₦airaland Forum

Chapter 25
How Can I Conquer the Habit of Masturbation?
“I began masturbating when I was eight years old. Later I learned God’s view of the matter. I felt terrible every time I gave in. ‘How could God love someone like me?’ I asked myself.”—Luiz.
WHEN you reach puberty, sexual desires can become particularly strong. As a result, you might fall into a habit of masturbation. Many would say that it’s not a big deal. “No one gets hurt,” they argue. However, there’s good reason to avoid the practice. The apostle Paul wrote: “Deaden, therefore, your body members . . . as respects . . . sexual appetite.” (Colossians 3:5) Masturbation does not deaden sexual appetite but fuels it. In addition, consider the following:
● Masturbation instills attitudes that are totally self-centered. For example, when masturbating, a person is immersed in his or her own body sensations.
● Masturbation causes one to view those of the opposite sex as mere objects, or tools, for self-gratification.
● The selfish thinking that is instilled through the practice of masturbation can make satisfying sexual relations in marriage difficult to achieve.
Rather than resort to masturbation to relieve pent-up sexual urges, strive to cultivate self-control. (1 Thessalonians 4:4, 5) To help you to do that, the Bible recommends that you avoid circumstances that might arouse you sexually in the first place. (Proverbs 5:8, 9) Still, what if you have become enslaved to the habit of masturbation? Perhaps you’ve tried to stop but without success. It would be easy to conclude that you’re a lost cause, that you’re incapable of living up to God’s standards. That’s how a boy named Pedro viewed himself. “When I relapsed, I felt terrible,” he says. “I thought that I could never atone for what I had done. I found it hard to pray.”
If that’s how you feel, take courage. Your case isn’t hopeless. Many young people—and adults—have overcome the habit of masturbation. You can too!
Dealing With Guilt
As already noted, those who have fallen into the habit of masturbation are often plagued with guilt. Without a doubt, being “saddened in a godly way” can give you the incentive to overcome the habit. (2 Corinthians 7:11) But excessive guilt can be counterproductive. It can make you feel so discouraged that you just want to give up the fight.—Proverbs 24:10.
So strive to put the matter in perspective. Masturbation is a form of uncleanness. It can make you a ‘slave to various desires and pleasures,’ and it fosters unhealthy attitudes. (Titus 3:3) At the same time, masturbation is not a form of gross sexual immorality, such as fornication. (Jude 7) If you have a problem with masturbation, you need not conclude that you have committed the unforgivable sin. The key is to resist the urge and never to give up your fight!
It is easy to become downhearted after a relapse. When that occurs, take to heart the words of Proverbs 24:16: “The righteous one may fall even seven times, and he will certainly get up; but the wicked ones will be made to stumble by calamity.” A temporary setback does not make you a wicked person. So do not give up. Instead, analyze what led to the relapse, and try to avoid repeating the same pattern.
Take time to meditate on God’s love and mercy. The psalmist David, who was no stranger to personal weakness, stated: “As a father shows mercy to his sons, Jehovah has shown mercy to those fearing him. For he himself well knows the formation of us, remembering that we are dust.” (Psalm 103:13, 14) Yes, Jehovah takes into consideration our imperfection and is “ready to forgive.” (Psalm 86:5) On the other hand, he wants us to put forth effort to improve. So what practical steps can you take to conquer your habit?
Analyze your entertainment. Do you watch movies or TV programs or visit Web sites that are sexually stimulating? The psalmist wisely prayed to God: “Make my eyes pass on from seeing what is worthless.”—Psalm 119:37.
Force your mind to focus on other matters. A Christian named William advises: “Before going to bed, read something related to spiritual things. It is very important that the last thought of the day be a spiritual one.”—Philippians 4:8.
Talk to someone about the problem. Shame might make it difficult for you to bring up the matter to a confidant. Yet, doing so can help you to overcome the habit! That’s what a Christian named David found. “I talked privately with my father,” he says. “I’ll never forget what he said. With a reassuring smile on his face, he said, ‘You make me so proud of you.’ He knew what I had to go through to get to that point. No words could have lifted my spirits and determination more.
“My father then showed me a few scriptures to help me see that I was not ‘too far gone,’ and then some more scriptures to be sure I understood the seriousness of my wrong course. He said to ‘keep the slate clean’ until a certain time, and we would discuss it again then. He told me not to let it crush me if I relapsed, just go a longer period of time without giving in the next time.” David’s conclusion? He says: “Having someone else aware of my problem and helping me was the greatest benefit.”
IN OUR NEXT CHAPTER
Casual sex is no casual matter. Find out why.
[Footnotes]
Masturbation is not to be confused with involuntary sexual arousal. For example, a boy might wake up sexually excited or have a nocturnal emission of semen. Similarly, some girls might find that they are stimulated unintentionally, particularly just before or after their menstrual period. In contrast, masturbation involves deliberate sexual self-stimulation.
For more information, see Volume 2, Chapter 33.
For more information, see Volume 2, pages 239-241.
KEY SCRIPTURE
“Flee from the desires incidental to youth, but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace, along with those who call upon the Lord out of a clean heart.”—2 Timothy 2:22.
TIP
Pray before urges become strong. Ask Jehovah God to give you “power beyond what is normal” to cope with temptation.—2 Corinthians 4:7.
DID YOU KNOW . . . ?
Any weak person can give in to his or her sexual urges. But it takes a real man or a real woman to display self-control even when in private.
ACTION PLAN!
I can keep my mind on things that are chaste if I ․․․․․
Instead of giving in to the urge, I will ․․․․․
What I would like to ask my parent(s) about this subject is ․․․․․
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
● Why is it important to remember that Jehovah is “ready to forgive”?—Psalm 86:5.
● Since God, who created sexual urges, also says that you should cultivate self-control, what confidence must he have in you?
[Blurb on page 182]
“Since overcoming the problem, I can keep a clean conscience before Jehovah, and that is something that I wouldn’t trade for anything!”—Sarah
[Picture on page 180]
A fall while running does not mean that you have to start over—nor does a relapse with masturbation erase the progress you’ve already made
*** yp1 chap. 25 pp. 178-182 How Can I Conquer the Habit of Masturbation? ***
Young people Ask Volume 1, Published by Jehovahs witnesses.. or visit Jw.org for more information.

