₦airaland Forum

Na why una no dey sabi book again

Gmajor:
not funny

let's see urs instaed and see how funny u are

Ever since the Vice president came out to ascertain that he has lost Both his Bsc and MSc certificates to fire, the phrase has caught the eye of the youth and social media users hence the trend #ILostMyCertificate

You get jokes like

#ILostMyCertificate I think Jonathan took it

#ILostMyCertificate Am sure Bingo ate it

#ILostMyCertificate Its probably with Boko Haram

Someone once told me that the type of music a society
listens to is a reflection of that society; therefore the
chaotic music that has in recent time rented the
Nigerian airwaves is a pure reflection of the chaotic
state the country is in. It looks like in the history of
Nigerian music, 2014 has the highest rate of bad,
garbage music being churned out. From watered down
lyrics that do not correlate, to singing different songs
on same beat, the state of the industry leaves much to
be desired. Mind you, this cankerworm of garbage
music is also eating deep into the fabric of the
international music scene. Each time a song or video of
the likes of “ilovemakonnen”, “Nicki Minaj” and so on
comes up on my airwaves, I just can’t! It’s really sad
that the good sounds, with good messages don’t make
it to the mainstream anymore. Nigerians, like the rest
of the world appear to care more about catchy beats
rather than good message. Below are my top 10 picks
of worst hit songs of the year 2014. You may or may
not agree with me though. Some of you may also need
to listen to these songs carefully to understand my
points well…
10. Hakuna Mata by KCee
This song is senseless from the word go!
He started like this “Five star music, E money, Its Kcee
labalo”. What is ‘KCee Lobalo’? Is ‘Lobalo’ French or
Spanish?
In another part of the song, he said “Cecilia bum bum,
cecilia bum bum, Shebi na your bum bum, cecilia
bum”. I don’t know what’s with Cecilia’s bum bum o..
Most part of the song also goes like this..”Oya whine ni
ni whine ni ni Whine ni ni for me oh, Oya shake e ni,
shake e ni, Shake e ni for me oh, Oya whine ni ni whine
ni ni, Whine ni ni for me oh,
Oya shake e ni shake e ni,
Shake e ni for me oh”.
Somewhere, he said “Oya Jikere, baby”…
As if that wasn’t enough, he also repeats this severally;
“Oya baby no wahala, If you need anything just hala, I
be monkey you be banana..”
Hellooo, did he just call himself a monkey…
Then in the middle of these discordant lyrics, this
monkey will jump to the lame chorus “Hakuna Matata,
Hakuna mata, Baby No Wahala” repeatedly.
9. Baby Hello by Wande Coal
This is one of the biggest hits of 2014. It started on a
slow pace and then grew to become a monster in our
ears, but I’m not surprised that he is making this list
because this guy has always sang nonsense.
Remember “Bumper to Bumper” where he sang, “…See
I never see na party like dis, wey gbedu dey make
people high like dis, Dey jolly like say dem dey smoke
cannabis,Dey dance like say dem dey fight Chinese
(Woo Haaaa)”
*pls take note of the fight” Chinese*..continue:
“Das why I blow the golden kiss, na for all of una I dey
blow dis kiss, No be 10kobo na golden kiss, As una don
join me dey rock like dis, take dis kiss make you follow
me..,” isn’t it strange that a Black Diamond is blowing a
golden kiss??
Now see what Wande Coal is still giving us in 2014
“Baby hello, sweety banana(this one too is mentioning
banana again)…Eh she’s rocking Versace,Who’s Nikki
Minajy, Dancing like she dey fight Karate Eh, (must he
mention fight? In Bumper to Bumper, it was fight
Chinese, now it is fight Karate).”
Here is the stage that seriously confused me in the
song;
“Efo to lata, mrs Idikunle, Efo to gbe pomo mi, bi Kunle
Eh, your body bad but sisi ti kun le Idi kunle”. ‘Efo to
lata'(vegetable soup with pepper) and ‘Efo to gbe pomo
mi’ (vegetable soup with Ponmo) what are they doing in
this song?
Who is Mrs Idikunle? Who is Kunle?
My fellow Yoruba’s and anybody who knows the
language well will easily understand the senselessness
of this lyrics.
Finally, this is where the dude spoils everything…
“Comment tu t’appelle? Je m’appelle Wande Coal( I
understand that), but I’ll be grateful if anyone could
help me make sense of the rest of that verse…”She be
dancing *****, *****”
What did he say there?
Wande Coal even repeated his French in one of Flavor’s
songs currently reigning…
“Comment tu t’appelle? Wande Coal, Mr Flavor eh”, like
he can really speak French.
8. In my bed by Wizkid
It’s been long established that this song by Wizkid is a
total rubbish, which like the others on this list parades
lyrics and verses that have no business whatsoever
with one another. The song na real Americana Wonder
