Mtcheeeeewwww!!!

Sincerely I wonder the type of marriage our 'dear sisters' go into these days.

@OP, did you marry your father or your old school teacher that you cannot talk to?
Was he the one that trained you in school or taking care of your parents and siblings that you cannot express how you feel about something he is doing or about to do?

It really baffles me the level of relationship and communication between couples in our modern day marriages. "Marriage is not to be Managed" what happens to friendship, trust, mutual respect, values, morals, openeess, selflesness, d list is endless.

I cannot have a clear evidence, looking at me korokoro, that my dear hussy is about to cheat /phuck anoda woman and I will fold my hands and watch him do it then we come back and talk about it. TUFIAKWA!!! May the gods forbid. Whatever it will take me to stop dat from happening I will do it. For Christs sake we are talking about your hussy here, the supposed father of your kid(s), not some dude you are dating.

I read some comments here and I simply laff, not just becos they are funny, but I marvel at the level of ignorance. Dat man took you to the alter and vow b4 God and men to Love and Cherish you and to be FAITHFUL to you, till death do you part, and here some ignoramus are asking you why you are snooping on your husbands phone. Are you too suppose to have privacy? His privacy should equally be your privacy cos two of you are now one.

But if he must cheat, IF HE MUST CHEAT, why should he leave traces on his phone, that is the height of disrespect and it shows Clearly he does not value the marriage institution neither does he understand the meaning of the vow (convenant) that he made to you and to God and to himself.

Am writing this with so much passion that am finding it difficult to stop.

@OP, I cannot advice you, not that I don't have any advice, but what works for me maybe disastrous in your case. The only thing I wuill tell you is this: you know that man more than anybody on NL, you dated him(probably), you married him. If he is doing this now, he must have done or was doing it when you were courting, but for whatever reason you chose to turn a blind bat. Since he has already gone on the trip , unfortunately, when he comes back deal with it the best way you can. You know how and when best to talk to him, do that in a way that will appeal to his conscience.

Finally, you said you are preggy, are you sure you are not d one pushing him into the hands of that lady, by always being 'sick' in the name of pregnancy. ( We ladies do that a lot). Have you been up and doing in carrying out your conjugal duties? Even when it seems you are 'dying'.

One advice, even when you are feeling so terrible that you cannot do it, don't push him away, cuddle him, bring him close, let him feel warmth do whatever you can for him, if you can give him a job, help him self-service, bear the discomfort once in a while and give him a good phuck. He will always aprreciate you that despite your condition you are still meeting up with his demands (even if not 100%) THAT HAS BEEN MY SECRET. Once dat tension is eased off, most men comes back to their senses.

Food FOR THOUGHT!
MEN ARE LIKE BABIES, FEED THEM, CARE AND LOVE THEM, AND WHEN THEY WANT TO 'PLAY' MAKE THEIR 'TOYS' AVAILABLE, you will have them wrapped around your pretty little fingers .

Best regards!

Obinoscopy: I recommend you check out this thread:

https://www.nairaland.com/1805219/french-speakers-french-learners-nairaland

I've gone thru d thread it seems they've gone far. Can hardly comprehend wats goin on.

@brightko, thanks for offering to assist. I think we can do the lesson online here on NL. So that others can benefit too.
Waiting for the first class

Choiii!!! Am not taking this again. Wia is dis bobo? #runs off# honeyyyyyyyyyyyy...

bodashee: @snazzylove.....that end of story that you are searching for.......

#putting on my bedmatic binaculars# . Raising curtain and watching Godmystrength closely .

Bodashee shift abeg you are blocking my view

[quote author=Godmystrength]what of the last child? That means no younger sibling's bath water to bath with. So last born will be falling sick abi?[/quot

Hahahahahahahaaa . Noo. If there is no new baby d last born won't fall sick. The 'falling' sick according to them, is due to the new born. #Jealousytinz#

joanne1: Hi evryone, I do wanna know ur tots on dis issue. My Mum says d water used in bathing an infant wld b used to bath his/her immediate older sibling. Hw true is dis and why?

Yes. Was told the same thing too. Reason is that it will prevent the older one from falling sick. Superstitious though.

When I was younger, my mama used to say that husband and wife issues are always settled on the bed, I didn't understand it then, thought she meant just sitting or lying on d bed to settle the matter . But now I know better. @Godmystrenght: putting momma's advice into practice . Kip it up.

Happy for you gal.
But come and finish d story...lol

brightko: Can help if you are a fast learner

Yes. Wil appreciate. When do we start pls?

Kindly assist me with french lessons. Even if its just basics
Thanks.

