Welcome, Guest: Join Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 2,741,183 members, 6,501,580 topics. Date: Wednesday, 22 September 2021 at 10:29 AM

Silky's Posts

Nairaland Forum / Silky's Profile / Silky's Posts

(1) (2) (of 2 pages)

Properties / Re: POP CEILING PROJECT FOR A CLIENT by silky(m): 1:03am On May 14, 2019

We are based in Lagos but we can work anywhere in Nigeria. Is the project in Lagos ? If yes, I will charge you #3,500 per sqm. Call me or WhatsApp me for further discussion 07033876712. Thanks

Does the price also vary if outside o Lagos? Like Ibadan for example
Properties / Re: How To Calculate Hardwood Needed For Your House Roofing by silky(m): 2:42pm On Feb 12, 2019
sent sir

Thank you Sir, I will check it.
Properties / Re: How To Calculate Hardwood Needed For Your House Roofing by silky(m): 1:53pm On Feb 11, 2019
I wonder is there a way carpenters charge for roof wood work, one charge is 270K and another 370K cool

The difference is unexplainable, at least someone told me that stone coated sheet is N200 per square metre they charge.
Properties / Re: How To Calculate Hardwood Needed For Your House Roofing by silky(m): 10:23pm On Feb 10, 2019
Hello Sir,

I did not see a reply from you, I'm still waiting.
Properties / Re: How To Calculate Hardwood Needed For Your House Roofing by silky(m): 5:55pm On Feb 10, 2019
that is not true, but you will use full size 2x2 not solo, almost or same with 2x3 solo size
Thank you, I will wait for estimate.
Properties / Re: How To Calculate Hardwood Needed For Your House Roofing by silky(m): 4:27pm On Feb 10, 2019
received, and replied sir.

Thank you sir I as well replied.

I have been advice that instaed of 2x2 for noggins to use 2x3 for holding of the ceilings, is it true?
Properties / Re: How To Calculate Hardwood Needed For Your House Roofing by silky(m): 1:39am On Feb 10, 2019
Well done sir,

Please can you assist me, I need an estimate of amount of hardwood to roof a house of 40 by 80ft using stone coated tiles.

Thank you very much for all help and information here on Nairaland.
Properties / Land In Ibadan by silky(m): 3:27pm On Jun 08, 2013
Not sure which topic to put this under so I created a new thread, hope I haven't broken any rules.

How much is a plot of land in the following areas of Ibadan

1. Elebu After Oluyole Estate

2. Ologun Eru

3. Akobo : Olorunda Abaa, Yawuri Jcn, Iyana Church/Monatan, General Gas

Thank you
Properties / Re: Affordable low cost housing Option For Lagosians by silky(m): 4:09pm On Aug 28, 2012
just an observation, all pics are single storeyed buildings. Does that mean the bricks are not capable of multi-storeys?
Politics / Re: Why Did They Wait This Long Before Telling Us Of Yar'adua's Death? by silky(m): 12:19am On May 06, 2010
Breaking News

Sky news states Acting President's spokesman confirms the President died after a long illness.

Somehow I feel the spokesman meant the President died a long time ago after a short illness, either way he is finally dead. May his soul rest in peace
Politics / Re: Breaking News :- President Umaru Yaradua Is Dead by silky(m): 12:13am On May 06, 2010
Breaking News Sky news states Acting President's spokesman confirms the President died after a long illness.

Somehow I feel the AP's spokeman meant the President died a long time ago after a short illness, either way he is finally dead. May his soul rest in peace
Romance / Re: Breaking News! President Yar'adua Is Dead Confirmed. by silky(m): 11:55pm On May 05, 2010
Sky news states Acting President's spokesman confirms the President died after a long illness.

Somehow I feel the AP meant the President died a long time ago after a short illness, either way he is finally dead. May his soul rest in peace
Politics / Re: Jonathan To Remain In Charge While Yar'adua Recovers by silky(m): 3:30pm On Feb 25, 2010
=====================BROKENED NEWS!!=========================
he has recovered miraculously, see for yourselves

Crime / Re: My Target Was Pastor Chris - Lagos Bomber by silky(m): 12:19pm On Jan 09, 2010
Nice to see Nairaland as vibrant as ever!!

My take on this is to consider what the end result would have been had the lift been working.

He would have delivered the 3 parcels and either left the building anonymously which would have resulted in explosion, loss of innocent lives OR blown himself up with others on the 9th floor.

Either way the result would never have lead to money for him, so putting things into perspective and not getting carried away with people's status the story doesn't add up.  When the US added Nigeria to the list of countries on it's Terror Watch these sort of incidents would have been taken into account as well as activities on the Net.

