₦airaland Forum

OP That your girlfriend get oya for her head. Na the ultimate prize she dey stake her aim for. Make you prepare well well

OP just check for the choir mistress and start pay her nightly visits make your body cold down small

At least the story gave the world a bit of distraction from the constant negativity in the media.

The said should have given the kids the explanation and save the parents from embarrassment.

sonofthunder:
Lol


In your case they perfectly understood the question......


Just didn't want to get "involved"

@OP I greatly admire your strength of character. For you to bring such intimate topic on nairaland with its assortment of personalities show that you have a heart of gold. TBH it is my first time to learn of this condition. Thanks for bringing your condition to public knowledge. God bless you.

So there is nothing like humour in your part of the world? Abeg no take life serious. Las las nobody go come out alive

Sebastine1994:
I type this with a heavy heart. Very heavy.

Nigerians hate truth

Look at what we have become, look at what a so called role model is saying. It means you are indirectly endorsing Yahoo boys.

I believe there are boys on the street who can play ten times better than this nit wit. but mother luck did not smile on them.

Mind what you are indirectly endorsing with your mouth and fingers ,. it may come back to haunt you

for the idiots below me who call this a joke. Must you joke with everything. Start joking when dangote crush people and see what happens.

That is why I like the Muslim sometimes, you cannot joke with their religion, it's an unwritten rule. you can't joke with Allah the way christains joke with God.

Because million of people are doing something does not make it right.

Think of the millions of youth this man has an influence on. think of how some of our useless slangs become popular. think brethren, think

Nice write up OP. I like your flow of words. I found myself wanting more at the end. Nevertheless, OP you should know that people's priorities in life change over time. We are not static and our desires are not static. It is impossible to know what will happen 5 years after marriage. Your partner can develop a terminal illness, lose jobs, change in many ways than one. Personally I feel it is grace that sees us through marriage. both parties need to continually work to keep the marriage alive. If your marriage is bliss thank God. If your marriage has turned to a nightmare pray to God.

Sanchez01:
It took me a while to decide on the title of this thread but then, it still somehow doesn't capture the idea of my post. Regardless, here goes...

There is no denying that living together as a couple between most men and their wife is like a herculean task these days, no thanks to divorce news, accusations and counter-accusations thrown around on almost every social media platform. As usual, Nairaland is not spared.

I have so many married friends with varying degrees of marital issues and it often flies above my head how their issues degenerated so bad that they have practically become housemates with their other person. They talk when in the home, laugh once in a while but the mental and emotional connection is all but gone. For the sake of this particular thread, I will be citing 4 different cases of my married friends, of both genders then will also look at some wild-spec instances I picked or learnt from my unmarried friends. These are all real-life scenarios.

Case One:

She was 22 and barely out of school before she got married to her husband. They didn't really know each other that much as a matter of fact but they got married anyway. Her reason was that 'he ticked all of her boxes' (which were basically money, a car and at least a 3 bedroom apartment). Hubby, on her part, decided to marry her because she is fair-skinned, gap-toothed and tall. Their marriage is about 6 years now and they have 3 amazing kids.

The problem?

The 'male spec' isn't strong bedmatically, he cheats (has been caught cheating by dear wife in the past), not exactly the type who communicates and has a traditional mindset. Sex, to him, is 'insert and out', share grace and sleep, and' the concept of intimacy/MouthAction is taboo in his village that if he does it, he might need to appease the gods for dishonouring them'. She has over 15 different ePDFs on ancient Kamasutra and once shared them with me. Heavy, graphic and detailed files. But he isn't interested.

The 'female spec' is indeed a beautiful lady, homely but laced with hot blood. She is wild, adventurous and isn't shy to admit or discuss her fantasies and marital sufferings with her friends, including yours truly. She is the total opposite of the 'male spec' and has or might have been cheating already. The last time she ranted about cheating and getting satisfied was about two years ago. Don't want to go beyond this.

Case 2:

Let's call him Dustin. Dustin met 'his spec' when he travelled for a project to a neighbouring state. Dustin's spec who is now his wife has an interesting appeal. She is effortlessly fair-skinned, natural pink lips, a conversationist, and an emotional being. Dustin would not allow anyone rest about his spec and how he would love and adore her the day he finds her. Practically all the ladies in his life at some point were that way but Seike (not real name) was different. Anyways, they got married and a lazy Dustin who doesn't like house chores other than doing laundry discovered that his spec of a wife doesn't actually know how to cook and doesn't like the kitchen at all. It all started as a joke until their families got involved less than 7 months into the union. Man wasn't having it anymore and wasn't willing to tolerate 'his spec's' shortcomings.

On his part, he has always been a nightcrawler and marriage has not exactly nipped that in the bud. Perhaps the idea of going home to met an empty pot when he knows he can't cook is not really appealing. Sure, he loves her but it is one petty issue or another. They are barely two years in and his great escape means is when he is travelling for projects.