ESUT Biz School, Enugu.

Godmystrength: and what kinda tricks could that be? Why does he have to copy the number behind my back and he doesn't even tell me afterwards until he calls the person?

[b][/b]Na wa for that kind of love then o

Love nwa ntinti .
Insecurity! He only wants to be sure you are where u said u are at every point in time. No be say ur line no dey go .

Godmystrength: So you just fix it like a pad or how?

Yes dear. I fix it like a pad. (Size 5 pampers) just get all these panties that looks like short but tight on u, very comfy. I can sit for hours without bothering to watch my back. My room mate back then in school introduced me to it, at first I was like, whaaaat? Pampers? But I tried it once, and since then I've been happy. No stain, no check .

@hispinkolo and Icherishu: u gals hv said it all. Most importantly like u pointed out it very difficult to show love to somone that hurts or is still hurting you.
My dear Emioga, as it stands now, you have no choice than to love that man. Seriously. Moving out is not an alternative. What will even be your reason 4 leaving your matrimonial home, in-laws? They are not worth it. Believe me' its a passing phase. I mentioned on this thread that you can never predict how hubby will react if the issue has to do with his people (especially the mum) there is this hidden sentiment and defense wall they build around them. What am I saying, the key to your success in that marriage is pretense. Yes, PRETEND, pretend as much as you can for the sake of peace.
. If she was staying with me (like in your case) maybe r/ship would have bin different, and this is why and where you need a lot of wisdom. Don't argue or exchange words with her, don't stand in her way (especially in the kitchen). Thank God the issue of cooking was resolved by your hubby. But my dear you need to develop a thick skin, very thick one oo. Always have it at the back of your mind that they are the real 'visitors' (forget about what hubby said) they can't live with you 4eva. Its a passing phase, the cross you have to bear now for your marriage to work.

Finally, I have to say again, LOVE YOUR HUBBY. Its difficult, but that's the only alternative you have. Make you home lively, stop complaining to him about his mother, stop giving him the impression that you don't like their presence in your home, whatever you can do to change his opinion about you towards his people, pls do. Why am I saying this? At the end of all these struggle and rat-race, it will only be you and your hubby, that has bin my watchword in my marriage. Somtimes hubby will annoy me to the point of wanting to curse him, but when I sit down in my quiet time and reflect, I realise that this was the man I loved and married, if he were as bad maybe I wouldn't have married him, we sleep and wake up everyday 2geda, why would I resent him so much. At a time like this I try to think about those thins that appealed to me when I first accepted his proposal, how crazy we were about each other, then there was no in-laws. So minus in-laws I should still be crazy about this man.

In essence, stop seeing the bad aspect of your hubby, am sure there are somthings that he still gets right, concentrate on them. Think about when you were dating how much u waited or wanted him to propose, stop feeling all alone, bring him back home, good a thing you are expecting a baby, draw him close, talk about your unborn child, make him hold you and feel ur babys movement, do those things you know he likes that apppeals to his senses. Make him feel as the man and the head of the family that he is, if you are doing something and he says stop, you may not like it but stop ant talk to him later about it.

If he sees positive changes from you, believe he will turn around, you will be surprise.
NOTE: all these I have stated above will not be easy but it requires a lot of selfidiscipline and a strong will plus prayers to achieve.
That is the sacrifice you have to make.

I wish you the very best.

Heavy flow seems like almost everybodys story . Am not exempted too. Lol. B4 I started having kids it was really heavy (not that it has reduced now) but I've found a way of managing it, at least d first 3 days which torments seriously how bad it is? I don't use pads or tampoons, I use diapers . Yes oo. Pampers to be precise. I don't want stories, or always having to watch my back. I change like 2wice b4 d day runs out. Its very comfortable.
@lashawn, if the doctors says there is no serious health condition, (fibroid, endometriosis, etc) then relax and be managing it the best way you can. Hopefully by the time you start having kids it will become a story 4 u.
Cheers!
E no easy

Emioga: Mine is worse.my MIL and BIL stay with us despite they have 3 houses of their own.its been tough bt to make matters worse hubby will tell u 'its my house and u didnt give me money and u r d visitor ,if u aint comfortable move out''.marrige aint sweet i tell ya

Babe sorry to ask but was that marriage arranged or you guys met each other on your own, dated and then decided to marry?

How to help her?

Simply mind your business. Let her do the finding out herself. She should know who she's been dating 4 d past 2yrs.

Except u want dem 2 settle the matter on top ur head.

