₦airaland Forum

Sapasenator:
The church is the wrong place for marital advice with most of the pastors not qualified to give advice in that area. I always ask couples to visit a qualified and certified marriage counselor. We tend to Idolize these pastors and ascribe to them knowledge they do not possess.

Yes correct to a large extent. Pastors are meant to interpret the bible and teach the followers about what God said, or perhaps what Paul said about marriage. Their job is not to settle disputes of marital affairs because most will likely give a bad advice based on their personal opinion, and those opinions are from 1990s when the Pastor met his own wife.

Mille:
Doesn't even include love or hate. Being a good or bad wife/mother doesn't automatically mean the person loves or hate husband/children.

Good wife - Does many of the things expected of a wife (by her husband or societal standards)

Bad wife - Doesn't do many of the things children (or the society) expects from a mother.

For example, you can claim to love your child, but if after they close from school, you put a tray on their head to go and hawk groundnut on the expressway, you are a bad mother.


Take this scenario that unfolded this year in the estate I live in.

Husband is the breadwinner. Husband loses his source of income while wife only has a petty shop just outside the estate. Wife is supportive of husband in his downtime. Takes charge of the home using her petty business, uses her finance to make him able to attend interviews, and uses her contacts to find him job opportunities, and ultimately lands him a job. Home was kept running smoothly without husband having to borrow from friends or family.

The truth was wife's business was not flourishing either during this downtime. Turns out wife, without the knowledge of the husband or anyone else, has been pimping out her 12 year old daughter to the Hausa men who do security for many of the houses in the estate. It was only exposed when she tried stopping after the husband was back on his feet.

In less than 3 sentences, do you consider her a good/bad wife/mother?

I'm so invested in this story, this daughter was 12 years old & is being pimped at that tender age?

jify:
Secondly, I convinced him to learn social media management and marketing. I got someone to teach him one on one, even paid the person. I provided data for the online class, my husband didn't call nor attend any classes. Again, I said give me content, you have this particular skill, I paid social media manager for one month, to see how we can use online marketing to get him clients. It was his phone number on the page, I would just pay the manager for a while, after the first week, he stopped providing content, I begged and begged until I gave up. My husband is not the lazy type, he has strength and agility. I'm more of a think tank, generating ideas because I'm an avid reader, but he punishes me for the wrong I've done to him and that's not someone I want to do anything business with.

I don't think you know the meaning of lazy, perhaps you also do not think properly calling yourself a think tank because if you're not self-aware enough to notice this, then you're not a think tank at all.

Biggest characteristic of a lazy unserious man diligence, he is not diligent in his work. Laziness is not in lack of muscles or physical strength, It is in his mentality to work himself out of poverty grinding everyday even when things do not work.

A non-lazy man will never ever leave his work undone or uncompleted because a woman is fighting with him.

IjeBos:
A lot of places. I can go to NY round trip for $100-200 depending on the airline. NY is about a 1 hour flight.
The Abuja route should be a popular flight.
Given that US wages, regulations, airport fees, taxes etc. are so much more than Nigeria, the Nigeria price doesn't make much sense.

The dude is a joker na, travel in the UK with flight with £50 from England to France, that is a different country entirely. All APC followers are all stupid people.

jedisco:
Sad story his marriage was. I hope he didn't belong to the 'Ivorian girls are useless crew'.


Folks on Nairaland who are quick to abuse Nigerian ladies should study his travails and understand that:

1. Humans worldover have same basic traits. For reasons of evolution and so populations can survive and get better with time, female species are generally hypergamous i.e attracted to mates with coveted characteristics in their community. In humans it could be finance, power, looks e.t.c. In lower species, it's even worse with sometimes the strongest male being the only one that mates after killing off competitors.

2. There is no other country (aside Nigér or Chad perhaps) that has its female folks roling over to worship you. First ask yourself, what coveted traits do you possess in that society- That's the key.

3. Lastly, any human population with 'stvpid or.... women', would have a similar population of 'stvpid or ... men'. This is especially so in patriarchal societies like ours.

I sincerely do not understand the craze of African players for white women, I cannot even trust anyone more less of a white woman. In fact even on my death bed, I cannot marry one of them. They know the law and will not hesitate to kill you with it if need be especially when it comes to wrecking you, they all extremely brutal and have zero emotions on that side. Even Mikel Obi has been together with his girl for years but refused to marry her, same with Ronaldo. None of those people trust their spouse.

Gerrard59:
On what level of income is that applied? Another thing our people need to understand is that to earn extremely high salaries in some countries especially those that historically did not experience black migrantion is the purported glass ceiling. Management positions in most if not almost every non-Anglophone country are kept for the natives. So, anyone who wants to attain wealth in a country like Germany, Norway, or Korea should be entrepreneurial.

