₦airaland Forum

PMB is a good mid fielder, with strong defenders and superb (top) striking. He is the winning term, hence everything(move) scores. Kudos.

Whom do we believe.......... Premium Times or Sen Saraki?

Walai...... He is a CHANGE (d) man. All his corruption has been washed away.

Space booked

Good news....... Thumbs up guys.

Hold your ground do not give in, this is just for while, the Almighty God in you believe in will make a way for you. Do not give in.

The change we were all clamouring for is finally here and we don't seem to comprehend it any more.

What do you guys expect, he is making allys......... But be rest assured that he will check on you soon.

They are all created by God and all of God's creation is beautiful.

Please people let them be........ Every marriage has its trying time. Cute family.... I pray they reconcile their differences on time.

Hmmmmmmmmm......... Fingers crossed.

Seriously...... Just thinking?

YOUR MARRIAGE ISN’T PERFECT

Your marriage can always be stronger, healthier and happier because you and your spouse never stop growing. So, even if you have a great marriage, it can be even greater.

WHAT MAKES IT HARD
Far too many couples today are overworked, overstressed, exhausted, and are functioning on very little emotional margin. This is one of the reasons why small issues can quickly explode into big problems leading to a pattern of frustration and confrontation.

MARRIAGE TIP #1: TRADE YOUR CRAZY PACE FOR MARITAL PEACE
When we’re rested, emotionally charged, and living life at a reasonable and healthy pace, we have the patience to deal with small issues before they turn into major problems.

So, one of the best things you can do for the health of your marriage is be proactive about your life and schedule by choosing a pace that gives you energy and emotional margin to help you better manage the small conflicts that every relationship has.

MARRIAGE TIP #2: A WORD ABOUT SPONTANEITY
We love nice surprises, don’t we. They say that spontaneity is the spice of life; and it is. When you’re rebuilding your marriage and growing your relationship with your spouse, spontaneity really helps.

BUT, spontaneity is not always helpful when we say the first thing that comes into our minds. Sometimes in a moment of spontaneity we say things that we wish we could take back later.

We’ve all been there.

A good practice is to model the policy we see major television networks using. They have a five-second delay rule that gives them time to edit any “spontaneous” developments that might be unsuitable for broadcast.

What if we had a similar policy? What if we made it a habit that we waited a couple seconds to consider what we’re about to say before we speak it? Imagine all of the arguments that could be avoided.

You don’t have to censor everything you say – just be thoughtful about what you’re about to say, ESPECIALLY if you’ve had a long, hard day at work and you’re exhausted or right on the edge of any little thing setting you off. This keeps you from blurting out hurtful words that you’ll need to apologize for later. Spoken words are a bell that cannot be un-rung.

MARRIAGE TIP #3: THE TROUBLE WITH HONESTY
I think most people would say that honesty is “the best policy” especially when it comes to building trustworthy relationships. BUT, there are ways you can “cushion” the blow. You can be blunt and raw or kind and caring.

Consider how you prefer people to honestly share with you. Chances are you appreciate it when someone communicates with you with compassion. So return the favor. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Apply this “rule” with both small matters or large, the trivial or important; always be kind. Be truthful but use words that encourage, uplift and compliment. This builds up your spouse and communicates how much you care for them and their feelings.

MARRIAGE TIP #4: THE PURPLE MONKEY SYNDROME
Years ago someone played a game with me where they told me not to think about the purple monkey. Guess what I thought about the whole time? The purple monkey!

The purple monkey distracted me from anything else that I wanted to think about because all I could think about and imagine was a purple monkey.

Well, life is filled with purple monkeys – distractions that keep us from focusing on what’s important.

Another problem with purple monkeys is that they keep us from keeping our priorities. The last thing you need is a purple monkey distracting you from making your relationship with your spouse a priority.

If your marriage is your priority, do your best to eliminate distractions. One of the primary distractions is the past. Remember, the past does not equal the future; learn from your pass and move on – don’t allow it to become a distraction.

Focus your time, energy and effort on what’s most important and on the positives of your marriage. If something needs to be addressed then address it but in an optimistic, productive way.

Lastly, one of the most dangerous purple monkeys to watch out for is the purple monkey called complaining. Complaining is a real distraction because it redirects focus to less important issues and depletes patience.

Having a no-complaint policy in your marriage is one of the best ways to rid your relationship of this crazy little purple monkey. Focus on the positives.

MARRIAGE TIP #5: YOURS, MINE, OURS
Every healthy relationship has three dimensions called: Yours, Mine and ours. Being together constantly is unhealthy. Not granting each other privacy is unhealthy, too. And there are certain things that should be yours and other things that should belong to your spouse.

Granted, you should go out of your way to make sure you have ample time with your spouse to enjoy each other. But, you should also make sure that you each have time for personal pursuits and respective friends otherwise you will end up suffocating your relationship.

Give each other some space – some breathing room. This can be one of the best things you can do for the health of your marriage.

MARRIAGE TIP #6: THOUGHTS ON PROFESSIONAL HELP
Seek out and welcome professional marriage help when you need it, especially if seems that you keep having the same old arguments and can’t get beyond certain issues. If your relationship seems bogged down and stuck, then professional marriage help can get you moving in a positive direction again.

