₦airaland Forum

@Efani


Is this the girl the one who stole your heart?

She looks like she is open to all men and she looks like she has had them all. Asian, Hispanic, Indian and now she's trying you Good luck!

She also looks like she is on something.

What ever she is on, are you on it too?

@Chinani

Ok, now that I've heard more of the story I see how you had a negative reaction. Sounds dramatic (in a bad way). If you felt (vibes) that the hairdresser didn't like AA people/women I can't argue with that b/c I believe in vibes (good/bad energy).  I just hope you don't stop giving people a chance b/c of a negative experience.

No, I would not give people a chance because of one bad expreience. The Fulani woman and the Somali woman, they are still my people but I will not be sitting up getting my hair done, not liking it and not saying anything because I don't want them to think I was like the other AA woman. I have to be able to speak my mind, after all, I'm paying my money. I work hard for my money and I will not be letting the way people think cause me to waist my money.  Therefore, if I ever have to get my hair done again outside of my regular braider, I will not be going back to that shop. However, I don't have a problem with trying out some other sisters.  

don't think the Fulani background had anything to do with the woman's reaction. As you said, the AA woman "provoked the argument" (sic). In my opinion, they both behaved badly or rather neither behaved well/level headed.

Okay, well I was wondering if you did know Fulani backgroud because I didn't want you to say that I was jumping to conclusion and making assumptions. And, yes as I said, they both behaved badly. It takes two.

As far as "getting out of control in her place of business" some subscribe to the notion that if you can't vent on your property then where can you vent? I think the Fulani woman prolly felt her back against the wall. Based on your response it sounds to me like you didn't go back b/c the Fulani lady lacked professionalism not b/c of any African/AA conflict. Just a thought.

I'm not going back because of both, professionlism and the fact that she argues with her customers in front of other customers. Customers that see that she is capable of arguing with a customer, will get the impression that in certain issues concerning their hair, they will not be able to discuss it with their hair dresser. In this case the hair dresser would be the fulani woman.

Yes, it was her property but she still has to conduct her self properly. It is a place of business which will bring her in money. She lost me as a customer, she will no longer be getting my money because now I get the feeling that I can not tell her the truth, that I don't like my hair, with hopes that she will happily fix it, do you see what I am saying? If I do have the nerve to complain, I get the impression that in her mind, she will see me as a bad AA woman like the last one who provoked the arguement. To prevent from that happening, I will just find another place I can build a new relationship with.

@Chinani

Ok, now that I've heard more of the story I see how you had a negative reaction. Sounds dramatic (in a bad way). If you felt (vibes) that the hairdresser didn't like AA people/women I can't argue with that b/c I believe in vibes (good/bad energy). I just hope you don't stop giving people a chance b/c of a negative experience.

No, I would not give people a chance because of one bad expreience. The Fulani woman and the Somali woman, they are still my people but I will not be sitting up getting my hair done, not liking it and not saying anything because I don't want them to think I was like the other AA woman. I have to be able to speak my mind, after all, I'm paying my money. I work hard for my money and I will not be letting the way people think cause me to waist my money. Therefore, if I ever have to get my hair done again outside of my regular braider, I will not be going back to that shop. However, I don't have a problem with trying out some other sisters.

don't think the Fulani background had anything to do with the woman's reaction. As you said, the AA woman "provoked the argument" (sic). In my opinion, they both behaved badly or rather neither behaved well/level headed.

Okay, well I was wondering if you did know Fulani backgroud because I didn't want you to say that I was jumping to conclusion and making assumptions. And, yes as I said, they both behaved badly. It takes two.

As far as "getting out of control in her place of business" some subscribe to the notion that if you can't vent on your property then where can you vent? I think the Fulani woman prolly felt her back against the wall. Based on your response it sounds to me like you didn't go back b/c the Fulani lady lacked professionalism not b/c of any African/AA conflict. Just a thought.

Yes, it was her property but she still has to conduct her self properly. It is a place of business which will bring her in money. She lost me as a customer, sh will no longer be getting my money because now I get the feeling that I can not tell her the truth, that I don't like my hair, with hopes that she will happily fix it, do you see what I am saying? If I do have teh nerve to complain, she will think I am a bad AA woman like the last one who provoked the arguement. To prevent from that happening, I will just find another place I can build a new relationship with.

