₦airaland Forum

tomyka81:
I am really just hoping that this is a vision problem and you aren't truly illiterate...

Shut your mouth - you indentured ignoramus

tomyka81:
Ephesians 5:21 please read. I Posted it earlier. This scripture proceeds the infamously quoted and misapplied one.

Keep silent - where does the bible state what you claimed below?

tomyka81:
The Bible says submit to one other. The husband to the wife and the wife to the husband

tomyka81:
You call me a deceiver and blasphemer, however you have singularly misfocused on a scripture because you didn't read.

I rightly called you both those things - and I'm wrong only if you do not actually call yourself a Christian.

tomyka81:
You also failed to read all the other scriptures quoted verbatim.

Nope, you failed to apply all the other marriage related submission scriptures I posted or answer the charge I made against you in question 2;

TV01:
1.
No misquoting - Christian wives are to be submissive to their husbands;
Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife,
Colossians 3:18 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
Titus 2:5 to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands
1 Peter 3:1 Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands
1 Peter 3:5 For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands,

2.
Per the bold, the bible lacks nothing, and you have committed blasphemy & sacrilege by adding to it. You have been warned

tomyka81:
I don't reason with the unreasonable. Continue on doing what you are doing, treating your wives how you treat them. The scripture is crystal clear about what happens when you mistreat your wife and deal harshly with her. Your prayers will be hindered. If you are so sure of your self ignore the post and rock on. I don't argue about what I know.

The same ruse; you claimed to be exploring submission (& love). Yet you mis-stated submission and then went on too accuse people of "maltreating their wives" to make your point. Firstly, that is disingenuous. And secondly, the two are separate issues and should be treated as such.

And how do you know how we treat our wives? Add accuser to that list.


TV

cococandy:
I just can't deal.

Of course I've been challenged by folks like you who like to read A and pretend that you saw B.

If you have tangible evidence that I prescribed divorce as a solution except in any case that involves abuse (precisely physical abuse), then kindly tender evidence or go back to mischievously misinterpreting what I say just to score cheap points.

How can you deal . The plain fact of the matter is that you are a divorce advocate. It's part of your wider worldview, and not surprising in any way.

Moreover, and as much as I've repeated this a number of times, incidences of physical abuse do not in all cases warrant divorce. Divorce will not necessarily be the best or preferred outcome - even for the parties involved.

Your blanket policy is wrong-headed and damaging to couples, families and wider society. Further, trying to sell your efforts to normalise divorce as you championing strong marriages, is a disingenuous as it gets.

Anyway, here’s one you requested; read your own posts on this thread ; https://www.nairaland.com/2088202/he-changed-almost-completely

And my gently pointing it out to you, as had 5minsmadness & others – repeatedly; https://www.nairaland.com/2088202/he-changed-almost-completely/6#29755931

Now, please show me evidence of my ever doing what you accuse me of below;

cococandy:
You're championing enduring avoidable suffering and pain in the name of staying married.

TV

Strawman:
I'd say this is an apt description of many atheists in general (at least the ones I've met on NL). No need to introduce her character to me; none of these atheist debaters are worth taking note of personally (Apparently, she's given up sef). Unless one of them goes beyond their usual tactic of removing parts of the Bible from their contexts and using those parts as basis for their [pointless] arguments, he/she's not going to make any lasting impression in my memory; I'd probably forget them after this debate. And at least let them just have in mind that some of us Christians are actually [more] educated and knowledgeable [than them].

As for me, I was born to argue

Please spend more time around these parts - I don't have time I'd like, and they are always trying to slip their poison in. I feel like I know you? And not just from that first encounter. You remind me of someone whose presence I really enjoyed around here. Ihe, where are you?

Mindfulness:
@bold
I can't stop laughing.
I will respond when I finish.

No you are not, and no you won't. Mindflness, is it not you? Leave it.


TV

bukatyne:
Thank you for telling us you have comprehension problems, single digit IQ and very thick. It would help in future interactions.

Oya calm your nerves, get used to the fact your opinion doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things and prepare for 2016.

Compliments of the season.

As usual, trying to hide behind snarky behaviour . The refuge of the unredeemable thicko !

