₦airaland Forum

It depends on what part of Lagos you reside.Go to a General Hospital close to you and ask if they have a Heart-to-Heart centre.If they have,they will do the counselling and testing for you there.

'And no wonder,for even satan disguises himself as an angel of light.....'2 Corinthians 11:14

White garment church though.

Pelupelu:
it is from one leg to the other...what sitting position do u suggest...thanks

It's the pressure of the baby on your pelvis.Try and sit on chairs that are firm but not soft.Also sit erect everytime.You can be on pain relievers but it's only temporary because you can't totally eliminate the pain until the baby is born.

5minsmadness:
What do you mean by the bolded?
Are u saying there is no reason why the man cheats?
Are u saying it's genetic or something?
You make it sound like she had no control over the matter, like even the man has no control over the matter, 'a man that will cheat will cheat' what does that even mean?

A lot of people on this forum have always said African men are polygamous in nature.Many men say they can't eat only one type of soup all their life.
I have been around guys long enough to know that they cheat just because they want a different kitty-kat than the one they have always had.
The lady has no control over it but the man has total control and that is why he cheated.

fem29:
Yes they probably have a deep freezer but Is there electricity

It shouldn't be so bad that they wouldn't have light once in three days.

fem29:
The problem is, is there light to preserve cooked food for more than 1 day. Do they have a generator and fuel that can carry freezer.

They should get a deep freezer if they can afford it.The deep freezer can keep food for days.

Pelupelu:
thanks 4 d response..no fall , no accident..am 32 weeks twin pregnant.. I Av bin taking calcium and pain reliever but it nt relieving.

How do you feel the pain?Is the pain shooting down one of your legs or both?
I think you may be having neuralgia.Just be careful with the back.Don't bend to do work and be careful how you sit.
Tell your doctor to review the analgesics you are taking.

Op,sorry about your situation.A lot of women ask themselves what they did wrong when things like this happen.You didn't do anything wrong.A MAN THAT WILL CHEAT WILL CHEAT.

I will like to say that you shouldn't monitor your husband but you should close-mark him.It is easy for a man to stray if he feels he is not closely watched.Women who say they don't touch their husband's phone,it is to your disadvantage.My wife uses my phone to browse and sometimes flip through pictures.It is good for me cause it helps me to caution myself.I be human being too.

Please consider your children and your family.Your life is not worth taking because of a cheating husband.
Take your time to heal and ask yourself if you can forgive your hubby.Let him do a health screening so you are sure he has a clean bill of health.

chokolee12:
Don't let it bother u for once! [b]Men aren't worth it [/b]just move on with ur life life is fun no time to waste. Mingle nd flex it

Don't judge all men with your experiences.There are good and faithful men.

Pelupelu:
Goodafternoon house, pls I av bin feeling pains in my leg 4 a while and it affect d way I walk(I limp) pls help wat can I do.

it depends on what caused the pain in the leg.Did you have a fall or an accident in the past?
What part of your leg do you have the pain?

ahnie:
Yeah around my waistline.this week/next according to scan.

Sorry about the miscarriage you had earlier.
You are close to delivery so it's possible to have contractions any moment from now.Just watch to see if there is a consistency and the frequency.

ahnie:
Gudmarwin Doc(thorpido)i had mild contraction yesternite,but it was a swift one.

Are you sure it was contractions?If I may ask when is your E.D.D.?

Orishirishi.

FOR1234:
arried women in d house.....please how do u cope with house chores,nursing ur baby, building a career, ur job and business......whoops all the aforementioned are sometimes killing,mostimes am on d move all day, gat to wake up as earlier as possible to prepare meal for my family and rush out again before 8am only to come back and resume home work.......d idea of getting a maid is out cos we have decided no third party.....is anyone in my shoes....how do u cope cos dis is affecting my family
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Lady,if you have a husband who doesn't help much around the house,there is no way you won't need a help.
If you don't want a live-in househelp then get people who would come in to do the housecleaning.Also try to do bulk buying and cooking of food so your husband just does the warming.He should be able to take care of that.

Don't breakdown by trying to be a superwoman.

*you forgot to add that you still have to do bedroom service.

Doveheart:
The man has convinced her that his harmless conversation with his gf is simply harmless and he later begged her and even sent thier 2 daughters to beg her, but she keeps on saying the memory cannot make her to involve in any intimate thing with her husband again, for almost 5 months now, they have not had intercourse and the husband comes visiting every week end from his work station.

