₦airaland Forum

Pamelayoung:
Guy u'r mean

I'm not mean,I'm actually far from being called a mean person.Compassionate is apt to describe me.

But I don tire for girls to dey get belle.There are just so many ways to prevent pregnancy and they're not that costly.

Dyt:
You see
They ignored me

We're ready to help you but I hope you know you will be verified.

Can you provide your grandmother's birth certificate?Original o.

Sanchez01:
The Problem isn't about her past but about how a one time life-loving lady with an average command of the English language would suddenly become one who cannot string sentences and know her tenses. Maybe I'm the one seeing things from this angle.

Hmm,that raises questions.

5minsmadness:
Pregnant, sick, toddler, starving, wicked men, wicked mother, everybody wicked, got pregnant again (to a mam with not one but four(4) failed marriages), more wickedness from previously loving man, suicide, suicide,



And then no bank account.

Hey, this lady that always addresses me without quoting me. I agree with you for once.


You guys (sic. Mizmycoli) should take a break from this emotional rollercoaster and calm down. Oga thorpido or whoever should verify her story. Personally i think its more than 50% lies. But i could be wrong.

It could be a lie but it could also be true.
A lot of girls get themselves into bad shapes especially when it comes to pregnancies with the 'pregnator' nowhere to be found.I know because every week,there's a girl asking to have an abortion.

Setaje:
So u dey stay ikotun

Not Ikotun but somewhere not far from that axis.

Onegai,yea.Ante-natal is N10,000 to register.

Moji,if it's okay by you,I could meet you tomorrow morning at Igando.If your story is real- pregnant etc,I'll get you registered at the Gen hospital.We can take it up from there.
You will come with your passport or photocopy,evidence of having a baby(his birth certificate,pictures) and otrher relevant things.

Hmmm,you said someome gave you pregnancy in South Africa and you haven't even sorted yourself out before getting pregnant again?Na wa!

Anyway,give further details about your condition and location if you are for real.

When you eventually deliver this baby,I'm interested in putting you on family planning contraception.

see traffic

CSTR2:
na who do you this thing?
You just want me to school you sha even when I don't want to.
Easy and straight forward does not mean cheap. You were the one that condensed my statement into a ''bride price''' narrative, not ME.

Now you're being evasive.
Watch your comment next time before you hit submit.

CSTR2:
You have a low IQ bro.
Easy and straightforward means what it means. It does not mean cheap.

Ask your Yoruba brothers that married Igbo women, they would tell you the difference.

You're obviously not an intelligent person.If you had stopped your comment with the bolded you probably would have gotten away with it.Tell me what is NOT easy and straight-forward about the igbo girl?
The second part of your comment simply gives you away with what you imply.
See someone talking about IQ.

Impress me by telling me the full meaning of IQ.I didn't say you should google o.

CSTR2:
Well,Igbos guys are not the ones salivating over the prospect of marrying Yoruba women .
Not because they are not beautiful, but because it is no big deal. Marrying a Yoruba woman is pretty easy and straight-forward, no offense to my Yoruba damsels.
And when we go for Yoruba women, we go for the absolute stunners.

What do you mean easy and straight-foward?You think asking for a high bride price makes the girl 'hard'?

You mentality though.

Haaaaa miss.She don join dem.
Husband scarce.

Why keep original papers in a car?
I wish you a quick recovery of your car.

TR1212:
first line in bold WAS almost impossible. i had an official line that must be available 8am to 8pm. if i begin to respond to the second line in bold, i will write an epistle. All i can say is, THANK YOU

Well,you will have to deal with this stuff for a long time since your line is open to the public.Learn to develop a humourous side to it and learn to use punch lines like Onegai said.Make statements like,'you should be rushing home,your wife is waiting' or 'your child wants to see daddy before he sleeps' etc Don't encourage long communications.

Be prayerful too.Your own man will find you.Jer.29:11

TR1212:
@ thorpido, true. But i have changed base twice in the last 5 years to different state with this problem following me.

I can guess Lagos is one of those states.States that are metropolitan have a higher percentage of fun seekers so you will expect to find a lot of men like you meet.It's not a problem with you,it's a problem with the society.

I'm sure a lot of women get hit on a lot in Abuja and you won't be the first.
Like you said,most of the men are met in your line of duty so they know you a bit,that you are single and think you are a good catch to have fun with.I'm sure all those men want is just the fun.