Answer the questions. Call your cohort to help. Afterall Mindfulness likes to ride to the rescue like a marine - but usually ends up looking like a kwashiorkwor ridden child soldier Oya, Mindfulness, wear your gun

1. If the message is not that women should leave shitty marriages, what were you taking me to task for?
2. Should women stay in shitty marriages?
3. And finally, if you didn't mean what I claim you meant, what exactly where you saying?

Before 2016 please lest you miss your blessing


TV

tomyka81:
Lol wow I showed and quoted directly where in Ephesians it says submit to each other .... Wow reading and researching is fundamental lol

Don't attempt to "lol" it away. You are a deciever. You said this;

tomyka81:
The Bible says submit to one other. The husband to the wife and the wife to the husband

Where does the bible state what you posted above? You have added and twisted what the bible says. Further, you omitted or misrepresented all the scriptures that clearly state that a wife should submit to her husband.

To be clear, nowhere does the bible state that a husband is to submit to his wife. You then introduced a host of unrelated issues to try and buttress your case.

Blasphemer - not only should you try reading and researching, you should give up twisting and sneaky misrepresentation.


TV

More rubbish.

[quote author=kelvinclint post=41403743 ]As a woman you need to kill
this insecurity. You were not
created to live to please a
man finally you were created
to live a life for yourself, as
a human.[/quote]Giving forethought too, and prioritising marriage is not insecurity. It is sound planning.I wish I'd done it earlier and I'm a man. And I may not have been created to please anybody, but if I choose marriage, it will be an important consideration. Most people choose and want marriage

[quote author=kelvinclint post=41403743 ]If you keep being
insecure about how available
for pick-up you are going to
be in future you are gonna
get married for the wrong
reasons.[/quote]As above, consideration and forethought do not mean insecure. Understanding and preparing for marriage will go a long way to ensuring you have a solid and enjoyable union.

[quote author=kelvinclint post=41403743 ]If you take your time, and do
the right things, you are still
gonna have a great marriage
no matter how old you are.[/quote]Wrong. Taking time and doing the right things includes preparing and understanding marriage - just like one does for other things, such as a job/career, for which we spend 20 odd years in education. Marriage is actually more important for many, and important for most, so warrants at least equal consideration.

As for "having a great marriage no matter how old you are", not only is that untrue, it's likely that at a certain age your chances - and most of the point - of marriage will have passed you by. You really wrote that?

[quote author=kelvinclint post=41403743 ]Women are trained to look
forward to marriage so much
that they worry about not
getting married quick, not
finding a husband quick, not
looking good enough to be
married... U be commodity?[/quote]If anything, both men and women are not trained enough or properly. One should understand, prepare and maximise their chances. And yes, in some sense it's a market, and about pricing, so it's more than being a commodity, but no less.

F9 - try harder

TV

I see absolutely nothing wrong with these reasons - especially within the wider context of what marriage is.


TV

kelvinclint:
perhaps yuh didn't read btw the lines. I do not mean to say women shouldn't marry, but making that their primary motive is bad

You are right, I didn't read between the lines. But why is making marriage their primary motive bad? That can be the case, and they can still have career aspirations, outside interest, hobbies and various other pursuits.

Marriage remains central, and worthy of prioritising above other endeavours. And my opinion on your piece remains as is

TV

Strawman:
Mr. TV01, this still remains the most formal way to welcome someone to NL

https://www.nairaland.com/1582623/boys-night-out-discussions/148#40689047

Holá Strawman - ace exposition you've put on here. Salute. I posted quite late and without checking responses, otherwise I may not have bothered. Really deep and nuanced.

If you mean to welcome Mindfulness, she is not new, just re-named, and/or poly-monikered. In brief, her religion centres around her happiness and gives leave to any selfish act in pursuit of that - regardless of who is hurt.

It also lacks an objective morality, causing her to have concerns, without really being able to make judgement calls. Hence, she is often confused, which is quite funny to behold .

She loves posing, but not answering questions, and frequently revises her positions. She loves to blaspheme against the God of the bible, as it makes her feel better about her wicked ways. Understand that and you have her cornered.