@Somegirl

I do understand playing around. Sweetlove was the one who started it, now your going to keep it goiong

Somegirl, scheinen Sie wie ein nettes Mädchen. Ich bin bereit zu beginnen, Sie zu kennen, wenn Sie bereit sind zu beginnen, mich zu kennen. Halten Sie im Verstand, them ich versuche, zu erlernen von den weißen Leuten, wie sie an schwarze Leute denken und das ist, was ich von Ihnen erlernen möchte. Ich bedeute, ich spreche realen harten Kern erlernend, nicht dieser Leichtgewichtler, der vom Wahrheit Lernen ängstlich ist. Ich möchte nicht erlernen, daß sie vom Braun, das schwarzes people.I riecht, erste Handerfahrung von Ihnen möchte. Glauben Sie ihr oder nicht, ich haben weiße Freunde, die sagen, daß sie die guten sind. Sie können, ich glaube, aber sie zu den supress mein Denken versuchen. Supressing ich wird nicht helfen, den Abstand zu füllen. Mit Ihnen ehrlich sein, die weißen Freunde, die ich habe, sind sie in der Ablehnung und sie scheinen wirklich, egoistisch zu sein. Ich schätze, daß der Grund, warum ich sie meine freinds nenne, ist, weil ein Teil von mir wirklich für sie traurig fühlt.

PS, weiß ich, daß die zwei braunen nosers AKA als Münder, sie zum Aufstellungsort gehen werden, den Sie mich gaben und habe dieses intepreted. Dank für das Erklären mir über den Aufstellungsort. Er war, mir mindestens eine Woche zu dauern, um einen Einfluß meines firend zu erhalten, das Deutsches mit intepret spricht was Sie zu Mamaput sagten, Sie scheinen, herzlichst ehrlich zu sein, mindestens jetzt Sie do.LOL

@mochafella

Its not something I intend to get into though it obviously interests you.

I'm not really interested all like that. Please do not turn this around. I only asked you to tell me of the problem you had with me because I don't remeber having a problem with you. It is obvious that you have a problem other wise you would not have said this below,

Some could say the same about you, you know.

When you make a statement like that, you should back it up with your own experience of me, not from what you see me write to other people in my post. As I said, you don't know the roots of what I go through with other people here.

But, as I can see, your trying to turn this into a big issue, not in the mood for that. What you said in the post about people passing up my baby because of me, and then what you said here, clearly shows you are looking to provoke me to show you what you feel is my true colors, don't have time for your kiddy games.

If you want to talk to me about my issues, talk straight to me instead of dropping hints here and there. Only to deny the hints you drop after I nicely confront you about them.

@Mochafella

What is your theory?

Im not going to talk about it because my theory can not be backed up by the bible uless you go beyond the bible and it's origins. Not willing to get into a religious human creation arguement. I am just not willing to do that.

Some could say the same about you, you know.

Have I ever been pushy and mean towards you? Don't tell me about what you seen me go through with other people because you don't know the roots of problems I have had with other people. I want to hear from you, when have I ever been mean and pushy towards you? Mochafella his self.

@Superman

haha! im nigerian not african!

Are you just Nigerian?

Or are you Nigerian European

@Mochafella

I didn't ask about your thoughts on African suffering, I just want to know who you consider as African. I'd rather we do cloud the question with tangents.

You don't have to be so mean and pushy.

I wasn't going on a tangent, I merely said all that in hopes that I didn't have to say in laimens terms that Black people do not accept each other but we accept white people and will call white people more african than our own brothers and sisters. We are all Africans rooted in Africa despite our differences, and that was my point.

Am I right in saying you consider melanin as the "preferable" determinant of Africaness? but that even if you do not have melanin i.e. Albinos you are still African if you are from the original African parents?

African= coming from African parents, having deep African roots, descending from Africans who were also descendants from Africa.

modified: coming from an original African who is from any part of the continent of Africa.

One can grow up in Africa and not be rooted from Africa, that does not make him/or her An African. However, they would be African influenced.

That's all I have to say about the matter, you have your views and I have mine, we can agree to disagree, I really don't care.

@mochafella

um everyone does have roots in Africa according to the Albino == White theory. Is melanin level the determinant of who you consider to be an African

I do not share the European white descending from African Albino theory, I have another theory on that I will not go into.

However, I do believe that white people are Gods last human creation and the year 2006 shows how many years they have been here. We are adhering to a time period that is white ordained, not the original, African ordained. African people are more than 2006 years ancient.