There is no way to become a multi-millionaire in EU unless you start a business which you cannot until you have some residency in EU after some considerable number of years.

Even management positions here earn peanuts, VP of Goldman Sachs is on 120k. That's not a lot of cash when you remove cost of living and tax of 45%.

tensazangetsu20:
If I was in the west, I will get western women too. I have gotten western women here too. They call them gringos lol 😂😅. They are everywhere here.

Okay, the problem here is you think the experience in Chile is going to be the same in Canada & all those places. Everybody in the West is saying the same thing, I don't understand why you think they are lying. You are basically comparing women in Chile or whole of South America to the rest of world.

tensazangetsu20:
The truth is that a lot of Nigerian men abroad are very fat liars. They say no job. You know how many jobs I have. They say no woman. Woman wan kill me for Chile and this is Chile o. Country that is not even an a list country. Then if I dey Canada, Germany and such places, I will be a dollar millionaire in 3 to 5 years.

Tax in Germany is 45%, it is easier to become a millionaire where you are than any Western or A list country because of taxes. People I know in Germany since 2020 haven't saved up to €100k and they are in tech.

Why don't you create a Poll or ask people in Travel section who live in these countries for years if they experience the same thing. I mean hear from horses mouth directly.

airsaylongcome:
Valid points especially regarding the disadvantages. But I always like to ask users which they would buy? A Toyota Corolla off the shelf that they can drive away immediately? Or a custom built Corolla that would cost twice as much and be ready in 6 months?

It depends on the type of clients.

As someone who used to be a professional 9-5 Wordpress theme developer, using templates is one of the worst things that can happen to you to if you plan on delivering a stellar job.

First off those templates are extremely slow, they have so many unnecessary Javascript components embedded into a single screen, once people visit your website, they would know you've used Wordpress due to how slow & inefficient your website is. The purchased template is super hard to modify, one change leads to several other changes and you will end up spending more time than you planned to if you had built your own theme from scratch.

Clients want proper customisation, they do not want their website to look like every other website on the internet and they pay premium for it. You will end up making peanuts if all you do is install Wordpress templates with little customisation for low paying clients or companies. As no serious client will pay you $1000 for a Wordpress website, but when it is a theme built from scratch, you charge any amount. For example websites like CNN was initially built with Wordpress and it was super fast.

Maybe I'm wrong on this but I see that you're using one country as a reference to "abroad" & the country itself is not fully Western. Your comparison of experience of women in South America is night & day compared to places like Canada or other Western countries. It's like comparing Brazilian women to women in other parts of the world who are less beautiful than them by a mile, It is not a true comparison.

Also, most Nigerians don't usually Japa to South America so their experience of women will be completely different from yours. Nigerians moving to Germany or UK/Canada where black African men are not in demand, they won't experience this at all.

Only 1% of Nigerian men who Japa can relate to your experience.

tensazangetsu20:
Honestly, if you’re still in Nigeria and have plans to relocate abroad, especially as a single man, I strongly advise staying single. The rumors you’ve heard about black men not being in demand abroad or not being loved are completely false.

Back in Nigeria, I was ugly. If I got a girl’s number, she would either block me or ignore my messages. My last girlfriend before leaving Nigeria was by sheer luck—I still don’t know how it happened. But when I moved abroad, it felt like I’d transformed into a supermodel. It got to the point where I had to delete my dating apps because I’m focusing on earning certifications to boost my income, and managing conversations with so many women became overwhelming. Even approaching women in real life yields the same results—if I approach 10 women, 8 of them want me as their boyfriend.

I can’t explain it, but if you’re a Nigerian guy and you’re single with plans to move abroad, preserve that status. The quality of women I’ve met in terms of beauty and their achievements is far beyond what I ever imagined getting back in Nigeria.

Bookmarked post

Mynd44:
Thats the green line

Honestly once we have the green line, Lagos is complete. Because the Lekki axis has 80% Lagos top residents

Whether ready-Made or half made, what will be will be. The major issue here is that most women think they have the “glory” in quote to marry ready-made men, but the truth is that not every woman has that destiny. Some are destined to marry a poor man.

So just because your friend is “Sharon Ooja” that married a billionaire does not mean you will be that lucky. Your own might be Babatunde a Lawyer earning 50k per month in a Lagos Law firm.

MikeofKd:
This is just a clue of what it's like to be in a romantic relationship with a virgin woman , she would manipulate the hell out of you, so you better be wise as a man in these regards.
I once dated a virgin woman and day and night I was being manipulated, gaslighted , without even realizing. Everything she wanted me to do was for her own image , if she wanted me to get new clothes it because she needs me to look good so she can brag to her friends , if she wanted me to be emotionally available it was so she could use the relationship to her own satisfaction, everything she wanted me to do for myself was indirectly for her own self image.....
To be continued.

