₦airaland Forum

Tunagee:
My wife started behaving strangely immediately I lost my job in April 2017. She leaves home to her mum at the slightest disagreement without even communicating or making to express her feelings; and to worsen it, her mum gives her a great welcome with a room and parlour for her to stay, without even calling me to discuss what the problem. Whatever her daughter says is always the final, and she concludes on that.

My wife literarily destroyed my image before my in-laws to such an extent that I can't even visit them again. She tells them i insult her and her parents, and i make negative remarks about them, that i abuse her verbally at the slightest provocation. Several lies against me that I did not allow her travel out, I don't give her money, I told her not to have another kid, that I told her not to work, her mother has decided to keep her with her as I speak without even calling me to discuss, even despite all my appeals. She has been with her mum now for almost ten months(my wife is a fully grown legally married faithful woman of almost 40 years)

All these disrespect, probably cos I lost my job two years ago of which I fulfilled all responsibilities to the home. i don't drink, i don't smoke, don't womanise(even till now) I have never beaten her, I never another child out of my matrimonial home, and never impregnated another woman.

Rather than resolve her marital problem by discussing with her husband, she takes it to her family claiming emotional abuse. Fine, I agree I get provoked cos of her persistent shortcomings, and of course, frustration which leads to unguided vocal utterances towards her, but this could have been resolved easily without having to involve her whole family. Now what she keeps telling my family is that her family said she should still hold on at her mum's place. This is the 10th month since October 2018.

The last time my mum went to her mum's house precisely June last month, she was asked if she was still interested in her marriage, and she said yes, that she does not intend leaving her marriage; but we should give her time. Her mother practically told me to go and do something meaningful, and that there is time to marry, separate, reunite and hustle. Her mum is the one controlling her movements and everything about her for now; not even giving her room to give me audience.

Pls advise on what to do.

We are legally married.

Tunagee, you are just a victim of blue pill trap set for you because of your background from a broken home. You were being the nice gentleman and husband material of 1 million yards fighting for your marriage.

Sadly, women, even the best of them don't play by these rules. I've seen a lot of it in life. As a matter of fact, it's the reason she disrespected and left your sorry ass immediately shît hit the fan because everything you talked about smirks of weak masculinity and being sissy.

You were never really in charge. She and her mother control the marriage, you were just a mere provider.

I'll let you know a thing, you mentioned all these moralistic nonsense of "I don't smoke" , "I don't drink" thinking it would make you seem nicer to her and the society (I'm not advising you to change and do all these, but you can do it once in a while to step up your appearance of control and being in charge). I can assure you that your lady might be presently attracted to a guy with standards far below yours, but who puts himself at peak value of positive masculinity and make the lady strive for it.

That's what women respect in men. Even the worst of hardcore feminist would respect you if you hold your own as a male who owns is shît and not being manipulated or cowed around. Women are not fools. Their social and emotional intelligence is way above average and it's the reason why they control relationships today, and complain about how weak men of today are, spiking up feminism in high numbers. You are one of the reasons, it's happening now.

Back to your marital life, accept it that sometimes, shît can go wrong in a man's life. No one can have it perfect but how you handle these negative circumstances put you as the head of your home and not a whining sissy begging a bîtch.

I'll advise you that you pick yourself up, instead of sucking up and get something to do. No matter the pay, just get busy. I'm glad you have your own house. I'll not ask you to seek for divorce immediately. It still makes you look like a whimp and gives her the control of what she wanted. Open a bank account for your kid's upkeep send him whatever you can muster at any point and keep a record of it (You won't be able to fight for your child's custody in court at his age, unless you can prove that her mother is unfit to train your son). Keeping a record of it would make you be able to have some rep from your son, would make him to share in your experiences and understand how to man up. Remember, he is in the hands of manipulative women who may turn him against you, risking him, turning sissy and suffering the same fate as you, when he becomes a married adult too.

