₦airaland Forum

FoxyXX: Lol. So true. Got me

Which one got you?

Zehner: @ Sunbellar. Amen

God will do it for you soon!

chidyhels: Amen o

It's well! Be of good courage, your miracle is on the way!

phlemzy: Common sense,u no get.Must it be everyone viewing dat needs a job.

Park well with you nonchalant jobless attitude!

Vivipop: Please this question should be directed to op's victim and not me. I just took a quote from the Op's write up.

Sorry I didn't take time to read op's epistle. I believe you are too classical to fall such a prey! Please pardon

God please provide job for these ones:


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Only if they can pay 600k/month

Vivipop: "I was molested by five men when I was just 16 years old and in my final year in secondary school, so it affected me psychologically and the incident contributed to what I am today. I am also the first child of my parent's eight children. I need to struggle and sponsor myself in school and also help sponsor my younger ones because my parents are poor. So I do this to survive". Shallow excuses, I think Greed is the root cause of campus prostitution.

Are you serious? How were you able to overcome the trauma and pain of having 5 men at that age?

Congrats Reyginus, Seems you studied Agric science to prefer Benue State.

chidyhels: Dnt be silly gal,its a private msg.

Forgive her, She must be a teenager!

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Just saw this hilarious post on facebook:

UNE 2014 EXAMINATION.

Time: 1hr 30 mins

Section A (Answer all questions, questions carry equal
marks)

1a) How many chibok girls were kidnapped and state d
reason for their kidnap? (20marks)

1b) The question “Na only you waka come was said by
who and to who? Why dis xclamation “chai there‘s is God
oo!(15marks)

2a. What are the names of the two people holding hands
when you switch on a Nokia phone ?(10 marks)

2b. If the past tense of Take is Took, what is the past
tense of Make ?(10marks)

3. Which university in Nigeria has the highest number of
ladies using blackberry phones?

4. If Buhari is a friend to Obasanjo on facebook, who sent
the friend request and why ?

5. if the cost of moi-moi is N10.50, what is the cost of
moi ?

6. Who ate the missing part of the apple logo?

SECTION B (Answer All. 10 Marks each)

1. Between the Nigerian police and Nigerian girls, who likes
money more?

2. Using the almighty formula, calculate the diameter of
elegushi beach. (take pi=3.142)

3. If Ada is a girl and Obi is a boy, who is Adaobi ?

4. If your X-boyfriend/X-girlfriend wins N50,000,000 on
who wants to be a millionaire a day after you guys broke
up, find the value of X?

5. If it takes Goodluck 1 hour to deliver a typed speech in a
national conference, how many days will it take Patience
to deliver the same speech on the same occasion?
Assuming the polarity of the audience is kept constant.

SECTION C (Answer 2)

1) Tuface was given a Prado and Ferarri on his traditional
wedding and white wedding respectively. There is every
likelihood that D Banj has gone ahead to print wedding
invitation cards without an available bride. Discuss
(20Marks)

2) Write a short essay of 500 words on 'My Oga At The
Top' (15 Marks)

3) What's the name of the lady that use to say "please
enter your secret number" at the ATM center of the banks.
State reasons why she was chosen and explain too (20
Marks)

NO SIDE TALK........................
Get all answers correctly.
Exam starts NOW!!
7 mins


1. If your woman catches you looking at
another
woman, turn to her and say "sweetheart, I’m
glad
youdon’t dress like that.”
2. Nigerian parents are confused. They'll beat
their kids with the intent of making them cry
and
then start beating them again to stop them
from
crying.
3. Guys, When A Girl Say You Are The BEST
MAN In Her Life, Don't Be Surprised To See
Yourself Standing Beside Her Husband On Her
Wedding
Day.
4. The downfall of A Man is when he Moves
From BBM to 2go.
5. Guys always complaining about girls that
are
looking for Rich
men, you sef hustle and be a rich man let girls
find you too.
6. Very soon mtn will be Like Do you know
there are people in your village that don't
want
you to succeed? Quickly text "thunder fire
them"to 33505.
7. if your boyfriend is like 10 years older than
u, just stop calling him baby. and start calling
him:
Uncle Bae, Brother Boo, Sir Baby
8. Those that use spoon to eat Eba are our
major problem in this
country.
9. It is only in Nigeria that you'll see a notice
board say "man
wanted with 40 Years experience, must be
aged
25
10. Being a good person is like being a goal
keeper, no matter how many goals u
Save...People
will only remember the ones You missed.
11. India has never been to the World Cup
because FIFA won't
allow them sing and dance for 20 minutes
after
every goal.
12. Girls please Your boyfriend should not be
your source of income everyday. Cos it's only
a
relationship, not a job opportunity.
13. someone will just die with an Afro in
Nigeria
movie and his spirit will come back with a low
cut.
So Barbing salon dey that side?
14. Strangling your wife for making indomie as
dinner is not domestic violence, it is self-
defense
15. How Can You Chase a GIRL for 4 Years.
Is she your University Degree?
16. New ways of crossing roads in Nigeria,
check
sideways 4 motors, & look up 4 plane-crash,
&
look down 4 bomb, & look back 4 kidnapp, and
now run zig~zig 2 dodge bullets

