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Tycoflu's Posts

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Politics / Re: "Spoilt Child": Okorocha's Aide, Sam Onwuemeodo Blasts FFK Over Buhari's Photo by Tycoflu(m): 9:58am On Jul 25, 2017
Choi! Brutality. On a serious note what else can FFK boost of apart from formal aviation minister? The yoruba man with an Igbo baby mama? The guy who claimed Bianca was his ex-lover?
Jobs/Vacancies / Intern (NYSC) At Dolphin Estate, Ikoyi, Lagos And A Salary Of 30k by Tycoflu(m): 1:55pm On Mar 13, 2017
Requirement:

· Interest in building a HR career, specifically in Recruitment.

· Currently undergoing NYSC (Preferably Batch B).

· Pride yourself in being an effortless people connector and mobilizer.

· Sound research skills and powerful writing skills.

· Ability to confidently speak to new people about the services we render (Business Development).

Application Closing Date: 17th March, 2017

Method of Application:

Interested and qualified candidates should send CV’s to: info@globalprofilers.com; subject of email must be Intern (NYSC)
Literature / Re: An Event That Happened Between A Fictional Character And Me by Tycoflu(m): 11:53am On Feb 20, 2017
Let me give it a shot.

"Oga abeg help me" he pleaded, his teeth chattering as the heavy down pour intensified. His torn cloths were draggled and the deafing sound of the thunder continued forever. Following my instincts, I pushed my writing pad to the back seat before opening the door for him. Picking a stranger at the dead of the night has never been part of me but seeing an elderly man shiver non stop under the cold rain was an unbearable sight even the devil will be obliged to help.

"Thank you sir!" He kept saying in excitement as we drove down the lonely highway. Observing as he adjusted the seat to accomodate his massive size, all I kept thinking was the pain of cleaning up the mess he was creating. An unbearable stench filled the air as he pulled off his wet coat.

"I have never had a good bath like this for ages" he chuckled and for once, the thought of him being a mad man crossed my mind.

"But he sounds sane person" I reassured myself.

At interval, he tried to start a conversation but I was not in the mood for that. Dropping him at the next bus stop was all I wanted to do. Moreover the biblical good Samaritan never spoke with the Jewish fellow he helped.

There was something unique about him that kept throbbing my heart. It seemed I have heard all his utterance before but I can't think it through.

Weaves of anxiety flooded my whole being as I spoke his next possible sentence and we ended up saying the same thing like we rehearsed it.

It seemed more crazy and impossible as the source of his lines dawned on me.

Our eyes locked each time I tried to steal a glance at him. Sensing the tension building, he decided to relieve me a bit by bursting the bubble, leaving me stunned than earlier.

"Charles you did not even recognize your creation!"...

"I won't take it!" He fired as I tried to explain my own reasons.

"You left me inactive for years!" He yelled back, refusing to accept my excuses.

It was impossible to believe, I thought it was daydreaming but it's clarity made denial impossible.

Here I was, arguing with a stranger and not just an everyday stranger but a character from one of my unfinished stories I never shared with anyone.

"5 years of loneliness and inactivity! Charles!"

"You left me to grow old just like that without the love of my life, Hanna" he wailed, then bursted into uncontrollable tears.

"Listen Ben" I lied, using a different name from the one I gave him. I have tried all sort of trick but I was busted each time, making me believe it's him.

"Give up the old trick! You named me Philip, Mr. Liar!" he corrected me, sounding more disgusted with me. It made me more scared than before.

Philip was a character I created in my final year in secondary school. He lost his family in a car accident and was left alone in the world to fend for himself. Determined never to give up, he weathered the storm and was meant to meet the love of his life in chapter 3 of my short story but it never happened. I lost interest in the story and never finished it.

15 years later, I offered Philip a lift and explaining why I never gave him the life he yearned for despite making him pass through severe hardship.

I felt relieved when I saw the bus stop sign few meters away from us. My pleads fell on deaf ears all these while and I was becoming increasingly irritated.