It shouldn't be so hard to deal with this.Just ignore them if they make passes,decline to give your number and generally cut off the attention.
I think what bothers you more however is the fact that you are not getting a single guy to commit.Apart from your workplace,where do you hang out?Do you just go home after work and have little extracurricular activities.You will need to make yourself more visible for potential suitors.

Time flies.I still remember when they were born.

Funjosh:
Very challenging especially when they are in pain and you can't do nothing or know how they are feeling

Yes o.It's not a pleasant sight when they are in a crisis.

^^^ Halucinating like the teenager.

Teenagers are getting into drugs too early.This one is hallucinating.

ChessEnthusiast:
Good question. Not every relationship leads to marriage. She was a good girl no doubt, but our priorities were different. After NYSC, I wanted to further my education. I got a scholarship for my masters while she wanted to settle down. As a young guy, I didn't even want to hear marriage. I was like no money, no job. My Msc took me away from her. Even after MSc, I still wasn't ready for anything marriage. I wanted to hustle, get a job, work for while before thinking of settling down. She was a little older than me. I was 22 then I think, and she was 25. I didn't care about the age difference trust me. After a while, we kept in touch, and distance took its tolls on our relationship. We stopped talking gradually and then it was obvious to both of us that the relationship has hit a rock bottom.
Am I happy to write this? Hell No! We both learnt our lessons. Relationship transcends beyond love and affection. The terms of the relationship must be defined from the very outset. Find out what are your plans? Are your plans in resonance frequency? Are your priorities the same? is the age gap appropriate? etc
As someone who doesn't bite the hands that feed, I reciprocate all her good deeds in extreme measures. We jammed once again in lag, both I already had another gf with a level of committment. we became friends again, reunited and reminisced about the good old days. She was still unemployed and her beauty has declined (she's still beautiful though) but one could tell that hardship and depression had taken its tolls on her due to her unemployment status. she's working now though but with little pay. I helped her in my own little way and gave her some amount of money to start something. I also bought her a phone recently when I noticed her phone was in bad shape.
I ain't trying to paint myself as an angel, but what I do know about myself is that i made mistakes but I did a lot to make up for them.
cc: EfemenaXY

Good one.It's true not every relationship leads to marriage and it can be hard like in your case because she wanted marriage and you needed to sort out career and finances first.
Distance also took its toll on your relationship.You're an honest guy though.
She sounds like a good girl too and i wonder why she hasn't been snatched up yet.

EfemenaXY:


Two things: he either goofed up, or inter tribal related issues caused the break up.

Must be.Chessenthusiast,I hope you didn't run because of bride price?

Ghastly!! That vehicle was badly damaged.The driver and any front passenger could not have survived it.

ChessEnthusiast:
I get your points. I have had my own fair share of wonderful chicks that I began to question whether they came from another planet. I was inquisitive about the reason why it was like that. Most confessed that they were attracted to my intelligence and that I was ambitious. I was career driven and will also go an extra length to fetch money from a side business either mostly through tutorials cos I had a flair for teaching. If I tell you how I had my first kiss, you won't believe it. It was during my nysc, a corper lady dragged me inside her room and gave me the kissing of life for no reason. Damn! It was good. we ended up dating and she was one of the best thing that ever happened to me. Her love was for real, but there was something in me that got her attracted to me..I taught physics and further maths during my NTSC. she taught integrated science, she would always asked me science inclined questions and they way I articulate my answers impresses her. she would bring tough GMAT questions to me, and I'd dissect it like kilode...i play chess, swim etc and people call me coach.
All these got her attracted to me.
Ladies like success and will flock to your side when things are going well, it doesn't mean that some if them do not love you genuinely. Like the aforementioned lady. she's igbo. Her love was real. she cared so much about me. A lady all the corner guys would kill to date, I got her on a platter. Can we still say there were no strings attached. of course, they were but they were good strings which boils down to my argument that no girl loves anyone for no reason. There's usually a reason.
My current girl friend -another wonderful creature has been a source of joy to me. She was the girl that made it possible for me to be earning mid six digits now cos I wasn't taking the interview serious because I had an offer from a multinational oil company. so I was lackadaisical about it. she encouraged me and gave me reasons why I should prepare well for the interview, she begged me. I said okay and obeyed.
This was pre oil crash era. Oil price fell and hit this company. of course, they couldn't afford to bring me in at the agreed date. they kept on shifting the date until a year passed. but I had gotten the offer from the second company and they were even better being that they do not do servicing but operate some assets. This was possible due to my girl friends advice and support. The other company called me two years later, I posted them around and then rejected their offer. I love revenge though. just to get back at them.
Now, the curious me started finding what my gf likes about me. of course, it was still the same thing other ladies had told me - intelligence and career focus. Can we say there are no srings attached.
In as much as I love my gf front and back, there are strings attached. She must keep fit, romantic and continue to offer valuable advise and support as she does while I reciprocate the kind gestures. I had reciprocated by paying her msc tuition fee.
The case might be different abroad, but in naija here and other climes in most of the cases, no unconditional love.
It's not a bad thing, it's just human nature.
Unconditional love is a myth, even god's love is conditional.

