JONNYSPUTE:
..Bro just show her the exit. She is just toying with your emotions.

Did you read the op?

rottennaija:


My brother, you need to make a resolute decision, else this girl will break your heart into pieces, mess up your life and then give it back to you.

I had a girl like that. After I lost my relationship of many years, I showed my interest in the girl I knew I love. She had been my friend for a long time. She showed interest, then off. It almost resulted in a problem between us and I had to let her know that it's not nice. If she had the interests, she should be in or out.

To short everything, we got into a fight because of her ways. She wasn't here or there, but will not also allow me to move forward. I regret everything, but as I got to know her more, I realised she was immature in mind and heart.

So candid.
I intend to not feel too much about this person, since she's here and there at the same time, I'll keep up for now without much interest. So whether she stays or discharges, I move on stronger.
Already felt all the pains and moaning, and regrets. There's little more left for anyone right now.
Thank you.

rottennaija:


Still immatured in mind. I know a girl like that, 26 but still undecided. She wouldn't accept openly at the same time, wouldn't get jealous when she with another lady.

Some girls are that way. You need to put it clearly that she needs to make a decision or you forget about her.

Forget about her. That's the part. It's a Lil difficult for me. I've had many of them but there's none like this person. She has shown limited interest in us.

For me I'm available to make things work. For her she's willing to forget about everything.
She's willing to stick around and see if it'll all come back, even though she says she currently feels nothing. She's like on and off.
When I'm off she calls and texts and comes to me, while saying she feels nothing and would like that there's no us.
She'll be coming to spend the night today. I feel I'm a tennis ball hit here and there. I wish to keep her. She's undecided, and I don't know what to do.

tintingz:


I think she doesn't know what she wants, maybe another guy is making a move on her.

You need to give her two options, stay or leave.

Two options. She'll leave.

LordReed:


For your own peace of mind I suggest that you forget this lady and move on. We should not kill ourselves to make people accept us rather we should seek and hold tight the people that already accept us. Believe me, as long as you are a decent fellow, the number of people that accept you will overshadow those who don't.

This is uplifting. Thank you.

Martinez39:
You are at fault and you are the architect of your suffering. Why haven't you sent her through the exit door for good?

Good qualities that are hard to find. We were gonna get married next year. You know, a lot has been built around each other.
I'm trying to axe it. But it hasn't been easy. These things work somehow.

rottennaija:


How old is she?

25

Elder0001, Martinez39, tintingz, seun
Jeff1607, lordreed, just4fun, rottennaija, banjicom, Michellekabod2, Joseph1013,
Tillaman, JONNYSPUTE, 1Sharon, astrog

After this thread was made she came around again and it felt like everything was on it's way to be alright, in the last 4 days.

However, yesterday, she has gone back to the old things again, trying to say it won't work and we can't be and stuff. Her excuses are the old things from months back which are even insignificant. She says she's scared and "there's no love for me in her".

There's no love for me but you started to text and call last Sunday.. After I had moved on pretty well, and we've hung out pretty much since then.
What is wrong with this person? I'm in a maze right here.

Then right now, I get a good morning text from her. I'm a soccer game now.

Ekakamba:
Whether you're saying the right thing or not, I just forking love one thing about you. Your bluntness!

It was nice having you guys around. Your inputs were really helpful.

ubunja:

I'm following your works now. I've really enjoyed some of them.

9jamyHome:
OP, you just displayed a bad attitude and it's a disgrace to the community of real men. Never beg to be loved! making people feel indispensable and is tantamount to mental slavery and you castigating your fellow guys just to look good in the faces of women is WRONG.

However, you just have to let go. You can't force people to stay with you....if they are not destined to be with you, they can never stay...so, you need to let go. It doesn't make her a bad person but it just mean that her part in your story is over. You have to let go so that you won't keep waking a dead dog; you need to know when it's dead.

Since I opened the thread, I no longer feel the weight.
I think of her sometimes, but it's part of letting go. A gradual process.

Thank you.

cooooooks:
This idea that e don be if somebody leaves you needs to be shut down for good.

I understand. We men need more education on this since from the early stage, media brainwashes little boys and feeds them with these ideas of what a "man" or perfect "gentleman" should be in the presence of a crazy, imperfect, wayward, undeserving, careless woman.

Ubunja, Martinez39, astrog, harddon and some others are doing a good job on the forum by trying to eradicate nonsensical gentlemanism and open the eyes of many men. But we need more of the gospel.