"Sir you need to come down here" I pleaded bringing the car to a halt. But he was no where to be found except for my soaked passenger's seat.
Jobs/Vacancies / Vacancy for Head of Finance With 5 Years Wealthy Experience by Tycoflu(m): 8:59pm On Feb 01, 2017
An agricultural processing firm in Kano is looking for a strategic and dynamic Head of Finance having a minimum of 5 years’ wealthy experience. The ideal candidate must have had prior wealthy experience supervising a Finance team or being a Team lead and MUST have experience in accounting in a manufacturing environment (preferably one with multiple branches) and able to provide accounting guidance from end to end including product/job costing. Do you fit (or know someone who fits)? Kindly send an email to ijeoma.nkwonta@globalprofilers.com subject of email “HOF”. I’d review and reach out to you if your paper profile cuts what I am checking out. I urge candidates residing in Lagos, Abuja and Kaduna who may find this exciting to also apply as the shortlisted candidate would be given freeserene accommodation as part of the benefits for the fill. Thanks
Jobs/Vacancies / Job Opportunity For 2016 Batch B Corpers by Tycoflu(m): 3:00pm On Jan 11, 2017
A Client firm looking out for Lagos Corpers of Batch B 2016 set who don't mind interning as a *HR Officer* or a Customer Service/Social Media officer.
Candidates must live on the *Island [preferably VI or Ikoyi]*.
Kindly share resumes to joy.ngene@globalprofilers.com with subject of mail as either HR Officer or Customer Service/Social Media Officer dependent on where exactly you believe your competency or transferable skills fit in adequately.
Salary is 30k monthly for the HR Intern whilst Customer Service/Social Media Personnel is 40k monthly.
Please ideal candidates MUST be Batch B 2016 Lagos corpers. If you fit the *requirement above* or know of any Good-fit. Kindly apply or advise the person to apply.
Thanks.
Jobs/Vacancies / Re: 4 Weeks Contract Job For Experienced Accountant by Tycoflu(m): 11:46am On Jan 07, 2017
aroo:
I have sent in my Cv and I am available as soon as possible,i have 6 years of working experience. Am looking forward to hearing from you soon. My number 09063905573.
Thank you.
Boss no be me dey recruit oh! Na my friend way be HR personnel dey do am.
Jobs/Vacancies / 4 Weeks Contract Job For Experienced Accountant by Tycoflu(m): 8:15am On Jan 07, 2017
Do you know any sound Accountant who probably is out of a job at the moment and does not mind being engaged with a firm for a short project (Timeline is 4 weeks, Saturdays inclusive).. If yes, please share this with such person.

Our client need two (2) external resource persons with minimum of 5years cognate experience to carry out an accounting engagement... 


This involves provision of reconciliation services and support with financial statement preparations.


There are 4 deliverables for the reconciliation exercise, and include:

• Process documentation

• Accounting entries documentation

• Reconciled Account Balances, signed and dated by the preparer and reviewer

• Filing of all relevant support documents


Ideally the candidates should meet the following predetermined criteria:

(i) Good understanding of accounting practices and standards (IFRS)

(ii) Critical thinking and questioning mindset

(iii) High level use of analytic tools especially Microsoft Excel

(iv) Good communication skills - oral and writing, especially report writing

Share resume with me (ijeoma.nkwonta@globalprofilers.com), subject of mail should be External Consultant. Only shortlisted candidates will be contacted
Politics / Re: Text Of Press Briefing By Maj. Gen. Leo Irabor by Tycoflu(m): 8:06am On Jan 07, 2017
Great one there!

Jobs/Vacancies / Job Opportunity For Young Accountant With 2 Years Experience by Tycoflu(m): 8:00am On Jan 07, 2017
Are you (or do you know) a young accountant of 2 years cognate experience checking out a more challenging and exciting opportunity this year?

A reputable financial advisory firm having acquired some mid-sized agric processing firms in KANO need you to join their team. 

Highlights:

Opportunity to move around recently acquired businesses and help to ensure the business system is standardized.

