₦airaland Forum

All I can think of right now is how the call to 911 would sound like....
911 operator- "911 operator, what's your emergency?"
Caller- "it's stuck!"
911 operator- "ma'am what's stuck?", do you need police, firetruck or Ambulance?
Caller- "I think it's an Ambulance I need"
911 operator- "okay maam, you need to explain what's going on"
Caller- "my intimacy gadget is stuck!"
911 operator- "OH SH*T!"
Caller- "hurry up, please"!

Pasima:
Mind your words mr man i am 25 if u dont know what to say you keep quiet and stop displaying your stupidity

I am not sure you understand what the word "stupidity" means hence you would not have used it in this context. Please get your learned neighbor to read all you have written on here to you (right from the silly write up to comments you have made) and then ask your neighbor if you don't sound like a 16 year old. Imagine, you are even 25...that makes it worse! Babies everywhere!!! Crying over a watsapp dp. Mschew!

hodari:
The best military for what? Look at how Americans are living in 2022


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRWmKh13b50

Name a country in the world that doesn't have this and I will get you the pictures you need

Pasima:
She is cheating on me even her Tommy is coming out but it is not pregnant sha but a lot has changed in her body, her booty becomes bigger.

you sound like a 16 year old boy....how many relationships have you been into? Like seriously Her body changing is a sign of cheating? . What will Musa not see in Nairaland oooo

CoronaVirusPro:
Are you kidding me?

A line by Tupac Shakur?

Tell me something else please

As much as I loved Tupac too...it was still a dumb thing for him to say. Yes, US spends a lot of money to acquire sophisticated weapons and train their soldiers but it's the reason they have one of the best, if not the best army in the world. The dumb statement was saying they don't feed the poor!

CoronaVirusPro:
That's a USA military hardware FGM-148

That's the beauty of America!


.......That's just the way it is.....

They cannot feed the poor but have money for wars

you should have just stopped at the 3 lines of statement. The 4th line is dumb to type in a public space

HitSong:
It's your misery, frustration and cross to carry.
If you're not lonely and miserable, you won't fall easily in the hands of young whorès and slùts that has nothing to offer but the holes between their legs, while they collect your money and also give you all kinds of STDs...
You fell even as a married man and believe, no sane married man will allow his family live abroad while he stays somewhere else lonely and miserable all because his wife his frustrated with their home country... Are you a man at all?
Again, no sane woman will live her young husband here to live alone and fend for himself... expect if she has "OTHER" plans...
There's no other joy like family living and growing together.
You certainly still belong to the low class of the society and you also have poor mindset...
Why are your family members abroad? Better life abroad? Better schools?
The minister of Labour, Speaker of the house of rep and many other elites in Nigeria have their children in Unilag and other schools in Nigeria so what are you feeling like?

YOU ARE THE BIGGEST LOSER HERE.

is it on the same issue or there is more to this....do you know the op or what is really the color of your problem?

Aonkuuse:
Reno will not mind his business, wetin concern you with someone's prayer? Pray your prayer and let everyone pray their own prayer.

He will be talking so that people will notice him... He left the war between IPOB and FG which he is also involved.

He left Bandits vs Nigerians to talk about Ethiopia. Mumu man

but you guys are saying the same thing....he said people leave the war in their neighboring African country to pray for Ukraine, you are saying he left war between IPOB and FG, bandits VS Nigeria to talk about Ethiopia, but I don't understand why you had to say he is talking to be noticed when you both are literally saying the same thing

helinues:
Reno should try and be making use of his brain sometimes..

And yet this guy called himself a pastor when he should be praying for peace

How many Nigerians heard about Tigray war even up till today?

Shame on you Reno

you don't understand his message

t2luv1:
Close to home have you taken a look at the rate of returns on mere deposits in Nigeria back? Trust me its over 15%. Here in the USA one will be lucky to get a rate of return on any bank deposits over 2% not when 30 years mortgage rate is at 4.65% and 10 year Treasury note rate is at 2.9%.

you are right, the rate of returns in Nigeria is huge

t2luv1:
This is a subjective call. Over here in the US whenever I am talking to a Financial person, they always seem to work with a rate of returns of around 8% on investment, whereas in Nigeria, people tend to work with a rate of return on investment of around 40% to 50%. I always wonder why it is so. Very tempting I will say.

