₦airaland Forum

A man escapes from a prison where he's been locked up for 15 years.
He breaks into a house to look for money and guns. Inside,

he finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair.

While tying the homeowner's wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of
her,

kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband whispers over to his wife: "Listen,

This guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes!

He's probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in
years.

I saw how he kissed your neck.

If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells
you.

Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you.

This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll Kill us both.

Be strong, honey. I love you!"

His wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my
ear.

He told me that he's gay, thinks you're cute, and asked if we had any
Vaseline.

I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too."



The man fainted

A Yoruba Man was sitting with an Ibo man and a Hausa man in Saudi
Arabia, sharing a smuggled barrel of beer, when all of a sudden the
police entered and arrested them. They were initially given a death
sentence but, as it was a national holiday, the sheikh decided they
should be released after each receiving 20 lashes of the whip. As they
were preparing for their punishment, the sheikh said, "It's my first
wife's birthday today and she asked me to allow each of you one wish
before your whipping, but you cannot wish not to be whipped!"

The Hausa man thought for a second then said: "Please tie a pillow to
my back before whipping." This was done but the pillow lasted 10
lashes.

The Ibo man saw this and said: "Please tie two pillows to my back
before whipping." This was done and lasted for the whole 20 lashes.

The Yoruba Man saw this, but before he could make his wish, the
sheikh said: "As you share the same ethnicity with the president of
your country, you are permitted to have two wishes!"

The Yoruba Man thought for a second, then said: "Thank you, most
royal and merciful highness. My first wish is to receive 100 lashes
with the strongest, toughest whip available." "If you so desire," the
sheikh replied with a questioning look on his face, "and your second
wish?" "Tie the Ibo man to my back."

:d

;d :d

A housewife, realizing that the housemaid had started behaving funny, decided to engage her one morning.



Madam: "Chinyere why you don begin dey behave anyhow these days?

E be like say u no wan know ya mate for this house again o!

Face no dey fear face for ya village?

"Abi you don carry craze for head?



Chinyere responded immediately: "Look at you, you call yourself Madam, which kind wife wey u be? Afterall my food dey sweet pass ur own, "



Madam: "Ehn!!!!! Who told you that you cook better than i do?"



Chinyere: "Na Oga now, "



Madam: "Lord have mercy!!! Papa Nkechi, ??!!!!!!!!? You will come and meet me in this house today, Na war between me and am today. Ohoooo no wonder, I don dey suspect this thing since, "



Chinyere: "No be all be that o, , I even better pass you for bed, "



Madam: "Yeepa, !!!!!!!!!, I'm finished!!! So, Papa Nkechi told u such thing too?"



Chinyere: "No, The driver said so."



Madam: "Uhmm!!!!!!!! , Chi-chi baby, Chinyerryerry, Chinlosky, Chichi of Africa …, come here my darling eehn, Good girl. Abeg no let Oga hear that one O. Devil no go pour Sand for Garri o, OK.

The below shall assist Nigerians to be more educated about the advantages of Islamic banking,
http://uk.biz.yahoo.com/02122009/389/best-savings-account-ve-heard.html

Although I am not comfortable with the man style of coaching but I still believe in continuity. I am afraid of the effect of changing him we likely change almost all the faces in the team. And is perhaps one of the problem faces also by Sia 1. I suggest we should criticize him, beg him till Nations Cup in Angola. Even send coaches on training and pray that they succeed.
To be honest, he has not performed terribly bad.

;d ;d :d :d :d

youngbest:
we lost e pain me
wetin pain me pass
na d way azeez and chukwudi cry
wen chukwudi was going 2 collect d fair play
he looked pretty young
we tried but we could have done better,
i tink d central defenders and azeez should graduate
to dere u-20 straight up,

Very good talk.

Azeez is a very good footballer

thank God i don't watch the match on the TV


the tension is better on the internet pls

Best of luck 2 super chicks

it is well o o o niger 4 life

i pray dey celeb

na wao for una o o o

ha-me-ri-ka


u'r 2 much

The truth about all these under-age competition is that 90% of the participating country does not field the true age of their players. Even I didn’t agreed with a poster that mentioned one or two countries assumed to field under 17 years player. They are either 20+, 30+, 40+. + + + + + +

Let us just enjoy the competitions o’jare
And allow the this guys make their own money jo

;d ;d ;d

sylve11:
Nice one

Papa Ejiro is a church warden in Warri and he is in charge of collecting the Sunday offerings.

One Sunday, after church service, the priest counted the money and discovered the offering was less than he expected.

Then the following confrontation took place.

Priest: Papa Ejiro, you take from the offering money?
Papa Ejiro: No, Fada, I no take.
Priest: I dey ask you again: Papa Ejiro, you take from the offering money?
Papa Ejiro: Fada, I say, I no take from the offering money.

