₦airaland Forum

franchasng:
He will if the woman is bringing as much goodies as this white lady brought to him, but unfortunately our Nigerian sisters hardly do this; there are plenty of them doing very well financially abroad, single to the core but to go back to Nigeria to marry one struggling young man and help his destiny and also help her own, they will rather die single and lonely abroad and waste that western citizenship and opportunities God gave to them which they ought to use to help other people's lives too, black women are too stingy honestly, I am sorry to say this

Some have done this but the struggling men dump them when they find their feet abroad because the intention from onset was not pure.
Even the black men marrying these older "out-of-shape" white women also have ulterior motives .
It's not out of sincerity

Winnerfx:
You sound so bitter towards women. Why? You don't even sound like a man who would support a lady to uphold her virtue... Rest let real men who know how to protect women talk

Men like him promote sex on first date and patronise pros.titutes .. That's why he is so bitter and obsessed about a woman's body count to the point that it affected his mental health.

So who are the women getting married to every weekend?

What's the significance of a wedding ring?
Mtcheeeeeeew

Humblesam:
I believed when you left, you didn't ask us the amount you had in your possession and besides different strokes for different folks.
What worked for you back then might not work for him right now.
Have a bro who recently did same to same UK but now he's crying and regretting after selling off properties he worked so hard to acquire back then.
Reading motivational lines on Nairaland from even those that haven't even traveled outside Nigeria in their dreams fooled him into taking that regrettable decision that he's yet to recover from.
Europe is not finding it funny this period, it might have worked during yours but let him make findings. Europe is tough right now.

I didn't just wake up and decide to relocate because I had money.No! It took me 4 years of planning which involved writing 3 exams.. 1 in Lagos, 1 in Ghana and 1 in the UK (I visited for 2 weeks) ,returned to Nigeria,got my licence and applied for jobs.
It was not easy but it was worth it.

Relocating overseas is not completely a wrong move..It depends on what one is going to do there.
And Yes! If I hadn't left Nigeria and I have 100million now,I will still sit ,plan ,take the necessary exams ,pass them ,get a job and Japa.
I will not stay in Nigeria for any reason.

Humblesam:
This mentality of most of our people when it comes to "Abroad" dey vex me.
I think Govt should make sure educate and set stringent and very uncomfortable rules and regulations that will help reduce the influxes of our abroad.
How can someone with 30 million naira be thinking like this? Just because you want to be seen as " Onye Abroad" while your mate with such amount of cash are secretly cashing out living big here in Nigeria.
You would end frustrated after squandering that money in Europe and before you know it, we would be reading different embarrassing news about Nigerians continually messing up the name of this country.
Can't you people stay put in your country and save yourselves some dignity, then you can travel out for fun?

If I had not left Nigeria when I did,even if I have 100 million now, I would leave Nigeria.

richgang:
Hello everyone, if you have the opportunity to choose between using 30 Million naira to relocate to UK or to stay back in Nigeria and invest the 30 Million Naira . Which would be your preferred option?

Depends on what you are travelling to do in UK.
If you are relocating on a work visa, excellent.
If on a student visa, 30 million is small.. Be ready to suffer but the end will be worth it.

What a shame to the family of the girl.
Your daughter you sent to school dying in a man's house after sex and pictures all over the internet.
What manner of everlasting pain and disgrace.

Some people no just get luck for the same thing that others do and get away with.

These days, young men use all manner of drugs to knack ladies mercilessly so as to brag about sexual prowess.

drstranged:
Disvirgining a girl shouldn't be a criteria for marriage

But being a virgin should be a criteria for marriage.

Deflowered 2 ladies but he will end up not marrying any of them because of plenty entanglements.

Yet he will still judge women harshly and shame them with body count

Sonnobax15:
Not all me tho,cuz personally, majority of my friends are females and I do get a lot of help of them,and had never for once fantasied going into relationship with them or sleeping with them. So it all depends on the personality of the male werey in question.