TV

kelvinclint:
.Girls need to be taught to see beyond marriage.

Y'all need a new mindset Africans.

Rubbish. Any worse and it would have been utter rubbish. Marriage is at the heart of community life and pivotal to healthy families and flourishing societies.

Certainly, women should develop themselves and have interests aside a narrow focus on marriage, but what exactly is beyond marriage? For both men and women?

Africans that understand and celebrate marriage do not need a new mindset. That is ignorant and patronising - and probably from a mindset you borrowed without thinking.


TV

Mindfulness, if I've told you once,I've told you a hundred times, don't argue the bible with me, not just because you are a blasphemer, or because you typically only sieize verses to justify your unease with iy's condemnation of your sin, but because, most of the verses you use as excuses have already been fully parsed.

1. The bible does not condone or excuse rape. Even if the words are properly translated rape, how does it mean it condones it? My explanation holds even if rightly translated as rape

2. The term rape used is a best guess and it has been amply demonstrated that it could be exactly as I explained it.

3. Further, more telling and pretty much conclusive, is the fact that what is certainly rape is dealt with in verse 25 preceding this;

25 “But if a man finds a betrothed young woman in the countryside, and the man forces her and lies with her, then only the man who lay with her shall die.

But continue alleging conscience-easing judgements against the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ all you want; when judgement comes, your mouth will be stopped. No matter how many false christians or feminists you ally yourself with .

Romans 3:4...Indeed, let God be true but every man a liar. As it is written: “That You may be justified in Your words, And may overcome when You are judged.

TV

Mindfulness:
As usual you have the correct interpretation.

Deuteronomy 22:28-29
28 If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and [size=18pt]rapes her [/size] and they are discovered, 29 he shall pay her father fifty shekels[a] of silver. He must marry the young woman, for he has violated her. He can never divorce her as long as he lives.

Mindfulness:
So where exactly did she say HERE that "she considers a shitty marriage as grounds for divorce"?

You are both as thick as each other. I asked this already;

TV01:
If the message is not that women should leave shitty marriages, what were you taking me to task for . Beyond thick sef.

So, ask you friend to answer that, as well as this; "Should women stay in shitty marriages?"


TV

cococandy:
Maybe you intend to but You're actually not.
It's funny you see it that way and see those who feel DV has no place in anything that calls itself marriage as the opposite.
You're championing enduring avoidable suffering and pain in the name of staying married.

Where have I ever stated that people should endure suffering and pain And a focus on DV without the proper context is the way to strong and healthy marriages

On the contrary, you and your cohort prescribe divorce for anything self-defined as "shitty or awful". And not only that, but you
1. Never correctly contextualise domestic relationships vis-a-viz marriage
2. Give any heed to types and degrees of abuse
3. Or the fact that it cuts both ways
4. And possibly worse of all, never give any pause for thought, or consideration to the importance of the foundations of marriage.

cococandy:
I'm for strong healthy marriages. (Which is one where there's no abuse) Not ones bursting at the seams with horror stories but patched up and managed to avoid the word divorce.

As above, you are not. Not least because, abuse to a degree - even if only for a period - characterises many marriages, but that does not mean that it is serious or horrendous, or that divorce is the panacea. And even a zero-tolerance approach to abuse is not best served by a blanket divorce policy.

You are a divorce proponent, and have been challenged repeatedly for raising it even when the situation does not warrant it. And your blinkered and un-nuanced focus on violence and death in order to valorise divorce is very damaging to healthy families.


TV

bukatyne:
I just had to smile at this post.

You should be the one to tackle your comprehension issues.

It is pointless going back and forth you.

I wish you happiness in 2016; you need it.

Comprehension can be worked on - but your single digit IQ will always present problems; you are as thick as two short planks

bukatyne:
And the message of that post is that women should leave shitty marriages?

If the message is not that women should leave shitty marriages, what were you taking me to task for . Beyond thick sef.


TV

cococandy:
You're one weird fellow.
So protecting the sanctity of marriage includes advocating those who find themselves in awful marriages die in it just to keep appearances?
I don't know about you but to me, that is actually what diminishes the sanctity of the whole institution and what it truly stands for.
A union. Not a bondage.

