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Jokes Etc / Re: If U Don't Want Ur Ribs To Crack, Please Don't Read These Jokes by tomiobj(m): 8:46am On Oct 10, 2015
elego1:
*When youpost on Facebook "My boss is an idiot" and ur boss like ur post. "No just go work tomorrow

*When soldier punish ufinish come release u make u dey go, u come climbur bike come shout " officer thunder fire u" and ur bike no come gree start again.. Chi! Guy make you faint before he reach where you dey, because na lighting go fire you.

*When you finish eating in an eatery and u find out that your wallet fell out in a taxi... Start to prepare ur grammar oh because you go wash plate tire

*When u dey on top okada and the okada man dey ping... # Lol. Na automatic ticket to grave.

*When the person interviewing you in your new job is the same guyyou insulted in traffic. "Bro, u go apologise tire.!"

*When Mosquito lands on your father's Baldhead and u try to kill it with your bare hand. "You must provide theproof ohh, or else..

*When "Usain Bolt" chases u with a Cutlass... O boy,just stop beg am, cos ur own don finish..

Which is the funniest?
I just forgot how to laugh undecided undecided. U dry pass harmattan season

1 Like

Jokes Etc / Re: When Spongebob Was Fired By Mr Krab This Was The Result by tomiobj(m): 7:17am On Oct 06, 2015
abdullahI24:
The hidden formular was reveal grin grin
. I don't know if I am blind, but I can't see any link

1 Like

Jokes Etc / Re: I Need Ur Help...view Only If U Re Good In English by tomiobj(m): 7:15am On Oct 06, 2015
hemjaylee:
I asked my Dad 2 buy iphone6 4 me. He sed no problem dat his goin 2 buy it 4 me only If I can translate dis 2 English
"Aje gun ni IGUNUGUN je EBO"...I just started giving him funny answers, he now told me the offer lasts 4 3days....4 d past 2days now av bin askin google na empty page google dey bring.
All my scholars online please help me wit d answer...Abeg dis iphone6 dey important
sorry, I don't know it...I school in france
Jokes Etc / Re: Drop The Most Terrible English Statement You Have Ever Heard. by tomiobj(m): 7:12am On Oct 06, 2015
petux:
Lets have fun.......
Lets play this game. Drop the most terrible
English statement you've ever heard.
Mine is "Come and rode it again"
Kip the fun Rolling.
. Myn is 'kip the fun rolling. Fun resemble football 4 ur village
Jokes Etc / Re: Hilarious Photo Of Akpororo by tomiobj(m): 7:09am On Oct 06, 2015
Lalasticlala kor. Galalistic gala ni. If this stale pic enters fp today I'll cut off my prick and trek from lagos to Capetown nude cheesy
Jokes Etc / Re: Wonder Shall Never End, Can You Do Dis? by tomiobj(m): 7:03am On Oct 06, 2015
For ur house you say?? So u dey live for sawmill grin

