₦airaland Forum

There were two nuns,

One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM),

and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).

It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.

SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for
the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.

SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.

SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes
at the most! What can we do?

SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.

SM: It's not working.

SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only
logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.

SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.

SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and
I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.

So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.



Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is
worried about what has happened to Sister Logical.

Then Sister Logical arrives.

SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here!
Tell me what happened!

SL: The only logical thing happened.
The man couldn't follow us both,so he followed me

SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?

SL : The only logical thing happened. I started to run
as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.

SM: And?

SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me

SM: Oh, dear! What did you do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.

SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.



SM: Oh, no! What happened then?

SL: Isn't it logical, Sister?
A nun with her dress up can run faster than man with his pants down.







And for those of you who thought it would be dirty,

I'll pray for you!

Watchout for Ekiti shows

I BELIEVE NOT ON AMODU, it will only be miracle if Nigeria qualify

all our money embezzled baba and sons o di gombe

see their face

;d ;d ;d

Say Baba

oju o`le da, Ole

See Baba face

Like father like son

;d ;d ;d

;d

culled from The Sun

Mojisola, estranged wife of Dr. Gbenga Obasanjo, son of former President Olusegun Obasanjo, has asked an Ikeja High Court to give a judicial order barring the press from covering the celebrated divorce case between her and the husband. She said that press reports have traumatised her and her children.

Gbenga, the petitioner, however, countered the request through his counsel, Emankhu Addah, urging the court to dismiss the application. He said, “the press is constitutionally empowered to report the proceedings.”

According to Mojisola in the application filed by her counsel, Mrs. Helen Ovnlen, the request has become necessary because she, her children and family have been greatly traumatized following series of publications on the matter.

Citing the matrimonial causes Act, sections 103 (2) and 108 (2), Mojisola’s counsel further prayed the court, presided over by Justice (Mrs) E. O. Williams Dawodu, to make an order directing that all other proceedings in the matter should not be published or printed by the media, pending the final determination of the suit.
She urged the court to grant the request, most importantly, because of the health of her client (Mojisola) and the children.

The counsel submitted that the press had, before now, “gone ahead to make sensational headlines of the proceeding,” which, according to her, have been prejudicial to the proceeding.
Opposing the application, Gbenga’s lawyer, Addeh said the publication being referred to by the respondent could not be referred to as libelous and defamatory.

He said the grounds which formed the basis of the application was well captured by the affidavit filed in support of the suit.
Following the arguments canvassed by the two counsels, Justice Dawodu deferred ruling till April 18, 2008.

The trial judge had earlier frowned at the reports carried

DAILY INDPENDENT ONLINE - NIGERIA
Mon, 21 Jan 2008 03:20:00
By Michael John,

Angrymichael2004@yahoo.com

The late English novelist, Rene Raymond (1906-1985), who wrote under the pen name "James Hadley Chase", put it nicely in his novel The Sucker Punch, "It is when a man is full of confidence that he is wide open for a sucker punch." Americans have always exuded more confidence and hubris about the American way of doing things and the American style and system that there have been wide open for a sucker punch for a while now. The punch has been long in coming, but now it has sneaked up on them in slow motion, and they are not any wiser.

Two families with "Abachic" (Sani Abacha-like) ambitions have grabbed their collective political jugular and threaten to nibble their souls away to suit their crotchets. The issue calls for serious prayerful concern; but to them, it is business as usual. Team Bush and Team Clinton are in a death struggle for the soul, not to say the spirit, of America. It is stranger than fiction and it is so complex that, I suspect it may be beyond the imaginative depth of the late Robert Ludlum, the conspiracy maze fiction maestro of the last century. As a matter of fact, the entire thing reminds one of the complex plots in Ludlum's bestselling novels in which international conspiracy (sometimes instigated by a family) would be his favoured motif.

Ludlum, I dare say, would have been proud to script a story like the following. Hillary Rodham Clinton (the antagonist) is the front-runner in the race to pick up the presidential nomination for the Democratic Party. Her aspiration has created more than a cognitive dissonance in the minds of some people, and it is a dissonance some have found irreconcilable. The African American, Barack Obama (the protagonist), is hard on her heels and latest poll shows her having a point advantage over Obama. She is a former First Lady and currently a Senator representing New York in the United States Senate. Of course, you should remember her as the First Lady who stood by her husband, Bill Clinton, when he, as president, was involved in the scandal "Monicagate". He was said to have had an illicit affair with Monica Lewinsky, a White House intern.

He survived the scandal by telling some truths in the final days of the "drama". Hear him, "Indeed, I did have a relationship with Ms. Lewinsky that was not appropriate. In fact, it was wrong. It constituted a critical lapse in judgment and a personal failure on my part for which I am solely and completely responsible." The "inappropriate relationship" became a national controversy, and after months of denial, the suave Bill Clinton finally decided to come clean with the above words, and asked Americans for forgiveness. He was forgiven.