Priest: Papa Ejiro, make you go enter for confession box now, now.
Papa Ejiro: No wahala.
(then they go to the confession box and they both take their seats).

Priest: Papa Ejiro, I dey ask you again. "You take from the offering money?"

Papa Ejiro: Fada, I no dey hear you.
Priest: (yelled at top of his voice)
Papa Ejiro, I say you take from the offering money?!
Papa Ejiro: (yelled back) Fada, I no dey hear you o!

Priest was now getting irritated. So he comes out of the confession box and tells
Papa Ejiro to trade places with him and says to Papa Ejiro 'ok, ask me any question you like l will see if person can hear from this side'.

Then, they traded places and this was how it went.

Papa Ejiro: Fada, na true say you dey sleep with Mama Ejiro?
The Priest replied: "My god, Papa Ejiro, na true you talk, dem no dey hear wetin person dey talk from dis side!!!! Its ok Papa Ejiro.

Jazakunlahi Airan for u wonderful guys

see what your Super Chickens does to our dear football supporters club chief.
i pity the man o o o

“Like all mortals, we would all die at some point; the important thing therefore is to what purpose we put this life that God has loaned to us.

dont mind the useless newspaper

we shall not buy the paper even if their news is free on net

Gani begins final journey home - Blind beggars, eminent Nigerians, pay him last respect
MANY Nigerians, including beggars, on Monday, visited the residence of the late legal luminary and human rights activist, Chief Gani Fawehinmi, to pay him their last respect, just as his body was laid in state at his Number 9A, Ademola Close, Ikeja GRA, for his admirers and fans to see.

The remains of Chief Fawehinmi were brought from the Lagos State University College of Medicine morgue to his residence by 1.00 p.m., in a Mercedes Benz car with number TOS 1, while a Mercedes Benz Jeep that conveyed his two wives was in front and his children followed behind the two cars.

He was dressed in white agbada and a green cap and black shoe. His body was placed in his sitting room for members of the public to pay their last respects.

Among the people that visited the family were 21 blind beggars, who came from Ebute Meta, Oyingbo, in Lagos mainland Local Government Area of Lagos State, to pay their last respect to a man who championed their cause while he was alive.

According to Zakare Hassan, who spoke on behalf of other beggars, they decided to come and condole with the family of Fawehinmi, because he was a man that showed them love when he was alive.

Prominent among those that visited his family on Monday were General Adeyinka Adebayo, the Yoruba Council of Elders (YCE) President; Mr. Marvel Akpoyibo, Lagos State Police Commissioner; Professor Bolaji Akinyemi, former External Affairs Minister; Dr. Kayode Fayemi, Action Congress (AC) governorship candidate in Ekiti State; Mr. Bayo Onanuga, Mr. Frank Ovie Kokori, Mr. Odia Ofeimun, Mr. Jimi Agbaje, Mr. Niyi Raheem, Dr. Muiz Banire, Lagos State Commissioner for Environment; Mrs. Dupe Adelaja, Justice Joseph Olubunmi Oyewole, Chief Ayo Adebanjo and Chief Victor Umeh of All Progressives Grand Alliance (APGA).

Speaking on the demise of Fawehinmi, General Adebayo said he would be missed for his honest criticisms and most of the things he said about the country that were yet to materialise.

He explained that those that hated him while he was alive because of his criticism have started appreciating him and that what he said about the country was honest truth. General Adebayo prayed that most of the things Gani criticised the government for were implemented.

Professor Akinyemi wrote in the condolence register: “Erin wo” (An elephant has fallen) the voice of the voiceless is asleep. Conscience of the nation is dead, a true patriot.”

Mr. Akpoyibo, while lamenting Gani’s demise, wrote in the register: “The news of your departure came to me as a rude shock. You were a great asset, not only to the legal profession, but to the entire nation. We are comforted by the fact that your legacies will continue to live.”

Mr. Agbaje and Mr. Raheem said Nigeria would always need a person like Gani, who was ready to champion the cause of the masses, and prayed that God should raise somebody that will replace him.

Kokori said that with the demise of Gani, the struggle for making Nigeria a better place could not be the same again , just as he expressed concern about the depleting number of committed democrats.

Chief Umeh urged those in government not to see those championing the cause for a better society as enemies of the government, because there was no substitute for a better society.
http://www.tribune.com.ng/08092009/news/news1.html

Erin wo

(An elephant has fallen)

Gold-mind:
Good step, I love dat. But let them also confisticate OBJ and Bode George and the likes of them.

I support you my guy

GANI FAWEHINMI will certainly be remembered as the number one Nigerian crusader for justice and rule of law.I prayed that the late lawyer’s soul rest in peace.

INALILAHI WAINA LAHI ROJIHUN
from God we all come and onto him we all return