Focus on your hustle and open yourself to meeting more women. It would help you understand the world of women in dating and marriage. I don't advise marriage at this time. You may end up with another bitchy lady. Dress well, look good and try not to call or beg for your wife and her mother's attention. It puts you in control. When she sees you owning your control back, she may consider coming back. At this time, don't fall back into your past behaviour of acting nice and sissy. Make rules and be sure that she follows it.

If she refuses to come back after a while and you have learnt a lot from other women (and bedding them, of course). Divorce her trashy ass, get you a new woman but maintain relationship with your son.

All of you screaming that Reno replied him well are all morôns. No wonder Buhari is your president.

I don't see were he made any sense except subtly mocking its Abrahamaic rival.

Both Christianity and Islam are all packaged myths of middle-eastern goat herders.

AnyoneButAtiku:
They are legion on Nairaland, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and any other portion of the blogosphere that takes their fancy
I hear you Prof!

Nairaland and Twitter are their headquarters.

Too many idiiots holed up in these platforms.

The worse thing is not that they are stupid illiterates, but they have every possible logic-defying ad hominem excuses to defend their stupidity. Some are already doing it now.

princeade86:
I trust saraki, he will never confirm this thing as cjn.

Lies.

If Saraki and Buhari where in good terms, he would confirm him quicker than expected.

All these politicians are the same in all of their dealing. It's their partisanship for selfish gains that makes you think that one is better. Use your head and don't be fooled by their gimmicks

SOFTDRINK:
Na the baztard from benue.

SOFTDRINK:
Like this loser abi

Na the dead vultures BBQ seller be DAT?

And it will end as "We investigated ourselves and found out we are not wrong"

Bunch of insecure cowards who hide in a uniform and group to bully others.

Meet these same guys on the road alone, you go beat them silly.

Marjie, you are welcome to Nairaland.

I'm glad you are wishing to come back to the motherland to work and probably settle down.

I hope someone reliable reads this and fix you up on something good.

However, I do think, you might have to check with the US embassies in African countries (especially in Western and Eastern Africa) for job openings, multinational corporations or any of the United Nations agencies in these countries.

They have good employment packages for those coming to work in our part of the world.

Good luck on your search!

AkataWoman:
As I read through this thread, a revelation that I had recently struck me again: Nigerian men and women are one and the same. The whole world knows about the scamming Nigerian man who marries for a green card then acts an ass and leaves or brings his real wife over from Nigeria. We also know that the real wife and the man’s entire family will be in on the scam. We’ve even heard of the man moving the Nigerian wife in with the foreign wife, pretending she is his sister or cousin. The lack of humanity and regard for others is astounding to us foreigners. But we have known African men to be this way for a long time.

Lately I’ve learned Nigerian women are just as deceitful. They’ll chase anything white or foreign they see in Nigeria because he represents a green card. They’ll also sleep with anybody and particularly love married men because they’re established and can give money.

So it seems this greedy, user mentality is a Nigerian/3rd world desperation thing. It’s not just men who lack integrity but a societal thing. I’m sure it’s not EVERYONE but it’s enough that you should be able to realize you really can’t insult one another about this issue because both of you-the men and women-are equally horrible and perfectly matched.

Akata woman, I do get your point though; but it's highly stereotypical and generalized. It doesn't represent all of us.

A good number of us are very different.

MoneyMan5:
There are no society without thugs

Stop making it look like it is only present in South West

Even in USA there are thugs

But the Government should do more to curb them

Why are you nairalanders very fond of making straw arguments and other ad hominem nonsense when someone drops the unabashed truth?

The person you quoted just drop the hard truth that Lagos and the southwest in particular glorifies the agbero culture and it's affecting some of our kids (who look up to them as role models, as these thugs are rich and hobnob with the high and mighty) and creates barriers for decent society and business. The other terrible culture gaining some popularity, especially in the Southwest are Internet fraudsters (I'm glad the EFCC has been doing a lot to reduce this). It's not much of my business what happens in the south east, other countries or the next house. I worry about what happens in my own house (or region, which is the Southwest)

Must you always quote the US or other countries to justify our weakness. I don't see other countries or regions cite Nigeria in dealing with their own problems. They go ahead and fix it.