Please can you tell me that investment with a rate of 40-50%...I wan invest abeg

osazsky:
if he is doing well here why travel...is he going there to work under someone or wat..people who made it here travel abroad for vacation then terurn home the following week..they dont go there to look for peanut..u have not seen money..if u see money travelling out will be the last thing on your mind.in d aspect of security nothing is sure..the prob of gun control in America supaceeds the havock boko..kidnsppers rapist rituslist have caused in nija ..everybody get gun in America..every day average of 300 prople die from gun shot but the media puts it away and concentrates on terrorism and international politics

People that say this have definitely not tasted both worlds to evaluate it. Taste both worlds first, then come back and say this

henryelfhel:
All this japa shouting indomie generation you think abroad is easy as you think. Many of you shouting Japa have not even try anything in Nigeria. Many of our people are living in very terrible condition even in the Us and Canada don't be deceived if you can't make it here you have 90% of not making there.

when you are done fooling yourself with that mindset, you will come back here and say the truth. The only truth to what you wrote is that going to another country is not an automatic success but your chances of making it just jumped to 90% depending on the country you go to and the papers you have. Don't go to Malaysia, India, Indonesia etc and call it abroad

Tickles001:
Oga, learn to be civil. Go to my first comment and read what I wrote there. I said it "looks" like a krait. How is it silly to say what something looks like? No matter how you want to bend it. That snake sure looks like a krait, whether it is a krait or not. And yes, it doesn't match any other snake that I know. Which means I don't know what to call it, and I've already said what it appears like.

Learn to read well first before looking for who to correct. I won't reply again on this, it's not my problem you can't read and understand.

try to understand a word before using it, if there is anybody trying to be uncivil here, it is you. You are right, it looks like a krait!!! Happy? I guess the question I should have asked is if you know what a krait looks like

immortalcrown:
Which angel will check transmissions from the cameras? Which sustainable internet will transmit coverage from the camera? Who will even monitor the officers to ensure they wear the camera? Una just wan open another embezzlement format. Lekki Tollgate cameras were removed, body cameras are small enough to be easily removed.

God bless you!

mod9:
Constrictors don't bite

Constrictors bite, they are just not venomous

Tickles001:
You could just name the snake if you know it. Instead of twisting my words.
I said it doesn't match any other snake that I know. Which means I can't identify it.
Try to pick context clue some times.

slow down, it is not a fight....the snake is not a krait and because you could not identify any other snake that it looks like is not a reason to call it a krait. You could have simply checked Google before calling it a krait but ofcourse you still want to justify your silly mistake by attacking me instead of learning from your mistake. Can I call it anaconda because it looks like anaconda knowing fully well there are no anacondas in Africa?

Grandmeister:
Too slender for a viper.

you are right, it's too slender and long for a viper

Tickles001:
I doesn't match with any other snake that I know

because it doesn't match any snakes you know doesn't mean we should import a specie of snake that is not in Africa

Asiwaju9ja:
it's a baby python. Wait o. Where your room dey so? Na new development?

judging by the length, you could be right (I thought it was a viper though....judging by the skin pattern)

Tickles001:
Looks like common krait. Very venomous.

there are no kraits in Africa

gonkin:
I'm no snake expert but that's definitely a venomous one

yes, could be

minasu190:
That is black mamba,but how come snake enter ur room?

black what? That's not even close to a black mamba (you could have said you don't know or just Google nah)

Grandmeister:
Looks like a krait. The worst type of snake specie to get a bite from. But I haven’t seen one in this part of the world. So I may be wrong.

I don't think there are kraits in Africa, I think it's a viper

That looks like a viper but judging by the length (I may be wrong)

chatinent:
Judging how the room is, I feel the snake saw you in its room and you killed it.

Franzinni:
he doesn't believe in spiritual things nah why he dey find answers from me ....so I brought it here

because reading it alone is giving me goosebumps, let alone live there.....I would have packed my load the next day. I hate stories that touch abeg!

Franzinni:
Good morning people,hope you had a nice val...
(my friend) has been having a strange occurence intermittently for about two years now, when he wakes up in the morning he finds there is blood stains on the floor at equal distance from each other ....about a foot apart in a straight line and sometimes it will be bent ... but always starts at a point and ends somewhere further down with a good number of grops .. I have seen it happen several times and they always wake up to discover it.


Does anyone have a clue what might be the meaning behind this ?

See pictures of the present(last night) occurrence below.

you mean your friend has been noticing this strange occurrence and he/she still chose to live there for 2 years? Ask your friend a good question!!!

When your time is up, it is up!!!!
This is why they say "never forget those you met while going up because they are the same you will see when going down"!!!

alizma:
Staged for what purpose and to what end?
It doesn't look staged to me.

it is staged, check the part she mistakenly scrolled up...you will see the part she said my king and prayed for the boyfriend!

Nigerians are one of the smartest immigrants in the world but the most gullible to their local politicians! Our mumu never do?

Baawaa:
Who stopped him from trekking to the red sea like pharaoh