Oh yea. It’s their fault for not exposing him as an abuser.

I’m sure if they did expose him and he killed himself, you will still blame them for it.
A man is never wrong in y’alls books

moscobabs:
You and his wife killed him


Had it been you or his wife speak out when he was abusing you, he might have changed after years in jail

CHoccolaTE:


What does a woman bring into marriage?
Are you serious?


FINANCIAL ASSISTANCE for one
In this day and age there is hardly any married woman that sits her behind home and waits completely for her husband to bring everything money to the home. No woman will refuse to work knowing that she can get a job and make life better for her children

Even if its petty trading or hair making married women have something going on to contribute to the house, its only in rare cases that you see them not working or searching for jobs cases like when the husband is filthy rich .The economy is too hard for so many people for wives to just sit around doing nothing.
If you go into Nigerian markets over 70% of the shops there are run by women so I don't know why men still think they are solely responsible for the upkeep of the family.

Besides that when a married woman gives birth to children whose name does the child bear? Whose lineage does the child carry on? Is it her lineage or her husbands lineage?

Despite losing her beauty and youth to pregnancy and risking her life during childbirth the children end up belonging to the man and his family.

Good job with this thread, your contributions and responses to each post. Lord knows I can’t be this patient . You’re doing a great job. Not one lie have you told. Keep it up

Your first paragraph is a bold faced lie. Stop it


I didn’t even bother to read the rest of it

HungerMustGo:


First of all, very few women breadwinners in African. Maybe less than 10%. And the woman usually has control of the house in these circumstances.

Next unchallenged authority is not ideal and I agreed but in the African scenario where people work like slaves and are paid peanuts with the weight and pressure of their immediate and extended family to cater for, most times they are only left with the easy way out to deal with things at home front which is unchallenged authority.

The wife is showing attitude, making endless demands. Kids welfare & school. Inlaws and extended family needs help. His earnings are inadequate.

That's why it's wrong to compare the fortunate with the unlucky and an African man with the west.

Oh man. Lord have mercy

jagugu88li:
Some of the best pictures. Credit to the family's cameraman

I believe in you

jagugu88li:
Hype me up......you are welcome

That already looks yummy.

In anticipation

jagugu88li:
The soon to wed said we should present them with food

....me seating down eating and my big man preparing

Stop it with that illiterate bullshit

dipopooo:
Hisssss.... Police brutality indeed.... Even when SARS madness full everywhere I wasn't picked for questioning not to talk of being harassed. You will be addressed the way you dress

Useless disease-ridden STD distributor.
Maybe your mom raped you and that’s why you’re obsessed with sex.
Obviously your stunted mental growth and underdeveloped reasoning faculty all have something to do with you not meeting critical childhood milestones. That’s why you compensate with random hyper sexual activity with even strangers you don’t know.

And the most bewildering part of it all is that you feel like you can judge the women you sleep with. You’re the common denominator among them. That makes you the LovePeddler.

Spits on your disgusting std self.

amhelpless:

your mother rape you there!!!

how that take correlate with our line of discussion, guy go borrow goat brain

Tell that to your mother

amhelpless:


preach that to your gold digger sister who is desperately sleeping around in attempt to get the ring, tell her to get a job that marriage is not a free meal ticket.

Jobless irresponsible sperm distributor. HIV is waiting for you. If you don’t already have it

amhelpless:


just four, they are the greedy one who think they are smart, lazy girls thinking marriage is a free meal ticket

How do they know he was really poisoned? Who did the autopsy?

This Nigerian Mentality that Men are the head and should be strong and unshaken should cease to exist,Men have emotions,there are men who are helpless ...There are men who dont have it all together, its not because they wanted it that way but because they tried and circumstance took it stride

Indeed
Men are also victims of the patriarchy and toxic masculinity.

They are too busy trying to suppress women to see how it affects them too.

