₦airaland Forum

RZArecta:
JEALOUSY he has paid his dues, let him enjoy himself in peace abeg

What's jealousy here?Don't you know Amokachi's story?
There are people who have lived like him in the past and it's a different story later- Mike Tyson,MC hammer etc

Op,maybe you should change your title to something like,'how women are longsuffering and put up with a lot of bullshit from men'.
If this thread is to extol women's virtues,I don't think your title is okay from the comments made so far.

femi4:
That guy don over invest for real estate for lag. He is a lagosian and very close to Tinubu.

Okay o.Politics money is good.He can use that influence.

Consider a medical fact that during the monthly menstrual periods, pregnancy periods, the pre-natal, ante-natal and post-natal periods, of women, the physiological and psychological changes that occur in women may not make them effective in the position of leadership during that period. Of what essence is terminal and ineffective leadership? Islam is a very practical and pragmatic religion that offers answers to every question.

What of women in leadership positions-presidents,governors,bank executives?Dem no they menstruate or no dey born?
I think the above is just an excuse.

The woman's hands are not clean.

End time pastors sha.They have turned counselling to something else.

Na him money.

Truth be told,Obafemi is a spendthrift and i just wonder what he will be like when he is old.

k4kenny:
Fertility tests on women involved a lot of painful, expensive and invasive procedures. All the man has to do is jerk off in a cap. Fertility tests should be carried on the man first before subjecting the woman to the rigorous ones.

But then again, this is Africa, once a couple is unable to conceive, immediately all fingers are pointed to the woman.

#sigh

You're right,the tests on women are invasive and expensive.
The fact however remains that most cases of infertility are due to issues with the woman.It's not an African thing,it's biological.

eyinjuege:
This is a true story.
A man who knew he had a low sperm count got married without telling his wife.
After several years, he came to his Dr all excited and said he came to repeat his speem count test to find out If God had finally done it, because his wife was finally pregnant. The test was repeated, and he was still found to have a low sperm count.
Of course, he couldn't do anything and just went back home. When the wife gave birth, the Dr was also invited for naming ceremony.
Two years later, the Dr was invited again for naming of the twins newly born by the wife.
The man of course had no choice but to keep his cool, the wife still oblivious that the husband was aware of her indiscretions. Of course the wife must have also decoded of his sterility issues, but did intention it.
I didn't pity the man though, because he's always known of his problem before getting married.
Another true story:
A couple had been trying to conceive. The man was found to have no sperm. Of course he told his wife, they raised money together, went abroad , saw a urologist who found out all he needed was a minor surgery. This was done, with the help of IVF they both have their own children.
Of course not all cases of low or no sperm count can be sorted by surgery or medicines, but letting your spouse know is ideal, so you can both decide on other options like getting sperm donors and doing ivf.

If a couple is trying to conceive,usually it's the woman who is subjected to tests first.If after running tests on the woman and the results are good,the torch should be shone on the man.
Why would a couple trying to conceive wait for years without the man undergoing tests?

As a couple,you both should know where the problem is so you can both deal with it.
In many cases,the men don't subject themselves to tests and the women have to bear the burden of barreness.As a woman,if you get tested and you are all clear,na to drag your hubby go hospital.

mhizAnnie:
Lol
After u

Okay o.
Ejowokeoghene

Woruru mamo

mhizAnnie:
I think that should be the couple's decision...I'm not expecting anything..didn't play any role in the conception of either set of twins...lol
Just let them be

You should let the thread be.

Where is the pleglancy?

mhizAnnie:
Ur negative comment called my attention
U should be genuinely happy for someone

Like I said,there is nothing negative about it.I'm a poplulation control advocate.
Two sets of twins and you expect another pregnancy?What if it turns out to be a set of triplets this time.Note that even if they can afford to take care of them,population explosion affects us all.

mhizAnnie:
did she complain that it's too much for u to nau advice? Or she doesn't know about it?
Oghenebikoooo

Did she ask you to be her mouthpiece?
Sai!

mhizAnnie:
Jesu Ovie!!!
Is she complaining?
Can't u be genuinely happy for her without negative thoughts or comments?

Ogenekaro!!
What's negative about my comment?
Is there something wrong with a family planning advise?

AuroraB:
How about the man getting 'snipped'

It could be the man too.They should go on family planning.

She should go and have her tubes tied.

If them catch you dey snap?

Amelian:
I truly feel for your situation op, but will every mother and kids starts begging online again??
Everybody is going through one issue or the other financially... It's not that it's so rosy for everyone. And your husband, why did he leave you and his kids alone to go squat somewhere else...must almost everybody beg What's this forum turning into sef

Her case may be genuine or not,it however encourages others to open similar threads such as this.
Please before anyone else comes here to open a thread like this,seek help from your church/mosque,family members,neighbours and co-workers before opening a thread.

You live at Ijebu Ode?Is your husband not working?

Ishilove:
Thorpido, please I sent you a PM

Replied

Thank God for her life.May the Lord continue to sustain her.

EfemenaXY:
Looks photoshopped to me.

And even if it's true, she looks transgendered. Besides, the pics clearly depict who's in charge. The poor guy's in trouble.

Lol,she's not a transgender.She's just someone whose beauty is 'hidden'.

The wedding is real but is obviously for green card.