As far as melanin being a determinant. The higher the melanin the higher the roots. We all come from the blackest of the blackest people, even a lighter skin or an Albino original CA. My point for bringing up melanin is because in order to thrive in Africa, you must have melanin because it is very hot. The Albinos they are a result of to much melanin therefore they have no pigment. They are the opposite. But, they come directly from two original African parents, so by default, weather their skin is black, brown or not, they too are African. God allows this defect to happen in my opinion to teach Africans something they have not learned. The bad treatment African Albinos get from their own people is a result of fear on behalf of Albino parents. We don't understand how this could happen, why are we black and this child we had has come out to not look like us at all. Albino children are very much so psychic, they pick up instantly that they are frowned upon. This causes them to develop an unhealthy psychology. That psychology comes from rejection not only by your family but also by society. No matter how light your child is, your child should not be frowned upon because he/she looks different, that child should be treated like the rest of your children. This is a form of self hate, if you don't understand how you could create something that looks different from you, instead of seeing that child as a gift from God, than you will not understand you. If you do not understand you, you fear you and all that you can do.

This in my opinion is why Africans black people as a whole are suffering at the hands of European white people, the people who do not look that different from our African Albino children as far as color is concerned.

The lesson we are supposed to learn from white people is, if we do not love and respect each other, no matter the differences, no one else will love us and respect us and they will show hate towards us along with a lack or respect for us as humans.

@Donzman

Are you alright? Why the hell would I send your e-mails to Babyosi, I don't even have the e-mail address of any of those people. Any smart human being can see through you and what you're thinking, they don't have to read your e-mails.

If you did not email Max, Eu nises or Babyosisi, you must have told one of them, they are all the same to me. I forget which one it was, she blurted out exactly what I told you I felt about your character in the email I sent you. I only told you how I felt about your character no one else. So, if not through an email that you told one of them, it must have been told by you in one of these nairaland topic areas. I see how I have went into a few topic areas for the first time and I see that people (babosisi) are bringing me up.

@debowsky

@ Sista - some groups in Nigeria (call them tribe, culture, whatever) have been known to migrate a lot - the Hausa/fulani herders are known to be highly nomadic, and the Igbo people are known to travel far and wide in their trading/business dealings more than any other group in Nigeria.

I was a joking when I asked to be schooled on whether or not the Igbo are a nomadic people.
However, in response to this quote, Not only in west Africa are there Nomadic people, herders or people who travel far for business dealings, this is something that some Africans all over
Africa do. My point is, for these people this is either due to choice that they do this or it is because of environment AKA the make up of culture. If you beg to differ, tell me how?

concerning your assertion that culture only depends on 'where you are on the earth and what the earth produces', i beg to disagree. there is obviously a lot more involved than that. certain groups of people associate together because they exhibit or posess certain preferences, not simply because of where they ae located e.g the hindu's of india revere the cow and do not eat meat, but close by are the moslems who believe in eating meat. is it a lack of meat that makes hindu's revere cows?

It may or may not be that they lack cows in those areas and want to preserve them. Or, It can be that they do not want to eat meat because the Hindus do not want to do what the Moslems do. Or it could be that they do not lack meat but have other desirable things to eat that they have a high source in. Or it could be that a cow produces milk and they revere the cow as some type of animal relating to fertility. Bottom line, if it ain't nothing else to eat on this planet, but cow, they will not care about their preference due to what ever reason. Preference is a luxury, something we all can do without. But, we can't all do without what we need. We all need to eat, sleep and go to the bathroom oh, and be happy None of those things require one to be a part of a certain culture. Again, preference is tied into environment or what one is exposed to by other environments.

(Example) Starving Ethiopians, Ethiopians have a culture but the rich ones have a luxury called prefereance. The poor and starving Ethiopians, they don't get to be included in culture made up by preferances. They eat what you give them and if their little bones and muscles can help it, they will shit out what they eat afterwrds. One will not talk about or boast about ones culture when one is hungry and one needs to shit  

another case: the igbos of eastern nigeria are very republican in their traditional system of government, never believing too much in a central or overall leader, unlike the yoruba's of western nigeria, who always had an overall 'oba' or king who had more or less superior authority. these are just a few examples which lead me to believe culture is much more than what you have just said. I do believe Africans are all essentially the same, but do not be too quick to oversimplify the differences.

I was not over simplifying the differences, the bottom line is they are all black people and they are all African. They are also all Natives to the Continent of Africa. If whitey decided to come and move all the Africans off of the continent, are Africans going to be stupid enough to say we Igbos will fight these white people by our self? Or, are the Yurobas going to be stupid enough to say we will wait on the Oba to tell us to help the Igbo save our land? Will South Africans be stupid enough to say, we will just let whitey have his way, west Africa is no where near our culture? Will the North Africans be stupid enough to say we are Arabs, not Africans? and so fourth through out Africa. Yes, those Africans may be stupid enough to say or think something like that if they keep harboring on the distinct differences in culture. It is so interesting to me how all of the Nigerians want to be claiming Fela as there brother, in fact Africans from various parts of Africa claim him as their brother and someone they identify with culturally but only if someone is famous or has money, he or she will be the one all Africans claim no matter what part of Africa he or she is from. 