So many dumb comments

Adiwana:
If this mumu of an op divorces his wife then he's a greater fool than i imagine.Everybody is saying divorce.Divorce for what??You saw texts and you know she's fvking her side nigga,smash that phone on the ground.She attempts to fight you,you are a man ffs overpower her and the throw her out of your house.She said heaven will not fall if she poisons you,then the gates of hell will not stand in your way if you smash that her phone on the ground.Stamp your authority in your house you this weakling.Bring out that beast in you and fling her shit out of the door.Seize that child once you've conducted a DNA test and guess what,nothing will happen.Let her go and marry that nigga she's smashing.African culture maintains he will not marry her so far as she's still married to you.Let her bring back her Dowry and let the son stay with you.By tradition he bears your name and will not go to his mothers house.You are in charge here.Lock her up if she persists and keeps on harassing you.Do something you lil livered mf and show her you paid for her Dowry not the other way round.You initiating that divorce move will automatically seal your fate.MAN UP FOOL

Frothing at the mouth

Endowed595:
I totally get you. At first she was behaving well and you feel for it.
Dude! You have to man up!
In your own house a woman beats you up and stabs you!
She still relates with her ex's!
She has the nerve to threaten you!
Like whats the matter with you!
At first i thought and still do that all this was some sort of made up story but if its not, you need to stand up to her as a man.
1. Dont divorce her, beat the shit out her and kick her out
2. Beat the shit out of her and kick her out!
3. Beat the shit out of her and kick her out for heaven's sake!

Be a man!

I cant even take 1% of what i read in that story.
Best of Luck man!

When she stabbed you was the time you should have even started thinking separation/divorce.

Don’t play rough play please.
Don’t joke with your life.

Not the same.

Consensual sex and forced sex are never comparable. It doesn’t matter what genders are involved

Chienex24:


Same way a man grows to have burning passion for their fellow men - Demon- controlled!!!

If he had sex with her when she did not want it, then it’s rape. Doesn’t matter if she visited him willingly or if other girls her age are already doing it. Not related at all

spafu:
I am totally against rape of any sort but this does not look like a rape case. In the north, a teenager of 15 may already be in a relationship ( I remember a formed governor married an 11 year old Egyptian) without her parents frowning at it and could be married before she turned 17 or 18.
In this case, it was mentioned, he was proposing to marry her (dating her and talking about marriage). He then lured (if you remove police way of embellishing statement, he simply invited her) her to his room and her sex with her, which is wrong because she is a minor, but I really had my doubt that it was a forceful penetration and my reason for this is:
How comes, the police is only getting involved when she is already 8 months pregnant?

You people are idiotic. Can’t stop salivate every time chimamanda is mentioned. Sounds like obsession to me.

theapeman4:
this feminist biiitch got a husband and kids!

shachris02:
this her husband has never looked happy....when you marry a feminist, that's what u get.

Expect it soon

Mariangeles:
My address is 225 Katakata street
Please send mine ASAP!
Happy new year!

Tolerating an abusive marriage and having it last for decades doesn’t mean the marriage wasn’t a failure.

The marriage starts to fail when irresponsibility from the man is tolerated. The failure doesn’t start when the women wakes up and decides enough is enough. That’s my point

truthsayer009:


Yes it is true. Not that it's a good thing but lets accept the realities of the past so we can put it aside. Most of our mothers endured so much rubbish from our fathers. But at that time they didn't even see it as offensive because an average woman wasn't ambitious as they are now. Women are known back then to be mainly caregivers. That is the sole reason Polygamy worked fine then and not now, they just sat at home & took care of the children & are contented with it. I'm referring to 60s to 90s.

Internet has come & time has changed, I think the greatest Gift to Women is the Internet. A way for all women to come together & speak their minds. usually women who are doing well financially do not tolerate shit from Men & probably end up being single mothers not because there are no Men out there. It would amaze you that there are a lot of successful single mothers in Nigeria, not making noise.

Whether we like it or not, It is going to take a while for Men to realise that times have changed. During this period, divorce will be on the rise.

Why are you people obsessed with subduing women?

DukeofNZ:


make you no de say nonsense. na who tell you say person we be career woman no suppose de humble and submit to man. me i don live for many countries, my mother na medical doctor for america and my father na successful businessman and i be successful man, my family de happy because my mother no de behave like bitter woman. bitter woman like pocohantas of nairaland na bad exmaple for wetin a career woman no suppose be and she no successful self. make she no de make noise de yarn nonsense. make she change her way. she de bitter.

woman can have money and de humble

He’s blaming the failure of marriages now on women because they refused to tolerate the irresponsibility of men.

You think that’s the truth. I don’t think it is.

truthsayer009:


Aren't we saying the same thing?
read my comment again.