I'm happy this virgin woman myth is being debunked, nothing more useless in value than a religious virgin woman in actual reality. Once you meet them, you'd see they don't have much to offer other than the virginity.

Character zero, career & upward mobility zero, financial knowledge zero.
They don't strive to add values in other areas at all.

I rather have someone with usable material value than being a virgin.
The usual excuse is that, once she is a virgin, she would not cheat & that's a lie. Infidelity has nothing to do with virginity.

MikeofKd:
How do have time to gym when your work takes almost all your time ? I wake by 4 am hit the road by 5 am , except Sunday , there's really no time tbh.
If only I had a high paying job with lot of time for myself I would be visiting the gym often.

It's tough but possible, people with high paying jobs move to areas where gym is closer, a friend lives in a building where gym is downstairs, he looks super fit but that apartment cost a fortune, so something must give.

This was a very interesting thread

okeke6969:
You are absolutely right on the issue of children born and breed in diaspora. Some of them with white mothers may eventually not come back to Nigeria.
Whenever I see Nigerian man married to a white woman I just feel a little sceptical.

Same reason I stuck on my decision on marrying a Nigerian (or African), I cannot be struggling to explain my roots to a lady who believes in eating mash potatoes and slice bread with spinach leaf on Christmas Day. The Brits hardly take their baths, they can go 2 weeks without getting into a bathroom.

I'm not having any of that bullshit way of life.

MadamVanessa:



Stop blaming South Africa. It's well understood that she's not a South African hence the hate of south Africans towards her can be justified.

I am telling you dear, inside Nigeria that she's from, the same thing would've happened assuming she tried contesting as Miss Lagos. I am not joking . So I laugh hard when I see Nigerians being all emotional about this online and all that when they know that, that's the same treatment she would've received here.

They would've insulted the living hell out of her tribe because she tried contesting as Miss Lagos.

You're very STUPID for this absolutely ignorant statement you just made, she is a citizen of South Africa because she was born in South Africa. Her citizenship is not by Naturalisation.

You will make this same ignorant opinion and go outside of Nairaland & God help you that you don't receive a dirty slap, idiot.

BRATISLAVA:
This thread is yet another one.

When he couldn't get women, he said all Nigerian men are ugly. Today? He wants you to know he can get women. When he didn't want children, he suggested all men be made eunuchs. It was obvious from his words then that he would renege on his preaching. Guess what? Guess who wants the buggers? When he felt he was the only one on a career path, he preached it as if others who weren't on it were all idiots. After a while? He's discouraged people who visited the section from it. Right now? He's the chosen one if he's finally left his country, but don't you dare try it. Expect the helpful pessimism.

If he criticizes it, know he can't do it thus doesn't want you to. But he wants it. Oh, he wants it.

Is this post for the OP, he has barely made more than 7 comments. Who are you referring to?

Desusi:
I lived in Germany for years. Surely its not the best place to study in view of their racial discrimination lifestyles. Why not try Netherlands, home from home to foreigners. With your #18million you would live like a king.At the end of your course you can choose to be a permanent citizen. Its allowed. I studied at schipol airport in 1986. Try Netherlands and thank me later.Good luck brother.

1986 ?? ??

Omo the sperm that created me hasn't even been formed in 1986

First time hearing Cayman Islands in my life, this world is truly big.

Colonised by the British.

qtguru:
Guy I had a system of receiving money i had Canadian Paypal account tied to my Wise, so I could move money to my Geegpay or sell to PayPal agents. it's easy to move around without Government knowing the source.

This is true and we also have crypto too, so safe to say govt is chasing shadows with this one.

qtguru:
How will they detect that you earn remotely

If you're getting paid directly into your Nigerian dorm account

If you're a Remote Worker in Lagos Nigeria, you can clearly see the signs. I'd not say more than this.

The government is going to Tax workers to death going this route, the current government is coming for every ounce of income that is generated by citizens.

Nigeria is struggling with inflation and a weak exchange rate.

The Lagos State government wants to increase its tax base, but taxing remote workers and firms is too early. Nigeria's tech industry is still growing, and this move might hurt it. Companies hire Nigerian remote workers because it's cheaper and flexible. If they are taxing them, it drives businesses away, reducing job opportunities.

The Lagos State government has unveiled an ambitious plan to generate N200 billion annually by expanding its income tax base to include remote workers and leveraging digital solutions for enhanced revenue collection.

According to the synopsis document for the EKO Revenue Plus Summit, which is expected to hold on September 25th and 26th, 2024, with the theme “Unlocking New Revenue Streams for Lagos State”, this southwest state plans to raise N5 trillion internally generated revenue (IGR) from four major sectors.

One of such sectors is the digital economy, through which Lagos State plans to introduce a Resident Global Digital Citizen Tax Management System, targeting remote workers, foreign firms, and digital influencers.