(Example) One of my Igbo friends talks bad about the Yoruba, I mean really bad to the point where it makes me sick to my stomach. But, as soon as I start talking about how much I love Fela and I'm talking to another AA fan of Fela about how Fela studied AA Jazz when he went to Europe, he starts complaining and telling me I don't know what I am talking about, that Fela is the origianl and he learned nothing from AA's. The whole things is, Fela is Yuroba, from the same tribe as thoughs Yurobas he talks bad about.     

yet another example - in W. Africa, 80-90% of males are circumcised, compared to 20-30% in central 7 southern Africa. a lot more goes into this thing called 'culture'. I by no means claim to be an anthropologist, but of the little i've read/hrd from others, i think the issue is much more multifaceted than you have asserted.

I don't know much about this but I am going to give an example of how this is not a matter of culture but a matter of choice due to the need of enviroment or the want of luxury, choice. An Igbo man posted in nairaland saying he lives in China and he is married to a Chinese woman. He said the Nigerians in china harass him and his wife and things are hard for him. He also mentioned some differences between he and his wife. Now, that Igbo man would not be in China if he was making it, surviving in Nigeria the way he feels he should but my point is, he ended up in China married to a Chinese woman. Igbos circumcise but not Chinese people, they leave that nasty looking skin right on their little boys stuff. The Igbo man said he had a problem with that but in the end, the child was not circumcised. He was conscious when he married this Asian woman that he may have to change some of his so called culture, again a choice a preference due to enviroment. Not something we people need. Preference is a luxury. Something that we don't need but something we acquire along the way due to circumstances or just plain old preferance.

traditional divisons/migrations in cultures have been caused by differences in opinions, habits, and preferences, over time these changes get more and more integrated into the psyche/make-up of the individual making them (to a large extent anyways) very different from others

But, this stuff amongst Africans happens everyday. This still proves that in the end, culture depends on where you live and who you are influenced by in the area that you live or migrate to.

(Example) All Africans of today are no where near the way the ancestors were. Another example, at one time, all Africans lived in the bush, mountains hills, etc., but some of them, not all of them migrated out into so called civilization. Was this do to an over crowding of environment?

As an aside, It seems to me that you believe its skin color that is the highest determinant of who an "African" is? If not why can't a 'white egyptian' be more 'African' than you? Is it because you are black and she isnt? what makes an African?

African people are the original people, Gods first. African people are distinct from everyone because of blood types giving birth to all blood types and the high Melanin they posses, making them sun people. The sun loves African people. White people can assimilate into the ways of a certain African group, but that does not mean they are descendants from Africa or African and definately not sun people. They can by law be a citizen of Africa if they were born there or are there by choice but still, they are not African. It just means that they are long time visitors to the land of Africa and they have been very much welcomed by African people.

(Example) If you take an African violet out of African soil and place it in China soil will that African violet become a China violet and will it's children become China violets?

Roots is what makes you an African.

ethnicities/cultures in Africa are good things if we do not let them tear us apart, we all need more education and understanding to live together in peace

I agree and this is why Africa should not be wasting time on what African eats this, or what African is nomadic and so fourth.

from a proud African/Nigerian/yoruba son willing to learn

Glad you are open, even if we agree to disagree.

@Drusilla


I have experienced Donzman to be not cool. He is very disrespectful and he is much so child like.

I tried to be civil with him one day and tell him about me and why I feel the way I do. He totally disrespected me and then he showed the emails I sent him to Baboisis and Maxwell. How I know is because I forget which one it was Babi or Max, they repeated something to me that I said to him in the email. Babi she has some traitorous and cunning ways. She Maxwell and Donzman, I have seen what they each will resort to in order to prove their point, trickery and disrespect.

Babi tried to get me banned and then she tried to make me look like I was talking to my self by completely modifying 4 post of hers that I had already responded to. Fortunatly I was able to retrieve the quotes and tell everyone to look at the quotes to see that I was not talking to Babi off of the subject. Maxwell, she tried to build a case against me by following me from different topic to topics collecting quotes to post in this discussion to prove that I am a racist. Max, Babi and Donzman have each gone through a desperate ploys to prove their points.

Any way, again Good luck!

modified: who is this Nutter?

@Drusilla

I just read what you are going through with Babosis and Donzman. You did good sis, you was hanging in there. I been down this road with Donzman. He believes that a white Egyptian woman is more African than I am, that was his opinion. Babosisi, she does not want anything to do with AA people and that is the bottom line. The proof is in the absolute advice she gave Uju and how she never has anything good to say about AA's. I mean this woman has never said anything good about AA's. Any how, good luck!

