₦airaland Forum

[quote author=Ebony-Silk link=topic=249630.msg3655947#msg3655947 date=1238259991]This is a very popular parental topic.
You know, my mom never talked to me about sex. She didn't have to, I had sex ed classes, TV helped, I read magazines and newspapers and talked to friends. Friends: Vital part of your life. They can break or make you Anyways, that's where I got my knowledge about sex from.

If you're the kind of parent that wants to educate your child about sex, this is my plan:

1. Sit her down and let her father do most of the talking jk.

2. Tell her that she's no longer a small child. With increasing age comes responsibility, and she has an obligation to uphold her responsibility.
Let her know the reproduction process, let her know the organs it concerns.
She might have some explicit questions, just try your best to answer them or you can use style to ignore them
Don't tell too much, because then curiosity comes along. And with curiosity comes discovery (we don't want her discovering anything till she's 18 and over ).

(When she gets to high school)
3. Let her know some old tricks boys use to assure that they "won't get pregnant",
Tricks such as "I'll come out when I want to come" etc.
As much as they like to think, they can't control their ejaculation most of the time, they can't control their explosion.

4. Basically, just tell to stay away from boys or else you'd beat the nonsense out of her

5. Step 1 - 3 also go for them.
Just let him know you ain't taking care of no baby and baby mama. He best be ready to move out. Or that you'd disown him if he brings "shame to the family".
(That's what my mom always tell me. Scared me, and still does ).

tGIRL CAN ADD HER OWN [/quote]yes oo, boys can be very tricky when it comes to that, with their sweetest lips, some gals just fall prey to them, some will even tell you don't worry i will take of it if it happens, then when it does, it is then they would suddenly start hearing voices. some will even tell you how they heard you slept with every little fly that passed you by etc. all in the name to avoid their responsibility

[/ And oh yea, no AA.]

LOL , too many baby mamas, the goods ones are hard to find these days, or they are already taken

so at what age, do you think is proper to start the lessons

as odd as this might sound, frying pan is actually in my battle gun, if anyone mess up in the kitchen , the frying will land on their head

[quote author=gombo_s link=topic=254639.msg3654540#msg3654540 date=1238221703]odd posibility[/quote]not as odd as u think

likes to cook

25

believes in love

just give me a sec, b back w/my decision

do u do all those things urself

just curious

not necessarily. . . , i mean sometimes, there is such things as "instant hatred" i mean there are some people you just see/met and instantly hate them even without having previous qualms with them.

i HATE the fact that when your husband dies, his brother have to marry you and possibly have additional kids with you

what if you freakishly dont like him? but you have to oblige all in the name of culture

i have this one

How do you start up a conversation/ discussion about sex education with your kids?

You know many parents feel uncomfortable talking with their children about sexuality. Some are afraid of providing too much information, while some don't know how to start up the conversation.

and those who neglect to tell their kids hope it will be taught in school, that isn’t always the case and I can remember back in my high school, my biology teacher didn't teach us anything about sex ((he was at least suppose to).

however he was busy only telling us who to sleep with, he'd be like oh, you girls shouldn't go out with those short guys or dwarfs Cox u think they r small but then they will get you pregnant blah blah. . . That was the only sex ed. lesson he'd teach, gladly I knew all about sex before hand.

curiously waiting on you guys thoughts

[quote author=Ebony-Silk link=topic=249630.msg3654283#msg3654283 date=1238209545]Hmm, you're very knowledgable when it comes to children.
I applaud you

You still did not answer my previous question: Are you Nigerian, if yes, of what tribe? [/quote]i love children, they are my passion and it seems you, Tgirl n sistawoman do too

my papa, my mama all of them be nigerians oo

mascara cant do without it

why should i buy him anything for this b"day

we are "EX", i dont do the after break up friendship thing

once it is over, it is over for me, no friendship, no calls

[quote author=Ebony-Silk link=topic=249630.msg3654157#msg3654157 date=1238206828]If they're corrected and often hears it in school, how can we stop them from saying it?
But what of the kids born here? Would the same method work?[/quote]you know kids that young using such words dont really IMO, understand the meaning behind it, or its implications.

so, even if they learn the word in school, and you hear them use it, you still have reinforce it to them that is not acceptable. tell the child that although they will hear or hear curse words every day of their lives, in school, etc it does not make it right. sometimes they will tell you, "but, my friends, blah blah, uses it and so on" still, you have to give them an example to show them that because David uses it, doesn't mean you should use it. tell him, if david jumps off a cliff, does it mean that they should do it too ? ( lol i know that example, is kinda scary but just similar things to show them, it is not right to use it no matter who uses it).

set punishment, maybe your mom didn't spank you when she heard a curse word but kids born outside of 9ja, especially in these time and age needs some punishment just to show them that such words ain't right. or try to explain to them how hurtful/bad the meaning of the words are ( in a way they will understand,) however, i dont really suggest punishment whenever, they use it instead use that opportunity in a gentle way to remind them that the use of such words are unacceptable.

it takes time, and patience but with time and good reinforcement, they will learn that such things are unacceptable.