His wife, Hillary Clinton, took "Monicagate" in her stride – better to marry a handsome philandering American president, than a saintly ugly pauper. Today, she is running for the same office her husband occupied and if she succeeds, two families would have been running America for close to three decades. The two families are the Bush family and the Clinton family, as stated earlier. So how can an egalitarian society like America not "emancipate itself from its mental slavery (by two families)"?

Perhaps, they are fed up with their present system and want to appoint monarchs to rule over them, which is all fair and good. Any of these sounds right for the said purpose: King Bill Clinton, Queen Hillary Clinton, King George Bush 1 and King George Bush II. Their main ally, Britain, could provide them with skill and knowledge on how to set up and run a monarchy – and at no cost.

The facts are stranger than fiction! George Herbert Walker Bush (Republican), the 41st President of America was in office from 1989 to 1993. He lost his second term bid to Bill Clinton (Democrat), the 42nd President (1993-2001). Having served two terms (the first Democratic Party president after Franklin Delano Roosevelt to serve two terms), Clinton handed over to the democratically-elected son of his predecessor, George Walker Bush (Republican). George Walker Bush, two term president (2001-2009), the present president, was elected for his first term in office in one of the closest elections in American history. It was so close that it birthed the phrase, "election too close to call". It was so close that President Clinton summed it up thus, "Americans have spoken, but it will take a while to determine what they said."

The current trend in America is almost too intriguing to call. If Hillary Clinton (Democrat) succeeds in her bid to become the first female president of the only surviving superpower; George Walker Bush, the current president, would be handing over to the wife of his predecessor. If Hillary rules for one term it would mean that the American presidency would have been in the firm grip of two families from 1989 till 2013 (a space of 24 years – a quarter of a century!) And if she rules for two terms that means the two families would have been in power for twenty eight years! This is not a spectacle for the democratically squeamish!

"Twenty-eight years" is arrived at by modestly believing that this hegemony would end with Hillary - but this hope is not founded on facts. Jeb Bush, the second son of former president George Herbert Walker Bush, is the current Governor of Florida. The present president was the governor of Texas before he became president. Jeb Bush also has his eyes on the United States presidency and may want to take over from Hillary, if she succeeds. His father and brother would provide the anchor for his campaigns, but will the Americans follow him? Sure they will! The Americans are a bit like the kids of Hamelin, they would gladly follow any pied piper who sings a nice political tune. (Having a husband or father who played them a pipe before, and they followed, is usually an advantage with the Americans.) They are always prepared to follow anyone who promises to lead them somewhere…anywhere. When George Walker Bush campaigned for the presidency in 2001, his father and mother were the leading figures in his campaign team and featured in almost all campaign materials. What is sauce for George would be sauce for Jeb – in 2013 or 2017.

Already Hillary Clinton is hitting the campaign trail with her husband and daughter, Chelsea. Chelsea is, debatably, the most exposed American woman to presidential campaigns. She was there when her father campaigned for his first and second terms. She campaigned with her mother for her (Hillary's) senatorial seat. She is back on the trail, this time to make her mother president. If you are wondering where all these would lead to, then you are not in the category of Albert Einstein as far as thinking is concerned. Chelsea is being prepared for the presidency of the United States of America and she would hopefully take over from Jeb Bush–if the U.S. presidential pendulum keeps swinging between Team Bush and Team Clinton.

Americans love tennis and this is a political tennis game between the Clintons and the Bushes. So far Team Bush have raked up twelve points (sorry, I mean twelve years) to Team Clinton's eight points (you must really forgive me, eight years). Bill Clinton is a good sportsman and he is not one to take losing lightly. So, since he has neither son nor brother to sponsor, he has put forth his wife. The amazon appears capable of redeeming the family honour and she seems to know her onions.

After losing unexpectedly at Iowa to Obama, the unseeded upstart who seems set to cause a major upset in the Clinton-Bush "conspiracy", Hillary put some histrionics into her campaigns in New Hampshire (she threw in some tears and "played" the woman). It always works and it worked in New Hampshire. You can handle a screaming woman, you can handle a henpecking woman, and a fighting woman – but a crying woman evokes such powerful emotive feelings that you will do anything to stop the tears from flowing. This was why the late Jamaican reggae legend, Bob Marley, sang the hit song, "No Woman, No Cry". If someone like Marley, who used to smoke marijuana, could not handle a crying woman, you would not expect sober Americans in New Hampshire to handle a crying sixty-year old woman like Hillary. She won in New Hampshire, of course.

If Americans were like rest of the world, they would have remembered the age-old nursery rhyme about the lion and the unicorn. It went this way, "the lion and the unicorn were fighting for the crown, the lion beat the unicorn all around the town, some gave them bread, some gave them flower and drove them out of town." Adjust that a bit and sing it thus, "The Clintons and the Bushes were fighting for the presidency, some gave them bread, some gave them flower, and drove them out of the White House."

