₦airaland Forum

A mans occupation
is 2 stick his coqulation
up a womens ventalation
2 increase the population
of the younger generation
if ya wanna demonstration
please lie down

A woman goes to a doctor & said: doctor! can u make another hole near my v---na?
Dr: why?
woman: business is doing good, so i'm planning to open a new branch

Man: please give me black colour condom
shopkeeper:why black colour condom?
man:my friend's dead so i want to share the sadness with his wife tomorrow night

A baby boy & baby girl making bath in bath tab.
baby Girl saw down of boy and asked.
can i touch your peen,
OH NO NEVER.
you have already broken your own

BCuZiMBlaCk:
U just dey finish work dey go. Carry on

Yea bro.This would help some people through their day today

A Nurse come in Doc's Room.
Docs Asks: Why is ur one Boob out of ur Shirt?
Nurse ans:
Oh! These medical students never keep the things at place after use.

Teacher: What r the people of Turkey called?
Student: I don't know.
Teacher: They r called Turks, now What r the people of Germany called?
Student: They r called Germs

woman:"last night i dreamt of u buying me a diamond necklace"
man:"tonight, go to sleep and enjoy wearing it"

A man on wife's BIRTHDAY had no money,so he sent a cheque 100 kisses.When he returned home his wife said
"THANKS 4 the CHEQUE I GOT IT CASHED 4M BANK MANAGER"

Newtons Law of Romance
LOVE CAN NEITHER BE CREATED NOR BE DESTROYED,
IT CAN ONLY BE CHANGED FROM ONE GIRL FRIEND TO ANOTHER

A boy in love with a girl, continues to be in love with her and a girl in love with a boy, continues to be in love with him, until or unless
any external agent(brother or father of the gal) comes into play and break the legs of the boy.

The rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy is directly proportional to the instantaneous bank balance of the boy and the direction of this love is same to as increment or decrement of the bank balance.

Teacher:"Can anyone give me an example of Coincidence?"
Johnny:"Sir, my mother and father got married on the same day same time."

Girlfriend:Are you sure you love me and no one else?
Boyfriend:Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday

adeibi:
Can QC old girls join in the conversation?

You guys can create yours.But we have always been allies so you are welcome to join

Balogun was the principal during my time and i ended with ojemuyiwa 2nd term ss3 with ojemuyiwa.i must say that Balogun really changed things in kc during his tenure both in academics,sports,structure etc.
I learnt kc is old glory now and things have changed.I really enjoyed my stay in kc and i loved interhouse sport so much.i was in mckee-wright and we won almost all the time i was there.
Up KC.long live Kcoba

http:
What do you expect from women, whereby majority are caried away be the smallest changes, 26 years marriage gone down the drain.

I know many women will do same to their man if same happen.

I hate to say this, Dog are reliable and will stay by you in time of trouble than many women in this world, its all they want to get from you and that all, women are generally drawn to with the thinking of WHAT CAN A MAN OFFERS HER, this world is a wasteful adventure for man.

I pray that God in his infinite mercy will look upon the man and all men going thru this difficulties, amen. I don't know why MEN are unfortunate in this world when it comes to the issue of women.

Anyway, like the scriptures says" Your Wife and Children cannot make you happy" its only the Creator that can make a man happy, women chasing Vanity, immagine after 4 children.

spyder880:
^^^ natural born cheats, like programmed to cheat from creation? Then its not their fault then!

Abi

Parents yea owing to some reasons. Inlaw no way

Thought for the Days!!!
if you call your mother as MUM,
What will you call Mother's younger
sis and elder sis?
Answer : MINMUM & MAXIMUM


Alrite to be continued on Monday.Love you all

STUDENT: But I don't think I deserve a zero on this exam.
TEACHER: Neither do I, but it's the lowest mark I can give you.

FATHER: How are your grades, son?
SON: Under water, Dad.
FATHER: Under water? What do you mean?
SON: They're below C level.

Bob calls in to his job:
"Hey, boss I'm not coming to work today. I'm really sick. I got a headache, stomach ache, and my legs hurt, so I'm not coming into work."
The boss says:
"You know Bob, I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife, and tell her to give me sex. That makes me feel better, and I can go to work. You should try that."
2 hours later Bob calls:
"Boss, I did what you said, and I feel great! I'll be at work soon. By the way, you got nice house.

A man forgot to zip up.So a lady tells him:U LEFT yr GARAGE open.Man asks:DID U C MY BLACK MERCedes parked INSIDE?No,she said JUST A MINI COOPER with a FLAT TIRE

A little girl to her mother: "Mom! i have come to know the boy next door have a pennis like a peanut"
Mom: " Do you mean its little"
girl: " No Mom! Its salty.

People who do lots of work.make lots of mistakes,
People who do less work.make less mistakes,
People who do no work.make no mistakes,
People who make no mistakes.get promoted.