Culture is based on the resources that govern your area. If you live in a place where Gold is an abundant source, more than likely it will be a cultural thing for you to where gold to adorn your self. If you live in a place where torqoise is abundant, most likely the people in that area will have some kind of cultural belief that there is something spiritual about torqoise and they will adorn their self with Torqoise. No difference, only environmentally different.

(Example) Culturally speaking, what is trading all about? Is it about trying something new? Is trying something new cultural? Is trying something new a necessity? Or is trying something new about producing a product in demand?

Reason why I asked, Africans were not aware of guns until introduced by Europeans. Today, Africans use guns but it wasn't in their culture/history to even know about guns let alone producing guns. How has the knowledge of guns and the use of guns affected Africa and Africans as a whole/ As a matter a fact, how has the introduction of foreign weapons period affected the entire Africa? So called Culturally speaking of course.    


The thing is though, what ever the earth produces more so in our area, that is how we will shape our culture according to our environment and the resources that environment offers. If our environment changes, we will change. Like Nigerians moving out of Nigeria, is it a cultural thing for Nigerians to move so far away in order to make their life better? If so, school me because I didn't know that Nigerians have a history/culture of being a nomadic people


This goes to show that culture should not make a point in how to divide us and say we are different. All Africans need to eat, shit, clothe their self, have a home and raise children. How Africans do this is determined by their environment, the part of Africa they occupy. If your environment occurs a long time drought, I bet no one is going to care about what they eat, dress, how they build their homes and all that so called cultural stuff when it is time to find a place that does not have a drought, to relocate to, in order to survive. (Example) some where else in Africa or somewhere out of Africa if the need be. Like Drusilla said, when it comes time to eat, shit and basically live, Africans all have that need and culture will change if need be in order to survive. All Africans are Africans. If your enviorment don't produce what you need to eat jellof rice and plantains, if you got to resort to eating dirty rice and sweet yams, believe me you will an at that time, you will be the same as the people who you are eating that food with. I wonder who that could be

When you look at it, the only thing Africans do not have in common is what part of Africa they occupy and the production of resources that part of Africa they occupy produces. This alone does not make one group of Africans any different from another group of Africans.

@Drusilla

Maybe that is the truth but from my point of view, I did not see it that way. AA were bashing CA's more from my point of view. And several members of my family have married Nigerians FOR the money. So that never felt like an "swindle of the AA" to me.

The people who made a business deal, they were not swindled or duped and the African that got his papers was not used. Each party had an understanding which should have ultimately cleared up any misunderstandings. In these cases, honesty was a tool much needed for securing no messy problems.

On the other hand though, there are some Nigerians who lied to an AA woman or man pretending to love her to get his or hers papers without paying for them, now that is not right. However, all the signs were there that the man or woman was not true. But, the games that CA men and women play, are not clear to the AA woman/man because she/he sees him as a sincere man/woman because he/she is straight from the mother land, Poor thing, she/he is really setting her/his self up. This is what I mean by being duped.

Not to mention the Nigerians scams some Nigerians try to play on AA's. I know some AA's personally who were duped by a Nigerian scam. I accept your opinion but still I say that we are equally cunning CA's and AA's. However, can see how it might seem like the CA's are the ones who are being treated bad by us being that they come to America where we are at but I wonder how it would be if AA's were going to Nigeria in need of assistance? What would it look like then in terms of who is doing who the worst?

All I mean is that you seem to believe that you are on a Nigerian board, talking to people with a different culture from a different land. That's what others would call the plain reality but what is even more real for me, is that these people have suffered the same exact fate and problems that we have faced. In fact I would say that AA have experienced most everything the Nigerian has and then add in the horror show of living as a minority among whites. To me it means, they are me, just without all the extra experiences.

Yes, I totally agree that they have suffered the same fate as we have but many years later, LOL I am always astonished as to how they are running from Africa to come here when we were taken from Africa by force and brought to America

I always looked forward to making all my money here in the US and then taking me and my daughter and getting out of here to go back to Africa, Ghana preferably. But, Ghanians are running away from Ghana as well, damn.

No one black group is better than any other black group on this I agree. However in my mind it is obvious that because of the extra experience that AA have had, we are more qualified to deal with the reality's of shall we say "the West or the White world"

I agree with you on this one 100%

Black unification does not include AA ALL returning to Africa. Maybe the old folks and small children can go back. I heard it is great for rich old black retirees, who can take some of their grandchildren if they like.

