₦airaland Forum

@Somegirl

Please, Sista, stop talking about me. You don't like it when people talk about you and I don't like it either. Especially, when you mention our conversations out of context so that they MUST be misunderstood. If you still have issues with me, talk to me but not about me. My dear, good night.

Somegirl, I apologize if it sounded like I was talking  about you. I was using my experience with you as an example but I didn't have to mention your screen name. Again,  you are right, I was wrong. I should have not mentioned who you were, please forgive me.


Pretty Please

If it helps any in my apology, Although this was not the point Chinani was right, your response was genuine.

@Mamaput

Yes Mamaput, everyone thinks that blacks are stronger and that is why they let us suffer in order for everyone else to do good. It's okay, black people are the strongest, they can bare the burdens of everyone else.

At the schools I teach in, most of the teachers assume always that the little black children are the strongest. When they treat black children like they are the so called strongest, their treatment of these black children manifest in a form that suggest, little black children don't have any feelings, do you see what I am saying?

That in it self is a subtle racist thought to assume that black people are more stronger. Although it may be true, that black people are physically stronger, it don't mean that the more physically stronger they get, the less feelings they have. If anything, it means they have more feelings. To think that another person (feels) less or has less emotions than others is reducing that individual to less than human, now you see why black people have been treated less than human by their own and by non black people.

People, black people in nairaland, they feel they are stronger because that is what they have been taught. That is why they see it as okay to comfort white people, even by lying to them while clowning and discouraging their own.

This type of behavior took place on the plantation. Black people were taught that they were physically stronger so their feelings did not matter. In fact, white people felt that black people were so physically strong that they equated black people to animals. They even went as far as to take black slaves from different plantations and place bets on them to see who's nigger slave could beat up who's nigger slave. The one with the strongest slave won the money.

@Chinani

I remember that discussion/poster. I think you might have a point here. But again, the women came w/ doubts and she was given reason to doubt. See what I mean? When white women come in, some people will feel rude saying "be careful" out of nowhere. I feel bad about that thread though b/c I did feel as though that AA woman got discouraged.

That is my whole point, I think that black woman did get discouraged and I don't think they gave her any kind of comfort as a sister. She is a black woman though and she is going to ultimately let that Nigerian play his self out, if that is what he does. I don't see how it can be viewed though as being rude for telling the white woman the truth? Nairaland members tell me off all of the time and they don't care about being rude to me that is why I have adapted the attitude that I am damned if I love them and I am damned If I treat them as if I don't love them so why don't I just be me and keep it real at all of the times, even if the truth hurts

If I am not mistaking, that same white woman was seeing another Nigerian guy when she posted and she was talking about how he was there for her while she went through the ordeal she went through with with her husband, who was also Nigerian. She should have been told at that time to be careful that most likely that Nigerian saw how weary she was and he was going to get as much candy out of her as he could, just like the last Nigerian did

Still on that thread. Wink The difference is what mamaput said (salt). And b/c it's already OBVIOUS that the man was using her. The woman went point for point telling how he'd humiliated & deceived her. It was no point, stating the "you know you got played" statement. With the AA woman we were warning her to shine her eyes (walk w/ her eyes open so as not to be made a fool of) w/ the white woman she'd already been made a fool of, so "sorry" is all that can be said.

I don't agree because 9 times out of 10, white women know they are going to get played but they think that because they have something the black man needs, some where down the line, he is going to see that she is the only one who came through for him and at that time he will totally devote his self to her white behind. In some cases, the black man does devote his self but it is a gamble. Then, when he does not devote his self after her helping him, she plays like he hurt her so bad, when she did this to her self. Nairaland members have told many black sisters that they shouldn't be so stupid to marry a man who needed papers, they should have told that to the white woman as well. Again, we are so quick to comfort white people while shunning our own. Did you know about the white man who came hear saying that all Nigerians should be dead because he was cheated by a Nigerian woman? Well, Drusilla told me that Nigerians in nairaland comforted him and told him they understood his being angry and hateful. Then they tried to convince him that all Nigerians are like that when they should have cursed his ass out. Instead they are civil with angry white people and un compassionate towards their own angry black people, even if their own is not angry and in need of a little assurance,

That's exactly what it means! I wish people in general didn't do this and I wished women and black people didn't do it especially. But we do and so I wrote it b/c that's what the situation currently is. I just hope we can "grow ourselves up" or mature as adults while raising our children better than this.

That is what I do with my daughter and her friends, I teach them and it is working. The communication my girl has with her friends and her friends with her is to be admired. They keep is so real with each other and they take nothing the other tells them as personal but as an opportunity to grow.

You're right. Nairaland posters, myself including, might be doing a disservice to some white women on here. But then, going back to my previous point, no one wants to talk out of turn. Like if you came in only talking about sunshine & lollie pops & I asked a negative question about your partner, wouldn't it sound unnecessary? Like hating?