@ op thanks for posting this very interesting topic.

First, i will have to say that marriage is a divine institution and shouldn't be based on just on human philosophies and things read in books. Prayer is very essential.

Second a man or woman must first of all determine the most important qualities required in an ideal mate.If a person can determine the 3 or more most important qualities in an ideal mate that, even if the man or woman gets crippled or incapacitated after the wedding , if u look those qualities you will still appreciate the person.That will be a good starting point and will help in making a thorough search.

Third, coming back to Nigeria to get married doesn't automatically guarantee a happy marriage. Marriage home or abroad is like a surprise parcel/gift, when its opened , whatever you find as its content is what you get.

Some people married abroad and they are enjoying there marriage with their families there, with some of the women willing to relocate with their husbands.Some also made the effort to come back home to get married , spent the money for a Nigerian wedding, visas, travels and met other expectations from people back home and yet the marriage crashed in less than 3 years. Perhaps because both people barely knew each and the marriage was based on recommendations ,or the lady married the simply for his money and going abroad. Of course we shouldn't forget that some people also came and made those sacrifices and they are enjoying their marriages. The fact is , it can go either way. Just pray for the best and make the best decisions based on the 'right' set of priorities. A good wife can be found anywhere. Our choice shouldn't be made squarely on the basis on Nigerian food, language, other parts of our culture or even planning to come after to Nigeria after 20 years. There are other important qualities to look out for in an ideal mate.

SMH.....
When people fail to adhere to bible standards (Monogamy) and start to create their own, the whole thing will come crashing.