like he sang… “Americana wonder,The way you whine
your body Gimme thunder, I go follow you bumper to
bumper Girl, I go follow you bumper to fender,”
(Na Wa o, your body gimme thunder, bumper to
fender.. Issorait)…
But the most fraudulent part of the song is where
Wizkid continues to sing about wanting a girl’s body in
his bed, and then suddenly switched to calling names
of some popular figures. You’d have thought he was
trying to invite them for a Group Intimacy…
“I want your body sleeping in my bed e, I want your
body sleeping in my bed e, You got me going crazy, Oh
girl I can’t explain it, Your body so insane, Oh girl I can’t
replace you.”
Some of the names he called..Agbaje eleniyan,
Fashola eleniyan,Tinubu eleniyan,Otedola eleniyan,
Baruwa eleniyan, Aliko eleniyan, Saraki eleniyan.
Then next is this part which always gives me stomach
ache, because I really don’t know what ‘serving a living
God’ has to do with getting a girl’s body in your bed and
what blessing is there to get…”…Oh blessing follow me
everywhere I go, I’m serving the living God,And
everywhere I go, all my people show me love,
Just tell me the reason gan”
Ok, so what’s the reason gan sef? And on top of all dis
matter wey dey ground, wizkid believes that he is
amazing.
Hear him..”Oh anytime, they hear my song They say I’m
amazing gan”.
Well, it’s truly amazing that a small boy like him can
make so much money and stardom with all that
hogwash of a lyric. Issorait!
7. Dorobucci by Mavins All-stars
This is probably the biggest hit of 2014. Don Jazzy is a
great producer no doubt, but he and his artistes have a
history of churning out garbage. Dorobucci is so
meaningless some people began to doro-call it doro-
occultic. Doro bloody. .Doro
Doro doro do do doro….doro. Where I come from in
Oyo state, Doro is that rubber device used in drawing
up water from a well.
Unfortunately,this is a country where an artiste will just
wake up early in the morning and find out that PHCN
has brought back power supply, then out of joy he’ll
dash straight to the studio to record a song about UP
NEPA! He’ll call that an inspiration. Even Don Jazzy
himself is yet to come out straight about the meaning
of Doro, because the truth is that it has no meaning. A
lot of people are speaking well of the maturity of
Davido’s song because the boy knows well to pay for
the services of professional songwriters.
6. Shoki by Lil Kesh
I hated this song for a very long time, however I had no
choice but to like it after people won’t stop playing it
everywhere I go. Even the NBC ban did absolutely
nothing to stop people from rocking this song which
had the artiste mostly screaming “Shoki Ahhh Shoki”.
Davido however disappointed me this time around for
accepting to feature in this kind of song. He ended up
chanting the rubbish shoki along with the YBNL crew in
the remix.
Hear him;”Oya show me shoki, shoki shoki, everybody
shoki, shoki shoki, and the request say shoki, shoki
shoki, everybody shoki, shoki shoki, oya show me
shoki, shoki shoki, everybody shoki, shoki shoki, oya
shoki, shoki shoki
shoki, shoki shoki… i am looking for that shawty,
with the baddest shoki,
when everybody they shoki,
abi you still dey look for johnny, but if you get case for
body, the town will go make you the shawty,david
please don’t stop it,
i wanna see you drop it now,
for me now, on this ground
oya daun.”
Those are the words our generation is digesting and
we wonder why over 70% of candidates failed the last
private WAEC and there is massive failure especially in
English Language.
By my rough count, there is a total of 200 “Shoki ahh
Shoki” in this song!
5. Shake Body by Skales
Need I talk much about this one? You sef check out part
of the lyrics na…
” Oya shake body, Oya move body,Make you ring alarm
o, Oya shake body…Ah coupe decale ma,Sagasige,
Akilibre,Faro de ma, Decale….decale, Krikata,Krikata
,Krikata, Krikata,Krikata,Krikata,
Krikata,Krikata,Pon pon,
Somunto….somunto,
Kalopere, Kalopere, Kalopere”
Now, what’s all that about
4. Murder by Seyi Shay ft Patoranking, Shaydee
If you listen to this song, even though it featured
Patoranking and Shaydee, all you will hear for most
part of the song is “She say she wan murder, he say he
wan murder, she say he wan do that thing ye” Do
wetin? Murder who You be Oscar Pistorious? …
Now, checkout the lyrics of the Verse 2 of the song
where Patoranking came in again..
“Stay close to me, baby girl come in here Indecency,
Give other girls resist, them fit hate on, Member and
you alone me rate hun, Even your friends them fit hate
on, Fire burning, Girl I’ll keep you coming,Say you no
go running, Every time, girl you keep turning.”
That’s Patoranking, Nigeria’s best Reggae singer at the
moment? SMH!
3. Shekini by Psquare
