₦airaland Forum

[color=olive]You's lucky I'm free today, lol. Here goes[/color]

Read the rules~it says the forum is moderated
When am through with u, you'll need to be amalgamated
[color=olive] Two lines lines with nothing to relate them together. . I feel the first line was not meant for this piece[/color]

am da illest who's ready to send you downtown
and when am king, even hybrid would have to step down
[color=olive]Good filler, rhyme scheme is there[/color]

Markolini is the craziest wack on our planet
while makavele is ready to flush him down the closet
[color=olive]planet doesn't really rhyme with closet. . and the two lines still don't sync[/color]

niggaz have seen your obituary on a piece of pamphet
my hands are made to take your eyes off their sockets
[color=olive]Delivery/Presentation is a keystyle in Rappin, maybe you should have your bars re-arranged and better worded like. .
Makavele is damn ready to flush this dude down the closet
A sign?? My hands were made to unplug your eyes from its sockets
The deal is done, i got niggaz reelin out your obituary on bale of pamphlets
I'm the don, the new era, the rap dawn, leavin you torn like a still-born rapper, life-less

Saucekid warned you to back off, he aint got patience
he figured u wanted to make trouble like a nuisance
[color=olive]I ain't feeling that, sorry[/color]

dissing markolini is just my preference
like isaac newton , i studied "dissing science"
[color=olive]Remember this is meant to be a battle, innit? Newton didn't study science, he found 'gravity' and explained 'forces' so if you made a simile that followed the theme of 'gravity' you would have had a nice bar.[/color]

i aint using metaphors, so i won't kill you
like a stubborn child, its time for your curfew
[color=olive]You keep making reference to 'killing' this guy, tell me, which of your lines was good/hard enough to do this. .the first line was unnecessary, but the second one would have been better as an opener[/color]

am on my way to the church, its time for some breakthrough
shaz don't judge me, aint your momma who practices voodoo
[color=olive] hmmn. . i thought u was dissin Markolini, or which of the Maka's. . plus, there's still no correlation and that's no way to end a verse. imagine if Nas was to do a verse and leave it open as you did, would you have liked the song?? Work on your flows, figures of speech, humour and remember to correlate your lines. . and by the way, i was goin to tell you, separating your lines after 4 rhymes was unneeded, it made your verse look like a poem or a hymn, d'you get me?[/color]

[color=olive] Sauce can drop a verse and compare it to any of those I've already dropped, none of them is pre-written, they are only freestyles. . plus, sauce's got his mouth and we's talked bout that already. Sauce and I ain't on the same end when it comes to rap, I learnt the rudiments of this game, believe! If you really want to battle, let's make it live, no room for pre-writing shit, come on Y!IM or MSN, ask them Alexpissu's and Mailmalc's bout what I do if you need background info[/color]

[color=olive]I'm studyin Forensics now[/color]

[color=olive]Owned!

But funny tho[/color]

[color=olive]IBK, well done. . after the relationship we go see the parts of your body wey go still remain[/color]

[color=olive]You ARE wack, you know now. . your lyrical content is nothing to write home about. . i'm not tryin diss or somn, just sayin the truth. . or tell me can you match-up to this:

Just got my hospital degree to give monocles to G’s
So when ya jaws drops it’s cause ya obstacle is me
Your popsicle will freeze with the chronicles I speak
So kool – the rest are just………… a comical relief
I’m impossible to beat; suffer phenomenal defeats
Burst ya face… N’ search for particles of teeth
It’s optimal to be - a mythical beast with lyrical speech
Wanna get physical? Please… ya need a miracle spree
Like Senegal breeze, Jam filled with tropic and warm
N’ Tropical storms, that’s how this topic is born
Talk it; inform, Tell the fakers to hide
Cuz all the rage in my mind makes the hatred alive
In this place you will die if you don’t let patience collide,
Bite your tongue every while and sustain what’s inside

This is just a freestyle by a friend, KJ-L. If you doubt that you're on the wack end, go to real rap forums and see what people drop. . u's on the Eedris level, bruv[/color]

[color=olive]Brid, I noticed you said One-star generals must battle at least three Two-Star generals and defeat at least two of them, in order to reach 5 bars. . There's only four two-star generals, hope that don't change nothing. .

