₦airaland Forum

CHAPTER EIGHT

Two days to Christmas. I am feeling very happy the Christmas festival has gotten into me I sent the various gifts by special delivery to be delivered on Christmas morning. I had woken up feeling very excited. My house was screaming white and red and I’ve taken to wearing bright colors, too. I ate, took my bath then wore a red top with white skirt. I used a white belt with red stripes then a Christmas cap with transparent slippers. I was ready to take on the day. I had invited my boss and family to dinner to day.
I was going to the market to get the things needed for the dinner and for Christmas food. Did I ever mention that I love cooking I don’t think so but I love it all the same. It is my best hobby so far and my talent. I can cook anything. I even have my own recipes of food but today I am making curry soup, coconut rice and moussaka.
I got back from the market around 3.00 p.m., which was rather late, but I managed to get everything done by 7.30. I was expecting my visitors by 8:00. I hurried to take my bath then dressed. I wore a red boubou with a white scarf. I checked myself in the mirror and thought I was the only Mother Christmas alive but I still looked good. It was five minutes to eight when I was finally ready. I sat on the chaise lounge flipping the pages of my latest novel while I awaited the arrival of my guests. I was happy but tired after the whole dinner. Their family was one of a kind. They were all charming. I’ve never seen my boss as relaxed as that ever since I started working for the company. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. I thought to myself I should start preparing for the cake and cookies I am going to make. After I had done enough for the night I decided to retire.

******************************************************
“Baby.”
“Yeah.”
“Talk to me, love.”
“you left when I needed you most.”
“I am sorry, I was a coward.”
“What are you saying?”
“I left because I couldn’t bear losing you.”
“But…”
“No buts, I loved you since the first day I saw you in that funny-looking gown screaming at your brother to bring your boots.”
“Ah.”
“Listen that was the first time I ever saw you and I was a goner. I told your brother I liked her flaming sister and he said you are as stubborn as a mule. I couldn’t gather the courage to talk to you. Whenever I got near and you looked at me I became numb.”
“Oh, I love you.”
“I love you more than life.”
As he brought my mouth close to his he disappeared. I woke up with a start. I had been dreaming. I looked at the time. It was five in the morning so I got up, took my bath and tried to look presentable. I went to the kitchen, got my baking sheets out and started the baking. I had a long day ahead and didn’t have to think about anything or anybody but the cake and the chicken I was going to give, I said to myself, and busied myself. I was so involved that time flew. I finished by 4 p.m. then set out to the children’s home. It was so lovely being with those children. We sang together, made Christmas gifts and danced. I spent the day with them. I left them, branched at a supermarket and bought enough chocolate and ice cream to feed an army and then drove home. I was determined to enjoy myself so when I got home I drew my curtains and lit candles around the house right up to my bedroom. I had already made salad in the morning so I brought it out of the deep freeze. Then I lit my Christmas tree and put on soft Christmas songs. I tuned the volume in such a way that it was low but it vibrated through the whole house then I indulged myself in a lascivious bath. I soaked myself up. I was so relaxed that I nodded off when I regained consciousness. I dried myself and blow dried my hair then wore the bath robe I had bought myself as a Christmas present.
I ate to my fullest but I don’t think I ever get filled without any snack after. I relaxed in the lounge and brought out the latest romance novel in town, a cup of chocolate drink and a basket full of chocolate buns. Now I am ready for the festivities, I told myself. I was almost at the middle page of the book when I decided I was going to be a romance writer when I retired. I continued reading, taking sips of that sweet chocolate when I heard a persistent knock on my door. I didn’t want to answer it but reluctantly I did. I opened the door and didn't see anybody but a small hamper with a Merry Christmas note. I took it inside, happy that somebody remembered me, but it was still Christmas Eve, I thought, so I decided to leave it till the next morning. I kept it under my tree then went back to my book. As I was about pick up my book, I heard another knock. I jumped up and skipped to the door because I wanted to get a picture of who was dropping the gifts. Don’t ask why I thought it was a gift; I just thought so. I opened the door and I saw my best Christmas gift ever delivered to me hale and hearty.