A 90 yr old man started making love with his 85 yr wife, he started sucking her breats and after few seconds the man expired, GUESS WHY?
Autoposy Report : death due to expired milk.

A jobless man, Monday Obuh, is now raising his family under a bridge at Cele, Lagos because he has no money to rent an apartment.

Following their eviction and demolition of their home, Monday and his wife, Dupe, including their son, now live under the bridge at Cele on Oshodi- Mile 2 expressway, Lagos State, southwest Nigeria.

Dupe, who sells sachet (pure) water to make ends meet, is also expecting another baby.

The couple share the abode with dangerous reptiles such as snakes and cats that disturb them at night.

They have been living there for the past two years after they were evicted from their home at Itire area. They hardly eat let alone being able to raise money to rent an apartment.

They cleared a section under the bridge and used mosquito net to construct a makeshift room and parlour apartments.

Despite the pains and challenges of living under the bridge with snakes and cats, his wife told P.M.NEWS that she would not abandon Monday because she loved and married him seven years ago when things were rosy for them.

She said her husband raised N200 which she uses to buy and sell ‘pure’ water.

She said she makes profit of between N30 to N60 daily, while her husband is jobless because he could not find work to do.

Dupe hopes that someday God will remember them.

She said her family wants her to dump her husband because of his condition but she refused, insisting that marriage is for better and for worse.

Because of her obstinacy her family abandoned her to her fate. She hails from Ilesha, Osun State.

Recalling his predicament, Monday said he was an employee of a textile company which is now moribund and when the company closed down, he became jobless.

He said after some years, when the construction of Cele bridge started, he was employed as a labourer there and was sacked when he returned from his late sister’s burial.

He was out of job again and his apartment was eventually demolished and since then he has been raising his family under the bridge.

Monday also said that he wanted to go back to his village in Edo State, but he does not know the place because he was born and raised in Lagos.

He said his parents are living in Lagos and they have no money to assist him rent a house.

He added that his parents arequite old and needed his help but he could not assist them.

He lamented his ordeal in the night since he started living under the bridge.

According to Monday, snakes and cats usually disturb them and attempt to enter their net. He said he wards them off with sticks and stones.

He said he was not handicapped in any form, saying that his problem is just to get a job which will enable him raise money to get accommodation and raise his family properly.

Please can this kind of love still be found now in Nigeria? Am impressed Dupe

http://pmnewsnigeria.com/2011/11/11/man-raises-family-under-lagos-bridge/comment-page-1/#comment-150453

Sylva Dares Jonathan, Flags Off Campaign

Barring any hitches, Governor Timipre Sylva of Bayelsa State has decided to dare President Goodluck Jonathan and the National Headquarters of his party by going ahead to flag off his governorship campaign tomorrow at the Samson Siasia Sports complex,Yenagoa.
P.M.NEWS can confirm that plans are afoot by the embattled governor to flag off his campaign despite the refusal of the National Secretariat of the Peoples Democratic Party, PDP, to nominate him as one of the party’s aspirants for the 19 November primary.

We gathered this morning that after intense lobbying and consultations, all the PDP Governors in the country and all National Assembly members from Bayelsa State, except Seriake Henry Dickson, are queuing behind Sylva.

An aide of the governor said the PDP governors argued that the National Secretariat of the party has not been able to justify the reason for refusing to clear Sylva after he was cleared by the Gubernatorial Election Screening Committee in Port Harcourt and issued a certificate.

They argued that merely citing “security reasons” is speculative and mere conjecture, which cannot be proven in law.

The PDP governors and members of the National Assembly have argued that no panel or court of competent jurisdiction has indicted Governor Sylva of any crime and so the fate of the governor can befall anybody based on mere hearsay.

When P.M.NEWS called Mr. Nathan Egba, Commissioner for Information on phone, he confirmed the flag off of the campaign tomorrow.

“Yes. I can confirm that the governor will flag off his campaign tomorrow.”

Asked if the governor has cleared all issues concerning his nomination, the commissioner said: “I don’t know anything about that. All I know is that the governor is flagging off campaigns tomorrow.”

Meanwhile, Seriake Henry Dickson, Sylva’s arch-rival, has set up a contact committee ahead of his flag off campaign.

Yenagoa, the state capital, was calm this morning after clashes days ago by the aspirants’ supporters left several people dead.
http://pmnewsnigeria.com/2011/11/11/sylva-dares-jonathan-flags-off-campaign/comment-page-1/#comment-150449

CrazyMan:
Sup guys, just inform me once you're true with the movie. I can't wait to handle the marketing process.

Hmm Anambra man.where your shop dey for Alaba Intl?

Northerners dont like school.The FG are only wasting their time and money

Mother to her tennage daughter:
I think it's time that we should talk abt sex,
Daughter: Sure Mom!!, What u want to know?