₦airaland Forum

babyjowo:
It is pretty frustrating that the main concern of some Nigerians is our 'image'. What 'image' do we have at this point in time anyway? Is it with all the depressing things going on in the country?  Heck who cares about any damn image when the country is in shambles and the good leaders are so outnumbered and impeded that they might as well just go home.  

Its just like an anorexic girl who is dieing slowly inside yet starves herself some more to make sure that she looks skinny before she eventually dies. I think they should keep refusing to show nice pictures. If they were to take pictures at random to broadcast the odds are against the nice pictures anyway.

Any network can broadcast as many 'bad' pictures as they can possibly lay their hands on as long as they link the nasty pictures to the horrible leadership in Nigeria. I don't mind one bit. It would be nice if they could help the country in some way no matter how little even though they are not obliged. Something has to activate the consciences of those in the high places.

God bless you for this statement. . . . .

I welcome pictures like this 24/7. . . . . .It will unmask the dark activities of our useless Politicians who seem to paper the cracks whenever they are granted an exclusive by CNN or BBC. . . . .Pictures like this tell the whole world things are not okay in Nigeria no matter how much we beat our chests and chant "NIGERIA - The Giant Of Africa"
I am not going to defend a country where a scammer is born in every 5 minutes. . . .HELL NO!!!

Beaf:
I wonder who sounds angry between the both of us? Stop waxing sentimental, just provide counter figures from any credible place you can source them. . . None?

This dude is genetically deluded. . . . .Where did i say anything about you enrolling in anger management classes?
Are you dyslexic or suffering from the madras eye?

You have been told by massa, that Nigeria is the email scam capital of the World and when presented with unshakable proof, you react by taking the whip from massa and whipping yourself raw. Its much the same effect the pictures have, the weaker ones whip themselves to pieces.
I am saying, look at what is being presented, put sentiment aside, analyse it and react positively; don't tell me my country is useless as you did earlier or lie down and die to lies about Nigeria being the email fraud capital, instead, sit back and think, it is useful.

Mr Foolish, the moronic statistics you provided is about SPAMMING. . . .which is quite different from SCAMMING.
I think you need to check your dictionary and see the difference. . . .
Your country is useless - there i said it and it is people like you trying to defend the indefensible that has made it more useless.

toba:
Correct. Any squad without muller ozil, schweinsteiger and lahm is fake

Nonsense. . . .

              Casillas

Ramos  Puyol   Lucio   Contreao

               Van Bommel

         Xavi                 Sneijder
                     
 Villa              Forlan           Mueller

Beaf:
What you call "techno-fuckno lingo" is really the sound of yourself running in terror from facts and figures. Charlie, where are your own figures to buttress your arguments? None?

I don't need to run to Wikipedia to pick holes in your nonsense theories.

There's no point in me having a debate with a plonker who cannot discern the difference between spamming and scamming.
U need to go back to school or better still, sue your handlers and teachers cos they really did an awful job training you.
I can perfectly understand your anger now - Half baked graduates always seem to think the world is against them in every matter.

Stinking swine!!!

Beaf:
Maybe you need to read up on the proportions of spam that are fraudulent? Or you need to know about botnets, viruses, phishing and just how spam is sent? maybe you didn't notice that Sophos (an anti-virus maker) furnished some of the figures in my earlier post?
Thats where the real crime is, it is huge and sophisticated; not the sort of tiny operations from some half literate conman having a go from an internet cafe in Akoka. . . But trust about our self flagellators helping to sink our name as a scam capital! They've got your mind, son (and thats what they want)!

Talk about whipping yourself harder than massa ever will.

You are a stark illiterate.
When spam involves any fraudulent act then it is reported as a scam.
Don't lump the two together with your techno-fuckno lingo and think you are making any sense.

Nigerians are the biggest scammers in the world - you have to be a consummate retard to disbelieve it.

debosky:
As for the antics of Puyol and Pique - if wearing a man's trousers doesn't make a lady grow a ding dong, wearing a Barca jersey cannot make Cesc a Barcelona player.