No I've not delivered my baby.
Not yet time.
Thanks for asking.

An awful (or shitty) marriage does not mean death ensues, or that divorce is the best option.

If championing strong, healthy marriages is weird, no problem.

Godspeed.


TV

Ah, Mindfulness, always playing the hypocrite - when you have actually described yourself as a Christian of sorts on the past .

As for the scripture in question, the correct interpretation is too have an unsanctioned relationship - extra-marital affair. In essence, the guy could not just take the womans maidenhead and move on. It was too protect women - who would likely go unmarried if found not to be a virgin. It was never about forcible rape.

As for your usual blasphemies, those of us that know you appreciate it's just your conscience trying to judge God, so as to not have to judge yourself for your wicked ways. It won't ever work mind


TV

Mindfulness:
You have just convinced me that the God Christians believe in is not the God I believe in. The Christian God is a sadistic being who created flawed beings he needs to punish by shedding blood and punishing them in the most barbaric way. The Bible is a collection of extremely disgusting stories.

@red

This is the most idiotic justification I have heard in a long time. So a woman was penetrated forcefully and God knows no better than get her to marry her rapist? I am sure it will heal her trauma.

cococandy:
I can't even read all this. Why did I even bother in the first place
Just read the beginning and the end.
Maybe I'll do the rest later.

So bukatyne's words are mine right? Issorait.


Edited.
Dropped what?

You are co-campaingers for divorce, along with several others. Between you, you have inter-alia campainged to 1. have the stigma removed from divorce, 2. diminish the sanctity of marriage and, 3. even normalise divorce as a good thing.

I thought you had a bun in your oven


TV

Mindfulness:
Let us quote the context too.

And how was the context not quoted? I posted the whole link for people to read, not an excerpt.

bukatyne:
OK I used the word shitty in context of a specific thread
And the message of that post is that women should leave shitty marriages?
I knew you wouldn't disappoint.

Well Kimoni called you a serpent. And you were soooo hoping I would disappoint in a sense - 2 seconds .

Your implication is patently clear;

1. People - especially women - should not be made to stay in shitty marriages.
2. You did not actually define "shitty", hence it becomes subjective and self-defined
3. You were accusing me of doing just that - advising women stay in shitty marriages; so by implication, your meaning is clear.
4. You could not find, nor present any evidence of my doing so when challenged.

Or would you or your co-campaigners like to advise what you meant - in context Comprehension is the first flaw you should tackle.


TV

bukatyne:
Bros,

As you are entering 2016, you should be reducing your flaws and not add lying to them.

Pull out a post of mine where I ever said a 'shitty' marriage (whatever that means) is a ground for divorce.

And get over the fact that you are not a sole authority on people's lives/opinions.

Quote me when you find the post

And don't waste my time with one quoted out of context.

https://www.nairaland.com/2707664/divorce-lawyers-d-house-pls/9#39654978


TV

cococandy:
I don't even remember using that word shitty.

Your co-campaigner Bukatyne, considers a shitty marriage" as grounds for divorce, and it's the logical conclusion to the thinking of your cohort.

cococandy:
I'm always specific-In cases of abuse.
Always specific. Like a million times. It's the same word I always use.

And again, not all abuse is violent, life-threatening, or grounds for divorce. And whatever the situation - even this one - efforts should be made to restore the union first. Your abuse = divorce mantra is plain wrong and irresponsible - wrongly irresponsible

cococandy:
So a violent Union is not life threatening. When is it life threatening? When the fellow is already dead.

Histrionics. A violent union,may not be life-threatening. And in any event, the root of the violence can be considered and possibly resolved, before the rush to divorce.

cococandy:
Like in this man's case that he's managed to be alive because to some reason God has just decided to keep him alive because she could have easily killed him during one those violent episodes.

Like I said, you are a campaigner, not a thought leader. If his life is in danger, he can remove himself from the situation, and make initial efforts from a distance. Going straight to divorce is not the key or even the safest response .

cococandy:
You're saying he should work on it because you have to save face even though it defies common sense.