Op, since 2010 you have been dating a woman and still crying out publicly after your wasted good quality four years.
Your possible issues maybe:
1. You don't have better ambition and focus in life
2. You maybe bewitched with womanising spirit or mami water
3. Your destiny during creation maybe woman's pot/hole
4. You may still be a hustler and indigent for a lady to play you around
5. You are not matured physically, emotionally, financially and spiritually to handle women matters.

Suggestions:
1. Get focused in all your endeavours and try to make it financially.
2. Be prayerful and forget about woman for now. They will come after you when you have arrived financially.
Conclusion:
Am talking from experience.

adebayor1490: Yes there is. Its just that you meet people like you.

You said it all!

JaaizTech: You are a liar. People like you have murdered many people with your orchestrated lies and hate. Where and when did Buhari say "He would make this country ungovernable" God pass una

Shut up smallie, maybe you were not born during the 2011 general elections.

sameer1212: hmmmm i blame myselffor cheeping so low to tlk to some one like u. i will neva reply u again..........

You re just a slowpoke. You will soon meet your Waterloo!

sameer1212: i now no ur prblm.......poverty....

Fool! I can comfortably feed your generation. Wretched pig

sameer1212: u fucking bastard if u no u r man enof, lets take dis fight to some were, any were u can tink off. n let me show u hw a son of a general react. i swear to god, if u like i can give u my adress here in abuja so dat we can c if u r man enof

If you are man enough drop your address and let's see how it goes. Foolish Aboki!

sameer1212: i am nt taking side of any one, i dont engage myself wit any type of fight, eda online or physicaly. because of my personality n famly. u dont no who i am, so pls dont push me too far. because i swear to god, i hv wat it take to get u were eva u r.

Sorry is your name. You are just a church rat. If you try abusing my personality again, I will use all possible means to track you and decimate your posterity. Try quoting me again and await the impending consequences and curses. Fool!

sameer1212: i pity ur life. u sucks..........

You blood sucker Boko Haram brother of Buhari. Idiots!

sameer1212: u r a fool for sayn dis nonsens..... go get a life

You re from a generation of fools. Go and check your history!

Imagine these Abokis trying to stage manage and falsify an incidence to prove the that Buhari is not the Boko Haram boss because 2015 election is around the corner. Buhari is a fool and we are tired of him. He should be reminded that his statement that he will make this government ungovernable is still fresh in our memory. Buhari should be the most foolish cattle rearer ever.

walcolm: no investment is 'absolutely' risk free...government securities in a jungle like Nigeria are even riskier and that's why foreigners bring in short term billions of $ to trade and get out at a moments notice

Hope you know first bank mm is a subsidiary of fbn holding plc and I know you don't have upto a billion $ that can give the bank any concern even if the economy collapsed.

Seun: No

Sorry you can't teach me my job.

Seun: Is it risk free?

Absolutely risk free. Just like normal term deposit.

Seun: What rates can you get from FBN, MM and KGIF at the moment, after deducting withholding tax?

You don't need to pay withholding tax. The rate is determined by daily changes in market index. The last time I checked, it was 11.78%. You can contact me if you have reasonable sum to fix.

seunwen2: May God help me

What's your course?

cutiedave: hmm.y do u tink so,many pple hav adviced me to go for mathematics in unilorin

Boy, go for mathematics in any university and forget everything about poly. Do this so that you will not regret in future.

Bootybuttchic: Yoll shld pls wish me happy birthday

Happy birthday! Have fun! Reply only if you are not on booty call already.

phayvoursky: Another fresh punny for the ogas at the top

Flash and blood has revealed this to you.

ATMC: Aw: water activity? rarely gets angry but e dey hot anytime I do...as in eh...how do I curb it biko?

Tags Goshen360(don't come and tell me yhu don't have W), Obadiah(see above), Seun, Sunbellar, Spike C, Ikekings, Sal C, Mrs killz, Britneykute, Current27, FrancisTony, T-girl4real, Obinoscopy, dre1

As: Genotype? Affable

Ok, let me comment as long as you have dragged me here:

AW: Phobia of visiting Sambisa forest anytime soon to exterminate all those Alimajiris.
AS: Inspired always by the Holy ghost to do all things through him that strengthens me.

.