They should both go and see a marriage counsellor.
If the marriage is not making a headway,maybe they should involve their family members.The relationship cannot go on like this.If the woman will not yield after all said and done,maybe they should consider going their separate ways.

Doveheart:
Thank you for your prumpt response, The wife actually does not see it as false accussation, she actually accused the husband of atempted child ritual-one of thier child and, infidelity because she stumbled on a phone flirty but harmless conversation of her husband and her female friend.

The allegations in bolded cannot just be unfounded.Something must have pointed to it.The phone flirting is enough proof that the man is not innocent.
It's the responsibility of the man to convince her.He should be honest with her and ask for forgiveness and if the wife can forgive,they should work together to move the marriage forward.

I hope they can work it out.

Yezzir:
Yea thats true. What do you mean by offline? Im relatively new to the forum.

On phone or via email.

bukatyne:
They should jail him extra for such unintelligent lie

How can a 10yr old girl drag a 26yr old man and rape him

Imagine she put my manhood into her vj.

You mean the girl removed his trousers, laid down and dragged him on her to insert the manhood?

And in all that time he couldn't overpower her?

A 10yr old boy cannot even rape a 26yr old lady.

That wife is sicker than her husband.

He should get a 2count charge.One for rape and the other for stupid statement of defense.

ahnie:
EDD date drawing closer...please juzzybae and the rest,i need words of encouragement.what should i do and is it gonna be painful.i have bn pleading with my child to take it easy with me.

Do not fret.You are a woman and your body was created to birth a child.Just speak words of victory everyday as you hug your belly.
Exercise everyday.Try to walk some distance.If your hubby is around,he should help to keep that area 'oiled' at least once in 3days.You don't have to do much.Just lie on your side or kneel if you can and he does it.

Labour is painful,i can't deceive you but you'll get over it and it will be a story.

^^^She's a very stupid woman.How do you go about chasing money without paying attention to your family?If you knew such was happening,why would you still keep your daughters with such a psycho?
She should be punished with the man.

That Rafiu Idowu is such a stupid guy.He should get a dirty slap for that statement he made.'She dragged me into the room'.Sickening.

[quote author=Yezzir post=34305407][/quote]Whatever it is,you won't be the first person to have the experience.it has happened and you just have to move on with your life.
Would you like to talk offline?

ClassicQueen:
Thanks for the advice but i dont even have an ankara skirt and blouse cos i am more of a trouser person but i am planning to sew a nice ankara gown or mayb a long skirt and top kind of before that day i hope the out fit will go well?

Do what babythug said.Be yourself and be friendly.Try and speak the little yoruba you can.I'm sure you must have learn't greetings.
While you are in the house,if you see her try to get into the kitchen to make food,follow her and ask to assist.
That's all.It's not that hard.

If the accusations are said to be false,then why is the wife still holding on to them?She should be sure and have proof.
If she can forgive,then she should and make the marriage work.If she feels she can't forgive then they should go their separate ways instead of living the way they are now.

Sad.It's indeed a system failure but we all should take the blame.We should push our leaders to do more.Send you petition to the appropriate quarters and follow it up.

The problem started with the hospital you gave birth in.Why would they discharge a 7mth old baby after 2days?That child still needed to be monitored.The jaundice must have started when you got home and unfortunately you didn't detect it on time till the child started convulsing.

I can't blame the public hospitals you went to,the honest truth is that there is no space like they said.The hospitals are not enough to take care of the population.I know because i work in one.

The doctors you saw in LUTH could not have been students.They were probably house officers and even then,they ideally should have a medical officer with them.

I want to advise everyone.It may cost you some more money but try to get registered with a standard private hospital.You could use a general hospital for routine treatments but once you know that the condition is not being handled well,go to the standard private hospital.A standard private hospital should be able to handle a pre-term and take care of jaundice.
Also don't hesitate to get a second opinion with your test results.We have the internet now so read up on health issues especially the one that affects you.It helps you make quick decisions concerning your health.It doesn't mean you take over the job of a health professional or self-medicate however.

EfemenaXY:
Ah! Silverbox you didn't spell my name correctly, hence my not seeing this post of yours in my mentions. Now you've deactivated, I'm not sure if you still need any advice on this topic, so I'll keep it brief.

I get what you're saying - the curiosity, which is perfectly normal, seeing as you've only ever known your hubby w.r.t sex. That's to be expected as you started from point zero with him.