What will happen if any of the men starts to cheat, since they can easily infect each other?

What if the woman starts to find another person attractive,since its hard to for her to let go of anyone she is

emotionally attached to? Whats then gonna happen? This whole thing is going to fail with time.

Very pathetic,I used to be close Emma when he was still a University student in Enugu. Very smart guy and he has this unique baritone voice .I lost contact with him many years back, but i heard he was doing some stuff with Globalcom. I really wish him speedy recovery. Kidney failure is just terrible.

@ the poster , is he soliciting for funds or are we to just wish him speedy recovery?

@ EverG simply check the DIAC/immigration website, it contains the postcodes of low population/Regional areas.Complement that with your google search.You can also use Uniguru.com to check Universities against the particular course you intend to pursue.

@Smile4davo congrats broda,happy the stunts u pulled worked...When is ur school resumin,most schools resume this week .The earlier u start coming the better for u.

@Americanvisa if the only issue affecting your application is that your funds haven't been there for up to 90days,DIAC will inform you and request you to wait till it does.Most times it doesn't really matter.

When I applied , my funds had spent like 2months in the account and my visa came out in about 3weeks later.

If you and ur wife have met all the other criteria, fire up the application.

@American Visa... if u are sponsoring yourself in part or in full,then you are going to need all your employment details(filling it up and attaching notarized documents). If someone else is sponsoring you , then all you need do is to fill up your form indicating your work experience,attaching evidence to that effect won't be compulsory.

When filling up your visa application form , after you have filled up your employment details, there will be a small box to indicate whether or not you are attaching documents to support the application.

I have a friend who spent a lot of money notarizing many employment documents, only to be told by the education agent that it wont be necessary since his dad was sponsoring him.Today he is in Griffith University.

zoe iyke: LOL guy no let embassy hear say u no wan return oo,bt wait ist must one provide a letter of employment nd also 4rm d organisation ure workin as evidenc of wrk xperienc? Cos I don't av any wrk xperience watsoever jst finishd my service by FEBRUARY dis year, hw do I tackle dis issue, Kai Dis visa requirements r realy getin tough.

You can't give wat u don't have.In ur visa application,just fill the form correctly. U will be asked present employment status...tick either yes or no.If u tick yes den ur gonna provide an attached evidence,if u tick no den u won't have to bother urself.Your present employment status becomes very important when ur sponsoring itself ,if u have anoda sponsor , den it won't be necessary.

@Smile4davo,I wish u all the best.But don't forget dat dis is a public forum and anyone can have access to it even DIAC (Department of Immigration n Citizenship).If u provide fake information and ur caught....lolz,it might affect u as well as other applicants.I hope it works for u.

Aussie hardly denies visas if anyone meets d health and financial obligations.

IELTS is a very good test of ones proficiency level in English language.I got a 7.5 overall score(Academic),and i used about 2 weeks to prepare for this exam. I took mine in Abuja, 3rd week of February in Gwarimpa. The main material i used was the British Council online 30 hours preparation website and the British Council IELTS webpage.I just went through this IELTS buddy website a few minutes ago, and i can see its very informative too.

The key to getting a very high score is proper preparation. A thorough understanding of the exam format, requirements and timing is key. The next is being able to review the exam under timed conditions. The listening part just requires focus,don't be distracted on that day. Answer the questions as they come, and anticipate what the speakers will say next.

The reading part is also very cool.For any avid reader of novels,books, magazines, blogs etc that individuals reading speed would have increased significantly and the individual will be able to cover longer passages in shorter periods.Understanding tricks required to answer the different question formats is also very important.For most parts, you may not need to read the whole passage.Getting the correct answers might just require reading the introduction, conclusion and skimming through the body of the text. I heard the British Council material sold for N4000 is also very informative.

For the speaking part,just do the following; maintain eye contact, gesture effectively, ooze confidence as you speak,use grammatically correct sentences, comprehensively answer the questions you were asked and make good use of your time.In the writing part, use a pencil so that you can easily erase.Before the exam date,write as many essays as you can.