Time will surely tell. . . . . .

Beaf:
Why don't you post pictures of the nicer parts of Nigeria and see if BBC will publish them? I have tried such things, have you?

Like I said, Iwonder how CNN manages to find so many positive African stories, but the BBC simply can't find any? Instead they take to publishing  derogatory pictures and receiving "phone calls" from Yar Adua.

I guess the bolded pretty much sums up how you feel about your identity as a Nigerian?
About the scam emails, perhaps you do not know that Nigeria is nowhere near the top of the major spamming countries (all spam is criminal).
Whipping yourself harder than massa whips you is called, inferiority complex and thats what we as Africans need to purge from our midst.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spam_(electronic)#Geographical_origins

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/E-mail_spam#Origin_of_spam

I hope to God you know there's a difference between spamming and scamming.
Mr Beaf - Are you sure you passed through the 4 walls of a citadel of learning?

Beaf:
Should I reply you in kind? No, this is an example of how the dazed victim lavishes praise on their oppressor to the extent of even being a better whip than the oppressor can muster.
Is it not the same BBC that received two "phone calls" from Yar Adua, whom the whole World knew wasn't in any shape to make calls?
Is it not strange that the BBC never finds positive African stories like CNN very regularly does?
Is it a coincidence that the average Briton conjures up images of animals anytime Africa is mentioned?

The irony. . . . .an average Briton knows where Nigeria is. . . .don't mix the Brits with the Americans.
BBC have no blame if a certain Nigerian sends em pics of her environment, . . .The pictures are not fake, they are real!!!
I dunno why you're getting your knickers in a twist cos of pictures - are the kids related to you in any way?

Anyways, below is a link to an example of how the BBC saw displaying a photo of apartheid South Africa's flag as alright, because Togo had made a mistake. The same flag was displayed on the Africa news homepage for about two weeks, even with the strongest protestations about it. I guess in your books that makes the Average African "mentally deranged" if they complained about such, instead of simply going home to fight apartheid?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/7235415.stm

there is no sense in jumping higher than the master says you should, instead question why the heck you are jumping when he says jump.

Stop grasping at straws and talk about the children-in-a-canoe issue.
Whatz ma business with what BBC reported about Togo or apartheid in South Africa?

Your country is useless and you think BBC reporting it or not will change people's perception about Nigeria.
Go to CNN and advise your fellow Nigerians to stop sending scam emails all over the world. . . .

Mr Beaf - The defender of Nigerians.

Dr Kitaun:
Maradona needs no hype

Riquelme needs no hype too. . . . .He's a genius!

kech:
Make we hear word ooo! Your fellow Nigerian, Lola Akinmade took these pictures. I'm sure BBC didn't collect it from him/her at gunpoint. What's wrong with the pictures? It just shows the situation as it is. There is a river separating the kids from their school and since they can't walk on water, they have to use a canoe. Shikena. The pictures show a lot. They show the careless and lackadaisical attitude of our leaders and the determination of those kids, braving all odds just to get to school. If you ask me, those are very strong photos. I don't think they are degrading and demeaning at all. You guys should stop trying to hide our mess under the rug. Let the whole world see biko. Most times the "embarrassment" - if that's what you want to call it -  is what's needed for our leaders to sit up.

Exactly ma sentiment. . . .

BBC did not even write a single word concerning the pictures. . . . .
Lola Akinmade sent digital pictures to BBC, they pasted it on their site and a neurotic Nigerian is having erections about them. . . .
Such a waste of flesh!

xterra2:
Maybe you were thinking from your anus it would roughly be equal to 77 pounds (i dont have the symbol on my keyboard )

Tuyis:
The other face of Nigeria
By Reuben Abati 


“Get down now. Open your door, let us come in, we are taking you to the station.”

 
“Hey, open that door, now, now, before I shoot.”

