₦airaland Forum

Marriages today are hitting the rocks ceaselessly with no end in sight. In spite of the negative turn of events we see in homes today, some marriages are still flourishing as a result of these three factors I'm about to highlight.
Mind you, having a partner who is good in bed cannot keep a marriage from crashing. Sex does not sustain marriage when the chips are down. As a man , no matter how huge your penis is or how good you are in bed, a goal oriented, ambitious woman will work away from you when she realizes you can't meet her futuristic expectations. That's why a lot young ladies leave their long time relationship to marry a new found love.
Similarly, the beautiful or sexy appearance of a woman cannot prevent a man from walking away from his marriage. In fact, we 've heard of men who abandoned their very beautiful wives and go after a lady who can not hold a candle to their wives in terms of beauty, this is because, curves, breasts and butts have very little or no role to play when storms of life come hard on you. Below, are the three main things that keep the union going when things are falling apart:
1. MONEY: It's said that the presence of money does not guarantee a successful marriage, its availability will, however,douse a lot of tension that may arise from spousal disagreement. Majority of women are in their marriages today not because they are comfortable with their husband's excesses, but because of the constant flow of money coming from their hubbies they let sleeping dogs lie. Also, some men are putting up with their wives due to the fact that the wife is a huge pillar of financial support to the them and the family. So, they fill that doing away with such women will amount to huge economic loss.Note, however, that men under this category are mostly unresourceful. Try your possible best to be financially stable when going into this union called marriage, especially as a man.You will need this stability to weather the storm.
2. CHILDREN: Children play a big role in keeping couples together during difficult times.The fear of what become of the children when couple go their separate ways has sustained a lot marriages for years. Most women have very strong compassion and connection towards their children. They wouldn't want another woman to raise their children while they alive hence, they stay in their marriages. Similarly, some men decided to forgive their adulterous wives and welcome them back into their home not because they still love the wife. But simply because of the strong affection they have for their children. Not all children can successfully go through the emotional trauma associated with divorce.So, these highly responsible and compassionate men tend to sacrifice their ego for the happiness and emotional stability of their wards. Ensure you bear children in your marriage.Their presence will make a lot of difference in times of marital crisis.
3. SEXUAL PURITY OF THE WIFE: This is the most important thing that keeps a man to his wife. A man will tolerate anything thrown at him in a marriage if he's certain that he is the only one who has slept with the wife all her life. Many men are in their childless marriage today because of this very fact. They see the childlessness in the their union as a cross they must carry owing to the sexual purity of the wife. There was a couple who had their first childbirth when the wife was 53years of age.When the man was asked how he managed to cope all these years without a child in spite of his wealth and relentless pressure from his family to marry another woman; his response was that, he is the only person who had had carnal knowledge of his wife. So, it's only proper for him not betray the woman who has been faithful to him all his life. If the woman had been disvirgined by another man before he got married to her, the story would probably have been different. A man can endure an insulting and nagging woman if he is sure if being only the man in her life. Sexual purity is the most valuable thing a woman can offer in a marriage. As woman, stay sexually pure and your husband will have no reason to want to ditch you when things are awry. I hope you you learnt something. Happy Sunday.

chuksbogus:
If anything had happend to that marriage everybody will be shouting man of God !! Accusing the man of various things becausebits only women that must he victims of abuse.

Chidu Ihemere, I sight you.

It's no longer news that adultery is now a major problem plaguing marriages today. The news, however, is the exponential increase it has assumed. In the registry where I work in Port Harcourt, we receive at least 10 cases of divorce every week, 8 of which are as a result of the wife committing adultery. This is why it's pertinent to take this info seriously so as to avoid anything or anyone that may lead you to break your marriage tomorrow.
Aside the fact that a lot of women fall for monetary and gifts inducement, though not all, other ways to identify a woman who will likely commit adultery or presently indulging in the act are as follow:

1. A Woman That Easily Gets Bored: Any woman that easily get bored is likely to commit adultery with a man that can give her fun in that state of boredom. That's why you find so many married women sleeping with younger men and still get the men paid after sex. This is not because they don't love their husbands; they just want fun and pleasurable means to extinguish their boredom.