My sincere opinion.

shooze: I find it strange that people expect the husband to just accept it. If tables were turned I would be really hurt. I can't imagine my husband naming my child after an ex dead or not. I would take it to mean that a part of him still yearns for what would have been and he is not totally happy in the marriage

I find it very disrespectful

I agree totally with you. Am sure the woman would have brought down the house should the hubby do same to her.
For people that are saying its just a name. Its not just a name oo! Serious sentiment is attached to it. The woman indirectly told her hubby that she loved and still love her ex even in death. Mtcheeewww!

If am d hubby, dat name must be deleted, permanently.

LWKMD!!! Ramsey Noah and Emeka Ike you people have succeded I'm making our girls believe in Love in Tokyo. Alwayz having a happy ending. Chaiiii!!! Diaris God oooo... All these fake love you people are sharing in Nollywood, diaris God oo...

Bros abeg tell the babe 'ya gbara ogwu ya nuo'. If she know wia she baf make she go there carry her wrapper.

Shikena!

Benez:

Since u think u av too much to handle, don't u equally think that ur man needs a second wife to reduce ur load of responsibilities. Will that solve the problem?

I am now beginning to know why the rise in divorce cases.

Its people like you dat turns their wives to househelp and still see nothing wrong with it

@hispinkolo, girl I dey feel ur swag. Keep doing what you know how to do best.

@helen4.
My dear I cannot say I understand completely how you are feeling cos I was not in your shoes, but I have a sister who was. Though her case was made lighter cos her MIL was really nice and supportive, even somtimes when the hubby wants to be naughty, MIL always stands up 4 her. Until 12yrs later when God visited her with a baby boy. But the MIL was not around to share in the joy. God bless her soul.
But in your case, I'll seriously advice that you thread carefully. This one that you don't have a child yet, and MIL is being harsh, (which am not sure is as a result of you not having a child), if the baby eventually comes, I doubt if her attitude will change. Continue 2 be urself, don't give them the 'have pity on me' attitude. Be nice and couteous, do not overdo things, offer genuine assistance when you feel they need it, not eye-service. Concentrate on your family, hubby and takinh care of urself. Avoid anything that will give you stress unnecessarily, anxiety is not good at this time. When you make love with hubby, relax and enjoy it, avoid thinking 'will this one give us a baby'. Most importantly, turn to God in prayers, he is the God of impossibilities. Do not ignore medical check ups too. The God that did it for Hannah in the bible, the same God did it for my immediate elder sister after 12yrs, he equally did it for my friend after 5yrs. That same God will still do it for you. He has never failed in the history of time, he will not fail in your own time.
God bless you and enjoy your marriage.

I wash only his inner wears and datz it. Anyother cloth apart from these goes 2 d laundry house. But if he decides 2 wash by himself, no prob I will help him fix d water and get detergent .
I already have loads of work on my hands.

Where are my 'co-wives' and our 'husbands'? Una don Zap? Make una come oo. Gist dey. #onlineamebotinz#

I stop at 6months. Max 8months. Never done up to 1yr. Datz d best 4 me.

Am not really a fan of 'your money, our money syndrome' in marriages. First of all, if that 100k was kept in ur account by your wife! You have no moral justification to use it. Secondly, you said she's aware that you used the money, under what condition? Did she lend it to you? Do you both agree that you will pay back the money? If yes then pls pay back and don't grumble.
Remember 'businesses does well when friends and relatives pay up their debt'.
If you borrow and pay back, when you have need for it again, funds will still be available for you to borrow. Most women have great ability to save(for rainy dayz). So you should be grateful dat your wife has such ability.
In my family for instance, I do things (family upkeep and stuffs) without bothering my hubby, I don't ask for refund either. But if he borrows from me, as in ask me to lend him money, he has to pay back, this is not beign insensitive to the family needs and all that, but since he's capable of paying back, I always demand dat he does so, except where I decide to waive it on my own.

So OP, communicate more with wifey and stop feeling used. Afterall its your primary responsiblity as the man to take care of her needs as well as that of the family.

@Godmystrenght and Aisha2.

No be small tin oo. I really try. I dey do better person nah. Wife to-be wey dem come assess. Mtcheewwww!

Na wao! All in d name of marriage. Sister pls borrow enough leg and bail urself out of dat enstrangement. This is no relationship. If u venture into this in d name of marriage then ur surname will sooner than later be 'SORRY'.

