girls from other nations to contrast them and be negative about the average Nigerian girl.

The funny thing is that when I read or interact with many of the girls on NL, their mentality makes it obvious my negative mindset was right in the first place.

Only few are exceptions and I let them know this. That shows I am not just being blindly discriminatory.

More evidence of me willing to give props were it is due, irrespective of being a Nigerian girl or not, was when I used to call pendo89 a classy girl even though I thought she was Nigerian. Only to find out she wasn't:

https://www.nairaland.com/969496/men-it-love-acts/5#11188192

https://www.nairaland.com/969496/men-it-love-acts/5#11188331

That is proof my mindset was developed based on content of character not the palm oil in their ogbono.

1. Rude
2. Her head up her arsse.
3. Classless.
4. Poor conversationist.
5. Not genuinely interested in me.
6. Frigid/unsexy/intimately dull/practices contract-based intimacy.

Most Naija girls normally have 4 out of 6 of the above.

Shy Dare: Gurlz behave in a mysterious manner, d gurl infact might even lyk d Op buh just formin. It happened 2me b4. I suggest u stop callin nw, call ha afta few mths. She may b scared of a relatnshp 4nw. I knw it's difficult afta toastin a vry vry gorgeous lady & she's nt pickin ur 'follow up' calls. Free ha nw, call ha lyk 2 - 3 mnths 4rm nw. Dnt give up, toastin a lady or buildin a frnshp wit a lady requires lots of patience.

Huh?

OP, don't listen to this yamayama bobo.

If a girl is not into you, move on. NEVER CHASE A GIRL!

These are the kinds of guys that end up with some useless girl that does not love them and just likes their attention:

https://www.nairaland.com/1017330/im-not-sure-need-boyfriend/4#11827900

Patience my arsse.

Only waste your time with chics that like you. Never drag yourself on the floor:

https://www.nairaland.com/403381/why-nigerian-man-prefer-women/13#6883674

thareta: Really am sorry

No need to apologise, darling. Its all good!

You come across as one of the rare classy Nigerian girls I like to see more of as the main representative of the young females of the country.

thareta: When you say ''respected'' I feel like your stylishly trying to insult me. You can read better and communicate better when I type in full english so I did just that to flow better with you. I could go both ways with anyone as long as am being understood and most importantly,in an informal situation.

That sentence was not referring to your writing, it was referring to the wooing/mating interaction between guys and gals which you summarised.

thareta: Heehee I feel your style well. Long story short, ladies learn to say NO firmly and don't form cunny by playing all nice giving your number with a smile and later you end up not picking . Guys, learn to leave a girl once you can boldly see she's not interested. *the end*

Well summarised.

That is a far more respectable social interaction system.

iykemoney90: Pls nairalanders I need your advice.

I was dating this girl 2 yrs ago before she moved to turkey with the family because her dad is a diplomat. Although we didn't break up before she left,we were still in communication for about 4 month before I stopped hearing from her, instead voice mail will pick her call, she won't come online on fb and she neva replied all my messages so I felt I should move on with my life and am currently dating a someone nw.

On 7th of this month,she called me on phone and told me she's back to the country ,I was excited a little and also surprise because they normally stay 4yrs anytime they move to a new country. So when I met her she apologized for ignoring me all those while. But the fact now is that she came back to Nigeria because of me and am already dating someone. I've been at war with myself.

What do I do?

Why are you at war with yourself?

Tell her to piss off or, better still, make her secondary girlfriend or string her along.

Grow some balls, man!

thareta: Smiling ,being friendly and all dt b4 u give ur num and then you later don't pick is highly pretentious and datz a scary attribute. D guy shld b glad sef not tu knw such a gal

It is rude, lacks courtesy and consideration. Many girls do that. They are more focused on the ego boost than being considerate to others.

Unfortunately for the guy, he has already invested so there is not much to be glad about. Investment is down the toilet.

thareta: Actually ur way is beter coz shez giving totaly out of her freewill n on d plus side, shez actually interested. Howeva most guys dt try calling immediateli du so tu ensure dey got d num right.

Omo, you have to type in proper English o.

I struggle to read textspeak. It is not something I am used to and takes me quadruple the time to read it than the time it takes me to read normal English. My brain just shuts down and I skip the rest. I could only read this (very very slowly) because it was one sentence. When it is longer, I tend to ignore.

I don't call immediately. If I am worried about if you are giving me the right number, I would put my phone in front of you to look at the number I pressed in if it was right. Calling immediately to verify is pathetic. I have only done that when the girl asked me to, which suggests she is interested.

https://www.nairaland.com/367394/angry-black-woman-fact-myth/2#5198241

If you are the type of girl that tells me "Oh sorry, I don't know my number off head" and start checking your phonebook list for a number to give me. I would laugh and say with a querying smile "I am surprised anyone does not know their number. Are you sure you are not giving me a fake number or a secondary phone number?", she replies "Oh no, I just got the number so I am yet to memorise it". No need to be arguing, no be court, I will say "Okay, go ahead, what is the number? If I call it twice and it is always off or no one picks up, I would just delete it".

thareta: Plsss dere are a few of ur fellow guyz who can't take no and no 4 an ansa.noticed I said a FEW o. u may not want tu believe it buh a few of dem act lik dt.as soon as ur walkin tu fast or doin sumfin else dey start askin u not tu embArss dem.av met sumone who griped mi by d arm and asked mi not tu embarass him datz probably one in a million cases buh oh well it apened. N yes sum oda guyz won't gt tu dt extent buh sum wil continue tu pester til u give up.and mi I can't start formin numba 4 u. My point is wen a gurl says. No and No pls let ha be.givin ha num does nt mean shez interested.so y waste ur tym? Wen probably d next gurl u meetz prettier interested n will readily give ha num. @op, abeg move on

I know and I believe it but the sensible thing to do is to say "No" firmly and unambigiously at least twice and if it does not work, then do give him the number and not pick up. Someone that is eager to be disrespected (through his persistence) and has not learnt waka passing deserves to be disrespected. It does not make sense to disrespect all men because of a few then complain when they do the same.