Case 3

Call her MJ, the typical life of the party; lovable and quite open. As an undergraduate, MJ was an exco in her fellowship and was somewhat gentle. She was the tongue-speaking, gun-blazing, fire breathing dragon and must be present in almost all spiritual meetings organized by her fellowship, else, she is backsliding and moving away from God. She isn't actually religious but churchy. In a social gathering, she is the first to request for 'taju-taju' even when she knows there was no provision for alcohol (this is only recent). MJ's definition of spec was the now-famed TDH and boy, she got lucky! Or so we thought. 'Her spec' drips finesse. He is indeed tall, dark and charming. He is a quiet (well, so far though) chap who currently works as a manager in a financial institution and drives a pretty decent car. MJ works as an accountant and isn't bad at all.

'Finesse babyboy', unfortunately, is a cheat. Man can practically adore a woman's shadow just to 'get there'. He is barely home and when he is, always watching football. They don't talk deep anymore. At some point, she caught him cheating was ready to walk away from the marriage but she was talked into staying and that was where things went wrong. Strangely, 'baby boy' wasn't exactly skilled and a churchy MJ never really fancied sex. However, the fact that he isn't skilled in the affairs of the other room didn't deter him from cheating severally.

The problem with the marriage is Ps 123:7 and they have been married for nearly 8 years. Her inability to conceive is actually his fault but the patriarchal society we live in pressured her so much that she broke and started an affair with a chap who is a friend of the family. It all started with counselling, praying together and the rest is history. Sadly, the chap she was seeing happened to have mastered some ancient body exploration that they met almost every three days. It got so bad that she started fertility treatment with the dude. The reward for the chap being around her was gifts, money and of course the free access. She finally loved the act and couldn't get enough until a massive scandal rocked recently and she had to painfully let the guy whom she has been seeing for over 18 months go. Not sure the husband got to know the details but she told him while she wanted them to talk but because his sin were heavy and graver, he couldn't bring himself to have a heart-to-heart with her.

They are currently making conscious efforts to fix their home right now and it's been good so far.

Case 4

It just had to be a pastor's daughter for Cole. He has always been obsessed with them for weird reasons that he didn't take any chances the first time he set his eyes of Thelma. Thelma's father is a Zonal Pastor in one of the popular Pentecostal churches around. Cole is our lead guitarist and a charming young man, though struggling. The day Thelma attended a mass choir rehearsal and played the drums like a pro was the day Cole fell in love. It was her or no one else. Long story short, they are married but living apart. Thelma is in her parents' house while Cole had to temporarily relocate to make more money. His mother in law who came for Omugwo overstayed and ended up spending nearly five months. He couldn't send 'pastor's wife' away as he was scared to incur the wrath of the pastor. Strangely, sweet Thelma is still greatly attached to her mum that it made it difficult. He ran into debts trying to impress Thelma and her pastor father by throwing a big wedding he could not afford. They have 3 kids now but things are not as they ought to. What's worse, he has aged rapidly that he now looks like a shadow of himself.

Budding Case

This is rather interesting than all of the aforementioned cases. James is currently confused and unsure whether to lie to the pastor that he had a dream or not. You see, he has a girl he likes a lot but they don't even know each other that deep, strangely. James has talked to his pastor but he regretted he did as he could not respond to his pastor's only question on what his conviction is that the lady is the right person for him. His response is 'I just know she's the one for me' and nothing more. He has been asked to go and pray and has not seen a thing but he has said he might tell the pastor that he had a dream just so he can be with a fair-skinned, well-endowed lady with some puppy eyes.

My Point

There is a reason why the rate of divorce in Nigeria is high and increasing almost daily. Almost every Nigerian celebrity with a failed marriage always come out to pin it on abuse and other vices when these traits must have been seen at the earliest phase of the relationship and possibly avoided but the 'specs' fried their senses. Everyone, regardless of gender, loves a beautiful/charming person. However, this should serve as the basis for attraction and not marriage proper.

Specs will definitely not keep a relationship, let alone sustain one. As a matter of fact, one stops seeing that spec the moment you get to see the person often.

You can see a pre-wedding photo today and take a wild guess what the attraction was and you'll be right. Strangely, all of the cases I cited had one popular saying; 'he/she has changed is not the person I fell in love with'. Well, true that. you went for the spec and ignored those things that mattered the most. Imagine someone whose specs in ladies is a spotless face. . And then there is the beard gang category which almost every lady falls under.

Are specs actually bad? The obvious answer is 'NO'. However, they shouldn't be the basis for getting married. What happens, when a spotless face becomes riddled with acne? What happens when one of those straight, fine legs get amputated after getting married for just that one reason? What happens when pressures zap your libido and the primary reason you married is for sex?

I am not saying people should end up with the exact opposite of what they have in mind. Rather, they should pay attention to deep traits that will come in handy and possibly sustain the marriage when the time comes.

You read or hear about a particular marital problem and you can't help but wonder what the couple talked about or discussed during dating/courtship. Marriage remains beautiful but most people marry for all the wrong reasons in the world. Specs won't keep a home and it won't make one happy forever. I think it is high time young people really sat down and learn to prioritize what is of benefit to them and their home; specs or peace of mind?

