Jewessgratitud3:
Right now she needs advice on what to do and I'm also going to be sharing what I have advised her so far.

This man has used his foolishness to implicate my sister and their lovely kids. Before I go into details of what happened recently, I'll like to give a quick backstory of how all these came to be and how she even got herself into this mess

Backtrack to 2014 when she broke the news that someone was coming to see the family for her hand, I asked her who the person was but she refused to tell me saying I'll meet him when he comes. I was now like ha... This one you're hiding it. I never knew it was one useless guy that was living in our former area in the early 2000s that all he does then was stand at junctions disturbing girls. He also disturbed me one period like that and I so much dislike him because of his behavior plus he's fair and I dont fancy fair guys.

The day came and we started cooking. Already I had gotten a hint from my eldest sister that it's the guy and I said was that why she was hiding it? What's my own there. We move. As the day was approaching, my idowus husband called and told me to warn my sister that that guy she's pulling with is not it. That if she's trying to have something serious with him she'll be making a big mistake. I said, she's an adult and can make choices for herself.


He came with his people and we did everything and she moved in with him. Now, this guy doesn't do anything. He claims he's a lawyer but never goes to work. Most times he'll go for early morning training by 6am and after everyone has gone to work, he'll come home and be sleeping. initially my sister was covering him up that he's doing something but anytime I visit after school, I'll always meet him at home sleeping. I knew my sis was just covering him.

Before they married my sister owned a school that was doing well. After her first child the school was still doing well but they started having issues because she was the one bearing most of the financial burden in the house. Sometimes she would come to school with bruises on her face. Since she refused to talk, me I didn't bother asking because if I do she'll bark at me.it continue like that until she could no longer bear it and started opening up to me that the guy doesn't do anything. Just goes about from one junction to the other.

She took in for her second child and fell sick. The school suffered mismanagement and folded up. That was when the guy showed her his true color. They fought to the extent she left her kids and went to my sister's house. My elder sisters husband settled them and she went back.

She had her third child and the guy started his madness again. This time he would leave them and go for hours without food. When he's coming at night he'll buy food and call his children to come eat and leave my sister hungry. So anytime I go there I'll just find her something to eat. Sometimes not always.
The day I said enough is enough and decided to pull her out of that nonsense was the day she called me, I was in a bus and she said for two days now she has not eaten anything and she's having headache. That the guy said he'll deal with her. I told her to hold on and sent her the little I could that I'll come and see her.

I got there and told her she can't continue like this . I told her to start following me to school to learn how to do what I'm doing and I'll be giving her small small daily pay any day she goes with me and later she can start sourcing for her own schools and be making her own money. I put her through and took her to a school immediately and assigned her to some classes after watching me for a few mins.

We did that for a few weeks and I was giving her the small thing I could after each day. She started going out to look for schools and two schools called her. She now said she can't be following me again , I said no problem. God helped her, She now got more schools and started selling books too and making money.
When this guy saw it, he left feeding and only buys food for the children once in a while. Meanwhile their fighting continued.

Fast-forward to last year, the landlord called my sister that he has given the husband quit notice, not because he was owing but because he was always disrespecting the landlord. My sister tried to plead but he said it's not because of my sister but the husband. Now this guy's is so troublesome and brags a lot. He quarrels with the landlord a lot and always goes against the rules of the compound. I on the other hand have been telling my twin now that she has the money to get her own apartment and leave the lazy thing but she remained there.


Last two weeks Tuesday. during that heavy downpour, the landlord came with some police men and threw their things out in the rain as she was preparing her children for school. It was one of the police men that now had pity on her and said they should leave the things in the compound instead of throwing outside in the rain and helped my sister to bring then inside the gate. The husband ran away. After everything he called my sister to bring the children somewhere. When she got there it was a friend's house. He begged them to let his family stay the night and till now he's still there. I told my sister, shey I've been warning you about this guy. Bett look for a place and move in before this one's change their mind. Could you believe this man continued his laziness there? When everyone has gone out he'll go there and start sleeping till they come back from work and meet him. My sister said he has started quarrelling the man's wife . Someone who's squatting you you're challenging them.

he's talking about moving them to Mowe but my sister is not buying the idea and says she wants to get an apartment here on the mainland because of her job and move with only her children but I'm of the opinion that she should leave the children with him because if she goes with the children he'll run from his responsibility and never pay their school fees again.

What should she do because the guy travelled for his brothers burial now and the owner of the house was heard asking the wife why the guy and my sister are still in their house and said let him come back first . Meaning they are tired.

I've told her to get an apartment now o.

Your sister don tie big stone to her leg o. You’re advising her to quit marriage as if it is even easy with the type of man she is with. Like like this, make your sis lock up and bear responsibilities of her decision. If the physical assault continues, she should divorce him legally and prepare to care for the children herself.