Thanks for your input.

HARDDON:


smh

It seems you have a straight answer to all these straight questions. I don't think that's how it works. These guys will not use your straight answers in their conflicting situations. They would want to try again, and again, and they'll be dissapointed. Just like me.

Goalnaldo:
exactly!! Nobody is telling you not to fail in love. Just don't beg if she decides to leave!

Alright, goalnaldinho. I get you.

Mobree:
And if all men take the "red pill" and all women become "feminists", what would Love look like? What would marriages be like?

Going through this thread made me sad. Looks like there's no longer "Selfless" in Love. Everyone is calculative, trying to know and counter his/her partner's next move. To those who do it, is there peace in it for you? I'm just wondering sha o. Looks like we all are always on our toes with this love thing. I'm not sure that's what it was meant to be like.

Anyway, OP, like I do say, Ticket wey go cut go cut...E no geh watin you wan do. I wish you all the best!


P.S: I'm a lady...Sue me!

The whole thing is now messy. Everyone looking to exploit the next.
Things will be much more difficult than they used to be.
Men blaming women. Women blaming men. It's really messy. It's not supposed to be this way.
Love used to mean something great. Now it's just a curse word.

realest2:
NO WOMAN OR LADY IS TOO SPECIAL TO BE REPLACED, except your family members of course

I understand. Thank you.

okoroemeka:
in situations like this you have to understand that you cannot have everything you desire in this world,pick yourself up and move on,no matter you said she's 99% of what you need,you will still meet another that will give you 99.1% love so don't despair,it is simply obvious that the girl didn't have strong feelings for you because if she did she will not leave you because of a shouted word in anger or a few criticism,I know a friend of mine that impregnated his wife's junior sister,the wife threatened fire and brimstone but did not leave her matrimonial home the sister later got married and my friend is living happliy ever after with his wife and the pretty child is been raised by the mother in law,how many women do you think that can tolerate such and still live happily ever after with their husbands?

Yeah.. From day one I always knew she was gonna be the type to fall easy, hate easy. A disturbed person who didn't actually know what she wanted. We played house for the entire 7 months and her good sides kept making me think it could work. In her dictionary, I only have bad sides. Bad sides like simple criticism and correction of a few flaws. Bad sides like providing the most appropriate answers to questions like "is this dress okay? "
Women don't want appropriate answers. They want comforting answers.

Thanks for coming by.

alexmakaay:


Young man, first of all.. you are afraid of the truth. unfortunately, it is the women bashers, clueless men and men that has never being in love will tell you the truth..only if you are wise.

secondly, you contradicted yourself or rather compromised your very self when you wrote
"To be better than you ever was".. my friend, what the hell do you want to better here?? you see some anomalies that is unhealthy for your relationship, you pointed it out, she fled..so be it!! for truth sake, I bet you don't wanna spend the rest of your life with a woman that can't appreciate your sincerity or truth.. I don't wanna say you are confused but this attitude of hers is a clear indication that she is not a wife material.

Honestly there are only few women on earth that can appreciate sincerity of truth. I've always known they like the comforting lies.
Relationships are not for me. I don't know how to not say the most obvious truth, and call white black.
Her: is the soup too salty?
Me: yeah.. It is. Just minimize next time.
Her: you complain too much. Everything little I do is complains. I'm tired.
Me:


Your comments on this thread has saved me. All of you. All your comments.
From yesterday till today I can say I'm a bit better. Although, a part of me still want her, in my head I know what I need are better things.

Thanks people.

Neduzze5:


Religion... Cost me my last relationship

May also cost me the one I'm about to embark on. God airpus oooo

What do you mean?
How?

Equity15:
lol..our NL ladies don dey respect topics oh.. the O.P said "men only" and truly no woman don comment.

This one pass their power. Forget the men only.

just4fun:
All u guys bashing swaggzo, free d guy abeg.
Some of us learn d hard way.

Fool or no fool, we learn our lessons n move on. I dont expect everyone to react d same way 'when life throws u a punch. Get d wisdom, stand up, dust urself and MOVE ON .

There is so much to dis life, Cheers !!

It was expected chief. I've only taken the important notes that are necessary.

Insults and shaming are the top reasons many people die in silence in Nigeria.

Swaggzo is 8 years old on Nairaland.
I knew what I was gonna see in the thread before I created it.
I dropped this topic not just for me but for many men that are experiencing me and dying in silence daily.