Las las Naija go better

chatinent:
Even “are you a Nigerian” from a foreigner sounds like “e no go better for you.”

For now simply appreciate his efforts. You will have enough time to be critical in the future

emmanuel596:
Something that will be a shadow of itself in few years time due to lack of maintenance

Can Liverpool destroy the juju that City buried at Anfield?

I don laugh tire plus the fact say the dog na ordinary ekuke

McJane:
I swear, Nairalander are all mad

Mr OP somewhere in the bible it is mentioned "avoid every appearance of evil". Nairaland has many pastors to give you the verse and interpretation.

Mr. OP assume you are married, your wife opens a business with or without your help, she employs her 'ex' to manage the business without notifying you, somehow you eventually find out that the so called employee is her 'ex', be honest with yourself what will be your reaction?

Mr OP the thing wey di hungry you no dey for market.

Forbes Africa named the Nigerian-born businessman as one of its “30 under 30” class of 2016. Bruce Whifield interviews Okeke...
It’s all hard work!

Obinwanne Okeke
The Money Show’s Bruce Whitfield interviewed Nigerian-born businessman Obinwanne Okeke.

Okeke is the Chairman and CEO of Invictus Group of Companies.

He is featured on the cover of the latest Forbes Africa magazine as one of its “30 under 30” class of 2016.

Scroll down for quotes from the audio below.

ADVERTISING

Dream, believe in yourself and work on it.

Obinwanne Okeke
I started small without seed capital.

Obinwanne Okeke
I had my first company since I was 14. It was no overnight success.

Obinwanne Okeke
I read a lot. I believe it’s one reason why I’ve achieved success.

Obinwanne Okeke

Advocatejustice:
Please does anyone here have his motivational quotes and pictures in Harvard giving them Lori iro during his lectures in his free days?

I want to check something.

That is it. Africans depended on oral tradition. Our knowledge was passed by word of mouth from one generation to the next. Is there any Sub Saharan African country that can give you any record of events plus 200 years ago?

shantti:
How will they document it? Africa didnt even knew what it meant to write

Bvcious10:
These Liverpool guys aren't wicked but brutal

Let Liverpool use Palace to avenge the humiliation that Villa gave us. We need 7 plus clean sheet.

Up guys we can do it

YNWA

dre11:
Let the mod update the score




We are an cruise control

The mod went out to buy data

Angelfrost:
Precisely sir... Which is a shame!!!

The score line is not a true reflection of what's happening on the pitch. I feel for Palace sha. Their defense has been on vacation all match long.

Too bad. This game ended before it actually started.

Goals win matches boss.
Yes Palace are doing a wonderful job. But if they are not able to convert their chances into goals then it is a waste.

Angelfrost:
Goal from Mane!!! Game over!!!

Such a shame! Palace has been the better team, just not very clinical with their chances.

I see why the thread is so dry and lifeless!!! Haters won't grace this occasion.

The thread is so dry. I forsee 4 to 5 pages atmost.
Up Liverpool whatever

Goal Mane

We start winning on the road again

2 nil and the thread still dey first page?

He needs to do that to keep the players fresh and confuse our opponents.

ThreeBlackBird:
Klopp been permuting our formation anyhow o

My Red Army all the way

Salah is back!!

YNWA

Your initial comment gave you as arrogant. With this one you have redeemed yourself (my opinion). The society has made us to believe that education is for us to get a job and a good one. From a young age we are told to study hard so as to get a good job. Nobody tells us to study hard so that we can create a job. Gradually we are beginning to understand that we need to be creators of employment and not wait for a good job opportunity to come our way.

thesicilian:
My brother I greet you. There is this growing mentality among our youths of today, especially in Nigeria, that school is not important. One even had the shamelessness to burn his certificates and post it online and some were praising him. Meanwhile when he gets sick he runs to the doctor or pharmacist who went to school. He uses phones designed by engineers and tech specialists who excelled in school, etc. In my opinion (and lot of people seem not to comprehend the meaning of this term, by the way), school hardly fails people, it is the people who fail themselves. The syllabus or system of teaching may not be as good as it should be, but the onus is usually on the student to study and research for himself. The university is supposed to be a place of research, not waiting for the lecturer to come and dictate notes for the students to memorize and "pass" exams.

A great man of our time.

Messi is going nowhere. Who get money to buyam?

@Righteousness89 the most quoted guy on nairaland. Most of us now look up to see your response in many threads. May the God you serve be with you always.

@Slawormir, I don't know how to put it but you have a way of touching some raw nerves. Somehow we always want to get your opinions even if we hate them.

Thanks OP for the funny post.

I was once a barber. Hussle no easy. In my early days I had one client with afro. He wanted 3 steps. I kept trying and failing and in the process reducing the hair. At the end the client left with number 1 all the Afro was gone. Luckily he did not shout at me. Barbing no easy i swear.

OP u r blessed

Can we safely call them Pakistan returnees?

There is no limit to what a determined soul can achieve