juwanno:
I really would like to know this, why is it that most girls (especially Igbo girls) are always too money conscious  and demanding, please get me right I am not trying to be biased, of cause I am an Igbo boy. I have really noticed this trait amongst Igbo girls, everything [b]they demand from guys (such as buying of cloths, shoes, recharge cards, platting, weaving, braiding of the hair and even fixing of nails) boils down to money. [/b]From a research I carried out I feel its only hungry girls that demand for such things.
A hardworking girl should not be money conscious; there are a lot of big women out there (in banks, ministries, industries, churches and organizations) making their selves useful for the betterment of the societies, nations and world

b4 nko i dont really think you want your girls or igbo girls in general looking like bush babies cox then you would also starting complaining on how

ugly, unkept they are / look blah, blah

so they need the money for proper maintenance and some of them do it not to please themselves, but you "guys"

so stop complaining , if you have the money spend it, if not go carry some village gals

love without money is just too bitter/dry (at least for my sweetest lips ) and i can assure you that some sistas feel the same way

too

the pain varies depending on the woman, some women have it easy, while for others it is not something they can describe.

depending on where you reside, whenever it is your time you can always opt for epidural, it is the best choice, no pain at all ( now who wouldn't want that?)

my friend when she was pregnant she had epidural, and she was watching the movie Home alone, and she didn't know when the baby popped out!

[quote author=Ebony-Silk link=topic=249630.msg3653888#msg3653888 date=1238201077]How do you stop your child from cursing?[/quote]good one ebony

this days cursing is the norm and kids do learn quickly

first the parents/ adults MUST not use any curse word in the house especially when the child is around because then the child would think it is okay to curse after all mommy and daddy does it, so why not try it.

secondly, whenever, the child uses a curse word they must be corrected immediately, this tells them that it is not right to use such words and a little spank on the bum bum wouldn't hurt

as for me, i think attention and approval is the keyword


Don't make comparisons, i think every child is unique and in my IMO, shouldn't be compared with their siblings, you know like how sometimes parents would often compare siblings with each other. ( like, in matters much as hard work, and intelligence) the one being descended on might start feeling that his parents hates him/her likes his sister/brother better/ even though that might not be the real intention behind the parents comparison. and this might start some serious jealousy. so i think each child in the family should be given his/her own goals and levels of expectation that relate only to him/her at least. and encouraging them really helps a lot. like HI John, Great JOB!. words of encouragement is a big a boost at least IMO

Don't dismiss their angry feelings. Contrary to what many people think, anger is not something we should try to avoid at all costs. It's an entirely normal part of being human, and it's certainly normal for siblings to get angry at each other. They need the adults in their lives to assure them that mothers and fathers get angry, too, but have learned control and that angry feelings do not give license to behave in cruel and dangerous ways. This is the time to sit down, acknowledge the anger ("I know you hate John right now but you cannot hit him with a stick". and talk it through.

Try to avoid situations that promote guilt in siblings. First we must teach children that feelings and actions are not synonymous. It may be normal to want to hit the baby on the head, (lol like my little niece) but parents must stop a child from doing it. The guilt that follows doing something mean is a lot worse than the guilt of merely feeling mean. So parental intervention must be quick and decisive.

When possible, let brothers and sisters settle their own differences. Sounds good but it can be terribly unfair in practice. Parents have to judge when it is time to step in and mediate, especially in a contest of unequal in terms of strength and eloquence (no fair hitting below the belt literally or figuratively). Some long-lasting grudges among grown siblings have resulted when their minority rights were not protected.

Set the rules and regulation in the house and stick to it: having rules in the house especially about respect, no violence etc will definitely curb their attitudes towards each other.

spend time with each kids, like one on one with each child, helps it. cox then no one would feel left out or that they don't get any attention blah, blah

family meeting is also great. during the meeting i'd suggest maybe encouraging each person to share their inmost feeling especially about something they don't like in the house, how things are being handled, about each others behaviors, how they can be changed, etc.

lastly i'd suggest family fun together, Yay!!!. cracking humor, playing ball, or anything the family can enjoy as a whole is definitely fun and it lightens the mood.

hehe tgirl good one there

sibling rivalry, who didn't at some point in their childhood and some in adulthood experience it  (except of me nah )

i remember when my aunt gave birth, she already had a 3 yr, when the new baby came, the little gal couldn't stand it. she did everything to get the attention of her mom cox  she felt left out and she hating the new born. at times if no one is watching, she will go and hit the little one, pinch her, and we can only know what happens when the little one starts screaming on top of her lungs. long story short, sibling rivalry can get worse if not handled,
so I'm glad you brought up the question.

tope2000:
i dont use public toilets . . . . i ALWAYS hold my pee till i get home.
yes i know its not good but i'd rather do that an have an infection

you haven't really had the urge of the urgest to pee, i bet you will definitely pee in a public restroom

to avoid splashing water, put lots of tissue inside the toilet, so that your chocolate bombs lol, falls on the tissue instead of the water in the toilet direct which saves you from lots of itchy bum bums

and if seating on it, use lots of tissue to spread on the seats, cover the seats all around and put some inside the toilet to avoid splashing

[quote author=Ebony-Silk link=topic=249630.msg3639193#msg3639193 date=1237951221]Aren't you yoruba? [/quote]ROFLMAO!