₦airaland Forum

B2Spirits:
Whose fault can it be that this idîot has been contemplating suicide? Are you sure you are not a product of sodomy? Did you fall down from your mother's back while you were an infant? The answer is obvious; such a baby is cursed for life. It's a pity that your mother will soon weep over you, because at this rate, you can only end up in the lagoon, or butchered by ritual killers. If you are not used for ritual, what purpose will a dunderhead serve in life? If Dangote's truck refuses to chop you into beef-like paste, of what value is a vagabond in a sane society? Keep the jealousy alive while you last, oloriburuku omo.

B2Spirits:
How could God bless you with idïocy? The time and age in which you wrote SSCE is now a measure of success? You are a waste of a human!

B2Spirits:
Clap for yourself, oponu. Lagoon fate awaits you.

An0nimus:
Spy360, sod09 wetin una think? Make we change am?

B2Spirits:
This is a proof that Christianity itself is a joke. Where is Holy Spirit?

maidaboi:
no because they are bad like iwobi and moses

lordfalcao:
Conte please get us Sanchez!!!!

B2Spirits:
I made my first public speech when I was 15, and in JSS2. That was in a debate activity, a contest between SS3 and SS2 students. The competitors failed to impress our English language teachers. This made the teachers lambaste the senior students, and asked if junior students had anything to say.

Like our proverbial Akpos, I walked out of the crowd with that gait suggestive of a clown's shameful confidence, and consequently threw my classmates into uncontrollable laughter. Their action was understandable, because I had hitherto paraded myself as a newscaster, who, during one of my comic sessions, had aired the news in which a commercial airplane caught fire in space, and no one was injured in the slightest.

They couldn't think of it that I had taken the debate topic to my uncle, who was a teacher. He wrote a nice argument for me, and I rehearsed it with fervour. I unleashed such a mastery that dazed everyone present.

Having tasted the thrill of the achievement, I started gathering resources on public speaking, and Mark Twain, Napoleon Hill later became my heroes. I trained myself more on the speech strategies that give pastors the hedge over their contemporaries. At 20, having led prayer sessions on many occasions in my local church, our pastor informed me that God has called me into the five-fold ministry with pastoral calling.

While in the university, I read works from great people like Plato and Socrates, and consequently discarded my Christian ideals entirely. It was then I explored Satanism and other faiths until I concluded that I'm the god I've been looking for all these while.

As an animal scientist, I lost interest in that field, and was looking for a job that has to do with public speaking until an advertisement was made for the post of a chaplain in a psychiatric hospital. Certification was required, diploma in theology would suffice. I have nothing of that nature, but flaunted my two-time pastoral experience in two of the largest churches in Nigeria.

I sat down alone, and all questions the interviewers -- all Reverends -- would likely ask me came into my subconscious mind in flashes.

"Why do you want to work as a pastor, knowing full well this job should not be based on ambition?" The organization's president began.

"I understand that God seeks three kinds of people. They are the sinners, people after His own heart (like David) and those that will stand in the gap and pray. By 'election', I fall into the third category", I replied, citing Ezekiel 22:30.

"The moment you read our advert, how did you feel in your body?" Another reverend fired.

"That still small voice from the Holy Spirit made it clear to me that I'm needed here", I answered, having read Benny Hinn's The Anointing, Kenneth E. Hagin's Holy Spirit and His Gifts, and Yonggi Cho's Holy Spirit My Senior Partner.

"If you are given the post, you will be liable to insults or assaults by our psychiatric patients from time to time. Will you be able to handle this?"

"I have worked before in a farm where we had a cow suffering from madcow disease. You would not need to be told that the flaccid disposition the horned herbivore was known for had deserted it. I wouldn't see the attacking cow as a traducer. I only have to be wary of the zoonotic form of madcow disease, which we in animal science call variant Creutzfeldt Jacob Disease(vCJD). In our case here, not all clinical cases are natural, and with my authority as a believer, I will put to flight the armies of the aliens. This will be done by faith, because 'By faith, the elders obtained good reports'", I answered.

Smiles and giggles rented the whole room as the clergymen almost lifted up their 'holy hands in worship.'

"How much are you willing to accept as your salary? Can you work for God free of charge, knowing full well that He made you for this purpose?"

With split-second precision, I quoted ICorinthians 9:13 and said, "'Do you not know that those who labor in the Temple are provided for from the Temple, and those who serve the altar share in the altar?' Having reeled out this Scripture, I don't have to explain it for my betters in faith."

I was given the appointment letter the following day. Other theologians interviewed told me how they threw questions pertaining to theology at them, but 'my case was different.'

I will be showing you hidden public speaking rules personalized to suit various individuals and my personal experience in my next write-ups. To succeed in public speaking, you need to believe you are the only living thing on earth, while all other things are robots. That means you take responsibility for your failure to thrill the crowd of accolades and hangers-on.

http://speakersspell..com/2017/03/how-i-held-pastors-spellbound-during.html?m=1

joeace2020:
Lmao!! Arsenal fans and the Club as a whole na comedy. From discussing how to sell the full team to color chart as criteria for transfers... Gosh this comedy only gets better, it continues this weekend

Elnino4ladies:
Arsenal fans discussing colors of players LMAO



who color epp?

sod09:
Ibrahimovic Is Still good
we have Kane, Costa,dis Napoli Guy, bellotti Is coming up
dude my point is black lack consistent only Eto'o was among d best cf den

sod09:
yes black av fighting spirit but technically europeans are even better Dan south Americans. Lukaku is a troll a big one same wit auba Nd Lacazette
I'm talking bout every week goals not the one dat Will score hattrick today Nd till next month

jayned:
My Caucasian puppies are 4 weeks old today. Yahoo! The rubber rings have all fallen off and today, they all ate from their bowl with minimal mess. The have been looking very dirty with caked food and poop I guess eeewww. So they had their first spot bath we used warm water, mild dog shampoo, a soft brush and towel. They looked a lot better though not spotless cos we didn't wanna scrub them too much.

sod09:
no way...black are worst sef,will prefer black in DM or CB
no offense I'm also black
south American or European for me

Brian109:
You are suggesting a 90cm Right? And was I using the correct frequency ,and does it matter which decoder I use?

Brian109:
Thanks for your reply, your information really helped I appreciate,I didn't manage to nail eutelsat 16E though.I was using this frequency 10804 and SR, 30000 with a 60cm dish,I spent the all day without success, I could see signals showing but wasn't scanning any channels . I want to be watching channels like ORTB TV ,RTB TV, canal 2 English. I wasn't using a strong decoder
What was I doing wrong? Please help me I beg .My regards to anyone reading. Brian from Zambia

Neymar1095:
Giroud is fucking slow. auba should be a top target

Neymar1095:
Arsenal need a world class striker and midfieders. benzema or icardi and verrati or thiago.

sod09:
i stop insulting giroud since euros,he no good he win silver boot

DutchNegro:
20months old

sod09:
giroud is not dat bad oo
it's wengay fault, see his style of playing in France where he av a partner, all dese players listed will adapt to a new manager
Wenger is d problem