That said, please don’t in anyway share the bad blood you have for this man on decisions for your sister, be holistic. I sense some of that in your story. He is the father of her kids and he is your sister’s husband. Also acknowledge your sister deserve to pay for some of her decisions as well. Don’t give a dog a bad name so you can hang it

AlphaHakimi:
My advise to this man is as follows
1) Don't ever sell your source of income to send your wife abroad.
2) Always know that she is in love with what you provide and not your personality.
3) Plan for your retirement, as you go out daily to provide for your family, remember you are part of that family and provide for yourself too.
4) If your wife places conditions before she sleeps with you, please place more stringent conditions before you provide.
5) Be prepared to walk away once the marriage no longer serves your purpose, your wife will walk away at the slightest opportunity. Don't worry about the kids, when they grow up they will understand.
6) Marriage is a world institution so be prepared to treat your marriage as such.
7) Your marriage should be transactional, anyday she relegates in her duties as a woman, you are justified to relegate in your own duties as a man.
Be formless like water, never be predictable.
9) Never let your wife draw you away from your parents or siblings. If you die, she will be more interested in the properties you left behind.
10) IT IS NOT YOUR DUTY TO PROVIDE LUXURY OR SOFT LIFE FOR YOUR WIFE. IF SHE WANTS ANY OF THOSE, SHE SHOULD GET A JOB.
11) If your wife works, please ensure that she contributes 50% of her earnings to the family needs. Don't say a man must provide EVERYTHING.

Lastly, I pray she is a GOOD AND KIND person and may Your marriage work out.

N:B Do not think I have given you bad advice, my aim is to ensure that you are not on the loosing side of this romantic transaction.

Shalom

Oversabi!!! Get something better to do with your life. See as you take time type unsolicited advice…
Who asked you all this.

Na wa for someone people 😅😅😅

Yankiss:
It's obvious that Kogi people need a fresh breath from the Yahaya Bello era. If that be Dino or the SDP candidate or even the APC candidate if he would later betray Bello, so be it. We need good governance in NIgeria.

Dino plant

NSNO:
I don't support Tinubu but floating the naira and removing subsidy was the best thing to do.
Alot of Nigerians don't understand how bad our economy is, they think its just to build roads and start farming etc.
Nigeria's economy needs a complete overhaul and the measures taken yet are just the beginning.
More hardship is on the way but like the saying the darkest hour is just before dawn, Nigeria's dawn is almost here, we just have to endure the darkness a little longer.

One hungry criminals will locate you someday. You Dey your house dey type nonsense. Atleast you don chop belle full this night ba

Looking4massage:
stop bullying naira marly. what if he commits suicide because of this bully and una later find out say no be him kill am?
stop this fucking rubbish.
so if u have issues with someone and the person dies monthly later , does it mean u killed him?

do you know how many people u have had issues with that have passed on? will it be right to say u killed them all?|??

You fit enter street talk this wan??

Oboto700:
you just Believed everything happens naturally... No worry

but things also do happen naturally, I am sure you also can't differentiate the difference better than I can do. I don't also think I may do better also.

it all boils down that we really don't know anything about somethings

Kobojunkie:
1. Exactly!

2. So? If any of those girls turns to report any of those men, that man will be regarded a rapist by Law and that tag will hopefully follow him for a very long time to come. The reason many of them don't come forward is ignorance. Once awareness is gained, many of those girls and there families will begin to bring to book all those men who do that.

3. That does not change what the Law states. Even if the girl dances naked on you, so long as she is underage, if you have sexual intercourse with her, you are a rapist by law. Nothing has changed about the Law. You just choose to feign ignorance of it so you can excuse your rape of kids.

stop sleeping with teenagers. simple
when you see a teenager, you know them.

Claiming ignorance of age is exactly whose fault and who should be held responsible?

lordnkem000:

Pls how is it rape? They had sex. U re just saying because it's a minor so it is judged as rape. Omo 97% of men will be jailed by ur assertions if things work like this na, because some girls of 16, 17 in the university re bleeped by men everyday ignorant of their age. In most cases na the girls dey carry the kpomo give the men.. things have changed in 2023 so these archaic laws needs to be amended

So you failed to ask a young girl(you're about to have sex with) about her age as full grown man you're. who exactly is to be held responsible.... ?? please help me out

jaeyking:
If the person responsible is above 18years
You could charge the person to court for statutory rape.

But are you ready to put your family and girl through that stress

If the person is below 18,
I will advice the person accepts the pregnancy but Ur friends family should take care of their daughter
Just to avoid cases of the girl been maltreated

But in all
Please don't pursue that girl
Take care of her and the pregnancy

Na una let rape reach this state o. Which one is do you want to pass through that stress?

Someone is sleeping with a minor and the next thing is to let him keep roaming and causing havoc

This man is a paedophiles, until the day he does it to an 8 years old you will want to start finding justice. My advice is let’s shun stigma and fight demon in our Society with all our might

ppogba:


Without trying to generalise, who amongst the children of nowadays from age 18 and above is not a cultist?

speak for yourself only

cjudy:
This is Yoruba Business. Abeg Nairaland e don do na. Allow this guy rest in peace na shuoooooo

tribal slowpoke

Peter532:
Hello all,
My dad immediate elder brother who went to south africa in the 90s is back to drag their parents property claiming to be the first son.