There is a popular Yoruba proverb which says that
when a child is due for maturity, he/she must put aside
every childishness.
After many years and despite their A-list status in the
industry couple with their global experience, the
Psquare duo are obviously not getting matured at all
with the dissapointing inclusion of the track “Shekini” in
their latest album. I won’t speak too much, see the
lyrics yourself.
They started the song this way…
“P-Square eh eh, Yahn ahn, (Allen [4x]), Yahn ahn”
**who is Allen for crying out loud?**
Then, they said “Lets go…Otu de, oya sare wa gba
kekere, kerewawo, Atu ti de, oya burukutu make e
sarabara owey, (Oya shekini ni ni ni ni [3x]),Oya
shekina na na na na.” (And what is “Burukutu” doing in
there.)
Folks, don’t be fooled, the lyrics sounds like Yoruba but
it’s not correct Yoruba but a mumble-jumble!
Another constant in the song is this verse; “I get power
(ah), me I no dey bother, (ehn ehn)
I no be footballer but I sabi budey Ronaldo,” then they
jump to this lyrics “Take it (slow),Take it (free),
Alhaji (ehn ehn),Ehn ehn (listen),Take it (ahn),
Take it (orijo),Alhaji (okay)
Ehn ehn (hmm)”.
Who is this Alhaji? Well, maybe the Alhaji is supposed
to drink the burukutu they mentioned above.
2. Ogaranya By Kcee ft Davido
Now, I’m sorry KCee has to be in this list a second time.
Personally, I’m kind of confused about him. Maybe his
music is not that awkward. Maybe it’s his
gesticulations/dance steps in his videos, costumes or
tone of his singing voice or his general fashion sense
that is awkward and give off an impression of his songs
from that perspective. I’m yet to place a finger on what
it is. Most of the people I’ve asked have mixed
reactions as well. They really’ can’t say. Ogaranya has a
good meaning; A rich person or something like that.
Some things are just wrong with part of the lyrics and
Davido once again rubbished his own brand on this
one. Check it out;
Intro (Davido)
“A le le le le le le le le le le
On the beat is Del’B…
Its Davido,Kcee Big Boy, E-money”
Now, even though there is a funny way they keep
repeating Ogaranya, I really don’t have a problem with
the Chorus which goes thus;
“Everybody wanting to be a big ogaranya,Nobody want
to sit down dey look ogaranya,Everybody wanting to be
a big ogaranya,Nobody want to sit down dey look
ogaranya, My God dey bless me, ogaranya
No be my fault o, ogaranya
Believing e no do o, ogaranya,Imaya heyyy…
Everybody like ogaranya,
Mama and papa e like ogaranya, The ladies like
ogaranya, That’s why them dey love me”
However, the next statement is what I really don’t get…
“The place is so cold, e dey follow, Dey for body like
logo”..(which place is he talking about? Which place is
so cold?)
Davido made it worse at the verse 2 as his contribution
does not relate at all. He sang..
“Girl I want you to know, The way you see no be so.., E
get as the thing dey go, So baby you take am slow
(Asin??) Shey na now you dey notice,(notice wetin) Abi
u think I be novice, You know say I know say you get it,
Money dey(I thought Davido is supposed to be the
Ogaranya and not the girl?), Oya make we blow
things”(now that is a Boko Haram alert. Beware guys.)
1. Body by Black Magic ft Banky W
The song has now been edited. ‘Sex’ has been replaced
with ‘eh’ but the rest of the lyrics is still as worse as the
original. You can imagine my embarrasment the first
time I heard this song on Channel O. You know how
Naija artistes like to cover up sexual explicitness with
slangs? This brazen artiste called Blackmagic didn’t
cover up anything. Lol. Though the song was released
in December 2013, I feel it’s as good as being a 2014
song and should be on this list to show you how bad
the music industry has become and what your children
are listening to. Here is a part of the song;
“…So stop the fronting, Is what I told this girl,And her
body oh oh, Just wanna get next to you, Just wanna
have sex with you, I swear I want this girl and her body
o o”.
You na never see anything, continue..
“1, 2, 3, Then begin 5, 4, I’m splitting a dozen like 3, 5,
4,I am already sky high, but I need to high more, And
my dumb friend told me that I need high malt Ewo.”…
(Did you see what this guy is singing? Isn’t he as dumb
as his dumb friends? Show me your friends and I’ll tell
you who you are).
See another one here…
“Baby girl what’s cooking in the kitchen, I love the way
you smile, maybe we should start kissing, Listen 30
seconds, then she takes a bra missing, Turn into a
small kitten, And after a while we start gripping,
And after a while o she turns into a river, And then I
start fishing into her hot body, I begin to start dipping,
Her clothes just start missing”.
Hmm,Guys what more can I say? Behold, your
favourite music in 2014.