No, it doesn't but it does include having the option to return to Africa if that is your choice and you are welcomed by other brothers and sisters when you return. Pan Africanism is an idea that Africa will be the central for all Africans around the world. It will be a place that if we pull together, economically, we will be independent and not looking to run from Africa. Have you heard of the Song by Fela called "Centre of the world, Africa" It is a beautiful song. If you have not heard of it, here is a link to the thread I started in memory of Fela, you can listen to the song here. Roy Ayers an AA man teamed up with Fela to produce this song.

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria?topic=27281.msg660191#msg660191

Our job is here, this is why God sent us any sooner return before the completion of our task would not be successful. This is why God removed Marcus Garvey.

Perhaps so but even if God did remove Garvey, Garvey had already planted the seed and it's way past harvest time, what do you think?

@Somegirl

Sista, then please ask me kindly to translate for you and don't jumb to conclusions. It was a reply to one of Mamaput's posts in this thread I was telling her that I won't tell her that she is not "white" or that she is not "black". IMHO, she is both but I will accept whatever she tells me.

Wasn't at all jumping to conclusions if I was, I would have told you that I knew you were saying something wrong and that would have been jumping. However, I did let you know that I would have what you said translated due to my suspicion. I learned that from big sis Babiosisi. She told uche2nna one day something in Igbo and my Igbo friend was standing right here to translate it for me. Babiosisi was trying to keep me running my mouth so I could get banned and she even went about ways to set me up. She is a veryy cunning woman not an honest woman like me
So, I learned from her to be suspicious of anyone who is having it out with me and all of a sudden they begin to speak their language to another person after dealances with me.

PS: If you come across something in German, French, Spanish, Chinese, Japanese, Russian, Dutch, Italian or Portuguese that you wish to read, try http://babelfish.altavista.com. It helps sometimes.

Thanks

Really? It would be nice if we could get to understand each other better. I like SOME parts of what you write (e.g. concerning the rights of albinos to be treated just like everybody else and that black people should not fight each other, though I would replace "black people" by "human beings"  ).

Hey, I have no problem with that but I caution you, I am very honest and I don't hold anything back that is in need of coming out. People get ill from holding things back like cancer eating you up or soemthing. As far as the Albinos are concerned, they do deserve to be treated as humans want and need to be treated. Don't agree with you about replacing black with humans. It is already clear that black people are human but it is not clear to those who treat them inhuman because they are black. So, when we speak of black people sticking together, that is a very distinct sticking together we speak of, being, that we are the only group of people at the bottm of the totum pole in terms of sticking together

Don't know if you will understand but if not, that is okay we will just have to agree to disagree.

Sometimes, my feeling is, Sista, that you are not as bad as you appear here. MAYBE, it's just your way of trying to make people see your point or the only way you can write when being angry. But I don't have the feeling that your method is very successful or that your anger is doing you any good.

You see me as angry, that is your choice for word, I see me as very, very dissapointed.

As far as how you seeing me as not bad as I appear to be, that was real sweet of you but what is more important to me, is how I see my self. No pun intended  

@925

the thread ran up to 500 pages, this is just a tip of the iceberg as to what she does to spread the truth, is not for sista to tell people whom and whom not to be with. She seems to forget that one the founders of Afrocentrism that she brandishis her self to be preaching was ''Bob Marley'', a mixed race person, who is black?: ''Prince'' or Michael Jackson, to me I'll say ''Prince', but prince is also a mix race person, a wise person would really think deeply here.

I have been trying to swallow what was the use in you posting this?
Where did I ever say that you should not be with your wife? I only said that you are hypocritical to be telling black women that black men get a real white woman because the black women who try to look like white women are fake. In my opinion, with your position, having a wife who is white, that can be perceived as your trying to give and indirect reason for your choices. I gave you several reasons to back that up if you bothered to read them.

Also, it seems like you try to promote your wife more than you promote your self when it comes to black peoples business, who are you trying to convince with always telling people of the good things that she does? people in Nairaland or your self? When a person is doing good from their heart, they don't feel the need to keep telling people about it unless they have an ulterior motive. What is yours? Your wife probably goes through a lot trying to satisfy you in keeping up this image that she is a good white person and that she is sincere about seeing black people as equal to whites. I can imagine it is not easy for her but evidently you are doing something for her that is well worth the hassle for her to continue everyday with the hate whitey on one hand but accept the good ones on the other hand. Geez, what a tough job to have to convince people that you are one of the good white people, particularly when your husband is an alleged Afrocentrist.