egde of eternity by Randy Alcorn; a very good insight to the world beyond

CHAPTER 7

It’s now a week and two days to Christmas. We are closing for the year tomorrow and everywhere is bubbling. I’ll be traveling to my parents in five days’ time.
I’ve been surviving, living each day as it comes. The prospect of spending Christmas without Michael is scary. Tolu wedded two weeks ago. Cynthia and I got back together during the wedding. She has found another person she is in love with. Zainab has been very comforting. She, Dan and the kids are spending their holiday in Kano. They asked me to come along but I decided Tolu is on her honeymoon, Cynthia is with her new catch and I am all alone. My boss invited me to dinner with his family but I decided not to go. My ankle has healed completely. One wouldn’t even know that I had been in a cast not long ago. I saw Isaiah George while jogging sometime ago but I managed to dodge him. I haven’t even gone for Christmas shopping. I don’t even know what I’ve been using my free time for. All I know is that I am so maltreated these days; everything in my house reminds me of Michael. To make matters worse, I have some of his things with me. I do nothing but think about him. When I see the couch I think about the first time we made love, how sweet it was. How I want him, how I miss him so much. I get caught up in nostalgia all the time. I don’t think I ever want to stay alone again.
“Hello.”
“Yes.”
“Zaniab, how are you?”
“Sylvia, what has been happening to you, it’s been a while?”
“I’ve been busy and I haven’t shopped for Christmas. Are you doing anything tomorrow?”
“You want me to follow you?”
“Yes.”
“I wouldn’t miss it for anything. What time?”
“Say ten o’clock so that we can finish early.”
“Ok then.”
“How about Dan and the kids?”
“The kids are scattering the house as usual and Dan is fine.”
“Say hello to them for me.”
“I will but what about you?”
“What about me?”
“Are you okay?”
“I am.”
“Sure?”
“I think so.”
“Is he around?”
“No.”
“Does he know how you feel about him?”
“He should know; he is not blind.”
“Have you ever told him how you felt?”
“Well, no, but he should be able to see by the way some things are hard to say.”
“That is where you are making the mistake. No risk no gain.”
“But what if I get rejected?”
“That is what I just said. What if you don’t? How will you know which is which?”
“But…”
“No buts, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Ok bye.”
“Yes bye, and think about what I said.”
“Thanks, I will.”
At least I have done one single thing now. I still have to call my brother and my parents but I just don’t have the guts. Now Michael is all I ever think about. I remember the little disagreement we had. Now he’s always cool when I am boiling. His gentleness: how would I ever live without him again? Time heals, I guess.
“Hello bro.”
“Hey you, where have you been?”
“Relax Alex; did you call me throughout out last week?”
“No, why?”
“My phone did not ring throughout out so I guess it was you.”
“Just imagine, typical of you to say such.”
“How are my niece and nephews?”
“You should come see hem yourself.”
“Bimbola n’ko?”
“Owa daada, see I’ve perfected my Yoruba.”
“You still are coming at my back.”
“Sis, are you coming over for Christmas?”
“I don’t know o.”
“Anything the matter?”
“Nothing.”
“Sis, you know you can talk to me, ok?”
“Ok bro, but not, ok?”
“Ok Sylvia.”
“Yes.”
“Are you happy?”
“I think so.”
“Is that an answer?”
“Look, Alex, later, ok?”
“You sure you don’t want to talk about it?”
“Yes.”
“Alright love.”
“Thanks.”
“See ya later.”
“Greet my lovely babies for me. I’ll send them gifts.”
“What about mine?”
“Yours? I’ll see what I can do.”
“Bye sis.”
“Yep.”
At least I’ve gotten that out of the way. It now remains my parents but that will be later. I still haven’t figured out where I’ll be spending the holidays. I don’t want to stay in my parents’ house and not with my brother and family either but somehow I know things will sort themselves out.
I decided to go out on a stroll so off I went and I met Isaiah George on the way. I nearly dodged him but he saw be at the last minute.
“Ha, Ha, so this is what I’ve been doing, eh.”
“Isaiah George! I didn’t see you.”
Who am I deceiving?
“Liar you saw me, you were avoiding me. Come to think of it I haven’t seen you since that last time. Eh, now I know. You’ve been avoiding me abi?”
“No, it’s not what you think.”
“You think so? Nearly everybody has been avoiding me lately. What makes you any different? In fact did I tell you my girl left me? No, I don’t think so. Well, she left. Guess why. She said she was tired of being like she was; that she was tired of taking water and carrots to slim down, see?”
“But Isaiah, don’t you think water and carrot is too harsh?”
“See you. In fact I think all females are the same. What is wrong with water and carrots? By the way, she only eats the four days out of seven.”
“It’s alright, what are you doing about her? Have you gone to see her?”
“She went back to her place in Niger State. And my snakes are there. If I go who will feed them? You might ask if I can’t get my of my colleagues but you see, my snakes wouldn’t eat from any other person but to me they are my babies.”
With that I just got irritated frustrated and disgusted. The guy is feelingly repulsive.
“Isaiah, do you know you’re a selfish man! You mean your stupid snakes come before your girl? You should be thrown into the gallows. You are such a horrible person you tell somebody to eat carrots…”
“Don’t…”
“Wait, let me finish. Don’t you dare interrupt me. And to crown it you have to listen to me and listen well, ok?”
Isaiah was so flabbergasted he couldn’t say anything again. He just nodded meekly so I continued.
“And water four in seven days of the week! Why don’t you stop jogging and start eating things to keep you in shape? Let me tell you what I think about you in full. I think – in fact I know - you are an arrogant foolish ingrate.”
I was panting when I finished. I had never said that many words before. I walked out on him and he just stood looking like the world had crashed at his feet. I bet nobody had ever said that much to him before and you know what? It felt good. It felt really, really good. I was angry. Angry at myself and the mess I had made of relationships, both now and then. I was angry that people take people for granted. I was angry at the likes of Isaiah who just feel everybody should do whatever they say. I needed to lash out, to speak out, to bring out frustration and Isaiah George was at the right place at the right time. I felt lightheaded after what I did and I was a little close to happy, happy in the real sense. I wanted to go back and give him more but I just kept going. Then I noticed I was swinging my waist as I was walking in the direction of a Christmas tune playing, “Santa Claus is coming to town.” I started singing along and dancing. I felt free. It was as if a wedge was lifted off me and I thought to myself, what a beautiful place, I am going to spend my Christmas here. And it wasn’t scary again at all.
I ran back home. I was going to make myself a very big Christmas cake, decorate it then take it to the motherless babies’ home. I made a resolution. Nobody is responsible for me; I am going to take up my responsibility from that very minute and for the first time since that incident before I slept I thought about Santa Claus and I just for minute wished it were real then I could’ve written him for a Christmas gift. Michael was still in my mind and if there is any gift I want for Christmas it is Michael and his love. It happened that I slept well and deep. And I knew deep within me that I was now going through the process of healing.

