₦airaland Forum

Rilwayne001:

Where is his tithe? Until then tell him he is not safe

Where is the community development in forcing two people on each other here?



My advice for the northern Governors conducting mass wedding is that they should allow the people to choose their partner themselves, then conduct the wedding and establish them.

Psychologically, he must have been smoking powerful substances that are no more satisfying him again, he is deriving pleasure in what he is doing.

Burger01:
Obviously the wife. Who else?

But, this tory don stale tay tay.

Obviously the Genetics expert, who didn't believe in miracle.


Though i cant rule out DNA test to confirm whether its a miracle or infidelity.

Tell your husband and demonstrate how annoyed you were when it happened, so that your husband will not think you also enjoyed it.

This man has tasted fire before his death, he will be among the first set of people to adapt to hell fire.


Good bless Nigeria.

Cutehector:
Na so. Witches in high places.

I thought they said there is no witches in Igboland.




On my way to the court to file a case against my social studies teacher in primary.

Goodluck Jonathan trying to remain in power by all means. I won't be surprise if i hear he enters an agreement to sell CBN to someone to win this election.

Why is cohabitting on an increase in our campuses today?

If the people behind this insurgency whom our leaders know are ready end it within 6 days its possible, talk more of 6 weeks.


I pray our troops win this battle before election.

Ahmed4002:
Meet Fatima Abba Gwadabe who has become the first commercial pilot in Kano state.

In order to reach her goal and become a top-ranked pilot, the Muslim woman has completed piloting Programs at Mid East Aviation Academy Jordan. She was among 100 of students who were sponsored by Kano Kwankwasiyya Government to study piloting at the Academy.

But it would be noted that Fatima hasn’t become a female pioneer in this difficult and challenging profession.
Two months ago all media reports exploded with the news about Nigeria’s first female helicopter captain, Abimbola Jayeola (Captain AB), emerged and made history that day.
Moreover, a female pilot has recently appeared in Katsina state. Ruqayya Suleiman was in the group of 15 other pilots trained in South Africa under a full Petroleum Trust Development Fund scholarship as international-certified commercial pilots.

The young woman not only got a unique profession, but managed to break the cultural barrier by acquiring a higher education which is quite unusual for girls from her area.



source
http://news2.onlinenigeria.com/national/north/401599-the-first-muslim-female-pilot-in-kano.html

Education is light. What can anybody promise this lady or what type of indoctrination can make this lady to be a suicide bomber?


God bless you Fatima as you progress in your choosen carrier.

Good for him. How i wish he can be a better footballer, as more as he can cook.

How come this thread lack comments, are there no UI applicants here?

As far as i know, Boko haram always go on vacation during the political rally or programme of both parties. Only God knows the Mitochondria of insurgency in Nigeria.

I thank God for the life of this man, its a rear grace he is not dead by now.

wese90:
These Copas r just looking for Mbok which simply means free ride. I took these pictures on Thursday. The question is, Can u do that in disguise of free ride?

and these are suppose to be Nigeria's future leaders. Though I also did something worse than this during my service year (riding a motorcycle at night without head lamp, putting on my 7/7), but i'm now wise. They will also soon become wise when they get into labour market, they are still with fresh blood from campus.

waiting for the cause of the matter, before i will know what to comment.

Rapmoney:
During my sojourn in the Ivory Tower, I knew many guys who had their girlfriends stay with them! The truth is that any girl that brings her stuffs to stay in your house in school must have a secrete plan. Now, you ain't married yet she stays with you in your one-room apartment or probably, a bed-sitter. You may think you are having a swell time, but my guy, let me tell you, you are definitely in for it!!! When a guy allows his girlfriend to stay with him in school, he is bound to do the following 5 foolish things:

1) You spend the hard-earned money of your parents or guardians to rent an apartment and she packs in. She will save the money that has been given to her and use it to better her life! You go dey there dey form 'married man' I guess you have never worked for money before so you don't freaking know what it means to cough out thousands or hundreds of thousands to rent an apartment! I know guys who wouldn't allow their younger ones stay with them in school, but dem fit pay continuously for an apartment for dem and their girlfriends from 100L to final year. What a pity!!!