There are many girls that would smile with a guy, chat with him and get friendly before giving their number and then not pick up at first call or say "I am busy, can I call you back" the first time he calls and then never call back or pick up again. It happens frequently and if the guy does not have a chink armour or experience then it affects them like the OP.

[quote author=blogger1.0]Hey Sagamit I'd really like to get ur advice abt sumtin really important. Pls drop ur email address so I can send u a mssg...its really urgent n important! Or if u have a problem droppin ur email on a public forum, here's mine - tweakssss@gmail.com....I dnt mind. Drop a "hello" in my inbox n I'll reply u. tnx[/quote]I have already accepted your PM request from NL, so check your inbox and you should be able to contact me directly.

thareta: Hian! Sharp guyz wld cal d number dere and den tu confirm if itz actually ha num. She could save his name or at one glance knw wat d numbers look like wit out memorising all.am very good at dt I don't av tu store ur num tu knw who u are wen ur callin as long as av seen d num b4.

How demeaning!

Nah, thanks. I would rather call later and not have it picked up than to be trying to coerce or trap a girl to give me her number.

I am very capable of "waka passing" and "moving to the next". I am very long-term view oriented and know my advantages.

Idowuogbo: D babe stu-pid gan o! Y she no drop fake number? She drop orijo number come dey ignore phone call? Foooooolish gal! Poster, paste her number here ojere! Make I use her clean Sunday. Stupendous intete!

That is so last decade.

Nowadays they give bobos number and not pick up. It was years ago fake number was raining and if you get orijo number that means you basically have to call to book the date.

The 'orijo number and no pick up' is just a new way to piss on bobos' hussle because they can. It is a "Fck you! I will do it because I can".

Raymondenyi: Lol !!b hahahahaahahahah, u re really funny bro!!! Quite funny, nd if I may ask, y should dat bother U? Why? It only tells u re having a serious inferior complex u need to kill bro!!!
A gurl telling u dat only means she likes u very much n sees u as a friend, dats why she could tell u dat, moreso! It doesn't affect anything she has for yu!!! Not @ all, its normal yabis friends give to themselves...

My selve am average (abt 5.9) buh some of my female friends sometimes yab me short man! (Even d ones I am well taller dan) I just laff over it! I also yab dem sometimes, as well n life continues, it doesn't stop wat we doing or wat we enjoi!!!!
Infact it only gos a long way to tell she's really enjoying you and both of u are gonna rhyme just fine...... Go n enjoi her bro! N come tell ur big bro, d story

I would rather go with the more likely possibility that she said it because she is already aware he has interest in her [an ability which most girls are good at especially if the guy is as inexperienced as the OP] and she decided to let him know that, even though she would have considered him, his height is an issue to her. She is not straight with him because (1) she does not have, and does not think it is her responsibility to demonstrate, the principles to tell him straight, (2) she likes the idea of him continuing being around her as his attention, despite being destined to be doomed and not manifest into anything he wants, is good for her ego and makes her happy, and (3) she got some little pleasure from the disparaging schadenfreude. Generally most women are not very nice when they are in that position of power.

NL member: The inferiority complex is mind blowing.

Do they have inferiority complex too?**

[quote author=Reuben.Abati]You look gay by the way~[/quote]Another person creates an anonymous handle to challenge Sagamite.

Fear must catch you na.

Uyi Iredia: ^^^Yeah, funny name. I won't forget even in the grave.

@ Sagamite: Sey na u come get culture and co-te-si.

You heard different?

Profbenson: Mike obi,deserves to be Africa football of the year.
Stop beating youself,sell your kidney with just about 80,000,000 in india and its within three weeks.Can you call this number 08128249768.

There is no scam Nigerians would not get involved in.

SniperInADiaper: Im un-Nigerian

I like that answer.

I agree with it, at least on that single post.

SniperInADiaper: Why?

My answer depends on your reason for wanting to know

They are not known for courtesy and being cultured, and you are stating those in your post, which is rare.

See my signature.

SniperInADiaper: True... but where is the harm in a lady simply telling a man that she isn't interested... Some ladies wont do that which also gives guys misconceptions

Are you Nigerian?

Leysco: I met a lady at an event. After little conversation, requested for her number in which she gave me. It's been one week now she has not picked my calls.

You will find your answer somewhere here:

https://www.nairaland.com/962850/ladies-which-these-dating-evils

By the way, from the sound of it, I am assuming you are young so I would give you an older guy's advice: Don't listen to all the crap these girls are telling you on the thread about the girl doing you a favour or trying to help you. She just did not have the manners and guts to tell you she was not interested. She took a cowardly way out and gave you the number then did not pick up. She could have said 'no' so you know where you stand and waka pass.

But that is okay, if you learn quick, as a bloke, you will always laugh last. Then give 'paskor' when girls like her complain later when you too claim you are 'being nice' by being inconsiderate.