If u want to plagarize a post. Do it right
Jokes Etc / Re: Salary Palava by tomiobj(m): 5:39pm On Oct 05, 2015
Too long.....you could have typed this 'funny' 'joke' in 5 lines or less quote author=Nawtiblayse post=38685347]Conversation between father,
daughter and in-law to be:
Daughter:- ekule bami, how is
everybody in the village?
Father:- welcome my daughter,
everybody are fine in the village.
how was your trip?
Daughter:- my trip was fine sir.
Father:- who is this gentleman
beside you
Daughter:- (smile) daddy, as we
have discussed earlier on phone,
he is my fiancée his name is
Aremu
Father: omo mi (my son) you're
welcome. How is everything?
Fiancée: I am doing fine sir. E se
pupo
Father: my daughter, you're so
lucky to have this handsome as
my in-law to be.
Daughter: thank you baami
Father: your fiancée is from
which town?
Daughter: (smile) my fiancée is
from Iragbiji town.
Father: is iragbiji town under
Lagos state?
Daughter: o ti oooo, iragbiji town
is under Osun state.
Father: Osun what! OK, which
work is he doing?
Daughter: daddy my husband is a
civil servant in Oshogbo
Father: (with annoyance) civil
servant ke ? Rara ooooo. You
cannot marry him oooooo
Daughter: but daddy why?
Father: (facing the husband to
be) wo Tunde abi kini oruko re.
You cannot marry my daughter.
Fiancée: daddy, what is the
matter? I love your daughter
Father: wo dont even talk about
love.
Fiancée: but..... but....cut inn
Father : don't but me your state
governor is owing 7-8 month
salary and you're thinking of
marrying my daughter.
NO! Over my dead body. Maa pa
omo fun mi ( don't let my
daughter die of hunger)
Daughter: (crying & weeping) no
daddy noooooo
Father: wo Iwo ntie, o ti ni oko.
Go and marry from state where
they don't owe workers. Lagos
state, Borno state
etc. You can even manage Ondo
state. They're only owing 3
months.[/quote]
Phones / Re: Download Free BBM Stickers by tomiobj(m): 7:50am On Oct 04, 2015
Thanks for the link jare. I was just googleling how to get free bbm stickers. Then I came across this thread.



Only a crazy person wil pay almost N400 for stickers
Jokes Etc / Re: Funny Ways To Cross Roads In Nigeria by tomiobj(m): 4:48pm On Oct 03, 2015
DeHero1:


Zebra crossing... in Nigeria, it's just for road decoration.
SirWere:
The Zebra crossing in my neighbourhood is a joke!! Even Goats dare not follow it gringringrin

Zebra crossing Do you mean that tom-tom advert they do on the road?
Jokes Etc / Re: Are You Smart To Crack This? Oya Come Online! Pic by tomiobj(m): 5:58am On Sep 29, 2015
Iyamar:
Lol
. No need 4 story. It's an arithmetic progression. The difference is 11 (ss1 further maths)
Greyworld:

It wud give an absurd "710"
As in the 1+1+1=3
3+7=10
Since 7 is k, iits then 710
ikenigel:

See What I mean;
1112 ... 2 is last digit so I write "20"
then plus 1+1+1+2= 5
20 + 5 =25
1114... 4 last digit =40
1+1+1+4=7
40+7=47
Hence, 1117 7 last digit = 70
1+1+1+7 = 10
70+10 = 80
Just thinking outside the box.
69 is easier to see following series, but what if it wasn't in the option?
yakwas:
It should be 80...
All the last digits are to change to tenth. I.e. 1117 >> the 7 will become 70..
Then 1+1+1+7 = 10.
So, 70 + 10 = 80. ✅✅✔
Jokes Etc / Re: Rember Who Sing Originality? by tomiobj(m): 5:54am On Sep 29, 2015
It's 9ce
Jokes Etc / Re: What Is Lalasticlala? by tomiobj(m): 5:49am On Sep 29, 2015
Marvel1206:
For sometime now, i have been seeing comments with Lalasticlala. What's the meaning abeg?
. Don't mind these people jare. He is a supermod (d oga @ d top). He is the one tht moves threads to front page
viyon02:
i dont even know the meaning too. Lalaisclala.lol
TITOBIGZ:

U took d mouth out of my word.lipsrsealed,
Wait Oo,waht am i doing here self
People tag him so their threads can enter front page

1 Like 1 Share

Jokes Etc / Re: Top Five Insta Comedians by tomiobj(m): 7:29am On Sep 28, 2015
There r also other guys tht r funny ooo

Spicysuyaboiz
Therealfemi
Ellenbaby89(oyinbo that speaks pidgin)
Nigerian panda
Plato_15
Westafricanman
Real_african_stars
Their parents. Kraks_tv , funny_african_pics
I might av missed the spelling of some of the handles