He sounded like he would shoot truly. The car had been surrounded by gun-totting policemen. I looked up, there was a policeman pointing a gun at the car in the direction of my newly shaved head. He looked stoned. Nigerians are great, incorrigible voyeurs, every incident with a touch of drama excites them; I noticed a small crowd of onlookers was already gathering like an audience at a movie.

I couldn’t figure out what the confusion was all about. I thought the men were armed robbers. The fact that they wore the Police uniform didn’t matter. These days, police uniforms and guns are available for hire, such that the average Nigerian has come to learn that a uniform looks just as good on a crook as it does on the public official engaged in legitimate duty.

“What is it? What is the problem?,” I yelled. “I am a journalist,” I added, trying to introduce myself. Sometimes, that helps. But this was not my lucky day.

“And so? Journalist. Well done! Because you are a journalist, you think you can commit a crime?”

Crime? What crime?

“Look officer, you and I do the same job, we are both trying to make this society a better place for all of us. Try and be civil. What have I done?”

“This is the problem with you people. One time you say you are a journalist. Another time, you say you are police, doing the same job with police. What is your rank? Wey your uniform? Just open this door and follow us to station. You will see yourself today.” In a matter of seconds, the rear door had been flung open, two policemen struggled to get into the car, their guns carelessly targeted at me. I got angry.

“Are you people alright at all; get down from this car right now.”

“You are abusing a policeman. You will see yourself today.”

“Can’t you see I am trying to have a conversation with your colleague here? Why don’t you wait and let me know what is wrong before you jump into the car?”

“You are speaking grammar. Policeman is trying to do his job, you are blowing grammar. You want to teach police how to do his job because you are a journalist? Is that how to behave?”

I turned to the only one among the policemen who appeared sober. “Please talk to your colleagues, because I really can’t understand what I have done that is responsible for this harassment.”

“That man is my oga sir. He is our commander.”

“I think you have heard now. I am the oga here. It’s me you should be talking to.”

“Look, I am a friend of the police.”

“Who is your friend? You can’t commit a crime and claim that you are a friend of the police.”

“I have written many articles defending you people, asking government to attend to the welfare of policemen…”

“We don’t read articles. Just follow us.”

“I also speak on television”

“I don’t watch telly. Where NEPA dey sef to take watch television?”

“See, I am a member of the Lagos State Security Trust, we are always providing help for the police on behalf of the people. Where are you people from, the command or RRS? Who is your oga? Odumosu or Akpoyibo.”

“Akpoyibo”

“I know him”

“This man, stop disturbing us with stories. Move this car and follow us to the station.”

“I am a friend of the police. I am sure that your Hilux van must have been provided by the Security Trust. Even this your uniform looks like one of the uniforms we gave out to the police the other month.”

“My uniform? This uniform? If I hear that again, I will use this gun to scatter your head. Nobody gave me this uniform. I bought this uniform myself from police store. I bought this shoe myself. I bought this cap with my own money. If anybody tell you say dey give police uniform, it is a lie. Ask every policeman, na we dey buy our uniform ourselves.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I can see that you don’t understand anything. If you people gave uniforms and money to some people in the police, you better know the people, because we on duty, we cater for we-self.”

I knew I was dealing with wounded lions. And here they were, wielding guns.

“Sorry officer,” I tried a softer tone. “But what have I done?”

“When you get to the station, you will know. In fact, your crime don increase. Parking on the highway, trying to teach policemen how to do their job, causing public nuisance, trying to create an accident and risking the lives of other Nigerians, wasting the time of the Nigeria Police with silly talk, claiming to be a journalist and a policeman at the same time…very serious crimes.”

“I have not committed any crime, officer.”

“When you write a statement in our station, you can say so.”

It is true that I had parked the car by the roadside to receive a phone call. Road safety regulations stipulate that we should not drive and use the phone at the same time. I thought I was being a good citizen when I parked by the roadside, switched on the hazard lights and took the call. I spent less than a minute on the phone. But the policemen had seen me; they double-crossed the car. They took almost ten minutes before disclosing what “crime” I had committed, and all explanations that I was in fact trying to obey the law fell on deaf ears.