You will be pioneering changes, albeit having visionary leaders supporting you to ensure landmark changes.

Competitive salary, free serene accommodation, Visionary leaders.

If interested or know someone who is, kindly send in resumes to ijeoma.nkwonta@globalprofilers.com
Subject of mail Young Chartered Accountant. Thanks.
Health / Re: 9,579 Lagosians Tested Positive To HIV In 6 Months - LSACA by Tycoflu(m): 4:41pm On Nov 24, 2016
With the millions way dey lagos, na only 600 and something thousand gree do the test that give more than 15,000 positive result. Na people way dey sure of themselves dey go do test self. Imagine millions of unknown postive ones in the streets that keep sharing it everyday.
Agriculture / Re: VEGOLAS FARMER'S MARKET: A Step Into The Future by Tycoflu(m): 5:39am On Oct 06, 2016
Nice one boss, you are a pace setter. How do you preserve them to maintain their freshness for days considering epileptic power supply and high cost of running a generator 24 hours daily?
Agriculture / Re: Hastom Internship Programme by Tycoflu(m): 7:00pm On Sep 10, 2016
Nice one boss. I will chat you up tomorrow.
Agriculture / Re: Dream Comes True For Young Farmer by Tycoflu(m): 12:58pm On Sep 03, 2016
Willie2015:


Try and find a family member or close relative who has an unused plot of land. Go to any village close to you and see their Chief. They are always ever willing to help you.

I never thought of that sha. I will try this your suggestion by next year, savings from my salary will help. Agric is the way out of the frustration of unemployment and venturing into is one of my best decisions in life.
Agriculture / Re: Dream Comes True For Young Farmer by Tycoflu(m): 12:04pm On Sep 03, 2016
Nice story. Starting up a farm is not so easy cuz of fund and lack of land. I did a 3 months intensive training on vegetable farming with one of the gurus in nairaland. No fund or land to start mine so I decided to manage farm for ones with fund but lack experience or don't have time.
Agriculture / Re: Make Over 300% Profit From Planting Ginger by Tycoflu(m): 11:54am On Aug 26, 2016
Uploading pictures of your farm and ginger during it's different stages of growth will go a long way in
convincing people. A little adjustment of your marketing strategy will help too; give out free info on the basics of ginger farming , and how to control pests that attack. That's how the bosses in agric section do it (world1, jethro2, organicfoods, hotmas etc.) and it makes people trust and patronize them.

2 Likes 1 Share

Agriculture / Re: Photos Of My Tomato Garden by Tycoflu(m): 2:39am On Aug 23, 2016
Kizyte:
More photos
Nice one sir, I think it's tomato Alternaria blight that is affecting your tomatoes. I also noticed it on a farm I did my vegetable training on. Your tomatoes are doing great and are growing fast unlike the hybrid seeds sold in Nigeria that takes 17- 21 days to nurse and about 2 months to start fruiting.This link might help in managing the blight. www.gardeningknowhow.com/edible/vegetables/tomato/early-blight-alternaria-tomato-leaf-spots-yellow-leaves.htm

1 Like 1 Share

Agriculture / Re: Two Nigerians Go Into Agriculture Because Of Economic Hardship. Pictures by Tycoflu(m): 5:11pm On Jun 03, 2016
boldmama:
Pls I need tomatoes farmers in here to get in touch. I intend to go into tomatoes farming and need all the help and advice I can get. Tnx

contact her www.nairaland.com/jethro2
Agriculture / Re: Two Nigerians Go Into Agriculture Because Of Economic Hardship. Pictures by Tycoflu(m): 4:11am On Jun 01, 2016
netx:

hello, where do you intend to undergo the training. I'm interested
www.nairaland.com/3101471/free-farm-vegetable-practical-training#46088342
Agriculture / Re: Two Nigerians Go Into Agriculture Because Of Economic Hardship. Pictures by Tycoflu(m): 2:55pm On May 31, 2016
Wisdomkosi:
Thanks bro. Can you share me with some links?

Oga at the top just asked you the location of your farm. He will be of great help to you. I am an intending farmer but I am going for a training on vegetable farming by the boss of tomatoes.