It's not a matter of opinion. But your list is biased. Falz should not be on that list @ all. At all. #bashingisalloweD
Jokes Etc / Re: You Go Laugh Tire: Me And Warri Drivers by tomiobj(m): 11:42pm On Sep 24, 2015
CLASSSSSS!!!!!...La click la what?? BENDDD!!!!
Celebrities / Re: Worst Dressed At The 2015 AMAA Nominee Party (photos) by tomiobj(m): 9:42pm On Sep 24, 2015
Scatterscatter:
Like seriously! Someone please inform derele it's an award show not Rag day. But sincerely these people no try at all especially that one that said thunder should suck his something. Anyways, wetin concern me
. It's a phrase from a movie. If you watched Ted u'd understand. Op. His dressing is not that bad.
Phones / Re: 5 Ways Tablets Are Better Than Laptops Or Smartphones by tomiobj(m): 4:51am On Sep 19, 2015
YCT:
1. Portability
Tablets are thin and light. If you have a MacBook Air, or an ultrabook, the distinction may not seem as significant, but when it comes to most laptops, a tablet is thinner, lighter, and more portable by a long shot. When you’re carrying around a bag all day, the difference between one pound and five pounds adds up. Speaking of bags, most laptops require their own luggage to transport from Point A to Point B, but you can grab a tablet on your way out the door like you’re picking up your keys or sunglasses.

2. Functionality

The tablet may not be as versatile as a laptop in the functionality department, but it is significantly better than a smartphone. Tablets have larger displays that give you more real estate to get real work done. In fact, with larger tablets the display is on par with smaller laptops, allowing you to get more done. Of course, the virtual keyboard uses up half the display, so you have less screen to work with when you’re actually working. Regardless, though, tablets beat smartphones when it comes to being productive.

3. Less Cumbersome

Have you ever tried to get work done on a laptop while riding in a taxi, or during a flight? It’s not fun. It is a project to lug the device out, and then you have to find some relatively flat, stable surface to set it on. It has to be flipped open to view the display or type on the keyboard, so that rules out any use while walking around (at least for anyone with common sense). A tablet is easy to just turn on and use in any environment.

4. Battery Life

Most tablets have battery life that is far better than laptops. Laptops are steadily improving in the longevity department, but most would still struggle to make it through a full work day, and many won’t make it to lunch. Tablets on the other hand, seem to last forever even when pushed to the limits.

5. Flexibility

A tablet sits somewhere between the smartphone and laptop in most areas, and flexibility is no exception. In many ways, a tablet can fill the role of a laptop and perform most, if not all, of the same functions. But, the tablet is also more versatile. Most can take photos, or shoot videos in addition to allowing video chat and conferencing. They also work nicely as e-readers (or in some cases the e-reader has evolved into a tablet) for accessing an entire library of books on the go. Some of these things are technically possible, but ridiculous in a practical sense with a notebook.

A tablet is ideal for some tasks, and suitable for many, but there are still a variety of scenarios where a laptop or smartphone might be a better choice. Consider the pros and cons of each mobile device, and choose the best tool for the task at hand.