iykepromotions:
from your signature your domain name is very good. just a 5 letter word. if you sell this website in the right market place, you will certainly smile to the bank but nairaland is not one of those places. just 2 months ago ebola.com was sold for $200,000 USD by it's owner. insurance.com $35.6m while insure.com was sold for $16m in 2010. i have equally gotten my share from this industry and one of them was when i sold danbaba.com for $550 USD from an investment of less than $10 dollars. all these i listed was to encourage you.

thanks for the info, kindly gimme the actual domain name of those sites

Sparkle777:
19 kids? Wow, and I was thinking he has over 30. Its still okay. Wat did he say abt sleeping wit his sons wife? I nid to get dat book. Anyone?

the book is 20K

PerfumeRepublik:
That a football team, with enough reserves.
This book is getting Free hype everyday, Good for Obj.

what hype? I work with Obj and my office is responsible for the sales of this book. You lknow ow much it goes for N20000. So its a book for the selected few...Hyping don't work here

samflexxy:
Na wa o @ your age you can't woo a girl


Make I advice you sha


Next you want to watch film with her on your system put bf or american pie. Then if she start touching you touch her back


Go to her room with condom sha

Thank me later

Don't get me wrong, I don't wanna ask her out. Just wanna do tha thing

woky:
She could as well have nothing in mind..

