₦airaland Forum

It is very unusual for me to have two thoughts on this thread on the same day but I really have to speak on this. My trip to Nigeria last Christmas really opened my eyes to a lot of things, both good and bad. I laughed till tears came pouring down from my eyes, I balled my fist in anger, I held my heart in pity, but most of all, I gained so much more pride for who I am and the nation I represent. But with my new found self identity came a lot of responsibility. It seems that the majority of people living in Nigeria see America as "greener pastures" and there is some truth to it; there are more opportunities in the U.S but the more I think about it, the more obvious it is to me that the reason why Nigeria isn't progressing, in the speed it should be, is because so many Nigerians have abandoned her. They have left her in the hands of the greedy. Every bone in me wants to fight for her and when people ask me why I just say, "If I don't, who will?"

We in America are given so much but we take it for granted. Why is it so hard for us to give back? What we give does not always have to be free. There is so much money in Nigeria that the banks don’t know what to do with it. Nigeria has oil, and an abundance of natural resources, all she asks is that she may looks as wealthy as she is. We let other nations come and drain us and then blame the poor for the increasing crime rates. There is such a giant gap between the rich and poor, but if people come back, come together and say let’s open businesses, let’s create jobs, and let’s not wait on the Government to fix our streets and electricity, when we start to form productive communities, we will be watering the seeds of progress. There is so much I want to do for Nigeria, So much I wish I could do and though I am only one person…"If I don't, who will?"

All Black people, both male and female, owe it to themselves to dedicate some of their time to an African country. Africans are used to seeing White people giving their time to help them whether it is building a well or constructing a building, but it seems to be a rare occasion to see Blacks physically helping them. If you don't do it…who will?

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Cristalz:
Dude. . .shez really got your head messed up real bad

This is the most twisted,contradictory write-up I have read in a long long time

My bad. . .

Why do people cheat?

Well I did some research (as if enough research hasn't been done) and it seems that many times it’s either dissatisfaction in a relationship, an easy way out of a relationship, or just the thrill/rush of being bad. I was talking to a good friend of mine on Saturday and he was complaining that he had been having sex with the same girl for a year. I congratulated him and tried to explain to him why it was a good thing, but he yelled “No… I want something different.” It is not that she was bad in bed because according to him, she is great. It is not that he doesn’t like her anymore because he is still head over heels for her. So, maybe sometimes we get scared of what seems like a routine and so we yearn for change. Well, no matter what the reason is nothing good comes from cheating.

Dear Cheaters,

What happens in the dark will always come to light!!! I can’t stand how some hide behind the excuse of “I don’t want to be with him/her it’s you I want, I just don’t know how to tell him/her” OR “I just need time right now to sort things out, I don’t know what I want.” You know exactly what you want!!! So make a decision and stick with it. I believe that in doing so, it actually helps you build your character, and gives you more credibility in life; credibility you will need when you are actually innocent and are being accused of infidelity. If not for that reason, do it so that when you look in the mirror, you can say to yourself, “I am a good person”, not a decent person or an okay person, but good.

I won’t lie, my record is not squeaky clean, but I learned from my mistakes. I learned that it is hard work dating two people at once and that karma is a mean bitch! (lol). What I realized is that we miss out on so much when we fear to commit. I have mistreated some good girls and sometimes I wish I could take it back but I can’t.

But if you’re going to cheat, please don’t get caught!!! Don’t go sleeping around with someone who will announce it to everyone that he/she is sleeping with you BECAUSE THAT’S HOW YOU GET CAUGHT DUMMIES!!

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Dear Cheated,

It sucks to be cheated on. I think it’s worse for a guy because we usually guard our hearts like a prison. So once a guy lets a girl in and she ends up cheating on him, the next chick is looking at doing hard time just to get visiting hours. Women don’t deal with being cheated on too well either. They cry for long periods of time, hate us, love us again, hate us again, get depressed, love us again, cry some more and like that, the cycle continues. In the end though, like the men do, they bottle it in and then punish the next guy. Honestly, everyone has his or her way of dealing with it. Find what way is best for you and time will do the rest.

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To “The Other”

It sucks when you don’t know you are the other. What really pisses me off is when it’s all out on the table, and the cheater tries to say, “Don’t act like you didn’t know I have someone…” It is their sick and twisted way of making the innocent other start to second guess himself and feel stupid. It is such a low blow…but I can’t lie, it’s pretty effective yet wrong.

But when you know you’re the other, it’s such a complicated position because no one will understand it from your perspective. No one. Even your friends will look at you like you’re a home wrecker. It’s even worse when you’ve gotten yourself attached to the person and you begin to believe “He/she loves me more” or “He/she will leave him/her for me eventually” Here is a news flash for you, if he/she was planning on leaving her/him, he/she would have by now. So be smart and do yourself a favor, leave while you still have your dignity OR just don’t get attached. Be the other for one-week tops. Any longer and it’s a relationship. Just because it worked for Angelina-Jolie doesn’t mean it will work for you!!

I have said too much already.

I like the little debate going on I called it the road less traveled because I have traveled less on that route instead I use the route that always leads me to her. True, both roads lead me home but the "road less traveled" takes me away from her thus making me retain my sanity.

I hope that makes sense Thanks for all your comments.

Cristalz:
What keeps a man's mind immature is the archaic belief that ''man is superior to all and must never be questioned''. Immature men don't even care about whether there exists a key to a woman's heart. . .it's all about them.

The thing called Ego is a blessing and a curse to men. . .how well it is managed goes a long way in determining the level of maturity/immaturity in a man.

I see where you're coming from. That makes sense but I think I'd tag that as utter ignorance.

ocho cinco:
wetin this boy dey feel like sef. . . .

E dey try attract girls with all this deep deep bullshit. . .

Ladies. . make una no mind am o. . , He is prolly a woman beater

I'm sorry I make you feel that insecure. It's all good though, I can't trip off that.

In the midst of my busy work life last week, I had a conversation with a female co-worker in her mid 40’s. As she recapped her youth and all the past relationships she went through, she stopped and looked and me and said with a sincere smile, “I truly do love my husband, when he came into my life it felt like I pushed the easy button. No bullshit, no games and all I could think was, wow this is how a relationship should be. . . ” As she went on telling her love story, all I could do was look in wonder, what exactly is the easy button? Then it dawned on me, a man’s maturity is a woman’s easy button.

Men come across maturity as if it were another form of puberty. Some get it early, and others get it much. . . much later. I could only presume it begins when a man wakes up one day and realizes that he is missing out on the best parts of life. Without maturity, a man will never be ready for a relationship and the women in their lives will find it continuously hard to get them to commit.

All men aren’t the same. A mature man isn’t perfect, but what sets him apart from the rest is that he owns up to his faults and shows not only in his words but also in his actions his press for change.

Now, what keeps a man’s mind immature? I believe it’s the illusion of greatness – the belief that looks, education and money is the key to a woman’s heart. I don’t want to be misunderstood because I know women love it when a man has got everything going for him, but I'm sure the ladies would agree with me when I say that there is no beauty in the relationship when the man's character is a spoiler.

As the conversation with the woman came to an end she mentioned that she had been married to her husband for 19 years and the love was still beating strong. “ I’ve been through a lot before my husband, I mean we were young, but he was mature for his age and I thank God for that. I remember when he came over to my desk to ask me out on a date…we haven’t been apart ever since”

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