Hating? I don't think so. If someone asked me something I felt was out of turn, I would ask them the reasoning behind their question, after all we are all adults, even children come at each other with curious questions. Any way, If their reason made sense and I was secure, I would answer them. Example: I was telling another nairaland member to not marry a white man. Somegirl, she is a white nairaland member, I was not even talking to her but she made it a point to interject and ask me was I aware that specific African tribes fought each other? To me, she was talking out of turn because I was not talking to her and to me she was talking sunshine when I was talking lollie pops I first told her that their was nothing about my people that I needed her to inform me of and then I asked her what was the basis of her question? She took many days to finally tell me her basis, and to this day I don't know if her answer was based on further observation of me.

Black Americans really do believe this. I say that b/c I don't think Africans see things in this context. We're not doing it (saying it) to hurt anyone. I think some people have (a) bad advice (b) myopic views & (c) simply feed into other people's existing views/anxieties.

Black Americans Black Africans, what is the difference? The only thing I can agree with you on this one is more so, CA do not mind hurting black Americans more than they hurt each other on the continent of Africa. Also it goes both ways, AA people don't mind hurting CA more than they hurt each other here in America. Still, we are all hurting each other. And the only time we unite is when we set trip with another group of black people.


@Mamaput

One woman was married the other woman not.
The have different stories,
Are we to tell the married woman "anyway he only married you for paper" ?
That will be adding salt.
The other woman is not yet married so one can advise her to be careful.
not everything is black and white.

Just because they had two different stories, does not mean that both woman could not have received equal encouragement.

@Chinani


Something is wrong with my Java scripts so I can not quote you. If you know what is wrong with my Java scripts, please tell me. Being in nairaland without the ability to quote is useless.

Any way, no, I was not saying what I said because of what they have said to me. I remember this one AA woman who came in here for support, she said she was in love with this nigerian man but that she had been hearing some rumors about nigerian men. She talked about how in love they are but she also expressed some of her concerns. She made it very clear that she loved that nigerian man. Some of the sisters in nairaland was telling her that the rumors are true but not for all nigerian men, they were telling her to be careful however becuase when a nigerian man dates outside of nigerian women, he is more than likely to be doing it for the papers.

Another woman came in here, she was a white woman, she talked about how her nigerian man cheated on her with a woman down the street, or somethng like that, and got the woman pregnate. She went on and talked about how she had to find out in the streets that another woman was having her husbands baby. Nairaland members consoled her and told her they were sorry. None of them told her that he only used her for the papers and he never really loved her.

Also, of course white women flatter black men but that does not mean that black people should let flattery cloud them from telling white women the truth. To me, this shows that we validate our beauty by what people otside of the black race think about us. If they are going to give this woman advice, they should give her the advice the same way they gave it to the AA woman, from an objective and subjective point of view. Un my opinion, people in nairaland were jsut telling this white womna what she wanted to hear. At the same time, they were telling the AA woman something that may have caused her to loose hope. We black people love to hurt each other while we nuture and care for everyone else.

@Kimba

I will have to respond to you later because I have to go now. For sure I will be back to respond.

@Topic


The whole idea of Christianity was to lead the sheep to the wolves. White people were the wolves posing as the shepherd. Now that we worship white Jesus, we are also worshipping white people, this is the reason why white people are the richest people on this planet. Black people worship them through the religion they gave Black people. That was the only reason why they introduced their version of Christianity to us, for the purposes of spiritually enslaving black people. What is spiritual enslavement? Spiritual enslavement is when you enemy, becomes your deity. You can't conquer your white enemy if in your mind, ultimately Jesus is white, making white people the so called chosen ones of God.

The question in the minds of black people becomes, how valuable are black people to God? This is what black people are thinking. Now black people are like Cain and Able. The white people are Able the one Cain killed because he was jelous of the offering Able made to God. Able was kept alive by God to walk the earth but a mark was put upon him to show that he was a murderer of his brother. Able had to go out the rest of his life in trying to gain Gods love. That is what black people are now doing, they are going about the rest of our lives to try and please God to the point of sacraficing their self. The whole thing is, the God they are trying to please is the white God, AKA white people in general. White man is God, white woman is Mary the mother of white Jesus. Black people have been really fooled by white people.

If you don't believe me that black people believe that Jesus hence God is white, put it to a test. Ask your young children what color is God or Jesus. Ask any young black child this question. They are going to tell you that he is white. If you ask them why is Jesus white, they are going to say "I don't know" or shrug their shoulders. The reason why they don't know why they believe Jesus or God is white, is because they have been indoctrinated and told through subliminals that Jesus or God is white. A child is not conscious to subliminal affects.

The whole idea of the introduction to white Christianity was to keep black people subserviant to white people, letting white people have their way with black people. White peoples independance depends on the dependance of black people and black people are dependant upon God who is white. White people made sure to make it a never ending 360 degree cycle. Africa is what made Europe what it is today while the people of Africa suffer.

Right now, white people are brining in toxic waste from Europe, and storing it on African land where the toxic waste is killing Africans. Again, the white mans Christian religion has made black people the human sacraficials to the white race. They told us white Jeusus died for our sins, so in our black minds, we don't mind dying for white people sense white Jesus died for us.