http://www.pcworld.com/article/247387/5_ways_tablets_are_better_than_laptops_or_smartphones.html
1. If u want a portable pc. U can get a 9 or 10 inch windows 8 hybrid... no need to refer to phones here
2. Issalie. U can get some smartphones that r better than mmost tabs. E.g the samsung s6 is bera than almost if not all tecno tabs ever created and can do more things that are versatile. My blackberry q10 is more productive than an average tab and the screen is square and small. If a tab is more productive..why do you always see a desktop on the desk of the receptionist/secretary in most places. The ability of tabs are limited
3. You also can't get work done on a tab. Because it can't be used I handed and you will have to set it down at the end of the day using a laptop bag is optional btw. U can get a portable 1 or a hybrid if u want to be carrying it around. Most tablets have broken. Screens because of this
4. This 1 is not even a joking matter. Android tabs can consume battery like Madd. With the power demanding os and d constant need to connect to d network which wastes battery. But a laptop can actually be shut down to stop all processes. But aa tab will just waste ur battery and time when booting. The batteries of laptops are even bigger than that of tabs
5. If u say a laptop cannot video chat/ take pictures...I won't even answer you again
You could have come up with better points than these. Like accessibility of the tab (easy to bring out nd put back without avn to shut down). Ability to use mobile apps (instagram) fully. Calling, sms. Etc
Jokes Etc / Please... Who Knows Of A Wireless Selfie Stick That Works With Blackberry Os 10+ by tomiobj(m): 5:57pm On Sep 17, 2015
Sm1 pls help me. I af hallways wanned to buy a selfie stick ever since I saw it. But the problem is that I use a blackberry q10 and when I consulted my good friend (google)...I found out that a lot of people if not all had complains with the selfie stick not being compatible with the phone(all BlackBerry 10 os phones).
If you know of any brand of selfie sticks (wireless) that works with BlackBerry q10 or z10 and where I can gerrit. Pls mention below.

From experience only
Phones / Re: Don’t Buy Cheap Android Phones From Popular Brands,here’s Why by tomiobj(m): 11:52pm On Sep 07, 2015
[
Phones / Re: Don’t Buy Cheap Android Phones From Popular Brands,here’s Why by tomiobj(m): 11:20pm On Sep 07, 2015
khalhokage:


The title says Android, Apple devices don't run on Android.
Oh sorry, my fault.....i wz reading blindly

Thnk you for not ending my career with an insult grin
Phones / Re: Don’t Buy Cheap Android Phones From Popular Brands,here’s Why by tomiobj(m): 11:14pm On Sep 05, 2015
khalhokage:
By Elroy Chibex


It’s another weekend, a time we pick up an erring part in mobile tech and thrash it out. This article was inspired by a comment from Mobilista Surajudeen, and we explore reasons why you shouldn’t buy low-end smartphones from popular phone brands.



There’s a general misconception people have with mobile phone makers. OK, for instance, If I asked, “What are the best Android phone brands?” The reply I expect to hear would be answers like Samsung, LG, Sony, and HTC. This is true. These aforementioned brands make the best Android phones you can see in the market, but then, there’s a limit to their greatness.

These popular brands make phones people love, but the great experience ends with their high end (and a few mid-range) phones. When it comes to low end devices, the likes of Samsung , LG, HTC and Sony are useless. Yes, you read it right. People buy them with the inner belief they’re getting something great, but trust me, the reverse is the case here.

If you want to buy a cheap Android device, look away from these popular brands because their low end devices are under specced and over priced. An experience with it may leave a bad taste in your mouth. If you must buy any of these popular brands, then save up and buy the very expensive ones. That’s when you know you’ve bought something worth celebrating.

There are many instances: Let’s pick out the Samsung J1. This is a phone released in 2015 but it comes with measly 512 MB RAM, and the price (at the time of writing this) is N20,330. It’s funny when you know you can get a 2 GB RAM Infinix Hot 2 for less or same price. Another case is the Galaxy Star 2 Plus, which Samsung used as a Hero deal during the
Jumia Mobile Megathon. The phone has no 3G, carries just 512 MB RAM, 4GB internal memory and was priced at N17,000.

Outside Samsung, there’s a mid-range Sony device, Xperia M4 Aqua . You can imagine, the 8 GB version of this phone has just 1.26 GB usable memory. Even rooting and hacking cannot save the situation. Imagine shelling N40,000 and being faced with this problem. LG, and HTC are also culprits, when you look at their low-end devices, you see that they’re expensive compared to the offerings of Chinese brands.

If your budget for a new smartphone is at the region of N30,000, then stay away from big name brands. Rather look towards the likes of TECNO, Gionee, Innjoo etc. They offer way better value for money compared to those popular brands you know.

Oya rant your own Happy Weekend folks!!