thanks for the encouragment.

i'll definately get chapther seven across.

CHAPTER 6

It is now almost a year since I joined the firm. Things are going smoothly and well. My brother has another baby and my grandparents are almost screaming their heads off, as is my mum. She is already thinking I am going to turn out to be one of those stiff-shirt career women. Any time she calls, all she talks about is the beauty of marriage, how her friend’s daughter came to visit her with her baby and husband.
My relationship or whatever is with Michael has blossomed and is still running high. It was by unspoken agreement that we started going out and it’s been fun and heavenly. I don’t think there is a more romantic guy than Michael and he’s not even mushy with it. He is spoiling me rotten. We speak every day, go out three times a week and for the rest of the week we share the cooking. Whenever he travels or I am not in town, I miss him like crazy. Our sex life, hmm, has skyrocketed and every time is always new to me. Because I can no more deny it even if I want to, any time I think about him I get goose bumps all over. They even noticed I am happier at work. One day, my boss saw me passing he put a hand on my wrist and said, “You are looking more radiant these days.”
“Thank you.”
“I sure know it’s some guy.”
“Ah.”
“Ah what? Don’t be ashamed, it’s the best thing that can happen to one.”
“Thank you, sir.”
“Tell the guy to keep it up,” he said and walked away. My boss is a very warm man in his late fifties. He is such a father figure that you can trust with your life and at that moment I felt like hugging him and telling him how happy I was. Happiness is not something one can hide. All my co-workers noticed the change in me. When I got back from my leave they all concluded that it befitted me. Most guessed it was the guy who I brought to the company dinner. In fact, some have even been hinting me about wedding bells. Can you believe that? The only reason why I am not enjoying myself to the fullest is Cynthia.
Cynthia thinks that I am a backstabber. She said I betrayed her trust and snatched the only person she loved. I tried to explain but I couldn’t say anything. What could I even had said? I can have said he loves me because I don’t even know how he feels even in the throes of passion. Come to think of it, he didn’t even ask me out! Would I even have said no? I don’t think so. Cynthia and I barely say a civil good morning to each other again. And not being the type to keep grudges, it bothers me a lot. But Tolu said I should leave her alone since I’ve tried making things like it used to be. Tolu is very happy for me. She thinks we are now two peas in a pod since she is also getting married soon. Marriage! It sinks my heart even though Michael and I are good. He told me during one of our discussions before we even started the relationship that marriage was not for him, after all. He had tried it once and the girl had called it off two days to the wedding. So no more wedding, he said. You might ask why I am still in the relationship. Well, I didn’t know I was going to fall in love and I deceived him to enjoy it while it lasted. Now, while I know it is best for me to get out, I can’t help but stay. I love him too much to stay and I love him too much to go. This has been weighing me down recently.
“Hey you.”
“Hello sweet.”
“How was work today?”
“Stressful. I will be traveling outside the country the day after tomorrow.”
“Let me get you something to drink. I cannot drink beer, ok?”
“Ok.”
I gave him his drink and started massaging his stiff shoulder.
“That’s good.”
“What?”
I pointed to my hands on his neck.
“See, I have been thinking.”
“About what?”
“Hmm, good, good, good.”
“Be serious.”
“Where you are spending Christmas?”
“I haven’t even thought about that but I guess with my parents but I haven’t made up my mind yet.”
“I see. Which country do you love to visit?”
“Jamaica for one but why?”
“Oh nothing.”
“What are you thinking?”
“Would you like to spend Christmas with me? We could take a trip to Jamaica, of course.”
“You are kidding.”
“Ain’t.”
“Of course I mean yes,” I said, giving a hug from the back.
