₦airaland Forum

1k001: @sagamite your language is unbecoming, it's unnecessary to go around calling people names. can't we all just have a civil discussion without degenerating to that level...

When someone is talking daftly, I will not waste my time debating, I will tell them what they are.

1k001: Now that's out of the way, i feel you misunderstood my point. Government legislating on morality is dangerous because accept it or not morality ends up being relative and once we get on that slope it is only downhill to who know where. sharia law for example has aspects of this moral legislation and many find it undesirable.

Where morality is to be taught and practiced is in the basic unit of the society i.e the family. What we need are strong families that work together for the good of children and the society. I will not wait on a bill on anti same sex marriage before i will teach my children than marriage is ordained of God and is between man and wife

Are you telling me that a society without dictated moral standards will be a sane society?

Do you know of any society in human history that does not have laws based on moral? Even the so-called modern societies of today?

1k001: Why i think this bill is misplaced is that there is virtually nobody clamoring for this bill whereas there are millions crying out for basic amenities. It behooves a concerned legislature to attend to the society's priorities not attempt to pass a bill on the bleeding obvious. Let's face it, it is hardly forseeable in Nigeria that a same sex couple will attempt to publicly marry.

A majority not clamouring for a bill does not mean the bill is not necessary or relevant.

With the aims and direction of the powerful countries today, the bill was very relevant.

It is a connected world today, all around you in the Westt, they are aggressively promoting homosexuality, it would be silly to wait before the impressionables in Naija gather before one acts.

Without this bill, some might be bold to start their sicko homo campaign as "human rights". And then some citizens might take the laws into their hands which is not good for anybody concerned.

I am sure a parliament can handle multiple bills expecially if some will fly through the process.

1k001: In the event that we do solve all the other pressing issues plaguing our nation and we have a credible danger to our values and family system then is the time to strictly define what marriage and a family are in law. I suspect that this definition probably exists in the current marriage acts or it may be amended accordongly.

Trust me, it is already a credible danger. And it is being addressed.

They are already forcing gay clergy on the churches for God sake.

If being addressed does not inhibit other issues being addressed.

1k001: For those who are not aware, homosexuality used to be classified as a psychological illness in the psychiatric diagnostic and statistic manual. It was removed some time ago as a result of pressure from certain quarters. I know for sure of psychiatrists and psychologists who were able to 'treat' it and return the individual to non sexual interaction with the same sex. The merits or otherwise of this is left for you to decide but the way to handle homosexuality for those who abhor it is not to criminalize or legislate against it but seek to show love and understanding

You are highlighting the problem yourself.

Whether such psychiatrists or psychologists can do such, they are being suppressed. That is waht makes the issue a credible danger.

In the UK now, you are damned if you speak publicly against homosexuality. The only acceptable public opinion is to support or praise it.

Thank God, the Naija parliament is not waiting for that.

[quote author=Sisi_Kill]If people would just substitute love with friendship, the romantic world would be less confusing.[/quote]With benefits?

I don't men Cameron's giro o.

Tgirl4real: U mean Kim? I'm her sister from anoda mother.

Oya, bring that body over here then. Let me see your Armenian DNA.

Tgirl4real: Well, yea. U love once, but dat don't say u can't love others. Let's say u truly bond with one person. Like ur soul mate.

Yeah, you can love others. But the argument is you love once and you love the others after less (basically gear 4 love).

jidegirl12: No I don't believe it's limited to high school alone... Saga when you meet '' the one'' you will know because the feeling will be mutual and you just can't take your hands off each other ( I'm speaking for myself tho),

sometimes you get choked up sef like when will this high school stuff end ( and that's when you get tested and I'm not thinking about cheating people!), like seriously!

It's not rare atall to Love if you hook the right fish and your feelings are mutual and you're in the same page...

or else you must have dated and disposed your potential wife ( oops!) and that's when people settle for what comes their way due to pressure.

Then Kanye West needs to get his hands off my one.

jennykadry: When you are Married to someone that still loves their ex or loves someone else, then you are not married to "the one".