Anyways, Calling out Tianshie, you got 24 hours from now to drop your verse, good luck[/color]

[color=olive]That was uncalled for, tbh. Kudos 4 trying[/color]

[color=olive] Ok then, fishcake, leave it in the freezer[/color]

[color=olive]Whoelse would it have been 'cept the Chicken??[/color]

[color=olive]it's cool with me, mind if i gave feed on this one too??[/color]

i want to thank shaz for the rap analysis
what more could hold us together~if not symbiosis
[color=olive] you rhymed right. . good use of vocab[/color]

its great to know~ there's someone to always count on
practice makes perfect, so this rap battle would be won
[color=olive] good rhymes again[/color]

no one else deserves that lyrical highness but makavele
am about to go platinum, bout' to hit the TV
[color=olive] no rhymin scheme, and text battling/rappin is different from the visual/audio ones, so i ain't really seen the TV relevance[/color]

am trying to change the way the game is played
i aint a mutha bleeper~ aint like a LovePeddler that is' always getting laid
[color=olive]could have been worded better, the LovePeddler part seemed forced[/color]

june 23 brought about the birth of a hero
i'm like genie, its time for some mirror mirror
[color=olive]no, no, that wasn't decent at all. . the mirror, mirror tautology was not even genie's but Snow White's step-mum's. . if u're gonna do sims and all, get the facts right first or you'll just kill the verse[/color]

i think it time to hit ma bed, clock says nine-fifty nine
will talk later~been long i saw alexpissu~
tell him i said hiiiiiiiiiiiiii
[color=olive]O-K ending. . since the verse was casual
And yeah, Alex is making some kritikal decisions now, I'll send ur hi's , lol[/color]

[color=olive] lol. . i'll try to append wisdom again

Punchlines - Makavele
he claims he's got 6 rounds of goddamn ammunition
when i bleeped him, his paremeds offered amputation

WordPlay - None

Metas & Sims - SauceKid

Personals - None

Presentation/Delivery - SauceKid

Structure - SauceKid

Creativity - Makavele

Flows - SauceKid

Multis - None

OVERALL - STILL the wack SAUCEKID
[/color]

[color=olive] Shit! I prolly dint tell I was back. . Yeah, it's Sharn06[/color]

[color=olive] What's this I'm seeing??
Gay dealings??[/color]

[color=olive]If you din't like ma analysis, u shldnt have asked for it in the first place.

I'd luv accurate 'feed' on ma verses too but if you dunno what a verse means, why judge it??
Plus if i was battling someone like tianshie and all, I would have at least spent a bit of effort on that, no offense to Dathreat, I just felt you din need much lines, just a keystyle. I mean read-through his verse and tell me why I needed to waste bars there.

Back to Flowshow, I'll explain the parts of ma verse you din't understand to yer now. .

Your punchlines?? It's full of dawgshit
The only time you hit right is when u're rubbing your clit
1. The 'punchline-dawgshit' thing. . Rappers are known as dogs, innit? When a rapper pens something down and doesn't lyk it, he throws it aside as 'shit'. So That juss meant Dathreat was recycling shitty lines.
2. A climax is usu. referred to as a 'hit'. I'm not into giving you the full breakdown, ask ur Dad, lol

i'm baffled, just don't get it, u can't compete - you're nonsense
realise i'm sicker than projectile vomit after eating contests
the word 'baffle'. .look it up. usually in real rap forums, Vocab is a category for verses, not all these shit posted here in half-baked grammar. . so i still don't know what u questioned there

'Datwretch' wouldn't respond. Why not? He ain't got shit planned
I'll keep hittin this ho till he can't stand no more, understand??
1. This basically meant I tot Dathreat would not drop his own verse cuz he has to pre-write it first, since I just basically did a freestyle/keystyle
2. Keep hitting his ho - meant i'll keep dissin him till he can't stand it and he'll be forced to reply with his own verse

I'm so prim & grim, ma rapz dangle your head with a 'bar' like u were in a closet
ONE TIP: Before you drop, shut up, your mouth's dirty, bitch, Wash IT
have you a closet?? there's a bar where u have to hang your shirts and hang it. . the first line juss means i'll lyrically hang Dathreat like a cloth in a closet

Most of ma lines need absolute . . erm . . concentration to get what I mean. You gotta read it patiently to understand. . Anyways, thanks for the feed.

You could feed ma last one. Everyone can[/color]

[color=olive]@Hybrid,
I called Obedz out, tis not the other way round. Maybe you didn't see that bit.

@Obedz,
the only line i felt was the Nas's one, fucking biter. . were u that desperate to beat a girl??