I don't think so, she always seems to deliberately place her hand, sometimes on my thigh and this could go on for like 30min and almost everyday.

There is this girl in my crib. I have not been so attracted to her in anyway so much like that, but she is quite okay, recently, my Generator got spoilt, so I resorted to her room to charge my gadget, especially my laptop.

She loves movies a lot and I got loads of that on ma system, so she would always ask us to watch movies together.

What amazez me is that this girl will always find a way to move closer to me and touch any part of my body, she eventually leaves her hand or her feet on me for like 30minutes.

Am getting attracted to her, but I don't wanna ask her out. I just want us to get down with eachother and nothing more.

How do I make this happen? Advice from matured people please.

slightlyMad:
congrats to wizkid

meanwhile some cheap low-lives were busy taking pix of your rolex bragging around town the had it with you
when actually you used them to while away time after a long day in the studio
just like using tissues after a long time in the restroom

wetin this one dey talk

iykepromotions:
hello, don't be discouraged by some comments here cause many are still newbies in online businesses. i will advice you to go internationally if you want to sell your blog for a good money. flippa.com,sedo and afternic are very good places you can summit your website or domains and receive bids. let me know if i can help you more

thanks bro, I will surely get in touch

dhtml18:
According to blogcalculator (http://www.blogcalculator.com/), your blog is worth only $23.79. Less than 5k actually.

come pay N1 . The content of the blog is invaluable. We let our lives be decided by some stupid algorithm. Reason y Africa lags so behind

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Thanks

osile2012:
[size=15pt]No Reduction ?[/size]

call me 08038606260

As for me, I try to make it so simple and just go for a drink of her choice and 1piece of snack.

I won't even ask her what she cares for. I just ask what kind of drink she takes and goes straight to the counter to get it


What about You

Naija I Hail oooo



Visit www.86wiz.com www.86wiz.com www.86wiz.com www.86wiz.com FOR NAIJA SEX STORIES

jboy73:
How many 100 Naira u 1 sell am?

its N30000 sir

StellaGh:
10 Qualities Men Want In The Women They Date Or Marry!!http://stellaholic..com/2014/12/10-qualities-men-want-in-women-they.html

.

Check it out here www.86wiz.com

It has minimum of 2000pageviews daily

As for me, I love the part where we say the GRACE

Pack Commot for the area.

asodeboyede:
A river that forgets it's source would dry up!
Odo kin shan kogbabe orisun!

Ki leleyi nso

Odo Ko, Okun ni

What Will you Do

FrontPage Things

If Mohammed no go meet mountain, mountain go go meet mohammed

If the last 5 digits of your phone number was your salary. How much will it be

Mine is 86 420

WE ARE NOT BLESSED.
"Forty nine innocent little boys were butchered by Boko Haram in their schools on November 10, 2014 as they resumed class in Yobe state. The question must be asked: is there any limit to the depravity of these monsters and those that secretly support and encourage them?
I may not know much but one thing that I know is this: the spilling of innocent blood has terrible consequences for both the land on which it is spilt and for those that spill it. I am talking about long-term generational consequences.
This is the more so when that blood is the blood of children. Our girls are kidnapped from their schools, abducted, raped, married off and sold into slavery and we call ourselves blessed.
Our little boys are bombed to smithereens in their schools, their young lives are snuffed out, there is no sense of outrage and no one is brought to book yet we call ourselves blessed.
Our level of sensitivity has been seared to a point that we don’t care anymore and we are no longer moved when we hear about the horrors being inflicted on our people yet we call ourselves blessed.
When will we appreciate the fact that there is something fundamentally wrong with us? I had every reason to feel so sad on the day that the news from Yobe came but my initial sadness was quickly overwhelmed by a deep and burning rage.