But here’s the thing: Find a marriage counselor who shares your values and philosophy of marriage. I can’t begin to stress how important this is. For example, if you are a person of faith and religion is important to you, then it’s probably a good idea to not retain the services of an agnostic or atheist for a marriage counselor!

One last thing, it’s quite possible that you don’t need marriage counseling at all – maybe all you really need is a little more time together – distraction-free time – to evaluate your relationship and resolve minor conflicts, or time for more effective communication. As I’ve often said before on this blog, one of the best things a couple can do is schedule a long weekend get-away to renew their relationship and fortify their marriage.

At the end of the day, all it really takes (I’m by no means trying to minimize the work it takes to have a strong marriage) to go from being just plain mad to being madly in love again is for you and your spouse to decide that you won’t settle for anything less than a healthy relationship that is playful, trustworhty and filled with passion.

Use these six marriage tips to start turning your marriage around so you can enjoy a beautiful lifetime of love and happiness with your spouse.

This thread is really controversial

It is still quite early foor this kind of development.....

Nice time out....... You guys sure could use lets of it right now. Good

Man must wark........ No fond for lasy man.

..... Another thanksgiving?.......

Nice PMB but when are we expecting you back.....

Heaven and Hell in the Here and Now
by Matthew Lucio

You’re our new pastor? Well, give ’em hell!”

These were among the first words of “encouragement” that I heard when I left the seminary to begin work at my first church. The laugh that trailed my new friend’s advice clued me in to the fact that the irony wasn’t lost upon him.

It really wasn’t until that conversation that I began to wonder about how often we connect the idea of hell with our own lives.

While most people believe that no one experiences hell until sometime after death, we still insist on associating it with the present through a variety of idioms and proverbs: “War is hell,” “I’m going through hell,” “It will happen when hell freezes over,” and “All hell is breaking loose.” On the flip side, we say things such as, “This ice cream is heavenly,” and “It’s a match made in heaven.”

Our everyday language is heavily laced with statements of faith that we make without even thinking. Whatever else this phenomenon may mean, it cannot be denied that heaven and hell have a foothold on our human imagination.

Living the afterlife
But there’s also an element of truth in our unconscious habit of making the afterlife a part of this life. The Bible is clear that the choices we make now already begin to transform us as we go through each day. We are told that if we respond to God’s love, we will be like Him. “Love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the Day of Judgment, because in this world we are like him” (1 John 4:17; italics added).

Logically, we have to assume that the opposite is also true: the more we make choices apart from God, the less we will resemble Him. So, in some very real sense, the heaven or hell on our horizons begin in this life and culminate in the life to come. Going to hell isn’t an abrupt and unexpected punishment for the wicked but the logical direction of their present lives. It’s an environment of their own making, governed by their decisions.

The evidence of our choice of heaven or hell can be seen clearly. When someone claims to be a Christian, the apostle Paul tells us to expect certain “fruits” or by-products of a life committed to Christ. Among these are love, patience, and self-control (Galatians 5:22, 23). With a little reflection, we’re able to ask ourselves, “Is my life trending toward these virtues?”

There’s a conflict between good and evil on our planet, which can be understood as a battle between the principles of love and lust, selflessness and selfishness. God’s kingdom is a place where love is the governing principle. Paul put it succinctly when he said that “love is the fulfillment of the law” (Romans 13:10). In other words, the more you learn to love, the more you will act as a citizen of God’s heavenly kingdom.

Conversely, hell is a place of restlessness that results from selfishness. The book of Revelation ominously warns that those who reject God’s love are destined for hell, where “there is no rest day or night” (Revelation 14:11).

Yet this restless state begins long before we reach hell. Isaiah records in two places the truth that “there is no peace . . . for the wicked” (Isaiah 48:22; 57:21). Elsewhere he contrasts the peace of those who follow the Lord and the fact that “the wicked are like the tossing sea, which cannot rest” (Isaiah 57:20). The inspired Isaiah observed a state of restlessness that characterizes people who are actively rejecting God—long before people pass away and have their fates sealed by death.

The Bible isn’t speaking here of restlessness in the sense of not getting enough sleep the night before but of a lack of spiritual peace. Hell, according to the Bible, is a spiritual atmosphere that envelops a person the further he or she goes from God, until it finally turns into a physical reality once God fully removes Himself from the world.

Is God pro-choice?
Some Christians believe that God has predetermined in some cosmic lottery who will be in heaven and who will be in hell and that we will automatically live our lives accordingly. The Swiss Reformer John Calvin described this view in claiming that “all [people] are not created on equal terms, but some are pre-ordained to eternal life, others to eternal damnation; and accordingly, as each has been created for one or other of these ends, we say that he has been predestinated to life or to death.”

On the surface, this idea resonates with our experiences. Didn’t the apostle Paul call himself a “slave to sin” and confess that “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do” (Romans 7:14, 15)? Paul’s experience is my experience too. How many times have I fallen short of my desire to be consistently good? Is it because we were predetermined to be bad and so cannot escape a hellish life?