“I like that,” he sad. I added a peck.
“I have been thinking again.”
“Seems to me that you’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately.”
“I sure have.”
“So?”
“Hmm, by the way you will make a good wife and mother.”
My heart did a summersault.
“What made you say that?”
“Oh nothing, I guess it just came out.”
“You were saying?”
“I have been thinking we should…” he began saying but before he could finish there was a knock on the door. I went to see who it was.
“Hello love.”
I was so shocked I couldn’t speak for a minute or two then: “Rogers! What are you doing here?”
“Well, aren’t you even happy to see me? Won’t you even ask me in first?”
“Well, come in.” Before I knew it he entered and was hugging and kissing me.
“Baby, I missed you so much, I couldn’t stay away any longer. I love you. Marry me and we’ll do whatever you want to do.”
I struggled out of his grip as I felt Michael’s eyes on me. I looked toward him to see him staring at me with steel in his eye. I turned back to face Rogers, my ex-fiancé.
“Roger, behave yourself, I have a visitor.” Roger can be a fool and that’s most times.
“Don’t give me that look, let me explain.”
“There is nothing to explain by the way congratulations.”
With that I just got so angry.
“If that’s how you see it, thanks.”
“Bye.”
“Forget.”
“Ok,” he said and left.
I went back inside and Roger was all sweet on me.
“What did you do that for?” I asked.
“What”
“Tell him you’re my fiancé.”
“But it’s kind of true.”
“Maybe you’re forgotten but I don’t think so we parted ways seven months ago and you are my ex.”
“Sorry about that but I came to make up with you which I think you should be happy about.”
“And why should I be happy about it?”
“Well, I am offering marriage.”
“You’re crazy and you can go throw your ring in the River Niger for all I care. Get out of my house and never come back. I don’t even want to perceive your smell, you son of a gun.”
“What did you say?”
“What part didn’t you hear?”
“The get out and don’t ever come near me part or the son of a gun part, you smchuck.”
“Don’t you call me nasty names?”
“You’re stepping on my nerves.”
“I sincerely hope it breaks forever.”
“You’re such a mule.”
“Get out of my house and make it now.”
Roger left and I was all alone. I tried calling Michael but his lines were not available. I went to his place and didn’t meet anybody. I tried all I could to get in touch but I couldn’t. I went back home and for the first time in my whole almost thirty years I couldn’t sleep. I cried my eyed out and tried consoling myself that it was better that way since he wasn’t even about to marry me in the first place but no matter how I tried I just couldn’t stop crying. It was as if I had been saving all the tears for that particular day. I told myself a hundred times there was nothing I didn’t do in excess. I got angry with myself, then with Roger and Michael. I moved from anger to hurt to self-pity and lastly to depression. The next day I tried to put on a bold face at work but my colleagues still noticed so I told them I was coming down with malaria. I called Michael’s office but was told he had traveled. He was meant to go tomorrow, I said, but the secretary said he shifted it. I was alone. I went home to sulk then I told myself good riddance. There was nothing I could do again until Michael returned. At least he could have allowed me to explain but I reasoned with myself again that I was not at fault. He didn’t even define our relationship. That nasty nitwit Roger. How I just felt like biting his nose off, the arrogant fool. When I think about it now, I wonder why I had even gone out with him in the first place. What was I thinking? And it was not like I was even attracted to him or anything, it was only that I was rather desperate at the time and there was no one else around. Well, everyone makes mistakes. Not that I am regretting but it can be quite annoying and sometimes sad, like it is now. I lost the man I loved through my past mistake but its ok, shit like that happens. All I know is that I might as well forget about all my dreams about marriage and babies. It’s either Michael or no-one else.