It was honest bs

Because irresponsibility amongst men has always existed doesn’t mean it didn’t have effects on marriages

truthsayer009:


The post is really honest & we both know it. I know the most parts of Africa/Nigeria don't really favour Women in terms of Marriage. Women these days don't want to tolerate bullshit anymore, So Divorce is on the Rise. Irresponsibility among fathers have always been honestly.

Go back & take a look at this old "Royco" advert, I'm sure you must have seen it when you were little. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZYyinIXhlU

You will notice the useless behaviour of a Man who just came back from work snubbing his Wife all because he was hungry until she cooked. I swear if this Advert was done today, It won't even see the light of day. Feminist will almost burn down the Ad Company.

Yea. The problem won’t marriahes today is that women are not willing to tolerate abuse and disrespect from their husbands. How dare they?

Your post is a whole load of bullshit that encourages male misbehavior and passes all the buck on the women to keep tolerating bullshit in order to keep their so called marriages.

Your post is disgusting to say the least.

Johnbosco1:
Wonderful piece by OP, if I may...

One of the greatest reasons why we have broken homes I must say, is LACK OF TOLERANCE AND PASSION TO BECOME EVEN that is so prevalent amongst mothers . It has become a Pandora's box with cans of Worm inside that is so much eating up marriages and it seems everyone has failed to comprehend it.

Besides the terrible state of our country which I believe contributes to the rate of broken marriages, mothers on the other hand, seem to have forgotten how important they are to their Children. They have neglected the most important bond on earth, "mothers-child-bond".

While I was growing up, I could point out so many irresponsible men that have had successful marriage because of the breed of awesome women(wives) they had . But today, the so called "responsible men" are not making it to a successful five years in marriage, let alone the irresponsible ones. But why is that?

I spoke to a lady who the husband had accused of cheating and her response to me was in the light of this "yes he cheated on me with my best friend and I felt the need to become even, so I cheated on him with his best friend too". What the heck! What's even more annoying, was that she had with her, their four and six year old kids who were being cuddled by their father while she explained her part of the story to me. I was speechless. I felt ashamed, not to talk more, disturbed. This experience made me rethink in a heartbeat about those days as a child when I watched Mom and Dad argue(never about cheating) and I felt that Dad was always at fault, that there was no shred of guilt, whatsoever on mom. Was my discernment really fair on Dad at those moments? Or was I being sentimental because of this "mother-child-bond" that binds Mom and all of my Siblings together? Whether or not these were the right thoughts at that point in time was not my problem.

While the behaviors of the parents have an impact on their child(ren), mothers however have been known to have the greatest impact . In fact, a family without a mother has had a hugh vacuum no one would ever fill for a very long time if not forever. Children tend to capitalize and act more on their mother's behavior so easily than they will with their father.

Irresponsibility among fathers have always been but what we see now is nothing close to being irresponsible. They are pure "proud fakeass efekefe ungrateful yawoyawo overstylish fathers" who find it so hard to say "thank you" to their wives after eating a meal prepared by them.

It pains me so much when I see many cute couples' pre-wedding and wedding photos on Nairaland/others just to realize that they may not live up to those "early love, trust, happiness and vow". Weeping.... Someone please get me a hanky...hmmmm....wiping my nose, then eyes....

I am sad. I sometimes feel scared of what the future holds. Should I remain single? Should I join the click of men that are producing "babymamas upandown"? No way! I love kids and I can't stand the thought of them not enjoying both their parents simultaneously like I did. I still do. And if my Mum and Dad can do it, I sure as hail can do it, even better.

If you are reading this, this is challenge to you. Others have failed doesn't mean yours will. You can do better. You are far better than them. I wish us courage, real love, trust, "our significant rib". I wish us well.


PS. LETTER TO MY DEAR FUTURE WIFE!!!

Dear future wife,

If you are reading this, I promise to give you all the love and attention in the world that I can give plus 100% of my vow.

Please kindly cross my path IF you are ready to give all to me

Yours future Hubby,
Johnbosco

Those who are already in 2019, How is it?

We are still in 2018.

Anyway here’s some southern style fried chicken and seafood rice under preparation. If you want me to share with you when it’s done, post your address.

Happy new year you guys.
I love everyone on this thread. Wish you all a wonderful year.

chasers:


Snowman in the house

I like the snowman idea

Done.

A different time zone I suppose

4601CE:

What time zone are you?