“You can’t park on the highway. You are supposed to keep moving.”

“But officer, this is not a highway. This is just a street.”

“You want to tell me what a highway is!”

“I have a dictionary in the car. We can check the meaning of highway, officer.”

“I don’t want your dictionary. Is this a classroom? When you get to our station, I will give you our own dictionary. We also have a dictionary at the station!”

“I parked the car because I didn’t want to drive and use the phone. And you can see that the hazard lights are on. And I am right inside the car. What if the car had broken down?”

“If it breaks down, you carry it on your head. If not, if police catch you, we arrest you for criminal action.”

I was tempted to laugh. But under the circumstances, that might have been impolitic. Too many innocent lives have been cut short by Nigerian policemen who can’t stand a citizen insisting on his or her rights. Assassins, armed robbers, kidnappers, ritual killers are on the prowl in the country, and yet the police appear overwhelmed. But they are most effective in harassing innocent Nigerians.

One policeman once told me that it was an offence to carry money in the trunk of a car. He refused to be convinced otherwise. When I stood my ground, he asked for the car’s fire extinguisher. When I brought that out, he insisted on sighting the certificate of ownership. I drew his attention to the fact that it was an official car. Then he pointed to a minor scratch and said the law does not allow anybody to drive a car with a scratch. What law? Has he not seen the smoking contraptions on Nigerian roads, which block visibility and cause accidents? His response was that I should mind my own business. I was facing a similar situation and I had wasted so much time already, thinking that I was dealing with honest policemen on duty. Someone soon joined us and started begging the policemen on my behalf.

“This your friend is too stubborn. I think he is a big man but he doesn’t know what to do. Instead of him to behave himself, he has been boasting here that he knows commissioner; if you like know IG.”

“You people didn’t give me a chance to explain.”

“Who is interested in your explanation? Police say you park for highway, you wan bring dictionary. You think this place na your office? Don’t you live in this country?”

“Okay officer, I am sorry.” Even when you have not committed any offence, it is better to beg Nigerian policemen. And it would be suicidal to follow them to the police station. You could be branded an armed robber and kept in the cell for months. I tried to humour the policemen by smiling sheepishly at them. By now, they had lowered their rifles.

“Okay oga, to settle everything, give us something.”

At this point, the only policeman who appeared sober intervened and told their team leader that it would not be advisable to collect bribe from me. He even said I could go. The team leader refused.

“Oga, you can’t go oh. Ha ha. Me, I will collect something from you today.”

“Let oga go. He says he knows commissioner.”

“How does that concern me? I will collect something from him. Oga, you are a big man. Give me something, I will take. Ha, after all the time we have spent on your matter, you can’t just waste our time like that.”

“Okay no problem,” I said, dipping my hand into my pocket.

“Make it big oh.” Then he turned to his colleague: “What is the matter with you? You too dey fear. Anybody can say he knows commissioner of police. Commissioner na human being, people suppose know am. But na we dey for road.”

I paid the ransom that the man wanted and regained my freedom. I had hardly driven for another ten minutes when I came upon a group of young men blocking a service lane.

“Yes, what is the matter here?,” I queried. These ones didn’t have guns, they were not wearing any uniform, they looked like “area boys” and I was in no mood to pay another toll.

“This car is under arrest”

“What do you mean this car is under arrest?”

“It is carrying advertisement.”

“But if you are not blind you will see that this is a press car.”

“Advertisement is advertisement.”

“Has Fashola not warned you local government people to stop harassing Lagosians?”

“Ta lo n je Fashola”

“BRF”

“Omo ta ni yen”

“SAN. Eko o ni baje.”

“Is he the Chairman of this area? Chairman says any car that carries advertisement must pay. It is N15, 000. If you pay now we will give you a receipt… Abi ki lo n se maanu yi ke? If you are not careful, I will give you tribal marks.” He brought out a razor blade.

“This car is not advertising anything. This is just company name. Who is your Chairman, by the way?”