1,   During the days of slavery while the whole of the  west enslaved black people,  the whole of the eastern block [that later became the soviet union] was under the king of Russia, and the only black slave that was sold to Russisa worked in the kings palace and the king so much liked him that he allowed him to marry and live like a free man, the king of Russia named him ''Пушкин'' [Puchkin] and his grand son ''Александр Сергеевич Пушкин'' [Alexandr Sergievich Puchkin] later became the greatest Russian writter and poet, in the whole of eastern Europe every city has a street named after him, even till today.

Never heard of a Russian King, why didn't you supply a link or a name of this alleged King? And if this did happen like you say, that does not negate that fact that the King saw it as okay to have a black slave. And, what was it that this alleged slave did to make this white King like him so much that he actually saw him as human? What ever he did, it wasn't good enough to make the King help in putting slavery to an end for the rest of the black people. Don't you get it? Thats not good enough.  As far as your saying that slave lived as a free man, was he really free to go back home, maybe back to Africa if that was his home? Or, only free enough to keep the Russian King and his associates company? You say they named a street after him in every city of Europe? Well, haven't you figured it out that his name is not an African name so at least 95% of Russia is thinking this man is another Russian.

Again, what are you trying to convey with this story?

The only thing I get out of this story is, it was another story of how if a black person pleases whitey, he may or may not get a street named after him in all the city's of Europe. Let's say though that what the king did was actually a good gesture, haven't you noticed? The slave had a Russian name, not an Africa name so who really cares that streets were named after him? This is nothing but slavery, that slave was a[b] high class house Negroe[/b] What else did you expect me to get from this story? Are you trying to indirectly say that there are some good Russian people? I know who you know and love that must be Russian, and that is what this story must be the underlining of. If not please explain?

Russians too were brainwashed, just like some Nigerian's are brainwashed, so before people generalize, there is a need to know a little about history [Sista take note]

I'm taking note, and from what I can see you have shown nothing. The Russian King his self saw it as okay to buy a black slave so I don't see how a place where he ruled, if he existed would not have the same ideals as he. Besides, if this is true, that the Russians were brainwashed as much as the Nigerians, I can hardly see how it is the same being that the brainwash of Nigerians is causing them the inability to run Nigeria and it is causing Nigerians to flea Nigeria. Whereas with the Russians, they lost nothing and they are not fleeing their home land in search of something better.

@Somegirl


You forgot to add the rest of my quote which was the this below,

Did Mamaput help you because I now see that after you responded to me, you said something to her in what looks like some type of European language. In fact, I'm going to copy what you said to mamaput and have it intepreted.

The quote I am referrring to is this below,

Mamaput, für mich bist du beides, aber wenn du mir entgegnen würdest, du seist "schwarz" oder "weiß" (eines von beiden aber nicht das andere), dann würde deine Meinung mehr wiegen. Jedenfalls würde ich dir nie sagen "du bist nicht ---". Greetings to Germany, my dear.

Your people feared black people because they did not understand how black people could be so black and yet they white people are so white or pink or what have you. They treated black people bad because of what they did not understand.

You are writing something in German in a situation where people are trying to gain trust. I was attempting to get to see you as an individual rather than seeing you in relation to your white relatives an ancestors. When you brought up the fights between the Yuroba, Hausa and Igbo, my distrust in you had awaken. In the process of us trying to clear that up, you spoke in this foreign language which opened up the mistrust again, as we were trying to clear up mis trust. Your taking a long time to finally tell me why you brought up the fights was only a contribution to the already distrust. Instead of my want to seeing you as an individual I still see you as one of them. If you wanted to talk to Mamaput in German, you could have emailed her instead of talking that in this discussion. People should Know what you two were saying. Everyone knows that this is a Nigerian Forum and the chances of people speaking some type of Nigerian language is high. People already know to prepare their self to find some way to interpret some type of Nigerian language but you pose a threat when you speak German in a place where trust is attempting to be built with the use of the languages English and some type of Nigerian language.

@Seun

I want people to be addicted (*evil grin buhaha*) but not so much that it affects their work or studies.

It's to late for that for that, I have two finals due this coming Thursday, I am just now starting them and look where I'm at? I'm here in Nairaland

It's okay though, I am a last minute person, I deliver my best when under pressure

@Chinani

My point was about the way you read certain situations b/c I think you have some inherent assumptions evidenced by your story.

Not really sure about the evidence you are talking about but maybe if I tell the whole story this will shed some light.

I think I see what you are saying. What I should have included was I really think the AA provoked the situation but it takes two and the Fulani Woman was stooping at a time when she should have remained professional. She was yelling in her shop and she was over her clients head, not to mention, I was sitting in the chair next to her client getting my hair braided by a Somali woman. I didn't bring up that I thought the AA provoked the argument because my main focus was to compare the Fulani woman to Babosisi. I think they react the same way to a situation they feel powerless to. I think this woman and Babosisi resort to talking about how (educated they are amongs other things) in a powerless situation when, who really cares?