Blockchain and Tokenization Agenda: Lagos State plans to implement tokenization for real estate, infrastructure, and intellectual property. This project will require N500 million and aims to generate N100 billion annually from income fees and permits.

Link: https://nairametrics.com/2024/07/30/lagos-plans-to-get-n200-billion-annually-from-taxing-remote-workers/

1. Gentle & easy going, I don't need to worry about anger management.
2. Financial Integrity, you can hand her 10M to keep & still meet the money intact in 1 year.

folake4u:
This is a very shallow way of thinking though.

Nigerian men complain that women don't like them without money and here you are tying your self worth to money and materialistic things. No iota of high self-esteem here.

And again, Mr Eazi was never poor.

Also he is the only Nigerian man with no cheating scandal on this profile.

TheOldGods:

Since you rejected UK, I know my advice won't be for you, but I'll just say it anyways for others coming up here. Why would you want to leave a country where your dollar you earn is higher and you can sustain perfectly instead of moving to a country you spend same dollar. If you earn 3000$ a month, bro house rent and bills will render you a pauper. You're better off in Nigeria, but Nigeria is bleeped so I will recommend another African country. Rwanda is the best bet. Not only is the dollar you're earning really high there, it's way better than Nigeria. To be honest, you may earn more than me in dollars or I may earn more than you, cause I'm a motion designer. But when I travelled to UK with my meagre $$$$ salary a month, I knew I was going to be a very poor human. I came back. I live in a 4 bedroom duplex on the island paying 4.5m a year, that should have been over 15m a year if I was in uk.

Nice one bro, I like positive stories like this & your head is in the right place. In truth most people will not be rich by moving to the UK, but it gives access to travel across the EU, access to foreign passport for kids, access to opportunities that you may not have gotten from Nigeria. Remote jobs which were not available to you will now be available because you relocated. So it depends on what is important to you as a whole.

In all of these positives, It is tough to live above average life in the UK because of income brackets, extremely tough I tell you. Saving money in the UK is also extremely hard. You spend all of it on bills bills bills.

So every thing has positives & negatives.

NaijaVietnamese:
Now you’re sounding absolutely ignorant. Before you speak in public places, try and get your facts right!

Vietnam is currently industrializing and growing rapidly. Its economic prospects is among the best in Asia. They’ve lifted millions out of poverty within a very short time and their GDP per capita and GNP keeps soaring.

No country in Africa is currently doing better than Vietnam in terms of economic output and production. They’ve surpassed South Africa, not to talk of Nigeria.

Even villages in Vietnam have good roads, sidewalks and covered drains while your cities in Nigeria are still battling with open gutters & terribly bad roads.

What some Nigerians earn in Vietnam as English teachers, per month, many school principals in Nigeria don’t earn it in a year😆.

Lastly, you might see yourself as economic migrants but another person will see himself as expatriate, big difference!

I sincerely do not understand why you are comparing yourselves to the lowest of low in Nigeria in terms of salaries. Why not compare yourself to Bank Managers, MD, ED of banks.

My point is, there are better countries to relocate to, nobody should be relocating to Vietnam to earn peanuts please unless you were totally jobless in Nigeria.

NaijaVietnamese:
If you present yourself as rags, your employers will also use you as rags. However, if you have something of value to offer and you have the right mindset, nobody will abuse you.

So, you should rather work on your personality and mindset.

There is absolutely nothing to work my dear, I was earning (times * 2) of what I was being offered in Vietnam in 2018, Two years later I started earning (times * 10) of the same amount in Lagos Nigeria.

My company even hired in Vietnam & I was earning over 50% of my colleagues who are in Vietnam. There is nothing in Vietnam apart from teaching jobs as you say & no teaching Job in Vietnam can pay me $7k per month, so why will change my mindset over peanuts.

My childhood friend who lives in Vietnam earns $500 per month, that is peanut salary for someone who is hustling abroad.

tensazangetsu20:
For me the only way I can live in these poor asian countries or the middle east is if they are paying me so much money. By so much money, I mean excess of 30000 usd a month. Anything else it's not worth it. I am giving you the best years of my life with no hope of citizenship or passport and coming back to a shithole country which only God knows how worst it will be when I am ready to return so why should I work for pennies

Yes but we all know they won't pay such, never. Poor asian countries are solely for cheap labor, even when you find them on freelance websites, they charge the lowest.

tensazangetsu20:
This is true even the interview process I had then was too hard and for pennies. Lol, my boss then even increased my salary and I was like after all this suffering see Wetin these fools dey offer as salary. Very heartless beings. Even a Nigerian startup will pay you better then.

Yes, I pity anyone who travels to Vietnam for work. They will be used like rags. God forbid bad thing.