The more, you and almost all the other nigerians with these trashy style of thinking, continue to use terms like "It also happens in the next compound", It's doesn't only happen in my village, it happens in my neighbours village" etc when someone confronts you with the truth about your place, region or country, you give excuses for failure of those who should take charge and encourage mediocrity.

No offence though, before you get mad at me with another set of straw man argument, ask yourself why almost every thing never seem to work here despite the high morality showoff and religiosity.

When you set Edo witches and wizard loose.

Awol1:
How can Labour be expecting Buhari to spend the money that will be used for RUGA and registration of illegal Fulani migrants on increasing salary?

I suggest Labour start to kill cows if they want Buhari to take them serious.

Any other strike no go work.

A lot of people might see your comment as a joke but it's the pure, undiluted truth.

No amount of strike would move a rigid Fulani irredentist except you attack his cows or the cows of the people.

The other day, one of the brainwashed youglings on this platform talked about Nigeria not having enough money to pay workers and I corrected his ignorance, telling him that Buhari is providing about 16 Billion for the RUGA project and you know that not less than half of the funds are available, with the zeal and passion, the presidency put at it.

Forget it, if government want to work, they will. If they are passionate about paying workers 100k as minimum wage, a month is enough to process it, but when you hear words like ORDERED , DIRECTED in Buhari's administration, know that it would NEVER be implemented.

His reluctance and foot dragging before signing the bill into law says a lot about it. Nigerian workers should forget about the increase in minimum wage for the next four years. Once Buhari pays the least 30k, it's over.

Nigerians deserve the devils that rule over them. Sadly, another one would take over after Buhari and create its own mode of suffering for the people who are too foolish and docile to challenge it.

Some idiiots would quote me with their ad hominem and straw man bullshît to defend the nonsensical policies of this government and those before it. Nairaland has tons of them

niaralandtopuser:
blast him all you want but i am only waiting for this country to collapse. I know it will surely happen and everyone will go their separate ways. it will happen soon

I want the Fulani herdsmen attacks to increase so that our break up can be faster.

This geographical contraption called Nigeria is a lie from its foundation

You don't wanna be on the bad books of Albanian crime cartels who operate in eastern europe, UK, US and Italy.

At the brutal peak of the Italian mafia in the US, they avoided confrontations with the Albanians mafia because of their bloody reputation.

victorian:
If a woman uses her toto to take care of herself thats her problem not mine but i wont stay quiet to such a useless fellow who is linking me to such.

If i want to use toto to take care of my life ,i will own it and be proud of it

But when i use my brains, hand and feet to pay my bills ,then sorry i wont take such statement lightly @ all, nor disregard it .

Not all women use toto to take care of their bills.

Word#

I know and I don't care if you do, otherwise.

Just stop giving Môrons attention

victorian:
I know you are pained , and u are a married man who has failed in his responsibilities to take care and provide of his home . And trust me , its not my fault o. So need lashing your frustrations on me. I no send you work.

Anyways not every woman uses toto to take care of herself.

If thats all your fish brain can come up with ? Then i pity your daughters.

Dont provide for your children. Be there and be spewing trash.

Nonsense.

Must you answer every idiiot who trolls you?

Every time you answer any of these trolls, you give them what they want, which is ATTENTION

Is it a crime if a woman uses her Toto to take care of herself irrespective of what the society thinks?

People make sensible comments here but hardly get quoted or liked, but make a stupid comment and you get attention

No Real Madrid, no Manchester United.

How come?

realwiz1:
I hope they will do the testing in sambisa forest.

Something that will be "tested" on innocent southern "protesters" and taken to sambisa forest to be "dashed" to BH.

If you know, you know!