The saddest aspect of it all is that even now, most Nigerians still can’t see or feel that evil despite the daily bombings, killings, abductions and kidnappings.
The truth is that until Boko Haram takes over the entire north and knocks on the gates of the south, Nigerians will continue to act as if the whole thing is no big deal and that whatever atrocities that Boko Haram commit really doesn’t matter. That is how short-sighted, insensitive, depraved and ignorant we have become.


We are a people that have no conscience and we no longer care when our citizens are treated like filth or slaughtered like flies. There is no other country and no other people in the world that suffers from our particular type of affliction. We are suffering from a strange disease.


Nigeria is not blessed, she is cursed and she is in dire need of deliverance. If we were not cursed how can we act as if all is well and how can we be normal after 49 of our school children were bombed to death in one fell swoop.


This single outrageous and horrendous act is enough to traumatise most nations and most people for the next ten years, but not us. Most of us are indifferent: we shut it out and act as if it never happened.
We are a strange land of strange men and women. We are a land where the nepthalim hold sway. We are a land that enjoy to watch others suffer injustice, persecution and wickedness and where the youth would rather rant on facebook and twitter than risk their lives by marching on the streets and demanding change.


We are a land that despise the learned and that celebrate ignorance. We are a land that hates the truth and that worships mammon. We are a land where courageous and righteous men suffer hardship, humiliation, injustice and persecution whilst evil men are reverred and exalted.
We are a land that claims to love God but that does everything that is contrary to

His counsel and His will. We are a land where brother eats sister and where sister eats brother. We are a land where parents trade off the future, the destiny and the glory of their own children for a pittance and where men sell their souls to the devil for fame, power and wealth.


We are a land where children are killed and maimed, where women are dehumanised and turned into desperate harlots by virtue of the circumstances in which they are forced to live and where evil is nurtured, encouraged and glorified.


We are a land that continues to dance, to make merry and to rejoice even as it’s weakest and most vulnerable citizens are butchered and even when it’s very own children are slaughtered like christmas turkeys and sallah rams. I see all this and I say shame on us all: from the highest to the lowest we have all failed. From the pauper to the prince and from the servant to the king we are all guilty. Shame on us, more than 8thousand nigerians have died and over 1million have become homeless becoming refugees in their own country..800thousand have fled to neighbouring countries, Yet we pretend as if nothing is wrong. Eagles played last night in uyo without holding a minute silence in respect for the dead boys and u expected them to win? We are a heartless nation.


Our hope and salvation lies in one thing and one thing alone: the love of the Lord God of Hosts, the mercy of the Ancient of Days and the grace of the Living God. I have little doubt and abundant evidence to prove that He still loves us despite the evil that is inherent in us...


A couple of weeks back a courageous Canadian soldier was killed by an insane terrorist who stormed the Canadian Parliament and who held their political leaders hostage until he himself was killed. The whole world rose up and condemned this callous act and rightly came to a standstill.
Most importantly the Canadian government and people honoured the dead and paid him tribute after tribute. It was very moving and highly appropriate. That soldier deserved no less. Everyone in Canada, and indeed throughout the civilised world, was talking about it and people were very sad.


That is how normal people and normal countries are meant to react to such things and that is how sane and civilised people are expected to behave. Yet in Nigeria it is not so. In this country hundreds of our people are slaughtered in 100 different ways and abducted every week and there is no sense of panic or alarm.


There are no tears, there is no urgency, there is no passion, there is no anger, there are no demonstrations or demands for those that commit this evil to be brought to justice, there is no support for our security agents and military, there is no sense of national outrage and most important of all there is no genuine empathy or sympathy for the victims and casualties of terror even though most of them are women and children. It is just business as usual and our nation is flying on auto pilot. Let us hope and pray that we don’t eventually go into free-fall and crash.