It's not nice.
I remember when I relocated newly, I was living alone.
I got the services of a painter , a Nigerian brother.
He did a great job, I was impressed.He was on a student visa and I felt giving him a tip wasn't a bad idea. I also made him lunch.
I had nothing in mind.
After that, I started receiving unnecessary late night messages from him.
And on two occasions, he came to the house at odd hour, claiming he came to greet me.
As how? For what?
Simply because I was kind enough to give him food and tip.
One day, I gave him a piece of mind and told him he should respect my space especially as I am married(though my husband was yet to join me). This guy looked at me and boldy said "It does matter.I am married too. my wife still dey Naija".

Sonnobax15:

She's a good customer and dashing you extra money is her own way of encouraging your hustle. No be everything una suppose to dey look from a relationship point of view.

Men always take kindness, politeness and support from women as invitation for relationship and an opportunity to sleep with her.

No amount of money can make me return to Nigeria.

Well, different strokes for different folks.

I can cook but I do not like to cook often, especially because I'm a busy person.

I do the bulk cooking and store.
My husband helps with prepping day to day meals like boiling rice,spag, heating up soups/stews. He also preps quick meals especially for the kids.

There is no woman who can not cook.
It's actually very easy to cook in recent times.

obiekunie01:
I see all my wife's test results for all her pregnancies. Am I not the one paying for it?
In fact, I go with her in all her doctor's visits thru out all her pregnancies.

I dey inside with her as she dey see her doctor.

Even during delivery, I DEY FOR THE DOOR DEY PEEP IN EVERY 30 MINUTES. IN ALL HER DELIVERIES. AND ONCE I HEAR MY BABY'S CRY, I GO INSIDE sharperly TILL ALL THE CLEANING IS DONE, I HOLD MY BABY. I NO WAN HEAR STORIES THAT TOUCH THE HEART.

If your wife has HIV, you will not see her test results. Lol
So be calming down
Doctor will even tell you to step aside while he or she discusses with your wife , in order to maintain confidentiality.
There are sensitive things you don't discuss in front of a patient's spouse or relatives without the consent of your patient.
I want to ask a woman if she has had an abortion before? I will simply tell her husband to excuse us and he will step out for few minutes. I will get all the information I need and then he can return.

lagonovo:
Frankly from what you have described I don't see how marriage makes you more vulnerable.

What you call wife in a marriage is the equivalent of your main girlfriend while single. If you and your main girlfriend are into infidelity, how is your situation less vulnerable?

People who are unmarried can decide to be celibate or insist on condoms .
Marriage ? The peak of your vulnerability.

Adexvivacity:
You are right on not collecting gift from men sha.....No free lunch actually but those werey girls out there now are ready to collect tfare from multiple guys and not show up. They are actually broke and thats the reason....Their background is the reason for their back always touching ground cos they keep collecting.

And because the men want to have sex, they keep spending.
That's why practising financial celibacy as a man is almost impossible except you are ready to practise sexual celibacy too.

obiekunie01:
You dey mind them with their nonsense social media stories.

They forget that for every pregnancy, hospitals run full test on the pregnant mother and attach the result in her file. so he is telling us that he never cared to look at his wife's test results.

Him don kill him wife take HIV story cover am.

He cannot look at his wife's files.
Patient's medical records are strictly confidential.
Nigeria does not operate a proper partner notification system like here in the UK.
In Nigeria, if a man or woman does not disclose their status to their partners, their partners may never get to know

lagonovo:
Hmmm interesting take but my personal opinion is that married people into infidelity tend to be stricter with protection knowing fully well that any infection would have higher consequences. Single guys can treat themselves secretly and simply be unavailable but that's not a breeze with married folks.

The reality is that a greater percentage of people do not use protection.
Married men are impregnating their side chics and rubbing it on their wives' faces. The side chics also have their boyfriends and their boyfriends are sleeping with other women.

Married women are getting pregnant and bringing home illegitimate children for their husbands.

People who indulge in infidelity do not use protection EVERYTIME or even properly.
If you indulge in unprotected sex, you are at the mercy of your partner.
Marriage will always make you vulnerable.

Parizz:
so if he gave u money, you would open the gate

I will not collect his money because I will not open gate.

akaahs:
Ogah sef was not sharp. He should seen the signs during breastfeeding na as no hiv victim is allow breastfeed her baby.