OP, you didn't end up with that hoe.

Nigerian ladies are simply burdens with no future reward except growing fat and producing kids.

Martinez39:
Too bad. This is why I always advise boys to hustle and make it before they get married. A lot of issues would have been avoided if you kept your pen1s one place and hustled. What is 15k? The boy is out of your reach. The rich man will do all he can to claim the boy's mind so his investment will not be in vain. Forget about the boy and set your priorities straight and go hustle. If you remain poor and that man remains rich, even your son will reject you for the rich father. Can you reject Bill Gates as your adoptive father for you biological father who is a road side mechanic that can't feed himself? The only exception is if your son makes it big and can afford to accommodate you but what are the chances that he will make it big?

Beside, any man that gives birth to a child they can't comfortably take care of is a wicked and irresponsible man and not fit to be called a good father. Oga, go hustle. When you make it, you son will come back.

Boys, place hustle. When you make it, you will avoid a lot of issues. Personally, I would advise men focus on themselves; forget relationships and marriage; use surrogate mums/housemaids for childbirth/upkeep; and use prostitutes/slay queens for sex. No time to waste on a gender that loves you for your money and won't hesitate to leave you for the higher bidder. Develop and enjoy yourself biko.

You get sense, man!

Parental instincts in animals is getting stronger than you have in some homo sapiens.

I love the balance that Russia and China brings to the power triangle preventing the overbearing and abusive influence of the Anglo-American alliance.

Every country has its sovereignty, one that America loves to abuse under the guise of "human rights" and other politically-correct nonsense.

I'm glad some of these countries are standing up to them.

Turkey come ya shop.
Sell, u nor gree sell to dem.
Dem go another shop, go buy wetin dem need.
U com dey threaten them with sanctions shuuu.

Dis US na confirm village witches, I swear.

Ejtjfekve:
Not in Nigeria

Sad but true.

Nigeria is going no where with the bunch of Paleolithic regressive elements we parade as leaders.

oz4real83:
The first and fastest road to having a functioning automobile industry is to have a functioning and efficient steel industry. Without this,we will keep on assembling car parts from other countries.

Would the authorities have enough sense to follow up on the wisdom you just shared above?

I think NOT!

AntiBrutus:
Been to Atican, Elegushi and Oniru...

The road to atican is really bad, to sandy and gallopy.

I found Elugushi crowded, with lots of juveniles.

Oniru was just there.

I think Takwa Bay is cool, but I didn't like the idea of moving across water to get there. So, I boycotted this trip.

I sense paranoia.

Griselda would do same.

AntiBrutus:
Na today?

My alpha widow!

Griselda Blanco reincarnate

AntiBrutus:
Ben Dazi: "I have always said that the biggest scam of our lifetime is the assertion that women are the weaker sex. That is a lie from the pit of hell. It is only a well-crafted ploy by the women to subdue men and take over their authority! Guess what, they are succeeding!"

Women never crafted this, men did. You sons of Adam need to stop shifting blame when you want. Please deal with it. Pele

Fucking sadist.

I know it as a fact that men suffering pains inflicted by women gives you an orgasmic thrill!

internationalman:
Almost every Nigerian has encountered such people in the past..

So why bringing it online....for people to praise you or what..

As for the OP that posted this and the mode that brought it to front page I'm waiting for you both to come down

You are just a dimwit.

The guy noted at the end of his post that he is not trying to show off but pass his message.

Since you have a damaged conscience, I believe the only type of story that thrills you is how Davido brags about buying a private jet, when it offers no benefit to you and other private Nigerians.

ornicus:
if this story is true - it is long overdue Darwinism. weeding out the stupid.

Aswear!

Even education couldn't save this one from gross stupidity.

Darwinism always come to the rescue.

Don't let your preek and stupid emotions make you lose your job.

Hustle over pusssy all day.

Like someone said here, don't shit where you eat!

I've always liked her.

Her dark lips and MILF looks are a turn-on.