2) You start feeding her! Deh say small pikin wey wan carry e papa for shoulder, na big blokos go suffocate am!!! When you decide to live like a married man, you must also accept the responsibilities of a married man! Simple. How can you be taking care of somebody when you are still being taken care of? I don't get it. Most girls who find themselves in such position would definitely pray it lasts till they sit for their degree exams! She buys Brazilian hairs, jewelry, shoes, bags, clothes, etc with her up-keep money And you? You use yours to buy breads, fry eggs and make tea for the both of you! Not forgetting that her friends will still come and eat. When will you have sense then?

3) If both of you are in the same dept., you end up doing assignments for her, writing tests and exams for her! Didn't God give her brain? There's a high possibility that she would graduate with a 2.1 and you, a 2.2 or a 3rd class because God must surely punish you for cheating and impersonating

4) You lose your privacy and the opportunity to interact and associate with other reasonable, focused and ambitious students on campus! Your friends take precaution before they visit you. You are stuck with just one person. Why do you think young people are always encouraged to reach out to and make friends with members of the opposite sex far from the time they would be getting married? I ask you, Papa Lotanna!!! Yes, that's who you are since you have decided to get married in school without the knowledge of your parents. That's why I still prefer private universities. Things like cohabiting hardly take place!

5) Foolishly thinking that both of you will get married at last! Most of the guys I knew personally in the university who cohabited with their girlfriends were later dumped or jilted after graduation. Reason: those girls would not want to lose their privacy normally living with a guy from 100L to final year but they decided to cohabit to save their resources and live on the guys' resources I told you, these girls have plans and you are not part of their plans...just one of the steps on the ladder for those plans to be achieved!!! So when will you have sense, I asked again?

Go to school, study very hard, learn a trade or skill as you are schooling. Make adequate plans for life after graduation. Stop making marriage plans with your that babe that cohabits with you. If you do, you do, you either day-dreaming or living in a fool's paradise! You are free to have girlfriend because you are mature but don't allow them cohabit with you!

A word is enough for the wise...peace to ya' all.
Happy Sunday!!!

This post is a good wake-up call for anybody that cares to learn. I left some of them in school running up and down begging for pass from lecturers, the funny part of it is that many of those girls graduated in flying colours, working and married to another serious guys by now.


what a shame.

May God have mercy

krall:
but valentine never start.

Her dad is an auto dealer, and she is daddy's girl.
So this is Mine...... I almost had heart attack and then nearly proposed.

Picture of you driving the car to any nearby Total filling station, to buy #5000 fuel with #500 notes, from a female attendant or ............ (complete it)

Scary.

honTim:
hi nairalanders, pls I need your support and ideas with business venture I can start up with. I have a start up capital of 50,000 naira and I don't want to work for anybody again considering my last experience. I want to start up something, no matter how small it is. the question is what can I do with 50k?

Sorry brother I saw this thread late, don't let me start bothering you with another business analysis, you can choose from any of the suggestions people had given before on this thread, but make sure you do research before you venture into any business, and don't give anybody money, make sure you go together to buy whatever you need.


Success!!!

Can our guys that are busy building six packs to impress ladies, using all their income for buying latest cloths and jewelries learn from successful men that are making it in our world. Does this man's jacket and outlook looks like a billionaire?


May God help us.

firstEVA:
I don't know if it's just me. I dont consider any of our female comediennes (Princess, Ellen paul etc) funny at all. i was at a show recently where one of them performed, it was so dry i didn't know what to do, i just clapped to encourage her. I have watched Sommore, Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Joan Rivers, Ellen Degeneres e.t.c, those women are really funny, why are our Naija female comedians different?

My humble reason is this; majority of comedies are based on women, so it will not be sweet hearing it from a lady compare to when men talk about women in when cracking jokes.

cbrass:
This happened at Okay Oba in Akure, Ondo state. The woman couldnt believe it that a vice president was standing in front of her

Instead of her to quickly take picture with Osinbajo, who knows......




