₦airaland Forum

Small test she just failed woefully, the guy is a real man for not picking her calls after disrespecting his entire family.......

boyfwend:
Guys please help me.
I and my crush (though girlfriend to be) have fixed date which is this Saturday, to go for a date. I'm just a newbie into this dating stuff. And I don't know how it's been done!
I've asked few of my friends that are already expertise, but they keep telling me to just conduct myself and be free with her. I still don't understand what they're even saying.....
Now the worst thing is, this is my first time of going for date with a lady.
I am just confused Saturday is already here but still don't know what to do.
I'm planning of taking her to market square (port Harcourt people can relate).
What are we going to do?
What should I buy?
What should be our discussion? As per, we have already got to know everything about ourself.
What should I ask her to not kill the vibes?
Please help me as I find myself in dilemma.

Hahahahaha!! "The rite of passage", i remember my first date like it was yesterday, i had just started driving so i sneaked out with my mum's peugeot 405 to pick her and that was the biggest mistake ever. The stupid car didn't misbehave until i got to her gate and it started overheating, due to lack of experience i opened the radiator and brown hot water gave my white shirt a new design, i was caught between the devil and the deep blue sea, my options were go to the nearest boutique and get a new shirt(this option wasn't viable because it will drastically reduce my budget for the date) or risk the traffic all the way back home with a semi-healthy car or just show up with my shirt looking like an accident victim. I still don't know how and why i gathered liver to show up with my shirt like that, ironically the date went pretty well and we even made fun of shirt and its new design. Young man let the words of the great Chingus Khan guide you "It is better to be hated for who you are than to be loved for who you are not"...........

Destiny!!! You cannot fight it.......

The facial expression of the lady behind the bride in the first picture be like "upon all my bleaching this oyinbo refused to choose me"......

Shout out to Teebillz! My brother just find consolation in "Okafors law".........

See how bum bum' be like Cotonou meatpie......

The world has gone bonkers, they have taken 'mummy and daddy' play to another level.....

Airport-----Airpie----

Trying too hard......

Eroju Ole e mu! Omo eni o shay agbafo o ko asho wale.....(You saw the face of a thief and refused to catch him, your child is not a dry cleaner but keeps bringing home different clothes)......

jesusjnr:
Satan made a proposal to me several years ago, and it was a contractual offer of sixty million dollars reviewed upwards to a hundred and twenty million dollars for me to disobey God and not to publish the word of his kingdom to his creation. It was vintage Satan as he didn't come in his own form but in the form of someone very familiar, even a relative of mine. Also he didn't state it directly, but in a typically cunning way as he did to the woman in the beginning. But being a product of the words of his kingdom myself, i was able to sense something fishy going on, with respect to the condition attached to the offer. Hence i asked for the pen, and when it was given to me, i used it to destroyed the paper of the contract offer with a kind of anger i've rarely seen me display, as if i felt really insulted by the idea that there was a chance that i could have even contemplated it, needless say accepting such an offer.

Abeg do you still have this Satan guy's number?

Whether the spelling is right or wrong nah dis type of car you fit use send your father-in-law errands......

Fazemood:
If you find yourself in this service how focused can you be

Very focused on the 'temple of the Lord" Amen somebody!!!!

Ishilove:
Arakurin, not all men are as Bush and unromantic as you. Your own idea of romance is dashing your okpekes a peck on the forehead. Is it any wonder they steal your remote control?

Sweet nothings are those 'sugar in my tea, butter in my bread' lines.

What i lack in 'romance' i make up with in "performance', for instance instead of preaching plenty romance I'd rather just take my lady to France and change her circumstance...........

Kai!!! So after the albinos of the West sold our ancestors, is it now time for us to be selling ourselves? This David is a child of a thousand fathers......

Ishilove:
This is also very romantic. After wowing me with sweet nothings, top it up with "darling, send me your account number..."

Chaaaaaiiii, love is sweet ooo!!

Explain 'sweet nothings' and do people still use 'darling' in 2018?

In Nigeria no love quote is stronger than "Send me your account number"........

Georgexx1:
I have been begging this chick for a chat lately but she dont reply. I love this lady like FOR REAL, i dream about her. Can someone kindly beg her for me?

her name is Sinaj or Osinachi i guess.

I love you @sinaj

PS: George

Awwwwww!! See true love!! Don't give up my brother. Sinaj Sinaj Sinaj!!! How many times did i call you!!! You better reciprocate this man's love before we take up the case and report you to your local government chairman, landlord, pastor, village chief, senator, DPO of your area, for "Emotional deprivation".........

Please how much is a carton of Cabin biscuit in the market?

Hehehe! Small world... Congrats to the couple....

See as legs fresh like Norwegian turkey........

Early retirement due to lack of job satisfaction.......

Choke me baby!!! Nkwobi and enough milk to wash it down!! Nah neighbors go hear am!!!(literally and figuratively)

Not bad!

I don't understand, a 'former pdp chairman" is now a "taxi driver"?

This one is a "small god" herself, if i get these cars my neighbors don die!!! It is in the middle of the road they will be washing all my cars every morning and nobody will leave until my cars are washed, everyone living in my estate 'must' come and greet my cars "good morning" before they leave for work or i buy your house and turn it to parking lot........

World people!!! What if he took her for "water baptism"......