Before I got married, I had a guy introduced to me by my aunty as a prospective spouse. We got talking on phone, then he decided to pay me a visit. Just because my aunty told him am a banker, he had high expectations, maybe he even thot I was the bank manager. The day he came to my house, my simple one bedroom apartment with light furnishing, no chair just my centre rug and puff, I saw d disapointment written all over his face, lol , I offered him to join me on the rug as a seat, he said he doesn't sit on the floor, ok. I went out to get a plastic chair for him from my neighbour which he managed to sit on . Our conversation was scanty as I noticed how busy he was perusing my apartment. For my mind, I say see gold digger oo. I didn't need a prophet to tell me that this one is not it oo.

When he left he promised to keep in touch, as if our minds were working together, he never called me again till date and me I thanked my God that he never called again.

In essence dear, u have all the signs to show u that this cannot work except you want to turn a blind eyes to it.

Do the needful and save yourself from the time bomb!

[quote author=bellong]

Little foxes spoil the vine. Your husband will be disappointed the day he discovers you still snoop around his phone looking for evidence of infidelity.

Going by what you've written about him, he has not given you any reason to doubt his fidelity, I see no reason why snooping is necessary.

How will you feel if you discover your husband nurses silent suspicion of infidelity against you all these years?

You have a great husband, stop the secret snooping of his communications. That to me is paranoia. [I /quote]

I never said am nursing silent suspicion of infidelity against my hussy, I mentioned its a habit 4 me now. Not that I don't or can't go thru his phone in his presence, but he may say for sure if am doing that with the intention of findidng something. Somtimes I don't even know why I do it myself . Like you said, he has not given me reason to suspect him.
He is a great hussy and a wonderful dad

Marriage is not a bed of Roses (popular adage) but if you manage yours very well, you find out that the bed is even seeter than that of Roses.

Its not only men that have the tendency to cheat. Women do too! But if the two pple involved make it their top priority to ensure that their marriage works, I bet u it will.

When I was courting my hussy, I snoop thru his fone a lot, always looking for that slightest evidence to show me that yes he up to something. And my kind of person when I see anything I confront him with it, occassionally I see text messages from babes to him (those ones don't really bother me), what I was looking for was from him to a babe which I do normally get disappointed cos I won't see any.

Now that we are married, I haven't really stopped snooping, he doesn't even know I do that. Its a habit for me though. He does not even safe guard his phone like most men do, we are free with each other, he takes my calls I take his, we talk, a lot, we talk about our, feelings for each other, our $ex life etc. He once asked me if I've ever taught of cheating on him.

I once had an experience with a particular guy who is equally hussys friend, d guy was seriously breathing down on my neck, (mind is very tricky) at a point I started likikg d guy, infact he gave me sleepless nights, I was battling with myself on how to deal with him, at a point I had to open up to hussy and tell him everything, (cos I've always prayed to God to help me remain faithful to my husband). Hussy is a great person, God bless that man for me. He understood me perfectly, he didng go abusing or criticizing me. Infact he made that period memorable for me, he took me shopping, movies, clubbing, just name it. He made me feel like a school girl,he showered me with love like never before. He told he he's proud of me and that he repects me more for coming out clean with that episode.

As it is now, there is nothing I don't talk with hussy, if he notices a looming temptation around him (babes) he tells me and we talk about it, most importantly we pray about it. We can tease and joke with each other about issues. He trust me, and I trust him too. And that's because we've tried as much as we can to encourage openess in our relationship.

beeevan:




I can't stop imagining an innocent woman discovering a positive HIV status and still being able to contain it within herself. Once an innocent woman contacts HIV, her husband is the next person she confronts. For this one to keep to herself suggests that she might not be that blameless and innocent after all. Which man will not question why a doc suggested condom for his already pregnant wife? She might have tailored this gist to absolve herself,nah them sabi .



Congratulations on your new baby dear, may God protect and preserve him for you.

Na dem really sabi my dear. I didn't go poking my nose into whatever it is she told her husband that her doc advised.

One really need to be careful and be as close to ur spouse as much as you can. Never giving room for little misbehaviours. Talk, talk, and continue talking with each other. Make communication a hobby, that way, it will be easy to handle challenges when they arise.

Thanks dear. Hugs

beeevan: This is scary ooo, asking ones husband to go for HIV test out of no where will definitely kill something in that marriage if he is innocent(never cheated) , what really is the way forward




Snazzy I really don't understand how a woman who never cheated can keep a positive HIV result to herself, that means she has been making love to him knowing her positive status, things dey happen oo.

I asked her dat question oo. But she said because hubby was not always around it was easy for her to hide it. That the few times they made luv she insisted they use condom based on her doctors advice, and luckily for her, CDs were given to them at the antenatal class, so it was easy for her to use it as a cover up.

My sister, things dey happen sha o!