I also edited and added a line in the post your quoted

Tgirl4real: I only agree to this if u don't find what u want in ur partner. That is, if d person is not loving u right.

My thinking about love:

https://www.nairaland.com/956935/road-redemption

Then that means jenny is wrong as love can be one way street.

armyofone: Romantic love is when he can bring home fat Bacons

Romantic love is when the dude is handsome with impeccable hygiene

Romantic love is when he briliant and doesn't ask me to solve calculus for management science.

Abeg make i see road, let's talk bank account and if you can cook.

And love is when you see 50% of his assets in a divorce court.

Tgirl4real: Na so u go like am. Balogun laarin obinrin.

Sagamite, pls interprete since u like doing dat.

Shuku shuku bambam in the midst of women.

carefreewannabe: I HAVE EDUCATED SAGAMITE!

From today on, I'll never again doubt myself and that I'm special.

I have made the impossible possible

I am a willing student of ashaworism for life!

carefreewannabe: Or you learn how to TRULY love someone new

Fixed!

Tgirl4real: Lol. Then that is selfish. Love is not selfish.

carefree has educated me it is.

Tgirl4real: Ok. Agree. Dat is where u commitment to eachother comes to play. Abi?

Or you move to a new flame like carefree suggested.

Tgirl4real: This thread is moving too fast ojare.

And na soso women boku for dia.

Thank you, Jesus!

stillwater: Exactly. So find that woman and see if you would not wait on her hand and feet.

So do you think love is forever? I think only Jesus Christ is capable of that.

Stop giving me Real Man lectures.

I am fine the way I am, I don't need to search for some solution like Siddhartha Gautama.

Let her come and find me.

carefreewannabe: I understand timestamp and duplicable but I can't make any meaning out of it. Be so kind and explain please.

Love is transient. It can be here today, gone tomorrow.

It might fade and end.

If it ends, you can replace the subject.

This is a paradox to soul mating.

J12: are there any anti-incest laws in the west?

Yep.

Tgirl4real: For the feeling part...

Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!

But it will be at varying degree. One will be more intense than others.

Secondly, u can't be committed to 2 ppl on d same level in romantic love. Damn! I used those 2 together. Lol

When people say...'I don't have a space for someone else in my heart cos I love my spouse', it's not cos it's impossible to get someone else in. It's cos they have decided to stay committed to dat person.

A decision is a choice.

Love is not a choice so that decision cannot be love.

carefreewannabe: I wouldn't even say many but, of course, I can't provide evidence.
Sometimes you can't forget your ex but as soon as you fall in "love" with somebody else you forget your ex COMPLETELY. Happens to many women disregarding age.
I don't believe you love once and from my experience you don't. Luckily we have the ability to love more than one person in a lifetime. I have also seen people who "loved" their 2nd or 3rd partner more than the previous one(s) or the later ones in a different way. Different scenarios possible.

I would even claim that the more mature we get and the more we come to terms with ourselves, our weaknesses etc, the bigger the ability to "truly love" someone.

So love does have a timestamp then and is duplicable.

stillwater: Buhahaha, when you are in love, you would drop all those sexist rubbish and go out of your way to please her with or without knowing it. You wanna bet? My bf is a living witness.

I only please women that please me.

I am a computer code, that is the instruction in my programme.

carefreewannabe: Very interesting but I still think that romantic love is selfish.
Imagine: You love a man but he feels like sleeping with other women. Would you accept it for the sake of HIS happiness?

Women are just too selfish.

Tgirl4real: Hmmm... I get dis point. Dis is the selfish love carefree is refering to.

Love in itself is not selfish. It is not about me me. It is sacrificial.

If we go with my def of love, true love never dies. Some of us love out of convenience. If we love for the right reasons and our partner loves us in return, I doubt there will be a timestamp.

Can we truly seperate romance from love like Stillwater said? I say yes, it's possble.

There is a kind of love only commitment sustains, like betrothal. We wee dis women committed to their husbands without any form of 'romantice feeling'.

Love is deeper dan just feelings.

I think romantic love always has a date stamp. After that, you work to keep a little of the embers alive.

Some timestamp are longer than others and some embers have better access to oxygen than others.

carefreewannabe: Not true!