“O fe mo Sheer-man. This man wants to know Sheer-man. You will have to follow us to our office.”

“I don’t have to go with you. Let me just take my bag. I will give you the car key but I assure you, your Chairman will bring this car to me in my office, by the time I start trouble.”

“Bring the car key. Omo, you drive the car. Mister man you can take your bag and go. Sheer-man will bring the car to you in your office.”

The folly of my statement suddenly dawned on me. I ended up pacifying the boys. They also insisted on collecting money. By the time I got to the office, I was mentally drained. Our leaders are bad, so-called ordinary people are mean, this is what makes living in this land so stressful.


http://odili.net/news/source/2010/jul/11/2.html

Sweet Jesus. . . . . .This is a good READ.
Is there any continuation of this piece?

Beaf:
It is high time we started a protest letter against the BBC.
whats their fixation? Its not like they are helping us in any way.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/10498873.stm

You are a raving stark illiterate. . . . .

A Nigerian provided pics of children travelling to school by canoe and you want to protest?
Are the pictures fake? Instead of you to be gingered to make a change and correct these ills, you want to attack the organisation that brought the information to the world. . . . .

Sometimes i think the average Nigerian is mentally-deranged.

Dr Kitaun:
U once hyped Riquelme 2 high heavens, where is he 2day ?

I once hyped Maradona, where is he 2day?

Dr Kitaun:
Barrister Sauron

what does Xavi's goal ratio look like ? He is a very good player but too overrated to be mentioned except if say the dearth of creative midfielders has invented a pseudo-king.

Xavi is the best central midfielder in the Solar System - I don't care what anyone says.

dayokanu:
I hope you were reffering to Man Utd vs Barcelona in 2008 CL

United battered Barcelona to a pulp - ask Xavi.
I cannot count the number of penalties that were disallowed in Nou Camp - Ronaldo kept getting fouled time after time.

Dr Kitaun:
Na wao . . .
Just 2 years ago Manure parked the molue against Barca . . .Jackal dey here dey talk okpata !

Parked which bus?
We parked the bus and Marquez and Abidal nearly dislocated Ronaldo's patella with gruesome fouls in the box.
United took Barca to the cleaners at Camp Nou and OT!!! The better team won on the night.

Spain's inability to score more than 8 goals in 660 mins of footie is befuddling, considering d Portuguese side tonked a WC side that the world hailed 4 struggling against Brazil, this within 90 mins and d scoreline was 7-0.

So because Portugal beat Korea 7-0 now means Portugal are better than Spain - Do you still reason with your rectum?
Tottenham tonked Wigan 9-1. . . . . .Tottenham is better than Man Utd who could only beat Wigan 5-0.
What a moronic way to analyse issues.

Xavi with all the hype wasnt listed in the top 3 of d WC, so why do we indulge Jackal, Debosky and their fellow quasi-supporters into discussing a player that isnt even top 3 in his country's campaign

Xavi has been the most underrated midfielder ever but got his reward when he won the player of the tournament in Euro 2008 and now the pundits are back under-rating him. We heard how Bastian and Oezil are the bestest midfielders but when they were all on the pitch together, Xavi made the Nazis look like a bunch of lost Gorillas in the wild. Xavi completed 106 passes and the combo of the Nazis didn't even complete half of that.

Casillas, Villa, Ramos and Iniesta shat on Xavi, so whats d biggie ?
Schweini did well at EURO 2008, UCL 2010, WC 2010 . . .2 finals: 2 silver medals, 1 bronze medal, THE SKY IS THE STARTING POINT FOR HIM !

Xavi is the new heir to Zidane, Riquelme and co. . . . .I used to watch those guys playing football the way it should be played.
These lots touched the ball differently - you can call what they did "caressing the ball". Effortless actions yet EFFECTIVE like they have a fuckin relationship with the ball.

Dr Kitaun, if you don't rate Xavi then you are a soccer illiterate.