Have you seen how Africans worship white Jesus? All over Africa, Africans have thousands of portraits containing white Jesus. Black people deify white Jesus.


White mans job to gain economical independence was done after he introduced Christianity to black people. There is no need for him to now attend church when he has manufactured Negroes who will further his plight.

@Topic


You guys have real issues with the trust of your won people.

It was a cute joke, didn't you see the smiley face at the end of where she apologized for the misleading title? Gee whiz, you guys don't know when to lighten up. Why don't you give your own people a chance? It seems like black people not caring for each other is getting worse and worst.

@Lexfrosty

You didn't bother to mention African Americans or any of the Africans who are descendants of African slaves, but you did say all Africans and that counts us in. I will check out the forum you invited us to, and thanks for the invitation.

@Crazykid

a prostitute is a prostitute.
besides you won't be able to satisfy her sexually co's she's been torn wide open.

You are really crazy for that one. That is not true, a woman's stuff is very capable of snapping back. In fact I have heard that because of the experience prostitutes have, they have some of the best stuff a man can get. Why else do you think men pay to be with them?

Also as far as being able to satisfy an ex prostitute, when a woman is a prostitute, do you think she enjoys' having sex with different men?

Sex with one man is the most rewarding and a woman knows this. More than likely a prostitute who wishes to change her life, she will be very grateful to a man who wishes to be faithful to her and more than likely the sex that she has with him will be the best she ever had.

I give Hotguy a 10 because I think he was talking about me


Were you talking about me Hotguy? you better have or else Im gonna have to take back my 10 rating of you

@crazykid

@Topic
I think the reason is that Nigerian girls pretend a lot.
they talk less about sexual issues. and behave as if they are virgins.
they hate getting kissed in public places and act as if they are saints.
now that we guys have reduced our perssure towards them, they have shifted the blame on us saying we aren't romantic enought.

Girls take time oh!

I think you are right about that but it goes both ways.


A Nigerian mans idea of Romance is sweet words, smiles, long deep looks into the womans eyes and then into the bed to physically express those words and smiles and deep looks into the eyes. The thing is, they are so eager to get into bed, only to huff and puff, they think that is romantic.

Don't get me wrong, Nigerian men can be taught how to be romantic and once they learn it, it all becomes very natural for them. The reasons why Nigerian men are like this however, is another topic.

As for Nigerian women, I bet they are one of the sexiest and hottest romantic women that ever lived, they just are not allowed to express it because Nigerian men want them to be angels. Then, when the white woman comes in and freaks the Nigerian man off, he wants to complain that Nigerian women are to inhibited. Don't get me wrong, there is a difference between Romace and freak offs but if one can not be romantic and he is to busy being freaked, he will not be able to embrace Romance because all he wants is to be freaked.

Nigerian women need to be who they are, be sexy, be cute, be hot. stop trying to please the Nigerian man and please your self. The Nigerian man will have to conform to you because if you keep conforming to him, you will be damned if you do and damned if you don't' so you mine as well be sexy, hot and romantic so that you can have your cake and eat it to.

@Cheavroi

It depends, is the woman still a prostitute, if she is, then she should not be considered for marriage.

However, if she was a prostitute in the past, and she is now a productable citizen, I don't see why not.

We all have skeletons in our closets, at least you are aware of what this womans skeleton is. However though, before marriage test should be conducted to make sure she does not have AIDS or HIV but then again, even if she were not an ex prostitute, those test should still be done. Even if she was a virgin, you would still never really know if that is the truth.


No body's perfect, and when it comes to love, you have to accept people the way that they are; other wise you will never get a chance to see how love is if you are constantly looking for ways to condemn the very person who will be there for you and always love you.

Can you marry an ex prostitute? the answer is yes.

Can you marry a woman who is presently a prostitue? the answer is no.

@Christiana

Big Sista,

I never knew u a good Advicer and a good lecturer as well u gave that guy a good advice.

Thank you for the nice comment little sis.

@AmeriNaija

You are experiencing freedom away from all the Naija rules, that is what you are experiencing. There is nothing wrong with that. Believe it or not, I am very social with all types of people but when it comes to Romance and family, I stick to my own. To many black people have been crossing over to white when there is no need for that. What are we saying about our people when we do that? Black people need to stick together and stop this epidemic of going over to white people as if white people are the only ones who can save us from us.

Hey girl, try a Jamaican try a AA just don't try white, please don't. There are plenty good black men out there that would love to have you, don't give up on them. As for the advice Davidylan gave you, I believe his advice is of a biased view, he has already told everyone that his girlfriend is white so he would fall into the category of a Naija man who is just plain old not interested in a black girls period. What he said about Jamaicans was not right and he has also not said good things about AA people. He is a victim of border line self hate but he is tipping over into full fledged self hate.

I know he is going to see what I posted and after that it might be some shyt but I will do my best to behave and not screw up your topic.

@Gaby

No wonder you appreciate my blunt character we are both happy Cappy's, My birthday is January 11th