Source: [url=mobilityarena.com/weekend-rants-dont-buy-cheap-android-phones-from-popular-brandsheres-why/]Mobility[/url]
if I was a teacher and u wrote this post for me in my exam. I would giv u 2/100. It's nt complete @ all. How would you forget the king when it comes to over-pricing phones. Apple eg the iphone 4 is just a waste of cash
Jokes Etc / Re: Photo! When Hutsling Gets Real And Making You Go Crazy by tomiobj(m): 2:18pm On Sep 04, 2015
He is just on the facebook log in/sign up page
Jokes Etc / Re: What Is The Funniest Combination Of Food You Have Ever Eaten by tomiobj(m): 1:11pm On Sep 04, 2015
Sheikhahmad:
What is the funniest combination of
food you have ever eaten?
Mine is #salad and #akara drop ur own..........dnt be shy #leggo!
I toasted bread with moi-moi inside. Made sensee like mad

1 Like

Jokes Etc / Re: When Ife Chiefs Decided To Choose Another Abobaku by tomiobj(m): 6:13pm On Aug 19, 2015
crotonite:
please someone should explain whatz abobaku.

Jokes Etc / Re: A Nairalander Preforming On Stand Up Nigeria by tomiobj(m): 3:38am On Aug 18, 2015
grin grin. U try
Jokes Etc / Re: Funny Pictures To Spice Up Your Day! by tomiobj(m): 3:33am On Aug 18, 2015
SexyNairalander:
grin grin grin
. Wait. Nooooo. Ull die lyk that. Just move bk nd comot. D. Rope
Jokes Etc / Re: Funny Pictures To Spice Up Your Day! by tomiobj(m): 3:32am On Aug 18, 2015
SexyNairalander:
grin grin grin
. A sensible person cann xcape d first pic.
Steps
1. Sit down. Shift forward in d process.
2. Drag urselfforward
3. Comot d rope
#shikena
Romance / Re: Ladies, Can You Date A Guy That Drives This Type Of Car? by tomiobj(m): 3:26am On Aug 18, 2015
StephanieEzeh:
This is pure old schoolgrin can't remember the last time I set my eyes on this car! Ladies, can you go out with a guy on a date in this type of car? If you see a guy driving such car, just know its "papa dash me" gringringrin
. Nigerians sha. Outside ds country (africa). This car will have a lot of value as a vintage

2 Likes

Travel / Re: The Beauty Of Ilorin International Airport, Kwara (photo) by tomiobj(m): 3:25am On Aug 18, 2015
victor2fresh:
'If u call this beautiful then please what should i call dis1
. A waste of money
Jokes Etc / Re: HALL OF FUNNY PICS by tomiobj(m): 4:16pm On Aug 17, 2015
alphaconde:
I can't save nairaland pics on my phone, is anyone experiencing this?
. When ur about to save it. In d place where ur meant to rename it add .png to the end. Of it. Thank me later grin
Religion / Re: Why Do Pastors Shout When Preaching? by tomiobj(m): 1:48am On Aug 17, 2015
EroticAngelina:
I've never been to a church where the pastor or person preaching doesn't shout..

Does the shouting make the blessing more effective or what?? go abroad, ull never see a pastor literally screaming in ur ears thru the speakers embarassed

I want to know why it is so.


Why does timaya shout when singing
Jokes Etc / Re: Kudos To Anyone That Can Translate This Sentence From Pidgin To Normal English by tomiobj(m): 1:06am On Aug 17, 2015
penisEnlargmnt:
with how many years am I older than you?


I get am ?

cc - tomiobj
. 99.8 percent. Ur actually correct. One minor tabon
Family / Re: OMG! Small Children Rocking Themselves In Intimate Dance At A Party :o by tomiobj(m): 6:01pm On Aug 16, 2015
ladyF:
Children of nowadays

It's [size=20pt]LadyF [/size] again grin grin grin
. Ahah, u na no get job ni. U are always on the first page of every thread

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