I read the OP, what has he been doing since? And yes, he should continue until he has satisfied himself all efforts have been exhausted, not head straight to divorce. Further, he should not have entered the union with the requisite understanding, preparation and due diligence, which he clearly did not.

cococandy:
@bold And you've resorted to outright lies.
Well if it makes you feel better....

You belong to the cohort of divorce campaigners, na lie

cococandy:
I'm sorry I had to call you out like this. I knew you'd be nowhere to be found unless it was a woman going through this and people like me advise her to flee. Then you'd come a'running to label them enemies of marriage.

You are patently "not sorry". Per my previous post, I typically advise where an issue is presented, not where divorce is demanded. I usually address men, and I always advice going the extra mile to restore the union. I posted the link clearly demonstrating this.

If you can fond a link where I have acted as you have alleged, I will deactivate .

cococandy:
Like you're the only one who understands what marriage means. (rolls eye)

At least I defend, expound and champion it. Feel free to grow your passion for "divorce in an instant" .

cococandy:
*Now that I spent the energy typing this, it doesn't seem worth the stress anymore*.
Phew.

You are the one stressing yourself, looking for enemies of divorce

cococandy:
You lil'un is cute.
Happy Sunday.

Thank you and thank you. Likewise. So, have you dropped yet?


TV

cococandy:
If I didn't call you out will you be here pretending to ask him to work on the marriage

I did ask him to work on his marriage that's a generic response for me - indeed, what has he been doing

cococandy:
We only see you jump into action when an abused woman is advised to leave for her own safety.
No be today.

Please evidence this . I typically only give advise when issues are presented, not when divorce is desired, and I always put safety first, if it is an issue. https://www.nairaland.com/1284024/broken-dejected-found-out-wife/2#15635959

cococandy:
Well anyhow you paint it, someone who's doesn't have selective eyesight will know that I don't prescribe divorce for every troubled couple.

Not every case, but you freely prescribe it and stridently campaign for it.

cococandy:
That one is a figment of biased imagination. But it just kills you to admit the truth that life is more precious than dying in a violent Union.

You prescribe divorce for "shitty unions" - where shitty is subjective & self defined, therefore quite meaningless. And you point to divorce in any instance of "abuse", even where it is not life threatening. You care little for the sanctity of marriage.

cococandy:
Anyway Who's that cutie on your signature.

My loffly dorra !


TV

tomyka81:
I see a few guy (OK... A lot) keep misquoting the Bible about being submissive to the husband. Here I have quoted that scripture and some more of the Bible that seems to be lacking .

1.
No misquoting - Christian wives are to be submissive to their husbands;
Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife,
Colossians 3:18 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
Titus 2:5 to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands
1 Peter 3:1 Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands
1 Peter 3:5 For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands,

2.
Per the bold, the bible lacks nothing, and you have committed blasphemy & sacrilege by adding to it. You have been warned

tomyka81:
Ephesians 5:19 Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord;20 Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ;21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

The Bible says submit to one other. The husband to the wife and the wife to the husband

No it does not - please show us where it says what you have posted above

tomyka81:
Are husbands loving their wives? Are husbands willing to die for their lives? Or are husbands dominating and crushing their wives with mental, physical, and emotional abuse?

Who is suggesting the above? The truth remains, wives are to submit to their husbands.

tomyka81:
Don't treat your women like pack mules and subservient beings. Give them honor and respect. Respect never makes demands. Also if you mistreat your woman, don't expect a blessing. It says so that your prayers won't be hindered. The reason some are in dire circumstances is because they are mistreating their wife.

Again, no one has said the above is the norm, biblically mandated or an outcome of submission.

tomyka81:
Why are you running outside of marriage with this woman and that woman and this girl and that GI l. Be satisfied with your wife at all times.

Is this abut infidelity or submission?

tomyka81:
Are you cleaving to your wife or what your friends say and think? Are you cleaving to your wife or money? Are you cleaving to your wife or your traditions and superstitions? Are you clinging to your wife or some runz girl?

What has this to do with biblical submission?

tomyka81:
Ushers pass the collection plates.....

Nothing for you. Fail. Next you will be preaching mandatory tithe

Blasphemer.