In summary,anyone that practices very well under timed conditions will definitely excel.For those of you planning and preparing for this exam , i really wish you guys all the best.

@Fikzy, i haven't seen/heard you in a while on this forum.Are you in Melbourne now ?

Nice one.Jermaine Jackson 'personally' extolled the virtues of this twins. Kudos to the P-square....keep the fire burning!

@Oyeptel to answer ur question, i will advice you to go back some pages and read through.You can also click on the link you were given.

Hey guys,good afternoon.Am supposed to have popped in a line or 2.I came into Melbourne last weekend via Qatar airways.The weather has been cool and the people have been friendly. Infact i even made some Facebook friends while on board.

Its been a long week of university orientation programs and registrations.Enrollment is next week and lectures in a fortnight. The next challenge is getting a part time job cos living costs are quite high.Keep u guys posted on stuffs generally Am loving it here.For all those aspiring for student visas or GSM visas, don't lose steam, challenges are there to be surmounted...

@Jenny, yeah I just confirmed from the airline dat u can book one way or two way.

Thanks .

@ Manmeta, Nice input .Abeg Which part of Aussie u dey?

Please house I will like an opinion on dis matter pls, I hope to get a one way ticket to Melbourne, but dis agents in wakanow are telling me that I need a 2 way ticket. Due to d distance of Australia, d tickets are very expensive from N240k to even 800k(British Airways ) for a one way ticket.I feel dis guys are trying to make me to overspend and rip me off since my Visa is a 2yr visa .

@all, For anyone going through the PR route or Student route, give it your best shot and leave d rest to God.

Most definitely, I think Mikel has shown enough class and quality to win the award .Apart from his sterling performance in the just concluded Confederations cup, Mikel was very influential at the AFCON, winning man of d match award 3times and fair play award twice. www.mtnfootball.com/africa/african-tournaments/african-cup-of-nations/player-profiles/2013-afcon/nigeria/mikel-obi.html

Many people fail to appreciate his performance ,but if u watch his game closely at Chelsea, although he doesn't score goals, he keeps Winning Man of Match awards .Take for instance d game last season Chelsea vs Barca, I once read in a Nigerian sports daily that he was nominated Man of the Match.Even in d finals in Munich, whilst many were lauding Didier for his exploits on the night, he was quick to direct praise towards the Nigerian Midfield maestro for his interceptions and clinical performance on the night.

Anything short of Africa's best player 2013 for Mikel will be unfair, Infact he is the next most decorated Nigerian player after Nwankwo Kanu.I hope he continues to perform for club and country.Just as were still suffering from injuries to Moses and Emenike, if Mikel gets injured b4 2014 world cup Like he did in 2010 south africa , dats gonna mark doom for world cup hopes.

Overall , I will say d boy deserves d award, cause no other person even Yaya Toure comes close.

@ Americanvisa,Ferdimako,Snowburn,Akomsy,Kizzo....Thanks peeps .With God all things are possible.Wakanow is wat am using to book.

@Kellyyems thanks, my school is La trobe University Bundoora Melborne Victoria.

@Surgee like will always see on dis forum , to increase ur chances of getting a PR, studying for at least 2yrs will be ideal.You might also need to look at Skilled Occupation List for d region ur travelling to (although it changes occasionally).

I remember attending an Australasian Seminar with PFL some months ago and they were talking about TAFE, its a good route to travel/migrate and its attractive because of the price and fewer qualifying documents. They kinda suggested that if one can get a conditional offer for Bsc Admission from an affliate University on completion of d program or if the same University an individual is applying to offers both TAFE n BSc and there is continuity, fine.

In summary you define your career path and know what u really want and what u really enjoy.Think where you will picture yourself 5yrs,10yrs time and align ur goals accordingly.That's d much I can say.cheers

@T.moni, thanks for opening dis thread .I hope to be in Melbourne dis July.I just got a grant on my visa application.