What is worth knowing is, when there is a high volume of traffic to sites that teach bomb making techniques or promote extremist activities, from a region that region becomes suspect.  If that country has in place what is seen as adequate measure to monitor and combat those activities they are left to handle it within their own borders, however intelligence still gets shared. Whether or not this is the case with Nigeria you can make your mind up on that!

It is quite unfortunate and a sorry state of affairs to be in though but I have thoroughly enjoyed reading each post under this topic.
Sports / Re: Switzerland Vs Ukraine: World Cup 2006 Second Round Match by silky(m): 10:40pm On Jun 26, 2006
Well done to the Ukraine, overall they deserved it as they seemed the more positive from the start. wink
Sports / Re: Switzerland Vs Ukraine: World Cup 2006 Second Round Match by silky(m): 10:32pm On Jun 26, 2006
Switzerland to win this one, I think they played for penalties  angry
Sports / Re: Switzerland Vs Ukraine: World Cup 2006 Second Round Match by silky(m): 9:51pm On Jun 26, 2006
Looks like penalties will settle this one
Jokes Etc / Re: U.s. Navy V Canada by silky(m): 9:16pm On May 14, 2006

I'm glad some people found this 'joke' funny cause that's what it is! Might not be everyone's cup of tea but hey, if you don't like it don't make rash comments based on one thread.

stupidity indeed!
Jokes Etc / Re: U.s. Navy V Canada by silky(m): 3:09pm On Apr 28, 2006
back @tch ya candy A, no sense of humor?
Forum Games / How Smart Is Your Right Foot? by silky(m): 2:57pm On Apr 28, 2006
This is so funny that it will boggle your mind. And you will keep trying it to see if you can outsmart your foot. But you can't!!!

1. While sitting down, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles with it.

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction!!!

I told you so, And there is nothing you can do about it.
Jokes Etc / U.s. Navy V Canada by silky(m): 11:07am On Apr 28, 2006
This is the transcript of the ACTUAL radio conversation of a US naval ship with the Canadian Authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995. Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10-10-95.

Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees South to avoid a collision.

Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees North

Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees South to avoid a collision

Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.

Canadians: No, I say again, you divert YOUR course.


Canadians: We are a lighthouse. Your call.
Jokes Etc / Parrots by silky(m): 10:52am On Apr 28, 2006
A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem.
I have two female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."

"What do they say?" the priest inquired.

They say, "Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?" "That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed, then he thought for a moment. "You know," he said, "I may have a solution to your problem. I have two male talking parrots, which I have taught to pray and read the Bible.
Bring your two parrots over to my house, and we'll put them in the cage with Francis and Job. My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship, and your parrots are sure to stop saying, that phrase, in no time."
"Thank you," the woman responded, "this may very well be the solution."

The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's house. As he ushered her in, she saw that his two male parrots were inside their cage holding rosary beads and praying. Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them. After a few minutes, the female parrots cried out in unison: "Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?"
There was stunned silence. Shocked, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed, "Put the beads away, Frank. Our prayers have been answered!"
Jokes Etc / Project Manager by silky(m): 10:46am On Apr 28, 2006
A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on display.

While he was there, another customer walked in and said to the shopkeeper: "I'll have a C monkey please."

The shopkeeper nodded, went over to a cage at the side of the shop and took out a monkey. He fitted a collar and leash, handed it to the customer, saying, "That'll be £5000." The customer paid and walked out with his monkey.

Startled, the tourist went over to the shopkeeper and said: "That was a very expensive monkey. Why did it cost so much?" The shopkeeper answered: "Ah, that monkey can program in C - very fast, tight code, no bugs well worth the money."

The tourist looked at the monkey in another cage: "That one's even
more expensive! £10,000! What does it do?" "Oh, that one's a
C++ monkey; it can manage object-oriented programming, Visual
C++, even some Java. All the really useful stuff", said the shopkeeper.

The tourist looked around for a little longer and saw a third monkey in a cage of its own. The price tag around its neck read £50,000. He gasped to the shopkeeper: "That one costs more than all the others put together! What on earth does it do?"

The shopkeeper replied: "Well, I haven’t actually seen it do anything, but the other monkeys call him the project manager."
Jokes Etc / Systems Failure by silky(m): 10:35am On Apr 28, 2006
A TRUE story from the helpline of a major computer manufacturer:

Computer Assistant: "May I help you?"
Caller: "Yes, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

Computer Assistant: "What sort of trouble?"
"Well I was just typing along and all of a sudden the words went away."

Computer Assistant: "Went away?"
Caller: "They disappeared."

Computer Assistant: "Hmm, So what does your screen look like now?"
Caller: "Nothing."

Computer Assistant: "Can you see the C prompt on the screen?"
Caller: "What's a C prompt?"