I trust my Igbo people. She will snap with him and keep it. That is her visa/business card/appointment card to enters Aso Rock anytime from May 29th.

ebenezer4o2:
Ofcourse,it's the season of Love and everywhere is characterized with colours associated with the season.Ladies are happy 'cos the elections have been postponed and the guys are like 'why postponed the elections?'

As soon as I left the banking hall this evening,one of Our staffs showed me a note written by a lady at the back of a teller together with her cell number that reads 'will u be my val?'So,I now decided to come up with these few points of top 10 categories of people that won't bother about this val,so relax and read.

1.The Gays/Lesbians:These types of people do not need elaborate explaination to convince everyone that they have lil or no interest in valentine's day.

2.The Real Born Again Christians:These sets of people in which I belong to don't regard or recognise anything such like this.It's highly unacceptable in the 'christiandom'.The bible says 'don't be an equally yoke with the unbeliever',hence,christians don't engage themselves in valentine's celebration.

3.Those In The Battle Field: [/b]Our patriotic and beloved Nigeria soldiers in Maiduguri and other parts of the North-East will definately not be having a one-out time with their loved ones this season.

4.[b]The Singles: I know many will be on this lane.Many broke up before the celebration in the aim of dodging his responsibility during this season whilest some don't have a date.Majority of these people are the guys 'cos the ladies are always engage and it's their norm.

5.The Handicaps:By handicaps,I don't mean the handicap the bettors give to a club whilest staking his game oh,lol.Such people in this group may include,the dumb,the blind,the deft,the lame etc.These sets of people would likely go to their plantation tomorrow being saturday or even stay indoor to watch GoTv,hence,they don't bother about valentine's day.

6.The Minor Or Under-aged:When I was a lil boy,I used to see people put on reds cloths,caps on val's day but I didn't know why they were puting on such on that day not until I was matured enough to know the reason behind it.So,a minor is less concerned about val's day,all he cares for is to get his parents' attention,play around and get his stomach filled to the brim.

7.The Typical Hustler:The truck pusher,wheel Barrow pusher,the undertakers,the itenerant trader,the pedestrians,the hawkers etc hardly think about Love 'cos they don't have the time for such and hence,less bothered about it.

8.The Village 'papos' And 'Mamos':These are the old people in the village usually the Grandpa and grandma.They can hardly move out 'cos they are too old and those who can,don't even remember anything like val's day let alone celebrating it.

9.The Experienced:These categories are the ones who try to advise their younger ones/sibblings to steer-clear from guys this period 'cos they've seen the bad side of val's day.These ladies are in their late 30's trying to caution their sibblings who aren't adult at the moment.They are experienced and as such not so bothered about the season as the youths do.

10.The Ugly ones:]These sets of people have been forcing themselves on the opposite se.x long before the val's day but as soon as the day approaches,they all alone.These categories of people are commonly ladies who don't have any swag,who put on un-attracting skirts that are long to their toes,they have no features on their body to attract a guy,the least goes on and on.As such,they relax in their single apartment all day.

Feel free to add urs,thanks 2 u all.

Representing the Single.

A lot of funny excuses. So he expect her to sweep with Umbrella?

doctokwus:
[b]The All Progressives Congress presidential campaign organization has urged the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) to ensure the integrity of the forthcoming elections through the use of card readers to authenticate the status of voters.
This was contained in a statement released to newsmen in Abuja on of Friday and signed by the director of media and publicity of the campaign organisation,mallam Garba Shehu.
According to the statement, INEC's decision to use card readers is borne out of the need to ensure electoral transparency and integrity.
"We insist on the use of card readers for authenticating the proprietary of the permanent voters cards.
"These, in our estimation as a credible party,remain the irreducible minimum that must form the basis for the conduct of free, fair and credible elections o. March 28and April 11"
" Aside the financial investment involved in the procurement of the card readers,the desire to hoodwink on this anti-rigging device,is not just subterranean but an affront on the independence of the electoral body"
The statement also said based on the recent ruling of a Federal High court in Sokoto against the use of soldiers for election duties,APC was opposed to use of soldiers for the elections.[/b]
http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/2015/02/13/apc-insists-on-card-readers-for-2015-elections/

Seconded!!!