2.A Woman With A Low Self-esteem: A woman with a very low self-esteem will easily be attracted to any man that flatters her with praises irrespective of the man's status or moral inclinations. A lady whose husband is a medical doctor once confessed to me her she fell for her husband's driver simply because the guy is always singing her praise and she eventually slept with him severally. A young lady I once dated with the intention of getting married to cheated on me with a road side mechanic apprentice. When I asked her why she did it, her response was that, my level of education was making her to feel that she was not good enough for me and that she has to settle for a person of her class.

3. A Woman That Fears Or Hates Being A Lone: This one is very crucial for new husbands whose nature of job keep them away from their wives. Any woman that hates being alone would easily be bedded by any man that can provide companionship whenever her husband is not around. Most women see sex as a worthy reward to a man that keeps them company.

4. A Woman That Enjoys Visiting Neighbors: From observations, I come to realize that most adulterous acts are committed by neighbors. When a woman easily enters a neighbor's house who happens to be a male, to watch TV programs, adultery is inevitable.

5. A Woman Who Enjoys Night Movement: Any lady that sees nothing wrong with night movements is a potential adulterer. A virtuous woman is always cautious of herself and her surrounding. Her fear towards rapists always make her avoid being outside her home at odd hours. But you see those loose cannons, they are ready for anything. They believe you can't do anything to them other than sex. Flee from such women.

6. A Woman Who Has Cheats As Close Friends: Women in this category will hardly see anything wrong with cheating on one's partner. Unfortunately, majority of ladies today fall within this group. Guys, open your eyes before it's too late.

7. A Woman That Keeps Male As Close Friends: If your fiancee is keeping a male friend, tell her to put an end to such friendship or you quit the relationship. If she insists on keeping the male friend, then walk away for your peace of mind. 98% of these male friends are actually side guys.

8. A Woman That Always Like Partying: You can hardly please ladies that are party freak. These ones will give anything to be on the spotlight.

9. A Woman That Acts Awkwardly At The Sight Or Hearing The Name Of A Particular Male: When a woman in serious relationship acts awkwardly or feel unease whenever a particular guy is within her vicinity or whenever she behaves awkwardly at the hearing of a particular guy's name, just have it mind that she has either had a relationship with the guy or she is secretly seeing him.

10. A Woman That Posts Emotionally Disturbing Headlines On Social Media, Especially Facebook: Guys, please take this very serious because this is newest way through which cheating women express their dilemmas. When married women or ladies in serious relationships make posts on Facebook such as: "I'M CONFUSED, GOD HELP ME", "LORD, PLEASE FORGIVE ME", "HOW DO I OVERCOME THIS?" , "I NEED YOUR GUIDANCE, LORD", " SATAN GET BEHIND ME", " MEN WILL NEVER STOP", " IS IT GOOD TO CHEAT?", etc, know that they are seeing a male secretly and are looking for ways to unburden themselves from the guilt feelings or seeking validations for their actions.

Caramia2020:
Hmm, it's better to act now because it might result to chaos, happening now at Orhuwhorun Junction, Udu, Delta State, Access Bank ATM has been burnt while the crisis has gotten to express junction. It's between the youths and military men because of the rejection of the old notes.

My guy l beg give me update. Na my area be that, but nah PH I dey stay.

HarlequinLekex:
How come dey meet in the first place?
Was the husband a pastor before they married?

The young pastor was already in the calling before he married this love peddler.

HarlequinLekex:
Nairalanders can form ehnn,just say u are the husband and she is the wife.There is no crime in it,all in all na to get solution to the issue at hand

The pastor is a member of this forum. But I don't think he's in the right frame of mind to create any thread now.

dawnomike:
Simply, he should take her out to a cool place like and eatery... And disclose his findings to her.
They should both agree on separation without affecting the kids. They can even continue to live under the same roof and mind their own business.

He has already confronted with the hard evidence and she has been begging since before I drove out of the compound. But the man is insisting on divorce.

Hello Nlanders, this early morning my neighbor woke me up and told me how he secretly check his wife's Facebook account and saw amorous conversations the wife had with a friend from the other end. From the conversation, he saw that the wife had slept with the guy in a car three times. This is a marriage that has been blessed with four kids. My neighbor in question is a pastor in one of the big churches in SOUTH-SOUTH Nigeria. He told me the founder of the church in which he pastors will never grant him the approval to divorce this slothful woman . He's asking my advice on the civil and easy way to part way with this LovePeddler of a woman without having any negative effects on his calling and ministry. Mynd44, nlfmod, please do the needful.

