₦airaland Forum

boyt1:
Even during the Ramadan

imagine!One is Habeeb and another is Ilyas.What do their leaders teach them?

Tapout:
chasing the devil away, yet still inviting him





interesting, ....

I detest ra'pe, but this is just being stupid, she's trying to avoid him and yet she normally goes to his house to while away time, ..who goes to someone's house by 9.30am on a Wednesday to while away time??

please we shouldn't jump into conclusion yet, like some posters have already done...there's more to this story, someone is not just telling the truth.....ra'pe my a'ss she probably has been having an affair with the guy in question, just that this time she wasn't expecting a foursome

She was naïve no doubt but that still does not give them the right to rape her.
Desiree Washington went to Mike Tyson's hotel room yet he went to jail for rape.

Evil is increasing in the hearts of people nowadays.Young girls ought to be very careful.
How do you reject someone's advances and still go to his room?Do you think someone you reject his advances will be 'friends' with you?

Shame on the landlords.instead of reprimanding their sons and ensuring justice,they choose to threaten the girl's mother.
There should be more stringent laws and punishments for rape.

She needs counsel and direction.She obviously doesn't have anyone to give her proper sex education.

VictoriaBee:
lol, i'm just laughing mawkishly at people who are saying Toke was/is a runz girl, hence deserves what she got.
Anyway, I don't know her life offline and won't be a judge.
Just as Toke might have a dirty past, no one can vouch that Maje Ayida himself hasn't cheated with someone else girlfriend/wife.
Make una think use ya head and think wisely kwa.
Always blaming and attacking women but will cry foul when it's reversed.

I think people are just beefing her because she has a big mouth.I don't know her offline to say if she was a runs girl or not.

Obadiah77:
shyn your eyes, i don't knlw what u talking about.

nonsense

Alright,enjoy your space until the day of reckoning.

Obadiah77:
who??

You.You're back with your heresy and false teachings.

I thought you left nairaland for good.

May this period of Ramadan be a period many muslims will receive the true Light of God in their hearts and come to know the true God and Jesus Who He sent. Amen.

'And this is life eternal,that they may know You,the Only True God and Jesus Christ Whom Thou Has sent'(John 17:3)

She ain't got no choose!She has to keep her head up and make the best decision for her future and happiness.

biaka1994:
Thanks! @least am sure we stil hav reasonable peeps on nairaland. Well I wasn't in a hurry 2 get married but I got preggy n dad wasn't happy abt it and frm wia I cum frm they belief once ur preggy u r married and we ddnt wanna abort d baby so we decided 2 see my family.

Perhaps this is the reason why.You have a faulty foundation.Your husband may not be really into you but just married you because you got pregnant for him.

There are men who lose interest also when a woman gets pregnant or they witness delivery.
Try all you can to get him interested(keep in shape,keep clean,dress well etc) but the bulk of the work lies with him.

lanrexlan:
Your problem is very concentrated.
Fond of saying the same thing when asked simple question. If it is figuratively, will you mind explaining to us?

You have to understand the context in which Jesus made that statement and the people he made the statement to.
Study from verse 38...........;Jesus said,ye have heard that it hath been said,an eye for an eye,and a tooth for a tooth:but I say unto you,that ye resist not evil:but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek,turn to him the other also..................
He was talking to the Jews who had the law of Moses that gave them a right to revenge.They could pay back evil for evil......a tooth for a tooth.Jesus brought the message of forgiveness and grace.He was teaching them a new way,God's better way.What he meant by turn the other cheek is that you don't revenge,you learn to walk away from confrontations and situations that could bring about destruction.You don't take offence for a hurt and retaliate.
Turning the cheek was figurative.He didn't literarily mean the human body.

I pray for you that the true Light of God will shine upon your heart this Ramadan season.Some have found the true Light and Jesus at such period.

I hope I have been able to solve your concentrated problem.

Iamsynord:
She has two failed relationships ,DAT will make it the third

She has a fear of the future.Any man that is the best for her won't give her this kind of condition.What if he marries her,finds out later and seeks for a divorce?

Dump him.Why build on foundation of lies?

Next generation.

5minsmadness:
So now you are INSISTING that you know my own family members better than I do? I don't blame you, anything to make a point. This back and forth is unnecessary and unproductive. If you have been exposed to men that did such I wasn't. Stop peddling what you experienced as the norm because it isn't.

How much exposure do you have?I'm not insisting that your family members are that way,I'm just saying wife beating is common in Nigeria.
What i do not agree with the Op is the question of percentage.She makes it look like it's a norm and widely spread.

I already wrote about what my family is like.Your opinion won't change that.

Daresh:
The topic is a question not a statement. Note the difference.

The answer is a NO then.

5minsmadness:
I have uncles and aunties in the villages and I know most of thier dirty little secrets. NONE of the men force themselves on thier wives as a routine. The only uncle that tried that 'once' out of frustration told us about it and resorted to having a very willing side chic on the side since his wife continually refused to give it to him without a fight.

I asked thorpido cos I wanted real facts not social media sensationalism.

On to you then. Do you personally know anybody that as a routine forces himself on his wife?