That's not true .
HIV positive women can have vaginal delivery and breastfeed their babies, just like other women who are negative.
Why won't she breastfeed her baby? Who go breastfeed am?

IronCondemned:
All these Internet LIES is annoying. They met in 2017 and had 3 kids.

His medical expenses.....which medication are you talking about because the last time I checked that medication is 110% free of charge.

She probably had complications and was in and out of hospital.
Only ARVs are free.. Treatment of complications is not free

erniok:
Care to share how status changes after marriage if fidelity is one of the foundations of such marriage.

That's if fidelity is the foundation.
Infidelity is very common now.
While men do theirs openly and brag about it because society doesn't shame them for it , women do theirs in secret.
That's the difference.

erniok:
Not only winners, even the Roman Catholic and anglican communion.

Wonder where they wedded.

After wedding, people still contract HIV.
A lot of people, even..
Infidelity is on the rise.
Men and women are committing adultery all over.
If you are using protection while single, marriage will make you vulnerable.

babzo:
How do you know that? Anyone taking their medicine regularly can no longer infect another person. Infact, after about a year, their tests will also be negative; but they still have the virus.

With medications,the tests will stay positive but their viral load will be undetectable, hence the risk of infecting others through unprotected sex is low.

Smitaro100:
Why will you marry a woman without going for hiv test in the first place.. dsame way U check for genotype na same for hiv status.

Status can change after marriage.
Married people get infected with HIV and even more cos they don't practise safe sex.

If you know the number of married people in their 40-70s taking antiretrovirals ehn.

I didn't fear STDs until I got married.
Marriage makes you vulnerable

budaatum:
Did she infect him, is what I wonder!

And what's the status of his children?

The man will likely be infected
But the children will not be cos of PMTCT program.

Tenses:
Just for a second imagined that it was the man that hid his hiv status from his wife.

Everywhere for don scattter

Siren go dey blow 'waawuu waawuu'

Efcc, ndlea, nafdac, nta, ait, olopa, prison warders, feminist and SIMPle men no go let his spirit rest.

But since she's a woman everywhere quiet even some SIMPle men dey even blame am.

From my experience, men hardly hide their HIV status from their partners.. Women are better at that. Some turn their tablets into plain bottles and hide them in the kitchen where the husbands hardly get to.They turn the baby's medications into multivitamin containers such that even when they give the child in front of the husband,he will think it's just baby's multivitamin syrup/drops.

If a man has tested positive to HIV, and he is counselled to disclose his status to his wife, the likelihood that he will do so is almost 100% .If he cannot bring himself to tell her, he usually will ask for assistance to help him break the news to his wife.
But women would rather take the secret to their grave.
Why? Because a woman will not leave a marriage and abandon a man because he has HIV ..
But men? Immediate divorce and abandonment.
Many women will even behave as if HIV doesn't exist just to live in denial and continue with their husbands until the she also gets infected.


A woman will even agree to marry a man who is sick but men do not marry sick women.
Men are very reasonable people.
Women marry men with diabetes, hypertension, Sickle cell anaemia, HIV, cancer, etc but men? They will immediately end the relationship and look for a healthy woman to marry.

ezedora:
Na why things no fit dey better be this. You should be able to take whatever you're dissing out. If you're willing to be celibate, then do it all round. Thanks and God bless.

Lol.
You dey mind them?
They want to eat their cake and have it.
All round celibacy is perfect
No sex, no spending.

Parizz:
so because he didn't spend, you refused to give him sex, that shows you don't love him

We were not married, hence he was not entitled to sex.
Same as I was not entitled to his money.

Which one is love now?
Logic over emotions!

Adexvivacity:
There was this friend of mine that lost his job and things were somehow for him....I would give him tfare back home anytime i called him out for hanging out....Its only when ladies or anybody wanna manipulate me that i wont give....Me I give tfare o except the lady is rude....Even some urgent 2k aint sin cos it could be me as well.

Well, for me, no free gift from men.
My mum warned me at 15, not to collect things from a man if I know I will not sleep with him.
And she was right.
Men feel entitled to sex once they begin spending ..if the woman rejects his advances,he will get angry and remind her she has been collecting from him