To reason that way, we’d have to assume that even Paul was destined for hell, and yet we can tell that his life wasn’t characterized by a restless separation from God but by the fruits of heaven: love, joy, peace, and so on (Galatians 5:22). God is “not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance” (2 Peter 3:9). In other words, it is God’s deep desire that we choose Him. In God’s perspective, hell is avoidable for everyone; it’s a path people choose to take despite God’s entreaties to the contrary.

“There are only two kinds of people in the end,” C. S. Lewis writes, “those who say to God, ‘Thy will be done,’ and those to whom God says, in the end, ‘Thy will be done.’ All [those who end up] in Hell, choose it. Without that self-choice there could be no Hell. No soul that seriously and constantly desires joy will ever miss it. Those who seek find.”

No neutrality
But the fact that heaven and hell are the result of the sum of our choices shouldn’t lead us to conclude that the earth is a perpetual fork in the road where we spend every waking moment of our lives having to make the decision which way to go. To view our lives here as neutral is to ignore the fact that “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23). The truth is that we have already decided through sin to walk away from God. The fact that God calls us to repentance assumes our hostility toward heaven.

Lewis also warns us of this fallacy in his book The Great Divorce: “Earth, I think, will not be found by anyone to be in the end a very distinct place. I think earth, if chosen instead of Heaven, will turn out to have been, all along, only a region in Hell: and earth, if put second to Heaven, to have been from the beginning a part of Heaven itself.”

We are all part of a cosmic conflict between God and Satan, between rest and restlessness. Only eternity can afford us the clarity of hindsight that will reveal fully the direction of our life choices, which perhaps we didn’t perceive in the fog of our mortality. Yet the truth is that we are all on a path either to heaven or hell, even if we cannot fully appreciate the distance of each footstep. But we can tell by the fruits of our lives whether we are increasingly restless and empty or whether we are brimming with peace and hope, saying with the psalmist: “Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him” (Psalm 34:8 ).

Why Marriages Fail:
Love Turns Into Indifference

Marriages can survive most marital problems including broken trust, lack of communication, constant fighting, money problems and more, but one of the little known reasons why marriages fail is indifference.

The old adage goes that the opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference. While hate and anger are not positive emotions, they show that you care and want your spouse to know exactly how you feel. Indifference on the other hand says “I don’t care enough to give you my time and energy.”

Indifference can be extremely deceiving. There are no heated arguments and communication is shallow but civil, which is why most couples don’t see it as a problem until it is too late.

What Causes Indifference in Marriage

Marriage requires constant care. When you stop working on your marriage, you slip into a state of indifference – which is difficult to come back from.

Indifference in marriage can also be the result of hidden hurt and resentment. It is easy not to care or feel anything when your feelings and emotions are buried under a lot of hurt. Some people even use indifference to get back at their partners for hurting them. It’s their way of saying “why should I care if you don’t.” The trouble with this is that they gradually eventually become too good at not caring.

Dealing with Indifference in Marriage

The first step to dealing with indifference in marriage is talking about it. If you are going to pull your marriage out of the rut, both of you have to acknowledge that there is a problem. You won’t get far if you are the only one who thinks there is a problem; it is why marriages fail.

One way to help your spouse realize that there is a problem is to remind them of the good times. Remind them that marriage doesn’t have to be so boring and unexciting.

Once you have acknowledged that there is a problem, try to get to the root of the indifference. Figure out what hidden hurt or resentment is overwhelming the positive feelings and emotions. Some couples are able to do this on their own while others need the help of a counselor. Deal with the underlying hurt and resentment and your positive feelings will begin to resurface.

Ultimately, the only way to go from an unhappy marriage where indifference is the norm to a happy and exciting marriage is by putting in work. The reason why marriages fail is because spouses are too apathetic to work on their marriages

Hilarious..... But kool..... Top of the day guys.

May they all rest in peace...........

blesoh:
Op let him go, don't be too desperate to rush in to something you ll regret. 5wks is not good enough to think about marriage. You are thinking about your age? Please don't someone who deserves you will come. After begging he's still giving you attitude mbok free him and next time always tell the truth. Good luck

Is this all you could say to a lady who for the better part of her 35 years have been telling lies to her would be husbands. No wonder she has remained single, even to point of her needing the help of March makers. Chronic liar........

That's it you ladies are fond of this sort of life, you present an innocent and sincere guy with a bunch of lias and when he eventually falls in love with you believing what he knows. Then you turn around to him that he is in love with the wrong person and you expect him to understand. Some ladies are wicked..... Sorry to say.

Its all over the nation why is Edo State the only State protesting.?

Truely the Igbos lost more than the civil war..... They lost everything even their right to speak for themselves. Only God knows how long they will remain slaves in Nigeria. Sorry my people take heart and stop arguing with the sw. They wrote the script but offcuz you can not win and there is nothing you can do about it.

This is becoming serious and interesting.... Keeping my finals crossed.

Truely proud of you guys...... Keep the beaming clear.

Please you guys should not break my heart, you guys are my special couple and I would not want to hear that seperated, cuz I believe you can surmount what ever challenge you are facing together.