You can't really know about these people's sexual life like you think.Do you know that the women themselves are conditioned to accept it?Tell me how many women will tell their friends their husbands wanted to sleep with them and they refused and not be rebuked by the women?It doesn't mean the men have to beat them before sleeping with them,sometimes the woman just has to lie down and open her legs......it's still rape.

Timbuktou:
1. This medium has maybe a 40% chance of truth

2. This one has like 5%

3. Don't bother. 1%

You don't know women. A guy in the building next to mine was recently arrested by the police for attempted murder for attempting to strangle a female neighbour. By the time, both sides were heard, it turns out he was only trying to collect her own share of NEPA payments of which she owed about 4 months, and she only made up that story because she felt embarrassed. Check out the trajectory, NEPA bills to attempted murder. Women's tales should be taken with a sack of salt.

So you don't think 40% is high a figure?
I know women lie to cover up some things but if you are someone who listens to women a lot like me,you would know when they speak from the depths of their hearts.

Read coogar's last article he quoted.if it were possible do an online survey asking men if their wives refused them sex,what they would do,you will be surprised many of them will say,didn't I pay dowry?

5minsmadness:
If this were true there'd be fewer cases of cheating in marriage.
Most men will simply look for a willing woman outside instead of forcing their way on an unwilling wife.



Do you demand to have sex even when your wife disagrees an then go ahead to do it?

Did you dad do it? Your uncles? Brothers? Forget social media jazz and be honest now.

That's not true.Abusers who are also cheats sleep with their wives as a form of exercising their dominion.It doesn't stop them from still keeping girlfriends.

As to your questions,go through my posts.You will find your answers there.

Timbuktou:
How did you come by this information?

From hearsays(I hang around women a lot),from the media,from statements made by women in divorce cases in court.

Timbuktou:
Coogar, nobody does this in Nigeria, well, almost nobody. Only an extremely tiny percentage would ever do this. Believe me, not many men even know it's not a crime. Juts because the law encourages it doesn't mean Nigerian men routinely rape their wives.

I'll disagree on this one.Actually many men have the sex they want when they want and expect their wives to understand it's their rights as a husband.

coogar:
it would be close to 80%
if you consider verbal, physical, emotional, etc. our laws don't even have any form of punishment for marital räpe. can you beat that?

Nah,I don't agree with that figure.

MarvellousGod:
You understand exactly what I was trying to say but they all read my comment with a negative mind...

The article makes sense though but the title. ....



Really?

That means every comment on this thread becomes invalid since I can't talk for my relatives, how much more those talking about friends?

Eehh, If I had said they all beat their wives, will you ask me same question? Learn to be more positive ohh?

I agree too that the article is objective and seeks to reduce cases of domestic violence but to say Nigeria is a nation of wife beaters is like saying Nigeria is a nation of drug pushers or online fraudsters.

coogar:
there's nothing wrong with the title, if the stats is as high as 50%, then one can conclude its a nation of wife beaters - especially when nothing is being done by the law to curb the menace.

police rarely get involved in domestic violence. the churches usually ask the victims to persevere and stay in the marriage. this is not good enough. steps should be taken to punish the culprits.

How do we know it's up to 50%?

Daresh:
The fact that it doesn't happen to you doesn't mean it doesn't happen to others. The world doesn't revolve around you. And don't go vouching for other people, you don't know what happens in their homes. I was surprised to find out many so called loving relationships are battered homes.

Your title is wrong.How many marriages do you know where the husband beats the wife to conclude Nigeria is a nation of wife beaters?Perhaps you don't understand the title.
Yes,there are incidences of wife beating but how many compared with the general population?MarvellousGod spoke about her family.It's the same story with mine too,so where is the basis to conclude it's a nation of wife beaters?

You can't just use your immediate environment to judge all marriages.

It happens often to girls who enjoyed deep intimacy with the guys they dated.
She will overcome it ......hopefully...........as long as she keeps her mind focused on her husband.

tttmar:
Pls, there is something I don't understand I have a friend which all her three children are females, her husband is the first born her husband's brother children are also females while her husband's sisters children are also 6 females. My friend husband married another wife, this wife had 2 children before marrying my friend's husband but now she gave birth to a boy, the boy is now 2 years but he did not resemble the father nor his mother. Pls, is this child not a bastard and my friend is worried. Pls advice, don't mind my grammar.

The woman probably had the child for the same man who she bore the other kids for.Your friend should go and do a DNA test for the child to confirm paternity.

There are actually families where they give birth to a particular sex but such cases are rare.What determines what sex the baby turns out to be is the spermatozoon that reaches the egg first and also the timing of the cycle when intercourse took place.

The Op is just ignorant and needs some education.Maybe he thinks it's a kind of lingerie.
Op,read what tearoses said.It's usually prescribed by doctors.It's not for fashion.

andromida:
She already knows how to kiss. A doll just won't do.

I'm just teasing.She has to keep persuading her husband to yield to her desires.Looking elsewhere is a no-no.

germainediva:
The lady in question neither has bad breath nor mouth odor...............hubby said he never liked kissing but was just doing it accassionally then to please her but that he can't do it anymore

Hmmm.He should know he still has to please her,if not why did he marry her?Her hubby should get some counselling on sexual satisfaction in marriage.

I believe she should have known the kind of man she was getting married to and it will be her cross to bear.She should keep initiating kissing and hope her hubby will change.