This is someone who after he travelled only came back once and never bothered about the affair's of the family.

Their father my grandfather died 2005 he was no where to be found. my grand mother died 2018 still nothing from him.

No contributions whatever even while their parents was still alive.

He cut all sort of communications with them and now he's back to lay claim on the properties.

The family is angry but some of the elders in the extended family are getting on is side claiming he's still the senior he was never disowned but they can't say it out though.

It's obvious he came back with almost nothing and felt laying claims on their parent property is the back up plan

No will was written and some of the old buildings has been reconstructed from the scratch by my father and yet someone is laying claim on it.

I will like to know how this will go because my father is ready to fight this with his last strength and we the children are firmly behind him

You father made a small mistake. He can’t renovate things that wasn’t shared. He was suppose to renovate only what belongs to him. Right now. Everyone must break even. Your father older brother can have his property but must pay every maintenance fee on that property or your father would leave it or remove the upgrade on those property. Eithers ways your father can’t gain it all

EmeeNaka:
mannerless and uncultured person you are. Chief Obasanjo is an outstanding leader.

see this rooster

Ikaeniyan0:
increasing the minimum wage to like 65k is not a chicken change.

you said across all board. Senate and men at the top would profit more. There is nothing senate are doing that we need to increase their wages

TechCapon:
una never tire for this matter? Una go milk this guy story dry. Yes, mohbad was oppressed but oppression did not kill him. I've never seen anyone who died of oppression before.

You dey smoke igbo, you dey take india hemp

Ikaeniyan0:
I.have no issue with increasing politicians salary, but every Nigerian salary should also be increase by 114%

If they increase chicken change of minimum wage. Who go gain?

You’re still under employed o.
What kind of night shift job is this?
So you want to change your body clock because of one night shift job.

You can’t cheat nature, first thing first is to sleep enough during the day. Sleep till you’re very fit. And well rested. If not then forget about any trick. Drug would only do damage if you over use it

Third is to get a headset and while working try not to sit in serenity for too long and engage in any agile activity time to time during work hour e.g playing games, watching comedy skit, tiktok etc

I wanted to ask, how do one know the kind of transcript a school would be needing, I am trying to search for Bedforshire university

Chetas81:
you to your own stage of life my friend use your left side to hell,I top my car yesterday at Anthony total filling station, eleriburuku citizen you did not supposed wake up this morning, you guys are misleading the citizen

person wey no even sabi type correct English, how I take sure say you even know Wetin topic dey talk.

Chetas81:
YOU MENTALLY ILL

you nor even sabi English

Jones90:
I hardly respond to people's post but this topic got my attention.

Just last weekend, a colleague of mine came to my office pleading that i should let her change her wears in my office and i asked her where is she going or what is she up to, this lady bluntly told me that she wants to go and f^ck a customer. Innocent me took it for a joke and laugh it off. But to my amusement, the lady change her wears sneak out so camera will not see her and took a bike beside the company to God knows where.

After an hour plus, she came back with some drinks and that was when it dawned on me cos i can see that she really went to f^ck but i still pretended not to know and i asked her where she went to. Lo and behold, the lady repeated what she earlier told me and even said why would she be lying to me. That will i beat her because she went to f^ck a customer. Saying the customer was sick and needed her presence to calm his naive. Till date it's still as if I'm dreaming.

Lolz it’s the bluntness I guess that took you off

Chetas81:
STOP POST NONSENSE AND STOP PUTTING FEAR ON PEOPLE, ERANKO CITIZEN

see Wetin your live don reduce to

Markapela77:
Bloggers and their unverified news… he was laying dead in the room from a second video posted… y’all get facts right, this is someone i knew from childhood… we went to school together from Kindergarten to Secondary school. It wasn’t a ritual killing, it was clearly a fight between both of em
Please let’s stop spreading information

What kind of fight to death is that?

togifon:
Looks like they fought, every na ritual for bloggers

You’re not well. Na sword fight Abi gun fight be that?

You can see a person died out of trauma and struggle with the suspect. You went ahead to say they fought.

You no wise at all

chukwuebuka65:


I have found the solution.

You can as well talk about the solution just so someone stumble on this thread in future

chukwuebuka65:
I have an endpoint that receives “content-type” of “application/json” but when I hit it from javascript, it returns a 415 unsupported media type status code. But When I use postman it works. So I inspected the network tab of dev tools and discovered the request headers content type is text/plain instead of the application/json I set it to be. Why is this happening ?

Set the content-type in JS. It’s most likely never the browser

Kobojunkie:
All this for what again? Guinness record recognition?

Mumu learn to read.

chukwuebuka65:


Ok. Thanks

If it’s about searching let’s say for e-commerce. Be sure to start considering elastic search or something of that nature. DB spool for advance search aren’t optimal

chukwuebuka65:
Which is better for performance ?

Performance in practical sense is not dependent on both of them. It’s about the actual query that eventually hit your db and how optimized is your db against such query. So use telescope to see the actual query that eventually gets to the DB