Hello Nlanders, this early morning my neighbor woke me up and told me how he secretly check his wife's Facebook account and saw amorous conversations the wife had with a friend from the other end. From the conversation, he saw that the wife had slept with the guy in a car three times. This is a marriage that has been blessed with four kids. My neighbor in question is a pastor in one of the big churches in SOUTH-SOUTH Nigeria. He told me the founder of the church in which he pastors will never grant him the approval to divorce this slothful woman . He's asking my advice on the civil and easy way to part way with this LovePeddler of a woman without having any negative effects on his calling and ministry. Mod in the house, please push to front page

Racemate:
.Please I am dying and losing weight fastly. Depression has
set in. Somebody please help with any amount. It is not my
making but unfortunate situation landed me here. Please
help with any amount. You'll save a soul by doing so.
79.83.05.32.16, We ma Bank God bless you for helping the
needy

If you supported Buhari in 2015 & 2019, and still willing to support Tinubu, then export more hardship.

post=114454251:
Naso, make una kontinue.
Dem no dey telli person.



If that is the way your brain interpret it to you,
That is your problem in life.
We cannot help you.
Live with it.

Can ever make your point without resulting to insults. Do you really know I was at your grill in PH last week just to have a better understanding of the person you really are?

buckeyemedia:
Empty cliche, cheap talk, a failure will always look for an excuse, let FIFA change the format, I know you believe an African team will win the soccer World Cup?

Just so you know, I'm not a politician but a very successful young man from Delta State. I don't need any political recognition to achieve whatever that is left in life that I 've not achieve. I only want an enabling environment where every Nigeria child can achieve their aspiration unhindered by any low-thinking being.

festacman:
They didn't allow the first one? Did they? It happened on them like a movie.

They never envisaged such a scenario; and that's why they will never allow a repeat of it. Just look at how Peter Obi, a unifying factor of the youths, is already being attacked maliciously by the political heavyweight.

Tellwhat:
Only thing that will save us is Restructuring

There's need for state police

Do you really think this fulani-led government will allow peaceful restructuring?

festacman:
EndSars protesters didn't have AK 47s. Did they?

Do you really think this government will allow another endsars like protest?

post=114454251:
Naso

Since it's Zamfara it is in order right? But if the southeast governors toe thesame path they are terrorists; isn't it?

festacman:
Telling the civil populace to arm and defend themselves suits our visionless leaders to confidently continue to shirk real governance while mismanaging public money. While you fight the terrorists and get killed, the police and army who are paid by the public fund guard the politicians and their families as they continue in office.

Instead of arming to defend themselves, Nigerians should use that courage to defiantly demand higher standard of governance from our Governors, the Legislators and the President. EndSars protests showed that a lot can be achieved by active interrogation of our leaders. The truth is that it our political leaders that we should fight against.

Fight the failed corrupt political leaders. They are the real terrorists.

How do fight them when you are not armed?.

KaluwisxPRO:
For which state Omo Agege don settle him own problem with Emerho inside APC before talking about taking delta from Pdp.

Una go just open mouth dey yarn dust. Omo Agege won’t get %30 of total vote. He’s not popular than Ogboru who’s been contesting from all the opposition since the days of AD.

Go Emerho compound for Evwreni you go see Omo-agege poster for billboard for front of Emerho compound

Chosen44:
which secondary school u attend.

I schooled in warri

Chosen44:
My knees almost rotten then due to crawling punishment my chemistry teacher then gave us...cos we got below 5 if u c my knees en,water was just coming out and flies were traling me...almost all the girls in my class were injured then,but nevertheless it helped to shapen some of our mistakes.

what is the name of your chemistry teacher? Your story sounds familiar

SugarGirl44:
What about me?
I'm jealous.

Because you believe in my prayer for her even though you don't know who I am, you will be wedded by the man of your heart desire before the end of this year in Jesus name. Please, keep me posted when the time comes.

dacblogger:
Did I tell you this is an excuse... This is an act I am trying to stop. I am not making excuses for myself.
Read to understand please and not to comment.

You made it an excuse when you said it's your coping mechanism.

MadamVanessa:




Inasmuch as I kick strongly against domestic violence against women. But if we want to be objective and look critically into most of domestic violence carried by men on women, we'll see that about 68% of it are caused by women.

The way and Manner wives talk at their husbands is always sad, and it's enough to make a sane man go insane immediately and unleashed his anger on the wife through beating.