That is how Ludlum would have ended the script… and that is how I wish this would, because they do not have the monopoly of knowledge or patriotism.

An elderly woman walked into the Bank of Canada one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money.

After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the president's office.

The president of the Bank asked her how much she wanted to deposit. She placed her purse on his desk and replied, '$165,000'. The president w as curious and asked her how she had been able to save so much money. The elderly woman replied that she made bets.

The president was surprised and asked, 'What kind of bets?'

The elderly woman replied, 'Well, I bet you $25,000 that your testicles are square.'

The president started to laugh and told the woman that it was impossible to win a bet like that.

The woman never batted an eye. She just looked at the president and said, 'Would you like to take my bet?'Certainly', replied the president. 'I bet you $25,000 that my testicles are not square.'
< BR>'Done', the elderly woman answered. 'But given the amount of money involved, if you don't mind I would like to come back at 10 o' clock tomorrow morning with my lawyer as a witness.' 'No problem', said the president of the Bank confidently.

That night, the president became very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of the mirror examining his testicles, turning them this way and that, checking them over again and again until he was positive that no one could consider his testicles as square and reassuring himself that there was no way he could lose the bet.

The next morning at exactly 10 o'clock the elderly woman arrived at the president's office with her lawyer and acknowledged the $25,000 bet made the day before that the president's testicles were square.

The president confirmed that the bet was the same as the one made the day before. Then the elderly woman asked him to drop his pants etc. so that she and her lawyer could see clearly.

The president was happy to oblige.

The elderly woman came closer so she could see better and asked the president if she could touch them. 'Of course', said the president. 'Given the amount of money involved, you should be 100% sure.'

The elderly woman did so with a little smile. Suddenly the president noticed that the lawyer was banging his head against the wall. He asked the elderly woman why he was doing that and she replied,
'Oh, it's probably because I bet him $100,000 that around 10 o'clock in the morning I would be holding the balls of the President of the Bank of Canada !'

father ab:
The national dailies this morning carried the news that Nwakwo kanu is likely person to succeed the foreign super Eagles coach Berty Vogts. In some of our matches he performed more actively than the confused coach.

We all agree he is a gifted player, but can he make a talented coach? Is he the messaih we need in our national team?

Can the information be true?

they are not serious, the should name the real man (Adedibu) as well as his son for the allegation.

Nigeria Army are the best in Africa but with the worst Police see the below

is the information true?

It is a very sad end for the Super Eagle of Nigeria. I am very sure that the player felt the pain of their lost as well as over 100m Nigerian. But, “the down fall of a man is not the end of his life”
I shall be delighted if individual can educate us on some problem that is affecting the Nigeria football, perhaps will can pray they dance to our tune.
Is the problem of Vogts and other technical member?
Is it the problem of the football administrator in Nigeria?
Is it the problem of the individual player?
Is it the competition itself that is very challenging?
Or the problem of the star players on the team etc?

It was a sad end for the Eagles, but I only hope they learn from their mistakes.

sabak:
THERE SHALL BE WAILING IN ACCRA
THERE SHALL BE GNASHING OF TEETH
BROTHERES SHALL RISE AGAINST BROTHERS
AND THINGS SHALL FALL APART
AS THE CENTERE WILL NO LONGER HOLD
IT WILL BE GAME UPON GAME
SOCCER UPON SOCCER
PRESSURE UPON PRESSURE
ITS WILL BE EAGLES AGAINST THE STARS
NERVES WILL BE BRUISED
TEMPERS WILL BE FLAYED
TALENTS WILL CLASH
BUT AT THE END, THE CLAWS OF THE EAGLES
WILL PULL THE STARS FROM THEIR ORBITS.
BY THE CLOSE OF BUSINESS
IT SHALL BE THE EAGLES PECKING AT THE BITS
AND PIECES OF THE SHATTERED STARS.
TRULY THERE SHALL BE WAILING IN THE LAND OF KWAME


THE SHREDDING OF FORM BOOKS JUST BEGAN

Good words.
Ghana is improving with every game, although they are not very good team. But with determination and Seriousness of the Super Eagle they shall survive.

:-x :-x :-x

the guy is good

My friend stops crying. Although Ghana is a good team with very impressive mid-field but if Nigerian play with determination couple with a little luck we may be through to the next round. Honest, I am no expecting anyone to guarantee the outcome of the match; Niger team can be impressive and otherwise. I only pray we win the match.

admirelust:
who is kanu,he is too old 4 d game,he use to fall down,i think we need sum body like okocha as in a scorere

Kanu is not that bad but very impresive if use in the 2nd-half. That low rated coach (Vogts) should know how, when to use any player.

We are only lucky. The team can fumble and wobble to the final with a little luck, who knows

Thank God we won the match. But I don’t know what to expect from the Ghana match. Kanu was impressive on the bench.

Na waooooooooooooooooo, for this country

power

oziomatv:
why not call back evguarvon?

Eguavoen even perform better than that Vogts. Vogts is Nigerian Team problem.