Thank you. I appreciate your presence.

pansophist:


If you'll be honest with yourself, you'll admit that the reason why you stooped so low to win her back is due to romantic lack, and the fear that it will take you long to be in a relationship again, or/and get another woman in her league. Your love is strong because of lack of option.

You all conclude too much. Where I stay, I can have up to 5 real girls every week.
I just liked how I connected with this person.
But you know, love is a loosing game. I lost this round.

Martinez39:
Good that you see the wisdom. The ball is in your court. Let her go for good. Don't ever beg her again or accept her back. Even if she comes begging or she starts acting in a humble way so that you take her back, don't give her a second chance. Move on. You have endured enough and no nice person should be treated in this way. Forget about her, she is replaceable and nothing special.

Broke up with me one time. Reason was I slept off without her

The last break up.. She told a lie. Refused to tell the truth. I said the truth I knew was right. She started laughing.
I left her presence to my house in the calmest manner you can ever imagine.

No apologies from her. Only for me to call a million times before finding out that she's broken up with me over so many allegations that has never existed. This is what really happened. It's confusing till this moment.

The last begging was last night in the street. I made sure I entertained onlookers for close to 2 hours with tears and catarrh. I'm not kidding

I'm a very funny fool.

Martinez39:
I no dey drink alcohol. Na Chivita I dey like. Don't mind the op. He came here to find people that will feed his illusions and stupidity, and to create an echo chamber for himself. I hope he doesn't get to a stage where after he has invested so much, he learns the hard way and becomes suicidal.

I can never become suicidal as an alcoholic. Don't worry beer got me under control.

viceddy95:

It seems this O P is still in secondary school or just got admission into school and love they shark am.....
Or probably is one of those guys that are afraid to talk (toast) a girl hence the reason his begging a girl to stay with him...

I finished secondary school almost 20 years ago. Haha.. I have never toasted any girl. We just happen.
Thanks.

Martinez39:
Don't mind him. His girlfriend, whom he is probably providing for, is just playing a game of power dynamics since he has made the fatal mistake of treating her as indispensable and special. Each you beg a girl to come back, she must have given you a rule that you will obey in order for her to come back and stay. Unfortunately, such rule is made to favour and give her more grasp on the position of dominion in the relationship. When she repeats such break up, it means more rules. Swaggzo is settling up himself to be a door mat. He came here to find those that will feed and support his illusions and stupidity, and to create an echo chamber for himself. A pathetic way for a man to live his life.

I wonder why some people have brains but can't use them and have some self respect.

Na wah for you. I only came here to see if there are people who have experienced such.. And to learn how they outgrew that phase.

Guy I no go lie. I cried no be small. With catarrh running down my face.
My mates are committing suicide because of this same situation. How am I worse?

I'm not you. I'm in for the red pills, but when I find a nice human I tend to be affectionate towards them. I won't stop falling in love mate.
The only thing is that I understand to fall in love with wisdom instead of play the fool.

Thanks for your additions.

pansophist:
Banging your head on the wall, pleading, crying, etc wont bring a girl back, if anything, it even makes her far from you. You have to understand a bit of female psychology. Men and women think differently.

A man that does all that is interpreted as beneath, no options, and of a lower value to her. Such act is an expression of lack, being not good enough for her, and that she can do better. If you've tried to get her back with reasonable actions such as admitting fault, pledging to make up and she refused, then accept that she is gone for good.

Relationship is not only about logic, but also about feelings and emotions, and more so for women. Even if you offend her, if she still have a strong deep-seated love and sees a value in you, she will stay without you begging and trashing yourself for her consideration.

Wise words. Many men in this world deserve to see more of these.

Martinez39:
Well spoken. Don't mind him. Just like a weak child, swaggzo wants sweet illusions instead of reality. Whether you like it or not, no woman can love you except what you can provide and how you make her feel (the is very secondary as what you can provide is her top priority). To a woman, a man is always a utility. Once that utility cannot perform it's duties anymore (provide), it is no longer welcomed or loved. A woman will always end up with the highest bidder she can lay her hands on. I say this not because a woman hurt me or because I learnt the hard way but because this is the reality of things and I accept reality whether it turns out to be what I like or not. In fact, I have never had a girlfriend in my life or spent money on a girl since I consider romantic relationships to be overhyped and a pure waste of time and resources.