Men should learn how to control their anger, because when you lay your hands on a woman, the society don't want to know the level of insult the woman gave you, all the blame will be on you.

This Madam Venessa is just a one in million. I've read her comments on issues boardering on relationships and they so unbiased, objective and devoid of every form of gender discrimination. I never knew there are feminine folks of this unique nature in this forum. My ernest prayer for you is that the Almighty God bless you with a man that can truelly appreciate you in Jesus name.

donleo92:
Everybody is hung up on domestic abuse by men against women. Nobody spares a moment to find solutions to the equally devastating verbal abuse men suffer in the hands of their wives. It is worse because men can't discuss what their wives do to them for fear of scorn and derision. They suffer in silence. Timebomb.

Unfortunately, the Nigerian society has little or no support systems for this kind of situation. Little or no counselling services. It's been mostly left to the church to deal with. What happens when the man doesn't go to church? What happens when the woman doesn't believe in spiritual intervention? These women are raising daughters. Their daughters are hearing and seeing how they speak to and treat their husband. What kind of wives will they grow up to become? Those that treat their husbands as kings or those that believe husbands are nothing but verbal punching bags?

We've all agreed and rightfully so that a man has no business hitting his wife. So how then do you stop a wife raining verbal missiles at you? Leave the house? Okay. But you'll return and it will continue. What next? Leave again? For how long?

Recently, I visited a senior friend, an important man in the society and while we were downstairs gisting, the voice of his wife could be heard upstairs. She was spewing unimaginable bile against the man. She called him all sorts of unprintable names. Impotent, wretched fool, miserable man that was nothing when she married him, etc. This is a well respected man. A father of 4 children. She tore at his very core and mocked everything society respected him for. She said he'd soon crash and she'll be there to laugh at him.

I was so uncomfortable as I beheld the man. He was shrunken before me. He was deflated. He tried to gamefully continue the gist to distract me but it was not working. The woman's vitriol was a ceaseless torrent. Uncomfortable silence ensued. I excused myself and left his house.

I was really sad.

You want to know the truth? This is what most men go through in their houses. They labour and toil and build respect but when they return home, the one who ought to speak to the king in them tears them to shreds and tries to deflate their self-esteem. When they are outside, they try to act cheerful and happy but back home, they are shrivelled because the person they live with makes it a point of duty to verbally assault them.

A sad story comes to mind. There was recently a Nigerian Ambassador who was recalled because his wife released a story to the press that he beat her. She also released pictures showing fresh injuries on her body ostensibly inflicted by the man.

In a dramatic twist, their children came out to debunk the stories and said their mother faked the injuries to embarrass their dad. Grown up children.

A particular sentence by the 1st son saddened me. He said it was as if their mum woke up every morning with one mission in life: how to make their dad miserable. They said they were witnesses to how their mum constantly harassed and abused their dad and wanted the whole world to know that their dad was not who their mum was painting him to be.

Yes, opinion shifted on the scandal but the damage had been done. The Ambassador was recalled and nobody heard from him again.

A family is currently at odds with the widow of their son and brother. The wife was constantly verbally assaulting him. Nobody wanted to visit them because each time they were around, it was always quarrel and the wife would call him unprintable names. Even in their presence. When they try to interfere, she will give them their own. The man died recently of heart-attack caused by high blood pressure. He was in his late 40s. The family insists his wife sent him to his early grave with her verbal torments.

Our bars are filled with men who are afraid to go home to their wives for fear of what verbal torment they will go through. Men are finding every excuse to travel because they'll rather be anywhere than in their own homes.

Everybody is focusing on men as culprits in domestic abuse. Who is talking to the women?

l never knew you are a member of this forum. I wanted to share it on this forum. Thank God you finally brought it here. The society needs to know what some men are experiencing in their relationship.

FERNANDEZISBACK:
Exactly you also have to reread my comment so you could properly understand..

If I observed that you want to start throwing tantrum, I will cease to engage you. Because from your comments I'm already sensing that.

Kobojunkie:
Stop with the ignorant attempts at pulling God down into your tirades abeg!

There is no ordinance given by God that supports any of the claims you have made here.

then, you are very far from the scripture.

FERNANDEZISBACK:
But a wannabe redpiller is not a terrible father right? *Grins*
Equal rights implies equal responsibilities.. *winks*

Look it depends on what the persons in the relationship are like...
A relationship is about two (or more) people bringing their values to bear on how they treat each othe not on the labels that they or others place on themselves and each other...