[b]What kind of mutherfucker come to battle can't say his opponent's name right?
Obedz, why dig your own grave, i'm the rap mogul, ghoul, you're nothing but lame, iite??
You planning to hate mate, first take a glance at the exchange rate
Me to You, Obedz, is like pounds to cedis, now i really do wonder why you's so bate
I hate to diss you, fucker, because 2 me, you're just a phrase
We's like words and opposites, when it comes to rap, Obedz ain't got a face
I'm really so sorry I have to be the one to add another loss to you
i'm just 8 lines into this prelude, look, everyone's laughing at - and not with - you
This cat got rabies. . he bites people's lines, and he does it with an attitude
Learn the rudiments of this game and save your mom the shame, dude
Tonight is ya death cuz the rhymes in ya verse bores down to this loser, he's gay
Playin’ Scrabble at home is the only time that u wordplay
Birds, flames, now I’m burnin’ rookies & feedin’ ya cat: only time u served a pussy
Burst ya Behind, Obedz is much worried ‘bout his dick size, cuz his bitch is choosy[he's got no long thing!]
You shoulda asked about me. . I'm Shaz, here to graze elbows
For ya info, you little' nymphos better stay way off because i weeze hotter wind than hell blows
In this case, I'm ripping this fucker's heart from its cage, slay and display it on stage
Drumming this facts into your ears like a new recruit of the boy's brigade
There was once upon a barricade, i went in and soaked it up like marinade
I still can't forget what I did, used that idiot Obedz's neck as a 'masticate'
now as peeps emaciantate, wondering what i'm trying to state
It's all a state of mind, right now i'll mash Obedz up like a blind forcing out toothpaste
Bleep what y'all envisaged, I'm going the Bleep higher
Sulpher dioxide, turn mofo's skin into ma hide, i dun really need luck neither
Draw the curtains, it's the end of the show, go home
Come back when you got more facts bout me, half-scarred like the history of rome [/b] [/color]

[color=olive]Here's yours, Flowshow. .[/color]

i aint trying to win this battle ~ because am already declared the very best
am just here to show everyone~ that your the wackest among the rest
[color=olive]the opener was o.k, try multis - 'very best' could be rhymed with 'hearing tests' or something[/color]

i come from naija land ~ where flowshow is blazin hot
u got a draw and u think u stinkin hot~ we all know u simply nut (not)(0)
[color=olive]the first line was just a filler, the next was nice, it had internal rhymes as well[/color]

even with your bullet proof vest on~my slugz will shatter your fcukin chest off
face first ~ stab your breast~cut your throat~ to make your lungs rest
[color=olive]the first line rhymed, good control of rhymes
the second one was forced, and it din't rhyme
RAP means Rhythm and Pattern. . so can it be called RAP when the rhymes are missing??[/color]

multis and metaphors no other rapper can flip those
you is a fake 'drug' cus you lack 'dose
[color=olive]decent bar. . but still could have been worded better[/color]

flowshow is the winner~ macaroni is the loser
i drop more beats than fruity loops producers
[color=olive]didn't work for me, i'm sorry. the 'winner-looser' bit sounded childish
the next line - really i got what u meant, but u could have worded the line better[/color]

my flowshows come in convoys ~like punches delivered by oliver mccall
like dry lands on wet rivers ~ macaroni's punchlines 4ever lie fallow
[color=olive]what exactly is a flowshow?
and how does 'Oliver McCall rhyme with '4ever lie fallow'? * methinks your dialect/accent is interfering with your pronounciation[/color]

u couldnt spit ill ~ because chocolate is the only bar u swallow
your rhymes are shallow~cus u grew horn like bufallos
[color=olive]nice internal rhymin but the second line didn't correlate - how did the 'horns' he grew affect his rhymes?[/color]

my punchlines severe~ makes u catch cold ~ to make ya body shiver
flowshow is the soul reaver ~ you is the gay mister~ the queen of sheba
[color=olive]cool. . nice for a filler[/color]

throwin punchlines for u is harder than nigerians flashin text messages
asking of u is like asking bout a boxer~ who never knew ali existed
[color=olive]that din't rhyme, no matter what dialect's interferin with ur speech
other than that, it was a good punch[/color]

your style might be fly ~ but am an eagle ~ your a fcuckin penguin
stick ya head into your mothers pussi ~ send u back to your origin
[color=olive]rhymes are important, that's why most Nigerian rappers don't make it to the Grammy stage[/color]

they call me flowshow the cobra~ but i think i am the stingin viper
markolini rhymes are nasty~ like uncleaned poops from his momma diaper
[color=olive]i wonder y 'yo mommas weren't banned in the Star Warz, but anyhoo. . the bar sounded elementary[/color]

they said am the illest~ but i think i surpassed that
cut u to bits ~zip you up like mp3s in ipods
[color=olive]nice punchline. . but no rhymes, and they are very short in length compared to your other bars[/color]

squeeze ya neck till u give up~turn your lungs to gizzards
because me beatin you ~ is easier than chinese eating lizards**
[color=olive]were the stars** implying something?? it think the bar was O.K nothing more/less[/color]