Debosky and Duduspace would LOVE this. . . . . .

https://img.thesun.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01084/fabshirt_1084460a.jpg

[flash=425,400]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGljYPVCyD8&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xd0d0d0&hl=en_GB&feature=player_embedded&fs=1"[/flash][flash=425,400]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C36LisjvNuA&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xd0d0d0&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&fs=1"[/flash]

bawomolo:
^^

the story is real o.   the man thought his wife's head was a baseball.   
i hope his jail has a baseball league

Na wa o. . . . . .But the woman asked for trouble sha. . . .
She put the man in a NOTHING TO LOSE situation and when a man's got nothing to lose. . . . .He's murderous.
This man is the Naija version of RAOUL MOAT!!!!

tpiah:
is that my photo which i sent to sauron in confidence?
why is he posting it on nl.
yepa.

the guy has exposed my nyansh.

no wonder osisi was firing away on the tribal thread.

so sauron showed her the photos.

Tpiah, nor implicate me o.

EzeUche:
If you say so. . .  

Eze mbe si na ihe ya ji-achiri ihe egwu ya aga njem bu maka ya ezu ndiegwu

I am always ready.

It's ON then. . . . .

oyinda.:
yesterday u were insulting me, now u have started insulting my husband  
dat will not be tolerated mr. sauron.

Your husband is ma employee.
He must learn how to address the dark Lord - You don't teach him manners?

dayokanu:
Hey hey back off

Who is this one?
I hope you are not suffering from testicular cancer.

EzeUche:
Well I see you filled in the blank.

Anyway, I have always come to the defense of my people. I am a reactionary person. You strike, I'll finish.

Your day of reckoning is almost here.
It's going to be a total bloodbath between us. . . . .

EzeUche:
I shall place the blame on the Y_______!  

Go back in Nairaland's history and you will see that the moderators allowed people to mock the Ndi Igbo.

Big lie. . . .
U are the biggest tribalist on this forum.
Everything must revolve round Ndigbo otherwise you won't have your penile erections.

oyinda.:
sauron u r not serious at all. lol

I hope you know i'm your biggest fan on Nairaland.

Deep Soul:
I've always wondered too. Someone once said Okrika was the first place the White men brought 2nd hand clothes to for distribution hence the name. I dont know how true that is sha.

Thank you. . . .
Where's Ibime to come shed some light on this Okrika business.

I have got a truck of clothes i wanna send to Naija and i need a distributor.
Ibime, are you up for this?

oyinda.:
dats because in real life, ppl of different ethnic groups  don't generally come together to discuss stuff like biafra, politics, cultures, which tribe has the prettiest girls, richest men, most greedy girls etc. when you do that, there will always be disagreement.  instead, you have the discussion among your own ethnic mates so there is no fight. and when a yoruba or igbo person comes along, you change the topic to a less sensitive one like weather or music.
you will notice that in the jokes, music and romance section, there is no tribe issues. the topics in there are not very sensitive nd everyone gets along regardless of ethnicity. this is real life. we don't talk abt sensitive issues we talk abt stuff like weather. haha i hope i'm making sense

Absolutely. . . .Which is a rare occurrence in your comments.
It seems someone now drinks loads of protein-shake.

davidylan:
lol not thanks, you can have her all to yourself.  watching her bosoms on 3D would be the worst tormet ever.

This is HARSH. . . . . . .
I will shop her to Aloy Emeka or Becomerich. . . . . .They rarely so no to a woman.

Ibime:
Hi Miss Mary Mark. . . . hehehehehe. . . .

@ topic,

Anyone familiar with Ijaw names should know that it is not uncommon for Ijaws to bear Igbo names and have Igbo ancestors. My family name is Uwakwe for example.

I have heard that Jonathan's estranged father is of Okrika lineage sef, and that Ogbia is his mothers town. Heavy Igbo influence in Okrika could explain his name . . . possibly.

Ibime, are you really from Okrika?
What is the link between your people and second hand products?

stillwater:
Lol. Now that was funny. Let osisi catch u o.

Phew!