2 Likes

Agriculture / Re: Two Nigerians Go Into Agriculture Because Of Economic Hardship. Pictures by Tycoflu(m): 12:04pm On May 31, 2016
That's not a bad idea, I suggest you link up with experienced cassava gurus on NL for tips and guidance.

18 Likes 1 Share

Celebrities / Re: Yeni Kuti Engaged To Theo Lawson On Her 55th Birthday by Tycoflu(m): 7:17pm On May 29, 2016
No be this lady sing that popular "Bosko yegbe, Oh! yegbe" song back then? I was primary 3 or so then.

1 Like

Gaming / Re: *************funny Gaming Pictures ************** by Tycoflu(m): 6:32pm On May 26, 2016
Lajilajo:
Still trying to figure the concept here

Let me help a little using the second to the last picture. "I hate this game" said the gamer but he has spent 14 days and some hours playing it. Op nice one. Maxpayne and vice city own funny die.

1 Like

Agriculture / Re: My Backyard Cucumber--season 2 by Tycoflu(m): 3:31pm On May 26, 2016
hasami:


goodmorning..pls how can i utilize one acre of land judiciously for the following:tomato green house farming,cucumber and water melon cultivation.kindly advice on number of plots to allocate for each that would yield reasonable profit...i am a newbie.

Go through the profile of the Op.
www.nairaland.com/2101456/tomato-production-marketing-facts-backed
Agriculture / Re: Pls Can I Get A Tip On Planting Tomatoes. by Tycoflu(m): 5:39am On May 24, 2016
Search for jethro2' s thread on tomatoes or go through all her posts and topic. They have lots of information. But you can attend her upcoming practical training in june if you are free.
Agriculture / Re: Farming As A Corper#ugu Farm by Tycoflu(m): 1:31am On May 23, 2016
following.
Agriculture / Re: Tomato Production And Marketing. Facts Backed With Figures by Tycoflu(m): 3:53pm On May 21, 2016
jethro2:

Yes. you still need to nurse your tomatoes. Nursery is compulsory for some certain vegetables
Just finished going through the thread from page 1. I will be part of this June training by his grace. Just wished I heard about the training since I passed out of NYSC July last year. it's never late sha.
Computers / Re: We Have Dell Vostro 3500 Core I5 Available by Tycoflu(m): 12:04pm On May 19, 2016
How much last?
Computers / Re: Dell E6410 Core I5, 4gb Ram, 320 Hdd For Urgent Sale by Tycoflu(m): 6:58pm On May 18, 2016
Singapore1:
if you are serious sir you will know 35k can't buy this laptop
i am in lagos
Baba I dey serious, my mother board don spoil and I no get money to buy for the second time. I dey FESTAC. how much last?
Computers / Re: Dell E6410 Core I5, 4gb Ram, 320 Hdd For Urgent Sale by Tycoflu(m): 6:57pm On May 18, 2016
Singapore1:
if you are serious sir you will know 35k can't buy this laptop
i am in lagos
Baba I dey reason, my mother board don spoil and I no get money to buy for the second time. I dey FESTAC. how much last?
Jobs/Vacancies / Re: Kpmg Graduate Trainee Aptitude Test 2015 by Tycoflu(m): 8:00am On May 18, 2016
sisichels:



you can reschedule, but I don't know when next they will be writing another test so that they can schedule u for that.
I can't find my birth Certificate. Will they allow me to write the test since my date of birth is on my waec? Is the transcript stuff a must because I am yet to get mine from the school.
Computers / Re: Dell E6410 Core I5, 4gb Ram, 320 Hdd For Urgent Sale by Tycoflu(m): 5:21pm On May 17, 2016
Location? I get 35k. Serious buyer.
Jobs/Vacancies / Re: Kpmg Graduate Trainee Aptitude Test 2015 by Tycoflu(m): 4:13pm On May 17, 2016
sisichels:


sent
God bless you for your good deeds and grant you all your heart desires. Amen.

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