^^^ I guess funny is the only word I can find right now too.

moji26:
hi Sir, Tanx for ur concerns towards me, I appreciate it sir, my mum ve come around to support me, the guy ve not been yielding anything, so I think it's best if we leave ourselves for good, now, just looking forward to help myself and my kids and take care of my pregnancy, I wanted to call u back Sir, I saw ur missed call, bt I dnt ve airtime to reach u Sir, so I tgink it's best if I reach out from here, thanks again sir

Good thing reconciliation with your mom is working.
Every other thing will work fall into place in a matter of time.
Just continue to cooperate with your mom.

Only thing I'll say is why do people not go on contraceptives when they have had a baby?
It's always a hard decision to keep the baby though.

How are we so sure she tried to abort?She may have fallen into early labour and died from complications.

I could be wrong though.

Like tearoses said,I can't see any pampering here o.

megawax8:
Una good evening o.

To everyone that has been of help one way or the other, may God continue to bless y'all. Some Nairalanders do have a large heart. (Cc thorpido;caveatemptor, et all)

Please, just a comment.

I want to suggest that any line of action to be made should be done in total agreement with the mother or perhaps after proper notification has been given to her. This is to avoid the awkwardness that could arise in the process of rendering help.

First, what if the mother has reasons she wouldn't support for her to open a bank account hence the reason she's holding back on giving the utility bill only for some group of strangers to come and override her authority in the name of 'help'?

Second, except you've established communication with me, I wouldn't just permit my child to go off at odd hours or even any hour if he/she is under my watch to meet up with some stranger. (It wouldn't be too hard for a Nigerian parent to suspect rituals).

Or God forbid, something goes wrong, who do you think I'd arrest?

She should be in the know of everything from plans to actions(account opening, ante natal, beauty shop, mentoring, therapy, all).

Except we've agreed the mother is out to frustrate her hence our efforts.

#Just a suggestion.

I don't think anything can be done without the mother's knowledge.It's the reason why the account opeing stuff today didn't work because the mother didn't allow her meet up with the guy who wanted to assist.
I wouldn't want to use the word frustrate but the mother is definitely limiting whatever action she wants to take now and understandably,she wants her to first get a grip on herself and cooperate with her.
Hopefully,by the end of this weekend some things would have been sorted and she can make progress.

chizobamgbume:
Gbam!! Imagine waiting for someone to take her to bank for an account opening. Orishirishi

She doesn't have a utility bill to open the account,not that someone has to take her there.

fluxbush:
Argument kwa? Have you ever seen how contractors act when they are pursuing juicy contracts? They will never raise their voices or be caught in an argument against the ones giving out the contracts. That is when you see a rich man prostrating with his tongue licking the ground,all because he wants that contract. The emphasis here is humility. Which is something this lady completely lacks and instead dishes out large doses of pride and haughtiness. She came on here begging for help. That action alone disqualifies pride. People have followed her case up with a barrage of calls and chats,yet you say she engages in arguments when she is ruffled. Haba! Who does that? Even if some people's comments might annoy her, for the sake of the help she claims she needs, common courtesy demands she keeps quiet and make her point known in a courteous way,instead of gingering.
As far as I see, all she wants and expects is cool hard cash. She didn't expect everyone to get so involved to the extent of speaking with her mum,which is why she is gingering. Una don spoil market for am.
Compare her attitude and that of the other nursing mother in the other thread who had to codedly send her kid to feed off her neighbours. That is what a good mother does. If that lady had a badly damaged tablet to sell, she for don do am tey tey.
I am not trying to dismiss or downplay all the help you ve rendered so far. You ve proven to be a rare human indeed. But I don't think she needs any help at all. The help she needs is in her. If she had put her back into working hard from the moment she had her test results,she would have saved enough for ante natal care. Giving her money and 'encouraging' her will only prove to her that with a little tears and some tantrums,she can always get her way. Life proves otherwise.

The arguments are usually with her mom.Their reconciliation is still a work in progress.
She needs help,maybe not financial as the ultimate.She's definitely someone who needs people to help her turn her life around.

fluxbush:
I have followed this drama from day one and I am starting to get really pissed. What is all these abeg? Why should she even be gingered? Does this lady realise she has it better than most people out there? She has a roof over her head,she is educated, she has relatives ready to put up with her shit,she has an acquired skill and she even has an old lady acting as a part time nanny.. What else does she want for crying out loud?
I can't even believe there are people here trashing Onegai for her comments. If we can be truly honest with ourselves,this Moji girl has done nothing so far to warrant any soft words or petting from anyone. She even lied about her being so sick and practically starving. Now someone else has revealed that she is the obstinate type which we all know do not change overnight. Something Onegai has been hammering on from the get- go. Abeg,enough of the sentiments. Onegai isn't commanding or dictating. She is only saying the truth as it is. Alas,we are used to sugarcoating everything that when the ugliness is thrown at us, we cringe in disgust.
Madam Moji,work on your self. Most mothers in rural areas,at your age and in your condition, still go to farm and do other 'manly' jobs. You have no right to expect help from others, even your mother. She don try for you already.

What I mean by gingered is when she has had an argument with someone and is ruffled.
Yes,she doesn't need to be pampered.

ifyalways:
Ok, good.
So our action plan for next week are :
Register for ante natals
Start working at mama's shop.
Still try to reach the baby daddy.

Sounds like a good one. Welldone. I'll contact you regarding the ante natal registration fees.

Yes,this is what we want to do.
Alright@bolded.