All women are like that. Even the one that you think is good, churchy, and descent is like that. Just like true friendship, romantic love doesn't exist instead it exists only in the heads of men. Women are brutal survivalists and no matter how much you sacrificed for her, she will dump you cold without remorse when you can't provide and she has found someone else that can. Even if you donated a kidney or lost an arm to save her life in the past, you get the same thing. If she is married to you with children, have lost her sexual market value, and can't find a higher bidder, you get to face her disrespect, loathing, irritability (she gets upset and mad at you at any little thing) and nagging. It's worse when she making massive money and you are broke.

For many men, they will never learn early and in the easy way. They will wait until they learn the hard way after investing so much and close to drinking sniper. Good day.

Omar09, healthserve, CAPSLOCKED, Ubunja, astroG

Bros take it easy. You don't need insults to educate people. Insults and shaming is the number 1 cause of suicide.
You don't know how many people are on this thread looking to learn, but you're busy serving bullshït around.

dairykidd:

Sensible people are trying hard here to make u see the light u have been blinded to and here u are trying so hard to justify begging for love
Your case is pathetic i must say. She obviously doesn't love u and will never love u & if u succeed again at begging her back just be prepared to be her doormat or continue begging till u leave this earth. For u to even reason that ur actions in correcting her excesses were mistakes.... man why are u trying to hang urself naa? If na beauty abi na love or the pussie too sweet guy if u don't open ur eyes and face life for what it is u will not see a far far better option even if she's standing right before u...

You don't force love bro... it's not negotiable

She no fine
She no fair
I just believe her matter.

Nobody rugged reach for these kind of matters. But I lose guard just this one time.

Thanks for your input. Forwards, onwards.

Martinez39:
You don't want me to tell you about red pills? Now listen very well. If you had taken the red pill to know that as far as relationship is concerned, no girl is special, irreplaceable, indispensable, and the best thing to happen since slice bread, you would probably not have opened this thread. It's foolishness and degrading for a man like you to follow women to label Ubunja, myself, and others as women bashers when you clearly haven't taken time to read our messages. Isn't it stupid to cast judgement on things you know nothing of?

The fact that no woman, no matter how beautiful or educated, as far as relationship is concerned, is special, irreplaceable, indispensable, or the best thing to happen since slice bread is a common sense that weak and foolish men are yet to grab. Women are nothing special and they are just another human. There is no law in the universe that doesn't apply to them. Never, I repeat never, beg your fellow homo sapiens (especially one that you are providing for and hence needs you more than you need her), who isn't interested, to be in your life and love you. Get some sense of self respect. If a woman says she is not interested, let her go and don't beg her to stay. In fact, close the door on her for good and let her be the one to beg if she wants to come back.

Only foolish men put women on a pedestal. I know you will discard my advice like many since you love your sweet illusions of romantic love instead of reality. If you are crying, weeping, creating a scene, and rolling on the floor to beg your fellow human being to love you, you are a big fool and a disgrace to manhood. Mtewwww.



Omar09, healthserve, astroG, Ubunja, CAPSLOCKED

Una don use curse finish me.

I see the wisdom in your post amidst all the curses.
Thank you.

just4fun:
I can relate to this.

We were so closed that i felt within me that I would marry her. I guess was i still immature then to know how to go about the relationship.

She sometimes complained of her people not wanting anything to do with me based on my background. i never understood how much this was hurting her until one day when she called pouring out her heart. The response i gave wasn't helpful to her and she ended the call and that was the last called we ever heard.

Called her a thousand time and she never responded and that was when it dawned on me that i truly loved this girl.

Life goes on Bro, Got myself back after about 3 months of "crying". Fortunately for me, it was like God was reserving my present wife to come in at that moment of grief and today, Happily Married with Lovely cuties.

3 months of crying.. Wow.
I've done just a few days and my tear jar is dry.
I hesitated to create this thread. For days.
I'm glad with all these experiences you've all shared on this thread.

Forward, onwards. Thanks.

banjicom:


things will be fine bro i understand how you feel and your current situation now, because i am currently facing the same. Our stories isn't much different, i lost my relationship in the beginning of this year because my girl broke up with me for no valid reason.......Lols we dated for like only 8 months and within that 8 months we had about 6 breakup over little things that isn't worth it, apparently i was the one who was begging to keep the relationship.



i have decided to stay single on till further notice

.

Lol.. Yours 8 months. Mine will be 8 tomorrow too
But.. I think it's over now. So I engage in my hobby.. Beer drinking and watching my favorite club bottle leads. We'll be alright mate.