The definition of "feminist" has changed over time and will change further still...So it is problematic to define a person as a feminist and try to use that label as a predictor for his/her behavior towards a romantic partner..
Is that understood?

Please, l want you to reread this article with a view to learning from it and not with an antagonistic approach. By so doing, you will be greatly imparted positively. I've been in marriage for about eight years now and my lovely wife is aware of everything written here. I didn't write this article to spite anybody. I only want our value for marriage to be rekindled.

I decided to make this article public as a result of the increasing cases of divorce in our present day society.
First and foremost, who is a feminist? She is a female gender who dogmatically believes that she ought to always have her ways irrespective of the consequences or outcomes of her actions and inactions. These are group of people with warped definition of morality. To them, morality is subjective. They have no regard for God's ordinance; they lack empathy and are very toxic. Being a scrupulous woman to them, is viewed as being weak, wretched or being mentally imprisoned. Their hatred for the male folks is unimaginable. The only link between them and the masculine gender is sex and money. Nothing more. I repeat nothing more; not even children.
But to be fair to them, I will like to emphasize that these group of women were not born with these self-destructive tendencies. The society made them the monsters they are today, not all of them anyway.
From careful observations and analysis, I got to realize that some of them were products of broken homes; some have been molested by rapist; while others might have developed the resentment they have towards men from experiences they had from abusive and failed relationships. But these are never enough justification for their hostile tendencies towards men. Because I also observed that majority of these women deliberately joined the feminist group so as to garner support and approval for their sordid lifestyle. Hmm. An intending husband who wishes to maintain his sanity and also enjoy his oldage must flee from such category of women. My reasons for this submission is as follows:
1. A Feminist Is A Terrible Mother: Feminists deliberately raise their children to undermine father's authority. The husband only becomes a good father if he always provides whatever the mother and the children demand. The day he fails to provide or he gives an excuse, he instantly becomes an slowpoke.
2. A Feminist Don't Attach Importance To Marriage: to be continued...Mod in house, please push it to front page.

I decided to make this article public as a result of the increasing cases of divorce in our present day society.
First and foremost, who is a feminist? She is a female gender who dogmatically believes that she ought to always have her ways irrespective of the consequences or outcomes of her actions and inactions. These are group of people with warped definition of morality. To them, morality is subjective. They have no regard for God's ordinance; they lack empathy and are very toxic. Being a scrupulous woman to them, is viewed as being weak, wretched or being mentally imprisoned. Their hatred for the male folks is unimaginable. The only link between them and the masculine gender is sex and money. Nothing more. I repeat nothing more; not even children.
But to be fair to them, I will like to emphasize that these group of women were not born with these self-destructive tendencies. The society made them the monsters they are today, not all of them anyway.
From careful observations and analysis, I got to realize that some of them were products of broken homes; some have been molested by rapist; while others might have developed the resentment they have towards men from experiences they had from abusive and failed relationships. But these are never enough justification for their hostile tendencies towards men. Because I also observed that majority of these women deliberately joined the feminist group so as to garner support and approval for their sordid lifestyle. Hmm. An intending husband who wishes to maintain his sanity and also enjoy his oldage must flee from such category of women. My reasons for this submission is as follows:
1. A Feminist Is A Terrible Mother: Feminists deliberately raise their children to undermine father's authority. The husband only becomes a good father if he always provides whatever the mother and the children demand. The day he fails to provide or he gives an excuse, he instantly becomes an slowpoke.
2. A Feminist Don't Attach Importance To Marriage: to be continued...[color=#006600][/color]

My friend, do not destroy the blessing God has given you because of mere fantasy. Body stature is just a thing of the mind so is sexual fantasy. If you can work on your mindset by shifting your focus from those so-called hot figure, your marriage will be heaven on Earth.

[quote author= post Are you sure that the Nigeria economy is depressed? I thought you said your darling daddy has made Nigeria a Utopia. Hmmm..

[quote author=Dropme post=107109812]Hello nairalanders,

Sorry for bringing such a Story here, but I just feel like getting advises and opinions.

I'm a young single father of one.

I have been the one taking care of my son since his mother left us for a worldly adventure since 4 months ago. But ever since I took over the baton to become the child keeper or nanny or whatever name u could call it, I have never noticed this child fart. Get like three seeds of Calabash nutmeg, grind and mix with water then heat and allow to cool . Give it to the child to drink.