A few questions to ask pls, How easy/Hard is it to secure a job in Bundoora,Melbourne??.My school is La trobe University Victoria.

Wats d general experience for a newbie and for a Naija boi wat kinda cultural shock should one expect ?

Thankz and hope to get a reply .

Melbourne ...here I come.Just got a grant on my visa application,am soo excited.@Fikzy I sent u a mail,pls check ur box let's hook up.

For all aspiring visa applicants, ur visas will soon be granted.Once u meet ur financial and health obligations , ur good to go.To everyone on this forum that has made a meaningful contribution(Aunty Jennykadri et al), I say a big thank you.I hope to continue to be part of this forum.

Right now I need to go book my flight.Feel free to ask me any question.

For accomodation,am using gumtree.com and flatmates.co.au. The latter seems better as I get responses after a short while.

Congrats to Akomsy and billionaire001 I can imagine d excitement u guys are feeling right now.Really wish u guys all d best.

@Fikzy pls am having some little issues wif my mail. Will pm u once I resolve it.pls bear wif me.

@Fikzy definitely we can hook up, I pray ur Visa application will also be successful. I did my medicals already and a applied like 2weeks ago.Under d new Stream lined visa processing for student visa ,Visa processing takes 2-4 weeks but not all d Universities in Australia are part of it.The applicant has to confirm such details prior to applying.

For now am just hoping n praying for d best.

I pray my Visa comes out Next week.My admission is for July 2013.Can't wait to be in Melbourne.I hope Naija peeps plenty for Melbourne? Lol

@Americanvisa My tuition for 1yr is about A$25,000 ,OSHC(Overseas Health Insurance cover) -A$ 1,131.For the purpose of my COE, I was told to pay half of my tution and the OSHC.

For the OSHC , in my offer letter it mentioned dat the duration covered will be 26months, but when I obtained my COE, I observed that d period covered was about 3yrs like 39months ,did any other person observe did pls?

@Jennykadri, Gracias.Thanks for d information, am grateful.I just needed to confirm .Am waiting for a feedback on my student Visa application,I applied at vfs in Abuja 31st May. I applied for a 2yr Msc program in Biotechnology/Bioinformatics in LA Trobe University Melbourne.

I have been following this thread for a while and I have been checking up all the info here.Thanks People and I won't mind answering any question or assisting in anyway I can.

Am certain dis issue might have been mentioned, but please @ all d gurus in house Jenny et al .If someone wif a Nigerian passport and is on a student visa in Australia,decides to get married to Nigerian. Will be able to bring his wife over apart from she coming on a student visa like he did? And will she have a work permit. The student visa in question is a 2yr Visa. Thanks in advance.

The time of d game is 8PM Nigerian time.Please confirm ur details.

Emmanuel Emenike without a doubt

Thanks a lot Mr Lucky don and Mr Siga.The advice is appreciated.

For someone that has any part of his original document misspelt e.g birth certificate or University degree or even WAEC .What effect does it have on the application to the university and the Embassy?Thanks.

In my most candid opinion devoid of bias and sentiments,I think this is one of the best things I heard today. First Prof Nebo has a very good pedigree when one looks at his educational background. He studied in the United States and he has a good engineering foundation in metallurgical engineering. He is a very intelligent and a wonderful orator. When one looks at the quality of work he did in UNN,one can't help but marvel at the quality this man possesses.I really wish him all the best.please search this man on Google and see for yourself.

Visit http://mp3lemon.org, the website has all foreign songs you can think of.

Spiritual healing/Dance in d rain -Tubaba
Bottom belle-flavor/O.wumi
Afefe -Dr sid

Congrats man, and keep enjoying marital bliss. Obiwon attended CIC Enugu and some my cousins said he made 9A's in his O'level,he also left a career in banking to pursue his dreams,smart dude. He does more of gospel tunes this dayz. Thumbs up