Wetin happen wey u come checkmate the corper lady?

missjo:
It's better not to take comments online too seriously,this male versus female thing I see here isn't exclusive to nairaland funny enough. Visit other forums populated by South Africans, British, or Americans, there's always some sort of war going on and this is why I believe most of it is done deliberately to hurt the opposite sex which going by the complaints here, seems to be working.

You've got a good partner like I'm sure you do,and I've got a good man in my life, why then should comments from people I'm not married to or dating cause me so much distress.
I see all the back and forth,most of the time I laugh it off and forget about it all once I close the nairaland tab on my browser.

True talk
However @ bolded,it has affected some people so much they de-activated their accts.

chibuzorAbia:
Inter tribal marriages are worse when disaster like a job loss occurs.

Have you got statistics to prove this?

Onegai:
You don't get, I started counting threads a while back bashing women or telling them to change for the better. Then I tried comparing it to threads extolling women. The ratio was 10: 0. Not one male moniker thought to say "hey, we have great women", it was all just insults and putting down in nasty and petty manner.

They don't even realise how bad is to constantly feed yourself negative ideas about a gender, it means when you eventually do get married, you will go in thinking it is a battlefield, that every little issue will become an avenue for a vicious fight. With that mindset, your marriage is dead on arrival. You cannot keep saying "she is evil and bad" and then think you will meet a pretty girl, marry her and one day NOT say the same thing about her. You are what you consume.

Do you know I met some guys on NL who are married and they said they're disgusted by Family section guys? I've met 3 now who call them "small boys" and one went to say I should stop coming to this section because my mind would be poisoned.

No-one is saying the blogger's friend's wife didn't do wrong, all we are saying is "why is it only the wife, only the mother we hate everytime?" Even on Child Molestation threads, they will blame the mother of the victim and random girls for not agreeing to sleep with the perpetrator. On a Domestic Violence thread, it is the victim's fault for marrying a wife beater and annoying him, oh she must have been chasing his money and didn't see "them good guys". On the thread where the NYSC guy's mother sold akara or food to send him to school, filled with comments like "our girls cannot do this". There are so many women contributing positively to their families, they are not celebrated, but the menfolk go on to publicly "try and teach them and hope they will hear word".

It's madness.

I agree it's bad and that was why I made that statement of singing the song,'where is the love'.I was actually asking the MEN where the love is because i've observed the bashing and putting down of women and I understand the frustrations and anger that comes with it and the reactions of the ladies to it.

Family section used to be for matured and married people but a lot of boys who probably moved from romance section have infiltrated the section and that's the reason for a lot of childish and irrational comments.I want to believe some do it just for some evil fun,the same way they do tribal bashings.However,overal it's still a bad thing because it could poison some impressionable young readers who might think it's cool to treat women with disrespect.

Ujoan:
But heaven sees it all. If the woman was irrational to leave, let her pay for her actions. But if she was right to leave, may God grant her the strength to stand strong and ignore the busy bodies.

This right here.


The comments on this thread tho.

The average Nigerian woman is up in arms.


#singing where is the love....

What kind of arrangement have you and your husband gotten yourself into?If you were staying in the BQ of a big mansion,it would be understandable.

It's either you convince your husband to get a flat while he completes his house or you resign yourself to your present status which will bring a lot of resentment and eventually quarrels in the future.

Sheer wastage of life.

Poverty,illiteracy and religious extremism.

Did Muhammed really meet the True Angel Gabriel?
Op,you should be more interested in this.Paul has left the earth.You shouid worry about your own salvation!