Soldiers are to secure the environment safe for voting, by mounting barricade, check points, counter violence etc, and not carrying guys to the polling boot to scare innocent citizens.

Anybody that against the use of card reader for this election is the enemy of Nigerians. I will only advise INEC to see to the effectiveness of the card reader not to cause hindrance to the smooth running of the exercise.

MuguliciousMUGU:
1) many girls will get pregnant

2) there would be high demand for condoms, infact i see lots of condoms on the floor and on the road on the 15th

3) the hospitals in nigeria would be filled with girls coming for pregnancy test.

4) mr biggs, tantilizers and other eatries would make lots on money.

5) the sun would shine.

6) the hospitals in nigeria would be filled with guys coming for HIV test, STD and other diseases.

7) shakara would end.

8 ) i see lots of night club and cinemas making lots of money.

9) many guys bank account would become red as a result of too much spending on valentine day, infact their money would have finished.

10) i see nepa bringing the light and APC and PDP members still campaigning for the election.

These are all i can see for now.

Signed- current minister of women affairs.

....and some of us that didn't step out of our apartment today will be asking people after February 14th that please when is Valentine's day?

Enjoying my Valentine's day as a normal Saturday, when I always rest in-door through out the day, with my phone fully charge to take me round the world.

It happens in every institution during examination period. After all these pains, someone will struggle to graduate, only to land in a society of no job.



God bless Nigeria.

Rhyle:
NYSC 2014
I fell in love with this cute damsel
and
everything was going on fine until i
made
my intention known to her father &
being
a learned man, here is what he gave
me:
APPLICATION FORM TO MARRY MY
DAUGHTER.
FILL THE FORM IN YOUR OWN
HAND WRITING AND IN BLOCK
LETTERS
I _______________ hereby apply to
marry
your
daughter Miss___________ _. I am
_____
years
old.
Please answer the following
questions
honestly.
1. Do you go to Church ? Yes/No
2. Do you have a degree or diploma?
Yes/No
3. Are you still a virgin?
Yes/No
4. Are you working? Yes/No
5. Do you have a car?
Yes/No
If your answer to any of the above
questions is NO, do not continue.
Leave my
house and don't look back.
If all your answers were YES, Then
continue...
1. In 50 words or more, Describe the
disadvantages of cheating in
marriage.
2. With the aid of a diagram, Explain
how
you can give respect to your father
in- law
and mother in-law.
3. Suppose your wife says "Honey, I
need
money for my hair at the saloon",
what
would be your answer ?
4. Explain any TEN causes of divorce.
5. What does the term 'good
husband'
mean to you?
6.Do you have both dad and mum
together?
Yes/No
If No explain why?
7.Were your parents legally married?
Yes/No
If YES for how long
If the time of their marriage is less
than
your age,
Explain why you were born out of
wedlock.
8. Explain the meaning of ''COME
HOME
EARLY"
As used by women (100 words)
9. Give any THREE reasons that can
cause a
man to sleep outside his
house.
10. In case of divorce, Who do you
think is
the owner of the kids between father
and
mother?
Answer the following
by Yes or No.
1. Do you drink alcohol? Yes/No
2. Do you smoke?
Yes/No
3. Are you short- tempered?
Yes/No
LAST PART - BUT EQUALLY
IMPORTANT
1. When can you be free for
interviews?
2. When is the best time to interview
your dad?
3. When can I interview your mum
4. When can I interview your church
Pastor
5. Please stick your passport size
photo
below which will be put in the
newspaper
to check if you have other girlfriends.
Sign here:
Sign again:
Thank you for showing interest in my
daughter. Your application will be
processed in a year's time.
You will be acknowledged only if you
emerge successful.
As you are waiting,
*Please don't call me!
*Don't visit me!
*Don't contact my daughter!
If u do, you will be disqualified!
Leave your details in case I need to
ask you
more questions;
Postal Address:
Email:
Phone:
Home:
Facebook:
BEST WISHES

Thank God this thread is in joke section. If not, i will just burn my nairaland account with petrol and matches now.