TV

cococandy:
Where are those anti-divorce marriage protectors on NL. Make Una come preach to this man to stay, protect his marriage and build his home in the face of violence and infidelity.
Suddenly so silent?

TV01.
And crew.

Cococandy, you never drop ? Get it right, I am pro-marriage. And whatever the case is, he should first make every effort to restore his marriage, as I have advised and will continue to advise people facing difficulty in their unions.

The floor is your is you want to go straight to divorce - in fact, don't even bother to label it a "shitty marriage" first, in order to justify it .

We are busy putting the "merry" into christmas and you are scouring NL looking for divorce cases? E no dey tire you? Abeg, tell Oga to "murder that thing" . Not DV type murder 0 - I hear it hastens delivery.


TV

tearoses:
CC TV01

...Ekú keresimesi ...we had a beautiful turkey...I always say that "a quality bird" is the answer to many of life's questions !

Shocked:
I am sorry about the long epistle. What do I do?

Firstly, you take stock of your situation and decide what outcome you are after.

To be honest, your description of your husband is one kin'. You describe him as at once worshipfully devoted to God and, slavishly attentive to his family - working hard to look after you and spending inordinately on you - whilst at the same time appearing to spend every free moment in pursuit of women. And not just pursuit, but taking on their welfare? I wonder where does he get the time, energy or resource It sounds contradictory to say the least.

So, assuming you are being upfront about your dilemma, and that you would at least like to attempt salvaging your marriage, there are number of things to consider.

Firstly, you need to confront your husband and come to some sort of resolution based on what would be considered normal in marriage and what is acceptable. It doesn't sound like you've done this. Blanket denials,would suggest a pathological liar, or at least someone who is not willing to repent/change his ways.

Don't involve your parents at this point. The news would be a shock to them and potentially hurtful if they are frail. How thankless a task raising children can be? At least they did their bit, and supported you when the whole thing started. And, they also clearly stated they would not be party to divorce. Rightly so I think.

If your husband fails to respond, then at some point you may have to involve both families - if they care to listen - at least to notify them of your intentions, but also to bring their weight to bear on efforts at restoration

Don't involve other outsiders or 3rd parties and tell your sister to keep schtum. Keep your child at the forefront of your mind, whatever outcome you pursue.

Start with that - all the best.

Thanks Bellong for parsing the x-tian claim. For some people it's merely a cloak, not core lifestyle. Great advice Onegig.


TV
^{...wanna weds, get a quality bird or you will dry fowl !}

Stillfire:
TV merry christmassssssssssssss!

Merry crimbo o jare....turkey stuffed...just have to prepare the bird for tomorrow and I am done !

Come Stilly, is that you describing black men as libido-led feral animals up there . Your own pass OP's own sef. In the spirit of x-mas cheer, and using 9 of your 10 goodwill tokens, I'll let that slide - just .

Watched those videos, nothing special, and other than the race thingy, nothing there. It's telling that the reverse - black male, white female - would not get the same traction; it's just too common, and through pretty much all demographics.

I was at our work kiddies party earlier today. The two "black women" that rocked up both had mixed race kids, Women and partners were all very middle-classy, but not even as special as the ones in the videos - in fact, I'm being polite, enough said.

Of the 3 black men, 1 had mixed race children, and a number of our female employees have black partners - evidenced by their kids. I'm not sure "mixed-ethnicity" pairings are actually noteworthy anymore?

It does seem black women are taking the white option more though? I'm sure many simply have a preference for white, but I also suspect that at the middle class range, many are driven by a "needs must" approach due to the dearth of available brothers?

Am I right, or am I right Stilly !


TV

pickabeau1:
Happy holidays ..guys

Merry x-mas y'all. Festive greetings and here's to great new years ahead, dripping with Gods blessings and the satisfaction of all righteous desires. Better men, better families.


TV

Sh0llypopz:
@Vivalavida99, self-hate also plays a part. BTW, I don't think the number of Nigerian men married to white women is noteworthy. A lot of Nigerian men in diaspora still keep it African because they know only African women will tolerate their rubbish.