Computer Assistant: "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around the screen?"
Caller: "There isn't any cursor. It won't accept anything I type."

Computer Assistant: "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
Caller: "What's a monitor?"

Computer Assistant: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a T.V. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's switched on?"
Caller: "I don't know."

Computer Assistant: "Well then, just look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
Caller: "No it's too dark in here."

Computer Assistant: "Dark?"
Caller: "Yes, the office light is off so the only light I have is what's coming in the window."

Computer Assistant: "Well you'd better turn on the office light, then."
Caller: "I can't."

Computer Assistant: "Why not?"
Caller: "Because there's a power failure."

Computer Assistant: "A power , a power failure? Aha, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes, manuals and packing stuff that the computer came in?"
Caller: "Well, yes - I keep them in the closet."

Computer Assistant: "That's good. Go and get them and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"

Computer Assistant: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
Caller: "Well, all right then. I suppose. What do I tell them?"

Computer Assistant: "Tell them you're too f****** stupid to own a computer."
Jokes Etc / Don't Ever Lie To Your Mother! by silky(m): 10:09am On Apr 28, 2006
A young man called John invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how handsome John's flatmate was.

She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and his flatmate than met the eye. Reading his Mum's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Simon and I are just flatmates."

About a week later, Simon came to John saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"

"Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her just to be sure.", said John. So he sat down and wrote:

Dear Mother,
I'm not saying that you 'did' take the gravy ladle from my house, I'm not saying that you 'did not' take the gravy ladle, but the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love, John

Several days later John received an email from his Mother which read:

Dear Son,
I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Simon, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Simon, but the fact remains that if he was sleeping in his own bed he would have found the fu@#ing gravy ladle by now.
Love, Mum
Jokes Etc / Who Said Women Aren't Clever by silky(m): 10:03am On Apr 28, 2006
A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you 3 wishes."

The woman freed the frog and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes - that whatever you wish for, your husband will get 10 times more or better!"

The woman said, "That would be okay," and for her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realise that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man
in the world, an Adonis, that women will flock to." The woman replied, "That will be okay because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will only have eyes for me."

So, KAZAM - she's the most beautiful woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you." The woman said, "That will be okay
because what is mine is his and what is his is mine."

So, KAZAM she's the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."
Jokes Etc / Christmas Cake Recipe With A Twist by silky(m): 9:51am On Apr 28, 2006
Christmas Cake Ingredients:
1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar Lemon juice
4 Large eggs Nuts
1 Bottle of Vodka
2 cups of dried fruit

Sample the vodka to check quality. Take a large bowl check the vodka again.
To be sure it is the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.
Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again.
At this point it's best to make sure the vodka is shtill OK.
Try another cup , just in case turn off the mixerer.
Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
Pick fruit off floor.
Mix on the turner.
If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers pry it loose with a sdrewscriver.
Sample the vodka to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who giveshz a shit.
Check the vodka.
Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table.
Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.
Greash the oven and piss in the fridge.
Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the vodka and kick the cat.
Fall into bed.
Jokes Etc / Dead Analyst by silky(m): 9:33am On Apr 28, 2006
An Analyst/Programmer dies and is met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. Saint Peter asks him if he wants to go to Heaven or Hell.

‘You mean I get to choose?’ the man asks.
‘Oh yes, you can have a look at each and then decide for yourself.’ Saint Peter replies. Saint Peter points into the window of Heaven where people are relaxing, reading books and chatting. All seems very pleasant.

Then Saint Peter points into the window of Hell where there is a distinct party atmosphere, music and laughter can be heard and people are definitely having fun.
‘I think I’ll opt for Hell’ says the Analyst/Programmer, ‘It looks much better to me!’
So, Saint Peter lifts the ’phone and asks the Devil to come and escort the man to Hell.

On their arrival, the door opens to reveal a hot smelly room full of people shovelling shit. The Devil hands him a shovel.
‘What’s going on - what about the place Saint Peter showed me?’ asks the man, in a panic.
‘Ah,’ smiles the Devil, ‘that was the demo’.
Culture / Re: Raising Your Children The Nigerian Way When Married To A Foreigner by silky(m): 9:33pm On Apr 22, 2006
How does racism come into the issue of raising up your child in a good way

No parent in their right mind sets out to humiliate their child for the fun of it or for personal satisfaction, having said that some parents let their emotions get the better of them.

Back to the point of the thread, regardless of being married to a foreigner well behaved children from any society will have had good guidance, been chastised a few times allowed to make mistakes and come out good at the end of it all.

"The purest of Golds comes through the hottest of furnaces!" wink

(1) (2) (of 2 pages)

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2021 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 166
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.