₦airaland Forum

BigSarah:
So there's this guy in my department looks so much like my primary school sweetheart who passed away .
Anytime I see him I get so drawn to him.. I'm a really shy person like nervous, Sweating,heartracing kinda shy, only around him though.
So I took his number off my department group chat and started sending him all sort of texts and he replied back well for the first 3days but he kept saying that I should tell him who I'm (I didn't use my number got a new line, just for that purpose). As of Yesterday He Sent me this mean text

.Mtchew.... Wtf
Sarah or whatever ur name is, dont call nor text me again
Who cares abt who u are.
Let's dis be the last time u call and text me..
To hell with u, mtchew ..

I didnt call him throughout that day, but I called today he still asked who is dis, I ignored the question then he hanged up.
What do I do now? Telling him it's me is gonna be so embarrassing to me I've poored out my heart shamelessly in those texts and it'll be horrible if he ends up not dating me after the revelation.
I don't wanna miss him please Tips

taylor88:
Dude as ur fellow guy am so ashamed of u



U guys even went out to take few bottles, something wey u go fvck her till ur diik bleeds and watch her keep off ur doorsteps



God pls let my female rapist locate me wherever i am even if it's inside a taxi


If i no fvck her make Thunder fire me

claremont:
My mentor, Jeremy Corbyn (UK Labour Party leader) sitting on the floor of a train because there were no available seats.

Chidonc:
the bride who used her hand to share rice somewhere in ibadan so that only those that paid for asoebi would eat.

IamAirforce1:
Got back from school feeling so tired so I took a quick nap
Only to get up I found this delicious Semo and okra soup , roasted corn and the rest all prepared by my beautiful girl friend .

Wow

This is love .

Get a caring bae and be happy.

It is too late to fail, Amen .

sekxyqueen:
what kind of combination is this? oka na akpu??

soberdrunk:
Hahahaha!! This just reminded of years back when i went into the ceiling to peep when my older brother and is girlfriend were having 'fun', i got so carried away by the action i didnt know i had moved my weight to the wrong board and came crashing down by their side, i dont know who was more embarrassed, me or the girl, all i kept screaming was "cable wire"!! "Cable wire"!! trying to cover up with the lie that i went into the ceiling to adjust cable wire........

AutoJoshNG:
The Federal Road Safety Commission (FRSC) has just confirmed that you can now renew your driver's licence without going through the tedious capturing and biometrics.

All you need to do is.. go to http://www.nigeriadriverslicence.org, click on DL application, click on renewal of drivers licence and insert your licence number and date of birth.

At the end of the form, select "NO" when asked if you want to recapture biometric information. With this, your information will be pulled out from the database and you can select the centre where you wish to pick up your permanent licence.

https://autojosh.com/can-now-renew-drivers-licence-without-going-capturing/

Lalasticlala
Mynd44
Ishilove
Marpol
Semid4lyfe
Obinoscopy
Seun

Yellowdayzee:
Ok since you don't feel comfortable... Did you offer her an alternative solution

Can you get her another place to stay?

Don't point out a problem without a solution

ChappyChase:
I am not against mosquitoes bitting me oo, After all man must survive (so they need my blood to survive), I will just see it as me doing blood donations(which is highly recommended by WHO) . But, till tomorrow, I vehemently stand against Mosquitoes buzzing around my ears! JEEZ Can't they just suck my blood without disturbing my sleep

Thegamingorca:
He was highly skilled in selling ugu

ProudtobeaMUMUM:
There's this girl I have in my estate, we don't talk, her mom do sell all these small chops and I patronise her very well, but since last month, the so called girl have been too clingy with me, if am strolling around and she sights me, She must come and meet me, I have no feelings for her but she has asked me about my relationship status and she knows well I have a girlfriend who always visit me on weekends, please nairalanders I need your help, how do I tell this girl to stay on her lane, almost everybody now takes it as if we are dating
Please don't judge me by my moniker.

jpphilips:
This is what happens when a girl child has embraced poverty to a dangerous dimension, instead of finding a solution to the misfortune of her birth decides to open what is left of her legs to a nonentity with the IQ of a housefly, whom out of boredom and a serial dose of exhaustive unhygienic unprotected sexual intercourse was unlucky to ejjaaculate what is left of his sensibilities, so awkward it was he brought her pics online for folks to appraise the good job he has done on that unfortunate piece of creation.
I will give you a proper rating in 9months when you have truly embraced the fruit of your labour, *spits*

NwaAmaikpe:


Numbers won't do justice to my rating of your girlfriend.
So I'd verbally describe and analyze what I see.

The scenery of her photograph shows she lives in a slum neighborhood and has definitely been sexually assaulted as a minor.

The brown roofs around and ancient buildings shows her tribe... I guess she's troublesome from her pose. (That pose when women want to fight)
Her arms are at akimbo, but her smile looks more like a frown in the picture, this shows even she can't stand the odour emanating from her armpit.

Her flabby tummy shows she's either been pregnant before, is pregnant or has given birth and discarded the baby...you really need to ask her.

Now a woman is supposed to have proportional 'figure 8' body contours, but it is lacking here.
She does not have a single hip. Some men even have wider hips than her.
She is just as straight as an unprocessed log of lumber.

You are lucky to have a girl like this because you won't suffer the insecurity most men go through with their girls because she is so ugly, that even if a man looks back if she walks past its' to confirm if she'd turn and walk towards him so he can flee.

If you really love this girl, instead of putting her up to be analyzed like a property, buy her that black soap dudu osun so she can tone her dirty black complexion which makes her face look like a badly molded chunk of Amala.

Get her a new tailor who won't mess up the neck of her gown which looks like a funeral wear made from lace curtain.
Then advice her to stop wearing padded bras. She should come to terms with the fact that she has small breàsts

In summary,
If your girl was a car,
She'd be a rickety wheelbarrow.

collinskoko14:
The Simpsons is a typical example of cartoon porn...


Please don't let your kids watch The Simpsons oooooo

NwaAmaikpe:

Captain Ekeinde right now

Omagzee:
Now I understand. Can't all these 9ja mech guys develop their own engine since we know perfectly how it works now? Instead of welding scrap metals here there, fitting it a bajaj engine and terming it "flying keke marwa".