₦airaland Forum

blackboot:
hmmmm,so what should i do

You say she has a better job and she is willing to support you.What else are you waiting for?If you are waiting till you start earning hundreds of thousands,then let her go and marry someone else.
You don't have to have an expensive wedding.Just do something lowkey and live your life.
Have this discussion with her on how you can get married but have a very lowkey ceremony.

NL1960:
What better ways?. I hope you know that the money is not a bulk money at once. It has to accumulate over time. So, if one is putting 10k into such an account, that comes to 120k at the end of one year. So, what better ways can you invest 120k?.

Well I'm not a financial expert but I know for instance that instead of putting money into a savings account,you can buy government bonds.
N120k is not too little to invest.

raumdeuter:
So what happens if you no longer work or school together and dont have that companionship anymore or another closer companion comes into the picture

The love will fizzle.We're talking about people who want to spend their life together however and they will keep the fire burning- maintain communication continually and make efforts to be in contact with each other.

raumdeuter:
What are examples of reasons people fall in love that you think cannot fade or change over time or with circumstances?



Thats why IMO getting married because of "Love alone" a feeling is not enough. Having common goals and mutually agreeable principles is even more important

People can fall in love out of friendship.Companionship can breed love.You work together or school together and love develops.If that is the case,that kind of love can last forever.

Well done.'She did not cry,she did not complain'. Na beta talk be dat.

I'm proud of the girl.More girls should speak up.

freecocoa:
This love thing sef, my own is that, what happens if the person you are loving stops loving you? Omo that thing dey fear me o.

The question is why did the person fall in love in the first place and are they conditions(which may have made the person fall in love in the first place)that could change over time?

Don't let it the reason be the booty.

Onegai:
Nah, if you guys had been on the Newborn thread in Health section a few weeks back, we had a robust discussion, complete with expert advice from people in the financial/insurance world, on how to invest the money rather than leaving it in a Savings account to be earning a meagre 1 to 3% interest. There's more you can do with that money and I believe most of the parents there have diversified their kids' savings.

Onegai,you don't want banks to 'see' money?

On a serious note,there are better ways to invest the money.

bukatyne:
Divorce seems to be a flimsy thing in Saudi.

Very flimsy

She's just a young girl whose feelings are unsettled at her age,probably infatuated.
You're matured enough to leave her if you want to.I wonder why that is a problem for you.What happened to your colleagues at work na Op?

The guy try.I hope his family can really accept her and her inadequacies.

What is the production of this missile meant to positively achieve?End hunger or eradicate HIV?

Justice
His family should be compensated.

Sorry man.The society should war against hoodlums.

Maaamaaa:
I just talked to him about waiting till I give birth but he said it's now or never. That he has made up his mind about the marriage whether there's love or not.

The love is not very strong now but it will grow.

He said the loan is making him think too...

The love will grow and yet he treats you this way?

I know you want the marriage because it will make you a Mrs and put you in a family but you'll end up getting frustrated later.

Young ladies of this generation!

Ka Chineke mezie okwu.

I know this agbada is trending but thruth be told,it looks odd everytime I see a woman dorn it.

cheekyleggy:
I dont like agbada on women. yuck!

It doesn't make sense.

Missolivea:
Single not lonely

Okay.You shouldn't even be considering this but I guess there are people who need someone to hold them by the hand.
Let me hold you by the hand and lead you away from him.If you're still a student face your studies and if you work,develop your career and personality.The right man you say you want will come.Find a man of integrity and good character.It will give you peace.
If I may ask,how old are you?

wellstryme:
We live in a family house..It is okay thanks though it will gets easy soon,I will soon leave the house for them.

Since it's a family house,your best bet is to wait till you leave the house.You can keep working on him as an elder anyway.

wellstryme:
We live together,I don't think I can change him,he is 16 and still doesn't know the class he is in,by God's grace I was already out of high school when I was 16

Have you tried?Some people need someone to give them that push.
Get him to wash his clothes and iron.Get him to sweep and clean.Give him instructions.If he doesn't change after some time,then you can send him to his father.

wellstryme:
I have steps other sisters and brothers and they have kids,their children and I are very close,some of them live in Lagos Island and some in US Carlifornia,understand now?

You still haven't answered the question.Are you living alone with him or you all stay together in a family house?

You said he's very dirty in one of your comments.Can you change him by teaching him how to be clean.Can you work on him in other areas you think he needs to step up?

Missolivea:
No na. I mean that should I go ahead with it, it will likely be lonely years ahead

Girl,are you lonely now?

Only him can make the decision to break the addiction.
He must be ready to delete porn from his phone and laptop.He should communicate his sexual needs with you and try to work together for a mutually beneficial satisfaction.

Missolivea:
Really I don't know. I don't know how God makes a man who for you, for whom you will have to weep your eyes out every night. That part I don't get

I don't understand the bolded.Does this abroad guy make you cry?

Missolivea:
Like I said I don't want to marry for the wrong reasons, not for janding opportunity or hard currency and I know that there's a man out there that God made me for

Do you think this man abroad is the one God made for you?

Missolivea:
My dear. I know some people do it. Was wondering whether they had some valid reasons. Its good to ask questions sometimes before one will think one is being too difficult

The major reasons they do it is because they get money from abroad(nothing like hard currency ),they dream of going there and they are jonsing(don't have suitors here in Nigeria).
Is that your situation too?

Winneygirl:
Sorry. I don't get it.
.
I am still trying to find the link in these. Your house, Eba, Rice, leftover, step children, US California and not wanting him to feel left out.

Lol
Op,make your story clearer.Do you live alone with this guy or you stay in the family house?

Missolivea:
I don't want to marry for the wrong reasons at all

For you to even give his proposal a thought shows you probably don't know what you want.
He's into illegal business,lives with a woman already,doesn't have legal papers to stay and that's the kind of man you want?

Titilayooni:
it just shows that Men are wicked...if it was the woman that had issues,the story won't end like that. Abegi

Why have you arrived at the bolded?

That Ikorodu looks like a high risk area.The government should do something about it.

You should have left him when he kept beating you.What kind of marriage would you have had anyway?
Now you've got jail.

A lot of mothers do this and it's wrong.They kiss and tongue play with their babies as a way of having fun.

5minsmadness:
I'm not responsible for what some people interprete from a visibly innocuous and romantic story. A ladyfriend of mine was inspired by it and forwarded it to my group. Everyone in the group, male and female alike thought it was a wonderful story depicting the strength of forgiveness and why one shouldn't make hasty decisions. I was particularly touched as it stressed what I have been preaching over the past few weeks on love and forgiveness even when a partner hurts you deeply. So I thought to post it on my other online groups, all of whom received it warmly and some (male and female) who asked for permission to share. It was a great inspiration for many of us this morning.

It is only on nairaland that a set of women do not see anything good in what certain people post, and would rather see the bad in everything. Their cup of tea. I cant imagine what living in their head will be like. But if dwelling on such negative things and squeezing the bitterness out of the most innocent of stories gives them joy, good for them!

I actually see a story that inspires patience and longsuffering even though there are some aspects of it that are questionable.The woman's mumuness in keeping quiet when she saw results of the man's tests and taking all that ill-treatment when abused.Why keep quiet?That's not patience.
The man's nastinesss too doesn't cut it.If you treat my daughter or sister that way especially when there are fertlity issues,I might take her away from you.If the pro lem is with the man,then it makes it worse.