I want hiphop heads to record the time and date markolini turned to macaroni
with one single line i will have him shaking hands with makavelli, u wonder why?
[color=olive]Guy, please the Rhyme and Pattern is what we are after[/color]

dam nur u ekam lliw that enil a tog I esuaceb <<<-read this backwards***
[color=olive]this was damn forced, very unneccessary

ma fav. bar:

multis and metaphors no other rapper can flip those
you is a fake 'drug' cus you lack 'dose

i think you could do with takin your rhyming into consideration a lil more[/color]

[color=olive]If you want me to drop feed on your raps, you can paste them here and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. Cheers[/color]

[color=olive]I would, but prolly not on this thread, cuz itz meant for Makavele[/color]

[color=olive]

Nice to see your staying active on this rap section, so i might as well help out in a few things.

Noonebody has been born with the rap skills and all, it takes things to make things work. Usually on other rap forums, you get people to analyse your verses - also known as 'feed'. No one does that here which is a big shame, thats why the talents here keep dwindling. Anyhoo, I'll try 'feeding' this one. . [/color]


[color=Black]makavele is back on da scenario~making hits
like two brothas at a game of mario~gambling's sweet[/color]
[color=olive]the rhymes are there, but whaddu mean 'back' when you never were here?
and what does the 'game of mario' and 'gambling' have to do with 'making hits'??[/color]

[color=Black]there's alot on my mind~am going to let it go
hit me wit the music~ and let me start to flow[/color]
[color=olive]just a filler. . nothing spectacular[/color]

[color=Black]da industry aint easy as you people think
am spitting out lines to make ladies wink[/color]
[color=olive]not a strong line either[/color]

[color=Black]jumpin in and dashing out~like TITANIC, you're sure to sink
am tarzan and wit a length of rope i could swing[/color]
[color=olive]the first line really din't have a meaning, sorry
have you ever tried multies?? eg.

like titanic, you are sure~to~sink
i'm leaving pricks smashed with no drugs to cure~this~sick

something like that. . it gives your verses more reps than single rhymes[/color]

[color=Black]motherfcukerz said my name shouldn't be up here
but nairaland's worst nightmare is right here[/color]
[color=olive]why rhyme with the same word, 'here'??[/color]

[color=Black]i've got lyrics with canines that could tear
your bone marrows, wats all over u,? its called F-E-A-R[/color]
[color=olive]when you separate words like 'F-E-A-R', then it's meant to be pronounced as single letters not a word.
and if that's what you intended, then, those things don't rhyme[/color]

[color=Black]i'm climbing higher up nairaland's rap tree
its going to sweep you all like katrina's wind[/color]
[color=olive]nice sim - the katrina wind thing- but still you haven't worded that bar well[/color]

[color=Black]you niggaz 'bout to hit the graves like PAC versus BIG
it's a touch of difference when am handling the M-I-C[/color]
[color=olive]the end?? that was not even close to a good closer. . i doubt Hybrid would even take this for a 1 Star rating, not to talk of two

anyways, that's just ma 2 cents.[/color]

[color=olive] @femiify,
i really luv the description you gave yourself down there. . it's absolutely superb, _oniranu

@ Topic

Rhapper[/color]

[color=olive]Tropics[/color]

[color=olive]Plantashun Boyz - You Knock Me Off Ma Feet
Spice Girls - Friendship Never Endz
BoysIIMen - End of the Road
Mya & Mase - Take Me There
Puff Daddy & Mase - I've Been Around the World[/color]

[color=olive]He'd prolly dried the cloth under water too. . lol, get f*cking real![/color]

[color=olive]Black Eyed Peas - Like That[/color]

[color=olive]Fugees - Killing Me Softly
'Silvertrain' can't rembr who sang that either, think it's Silvertrain Crew or somn[/color]

[color=olive] Shit! lol, soz. .anti, wuss gud? which one con make una turn Cadet? [/color]

[color=olive] cigar


_{hey, ajadrage, whatz up w u?}[/color]

[color=olive]Them use am do me? I'm been stuck on this D Banj's MOVE YOUR BODY for minutes now. . i'm prolly on the 6th play now[/color]

[color=olive] There was this Nigerian song - love me jeje, love me tender - can't even remember it well, don't know who sang it either. . _{don't ask this pikin, oh, i must have been what, 3, 4, 5 or sumn, and ma cuz's used to sing it a lot. . lol}[/color]