The key thing to remember here is compatibility, and from the sound of it, you two complement each other and that's what's important. Your man is in tune with your body and ensures you climàx before letting himself "go". He also engages in a lot of foreplày, and this is another big plus in his favour.

However, sex, like any other thing in life only gets better with practice. You're on a lifelong journey with him and you will be each other's practice drawing board. As long as he is open with you and has no inhibitions or old-school conservative attitude towards discussing and exploring the vast sex minefield out there with you, his wife, then I'll encourage you both to go for it. Do you know why? Because sex can and will get boring if you stick to the exact same routine every single time. It's kind of like sticking strictly to the missionary style every single time. Talk to your man. Let him know you're keen to explore. To see what else is out there. You be the chalk and him the blackboard, and vice-versa. Make mistakes together. Discover new grounds. Engage in role play if you choose. The list is endless.

You also touched on his timing (2-3 minutes?), and not being a round 2 type of man. Honey, it depends your moods oh! Most men usually start off with a short quick round especially if the konji hold them well-well. Then after some rest / recovery time, the second round is usually longer and the man could go on for twenty minutes or more.

Okay, take me for example. I've heard / read that some ladies have multiple örgàsms and climax several times during séxuàl íntércourse. Good on them (if that's really true) but I only climax just once, and most times, it's a gradual build up. Hubby knows this so he always makes sure his timing is spot on. It's also kind of like give-and-take. If he comes quickly in the first round, I don't sweat it because I know there's more to come.

*** sorry, going to be a bit explícit here ***

When we get down to it, hubby usually gives it to me hard and strong in the first round. Rough even, so understandably, it's a "quick" round. Then for the second round, he usually takes his time and goes nice and easy. Mind you, it's not just about thrustíng at this stage but him using his hands and lips at the same time - as per him playfully tugging and teasing the nípplés with his tongue and teeth, whilst caressing my bum with both hands, drawing me closer to him as he thrusts deeply with slow, calculated moves...d'you get the picture?

This could go on for twenty minutes or more, depending on how long it takes me to "come", after which he increases the tempo and if I'm lucky, he clímaxes shortly afterwards ....or if I'm unlucky, he keeps going on and on and on.

Another thing about me/ us is that once I've climàxed, I lose interest hence willing he too comes quickly afterwards. On the other hand, if I'm the one konji hold well-well, I would climax fairly quickly in that first round - maybe after just two or three minutes, and then lose interest. I can tell you hubby doesn't like that one bit, and I think on those occasions, he feels cheated.

So silverbox as you can see, there aren't any hard and fast rules here and it depends entirely on the couple in question. Mind you, we've been married for nearly twenty years now.

Laughing at the second bolded.I think i know someone like that too.
@first bolded,you went beyond brief.
Good one.

Exercise patience.Love conquers.
He's had a bad experience with black americans like you said so you won't expect him to warm up to you easily.
Keep greeting him whenever you meet him and try to have some conversations but don't force it.Just exchange few words and that's okay.You could buy a bottle of wine and give him.

Most importantly,keep being the good man that you say you are.Your ways will convince him.

[quote author=Yezzir post=34287265][/quote]If you believe in God,the first step is to ask Him for forgiveness and repent of your indiscretion.
You need to also forgive yourself.Next thing is take practical actions to move forward from where you are.Are you in a position to meet with the person involved?Then you need to move away from the person.It might mean you need to move from your present location(after you must have communicated to the person that it is over).
Start a new life and you have the best ahead of you.

kandiikane:
I'm not ok in my head!

I thought as much too.

kandiikane:
Talking about manhood was not a personal attack towards you but men who feel like they lose their "man-ness' when they wash dishes or cook. You had written that you cook and clean,so?

Moving on, bye!

Why are you upset about women who do that too?

FrancisTony:
The same Nobel prize Jonathan will soon win?

What's the big deal about the prize?

Even if Jonathan wins it,it will be a Peace prize.We are speaking about a Nobel prize in Literature.There is a difference.

FrancisTony:
The only reasonable male poster that has commented on this thread, so far.

Funny enough, Adichie isn't fighting for herself like most men here would think as she have everything on a platter of gold.

Cute husband.
Professor as a father.
The popularity no Nigerian male/female author has achieved world wide except Soyinka and Late Achebe.

Smh, on current form both popularity and writing, she topple Soyinka as "Half of a Yellow sun" is the best selling book.

How do you compare two people in different generations miles apart?Maybe we should wait till she wins a Nobel prize first before even comparing.
I appreciate her works,it's your statement i critique.