I mention the ethnic backgrounds of these women beucause although I think some perceptions of people and how they should act are general, some of them are not and maybe you know something about the Fulani womans culture that you can teach me? Not sure.

The AA woman provoked the argument because she had already gotten her hair braided and she had her hair up for three days before she said she did not like it, to top it off, when she came back to the shop to complain, she had the nerve to ask the owner, the Fulani woman if she had a license to operate her shop because if she did, she would have had her license posted. That was not right to ask any foreign person because it gives them the idea that you think you are better than them and that you think you are superior to them becuase they are in your country. Not to mention the woman who was complaining she worked for the city and the Fulani woman knew that.

My thing is, like I said, it takes two. The Fulani woman had so much anger and obvious hate that she let her self get out of control in her place of business and guess what? I will not be going back to that shop for that reason as well as other reasons concerning how my hair came out. I didn't like my hair either but being that she knows I was there in the shop when all that stuff happened, she may resort to thinking that I, an AA woman is only not liking my hair because I, am AA and I want to cause trouble like the other AA woman did. You see what I am saying? Black people can't even tell each other the truth without the one being told the truth, not taking it personally.

As a braid shop owner, you are going to have some people that try to play you, I know because at one time I did hair for 8 years and I have some story's to tell.

Any how, at all times you must remain professional. Because of how the woman went off, I will not be going back to that shop. I didn't like my hair when the woman finished the first row but before I could tell her I didn't like it, the argument between the Fulani woman and the AA woman had already taken place. In order to not make things worst for the Fulani woman and the Somali woman, I kept my mouth closed and just said to my self, "I will not come back to this shop" plus, I already have a regular braider any way, she just was not available to braid my hair at that time. Any way,  As you know, I have a big mouth. I am not the type to censor my self because of someone else's problems. I said that to say this, If I could have been comfortable with being real to my self and told the woman I did not like my hair, and she tried to fix my hair to satisfy me, I would have stayed a client to that shop. Being that I see how she is angry and suffers with hate of AA women who tell her they do not like their hair, amongs other things, I will not be going back to that shop to support them any more just to censor my self. I will not be keeping my mouth shut for the sake of peace in a place of business where business is first. I am  the one who is paying my money and I will not be punked.

@925

My creating that thread is got nothing to do with my family settings, you are now talking because things are relatively okay in nairaland now, when I started posting in nairaland things were totally different, and when I met my wife, Black women were not into the wanabe stuff, so this is not a mattar of choice like you said, and if you think I 've done something wrong?, you are going to have to think again, how about you talking about this till the end of time. If my family settings means I 've committed a crime to you, I can't help you here, learn to live with it.

Everything you say is about your family setting because when people hear you talk, they are looking for you to be genuine and if you lack it, you will be called on it. None of what you say would hold up in court, all that you have said has been hypocritical. I don't care what you say, it is rather impulsive of you to tell black women that they act white and for that reason they should not be asking their self why black men are going for the real deal, which is the white woman her self.

I can see a black man who is mad at black women for not being her self, and then complaining to him that he is not acting white enough making the complaint that you made. However, I can't see why as a black man with a white wife, why would you tell black women that they try to be white, when your wife is white and that did not bother you when you got with her, or did she act black so that made it okay? That is the equivalent to telling a child to do as I say and not as I do. I don't care what you say, you have a white wife and she will never be black. What you said in that thread, it sounded condescending and it sounds like you are indirectly validating your choices. You talk about black people uniting and accepting the good white people. You say your wife has assimilated into your culture, that means she plays the role of an Igbo woman. She is not really an Igbo woman. You can't have your cake and eat it to. If it is okay for your wife to pretend to be Igbo and Afrocentric, that means it is okay for a black woman to pretend to be white, who knows, maybe the black woman is looking for a white man and that is what she is trying to attract like your wife attracted you by showing you (what you said) that she is more Afrocentric then most African women.

Also, don't try to act like black women imitating black woman is a new trend, black women been doing that for years.

Instead of telling the sisters that it is their fault for trying to act white, that black men go for the real deal white woman, you should have been telling them how beautiful their African physical characteristics are and how they should take off that blond wig and show their beautiful nappy roots, or do you think nappy is beautiful? But, then again, your wife may feel threatened by you telling the sisters how beautiful they are and you don't want to rattle your cozy zone. After all, your a true blue Igbo man
Much more truer than any white man would be to a black woman.