That is right. I forgot to add "many".

I heard on a TV programme I was watching recently, a character saying: "You ever only love once". After that your mind is corrupted and the doubts are permanent (for most people).

Obviously some people get that love very late in life, but for most it is very early.

jennykadry: When you are Married to someone that still loves their ex or loves someone else, then you are not married to "the one".

I also edited and added a line in the post your quoted

Virtually all marriages I see are like that though. Even the successful one.

When ladies are far from their youthful years, they end up having some ex or past interest they always wish was "the one".

Someone like stillwater will always wonder "What if I ever met Sagamite. Would I not have been happier with his Alpha Male, chauvinistic and sexist arsse while I slave away in the kitchen".

jidegirl12: You know that kind of crush and butterflies we have in high school / Uni ? Yeah ....kinda like forever one cos Love never fades , it can be tested tho.... You just want the person more and when the feeling is mutual ? end of story ....it conquers everything.

Hmm. Good point!

But reality is that such crush and butterflies are usually only felt in high school and by love-virgins. So as we grow, we become love-ashawos.

Hence, basically, you are saying it is rare to love as we accelerate away from pubescence?

jennykadry: I have only met one soulmate and not two of them and I am speaking or myself.

Like I said. You feel a connection with this person that HAS NEVER BEEN FELT BEFORE.

I ALSO SAID that one can only be in love with one person at a time.

Saga, you asked wht a soul mate is, and I have told you it is that one person that "knocks" you out like never before and that goes both ways - male and female. So loving someone else from the past should be a diff question entirely as a soulmate focuses on the other person and the other person alone

So, I can only conclude, that a lot of people would never meet their soul mates and virtually all marriages are not amongst soul mates?

carefreewannabe: I like you more when you'Re less arrogant

I like me more when I am super arrogant.

stillwater: Now I see why you no wan get hitched. Your olojukokoro won't gree you.
What I have now is Mr Fantastic and Optimallllllllll!!!

You never know. You can't say that. You are yet to meet Sagamite.

carefreewannabe: What is romantic love to you?
How do you define it?

When I opened the thread, I planned to refrain giving my own opinions, I want to hear a wide variety of people's opinions on the topic.

jennykadry: @soulmate

It is complicated but I will try.

Someone with whom you feel a strong connection. A connection so strong that you haven't experienced ever with someone else prior.

Someone that understands you even more than you understand yourself. A soulmate is that one person that loves your "wrong" even more than he loves your "right". Someone that understands your weakness and accepts it for what it is-weakness. Someone who when he is not around you, you experience this feeling of loneliness and it hurts so bad.

That one person you meet that answers all you questions of love. That one person you meet that makes you stop searching.

Ps I'm mobile

No 1, that could be multiple people so are we saying soul mates can be more than one?

No 2, what if your soul mate that can do all that, despite doing all that, have someone from their past who they love more than you?

stillwater: No, I don't have such a potential to end up with mediocrity. As I said a lot of thought is put into it, a lot of scales are balanced and weighed, and the wheat is removed from the chaff, before I put a stamp on the decision. This drastically reduces the likelihood of aligning with below par elements. He automatically becomes my most prized possession after choosing him.

I never said mediocre, I said fantastic.

But someone might be a better fit than him that you just happen never to have met in time and at the right time.

So you end up with Mr Fantastic rather than Mr Optimal.

carefreewannabe: Now, let me ask you: Do you think that there is a different form of love between a man and a woman? An altruistic form of love? Love that gives and never claims?

No, I don't think so.

I think the feeling of love is genderless in its living form.

The willingness and the trigger that brings it to life are gender specific though.

jennykadry: People fall out of love for reasons best known to them. Debrief fell out of love with her ex.

There is a soul mate. when someone respects you and respects the love you have for them, they tend to hang around for decades

Choice as in choose to fall in love ni? I don't think we choose people we fall in love with, it just happens and I know we sometimes try to fight it but no matter how hard we try, it still stays put

But having seen things around me, I often ask myself if people know the difference between love and infatuation.

What is a soul mate then?