Tag: TV01, Enlightenedsoul, subomi1, shymm3x

Merry x-mas everyone...I'm almost lost for words here...utterly dire. Totally shoddy premise and asinine conclusions, some pretty crap posts in response as well .

I think Mindful got it exactly right in the first sentence of her first post; https://www.nairaland.com/2817873/nigerian-men-foreign-wives-must#41260069.

So. Nigerian men marry foreigners in droves; true to a degree ! I hear estimates of up to 50% of black men in the UK are actually with non-black women, let alone black women from different "tribes/nations". I'm sure there are some Nigerians amongst that number.

It then disses Nigerian men as controlling and paternalistic - even the well-read and well-travelled, Nigerian male. Whose nature is seemingly so strongly embedded, he cannot but help his antediluvuian self?

And the beef? Nigerian men somehow treat these foreign women they marry way better than the Nigerian wives they forwent. Really? But this will all change once Nigerian women realise their true worth?

Surely if Nigerian men are as bad as portrayed, no women would want them Even the self-worth lacking Nigerian women - once they realise their full worth of course .

Nothing about the nuance of todays Nigerian male. In Nigeria sef, let alone the wide variety outside of it? it. Nothing about different cultural settings, expectations, legal frameworks, or the range if individual circumstances. And to conclude self hate or low esteem play a large part in this?

Not just cobblers, real headache inducing codswallop. This trope is so stale, about half a century old. It's not the Nigerian male that is outdated.


Make I go stuff ma turkey jor...

TV

Kimoni:
Pastor TV!!!!!!!!!!

A40 and TV - this is not the men's thread ooooo

Pastor t'on discern ! Every thread na mans thread !


TV

Timbuktou:
Whether Jose is arrogant or not, sacking him is the worst decision Abramovic has made in his running of Chelsea. Sacking Mou has to rank as one of the world's silliest decisions ever. I'm so pissed right now. Benin witches have infiltrated Chelsea finally. Shame.

...for what it's worth, I also think it was a mistake. I thought they'd give him until the new year at least. There appears to have been some player agitation with this one.

This saga is just beginning. How well will Chelasea do post Mourhino, and how will José fare post Chelsea. I wouldn't be surprised if Mourhino' twin mission now, was to prove himself elsewhere - not that I think he needs too - and stuff the Blues whilst doing so. Do they really want him plotting against them?


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Acidosis:
Conniving with one's father, pastor, mother or anyone to acquire a land while the husband whom she sleeps with, eats with and talks to daily is unaware or left in the dark is absolutely wrong.

Dude, you did well to answer. That a spouse should undertake any kind of meaningful action or embark on a huge project without so much as "advising" their spouse, let alone "discussing" it or even better, "raising" it as an idea/concept before they even consider acting.

And, as you rightfully pointed out, to do that with a 3rd party - whomsoever that may be - traduces the spouse. In fact, in magnitude, it's little different to cheating.

I've always been a little naive and trusting. In as much as I often take contrary views to the female folk on this section, I've always wanted to believe they speak with the best of intentions.

But for a while now, and especially since the revelations of the coogar saga, I haven't been able to resist the compelling evidence, that except for a rare few, they are an assortment of burger married, rebound wives, bitter divorceees, pained spinisters, single and pretend single mums, glorified girlfriends, home-wreckers and shameless cheats.

The main point in continuing to post is so that other women may not be seduced, nor men deceived by their wicked and heartless ways.


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^{...some of them enter multiple categories sef}

Mindfulness:
We are married and we will do our best to be the happy family that we are till death do us part but not because anyone tells us to.

Awon "co-habber" gbo gbo, aka "married because we say we are"


Teefee

RoyalRoy:
[color=#000033] Lol, pride goeth before a fall.


Mou should have learnt his lessons the hard way now. Never be too arrogant and brash in victory.

Life is not a leveled ground, neither is it a straight path!!


Seriously rooting for Stephen Keshi ... [/color]

...abi 0! What's so special about being unceremoniously sacked? I thought they'd give him till the NY at least. What a bummer for Christmas.

Wait 0! Keshi for Chelsea ...well at least it rhymes if you speak like Baba Ibadan.


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